Last Saturday. I had a hospital appointment where I assumed I would be diagnosed with something chronic and disabling, but the appearance of my symptoms could also fit something rare, that doesn't often appear in people under 70 and usually appears in 80 year old.
(I'm in my early 40s)
I had no idea this was on the table, I equally had no idea that in younger people it is often caused by an undiagnosed malignancy.
I had some stuff done while I was there on Saturday.
The final piece of the puzzle is an ultrasound which I am not entitled to get fast tracked as this rare thing has no referral protocol. And there's no appointments because of Covid 19 backlog.
I've just got to wait for the appointment to come as if I'd got something normal like a dodgy ligament or something and then if it is that rare syndrome, wait again for another referral.
I can't have any more meds as it will mask the eventual diagnosis which means I'm swollen, tired and crap for the foreseeable. Which is tit anyway.
I couldn't get a straight answer out of anyone about it they just kept saying reassuring stuff that avoids it. So I googled it while I was waiting for my bloods and asked outright.
I know it is highly unlikely that it is a malignancy but for that moment, sat on my own because no one is allowed in the hospital because Covid 19..I was faced with a face slap entitled "what if I'm on the last bit and wtf will happen to my kids"
Predictably husband was on night shift an hour after I got home. So I tried to ring my mum for comfort who told me that even if I had something bad she wouldn't take my kids because she's only got 25 years max of her own left and she isn't giving them up.
So what was left to do but cry like a banshee once the kids had gone to bed?
Funny though, I feel ok now I've cried so much without needing to consider someone else's reaction to that. Common sense has kicked in and made me think a malignancy is so unlikely that I'm more likely to get run over at work.
Also prospect of being chronically unwell with another condition (already have two) looks appealing in comparison.
So, not all bad. Have not cried since. Lesson - cry and get it all out whenever it's needed!
(I'm in my early 40s)
I had no idea this was on the table, I equally had no idea that in younger people it is often caused by an undiagnosed malignancy.
I had some stuff done while I was there on Saturday.
The final piece of the puzzle is an ultrasound which I am not entitled to get fast tracked as this rare thing has no referral protocol. And there's no appointments because of Covid 19 backlog.
I've just got to wait for the appointment to come as if I'd got something normal like a dodgy ligament or something and then if it is that rare syndrome, wait again for another referral.
I can't have any more meds as it will mask the eventual diagnosis which means I'm swollen, tired and crap for the foreseeable. Which is tit anyway.
I couldn't get a straight answer out of anyone about it they just kept saying reassuring stuff that avoids it. So I googled it while I was waiting for my bloods and asked outright.
I know it is highly unlikely that it is a malignancy but for that moment, sat on my own because no one is allowed in the hospital because Covid 19..I was faced with a face slap entitled "what if I'm on the last bit and wtf will happen to my kids"
Predictably husband was on night shift an hour after I got home. So I tried to ring my mum for comfort who told me that even if I had something bad she wouldn't take my kids because she's only got 25 years max of her own left and she isn't giving them up.
So what was left to do but cry like a banshee once the kids had gone to bed?
Funny though, I feel ok now I've cried so much without needing to consider someone else's reaction to that. Common sense has kicked in and made me think a malignancy is so unlikely that I'm more likely to get run over at work.
Also prospect of being chronically unwell with another condition (already have two) looks appealing in comparison.
So, not all bad. Have not cried since. Lesson - cry and get it all out whenever it's needed!
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