I wasn’t intending to be rude or cause offence to anyone however this man DOES have something wrong with him, he displayed a lot of autistic traits and I was also told by a colleague who briefly knew his parents that he was slightly autistic. I’m by no means blaming his actions on being autistic - I was just trying to include all the details of his personality so people could try and and picture what this guy is like. Nor am I saying anyone else with Austism is a pervert. I apologise if I caused offence but that honestly wasn’t what was intended.
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I know it probably wasn't what you intended, just trying to make you consider your words a little more since I work at a group with autistic people and they've had some bad reactions from people due to that type of thing being said and others not knowing better that not all people are like that and been bullied or harassed for being "different". By the way you can't be slightly autistic - not possible. Either an are or aren't situation. Perhaps he had some learning problem? Doesn't matter anyway, whatever he might or might not had his behaviour was unacceptable.
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You are just nitpicking she went through an horrendous experience and she can describe it whatever way she wants. Imagine you are 17 and in that situation how would you describe it?
I was also about to say this, the original post was written in a very articulate manner - no need for the condescending tone... "just trying to make you consider your words a little more". The original poster never meant any malice to those with autism... no requirement to be so pertinent.
Shortgirl did not set out to cause offence. However, 'a bit autistic' would be offensive to an autistic person. I actually thought that when I first read it.
It's not about walking on eggshells, we've all said shortgirl didn't mean it in that way but it doesnt mean it shouldn't be pulled up.
It's not about walking on eggshells, we've all said shortgirl didn't mean it in that way but it doesnt mean it shouldn't be pulled up.
I don’t know what else I can do other than apologise. I didn’t mean to cause offence to other people, however would you call someone else out for describing a blonde person as being blonde? I didn’t mean to cause offence and I apologise to anyone who has taken it offensively but all I can say is if you knew this man you would understand.
Reading back my original post, yes I see how that could be taken offensively and I should have worded it a lot better. I’m sorry to anyone who I have offended, I will in future think about how I am trying to put my point across.
Reading back my original post, yes I see how that could be taken offensively and I should have worded it a lot better. I’m sorry to anyone who I have offended, I will in future think about how I am trying to put my point across.
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Most of us knew what you meant. I think it was taken way out of context. You’re dammed if you do and dammed if you don’t with things like autism I think.
Well done for sharing your story here. It must have been awful.
By no means am I trying to be ignorant, I don’t have much knowledge on the subject, however I always thought that Autism had spectrums -please correct me if I’m wrong. What I should have said is that during the time I knew him he displayed many autistic traits and I would describe him as being high-functioning and he would definitely be somewhere on the autistic spectrum. Like I said before - I am not blaming his behaviour on this I was just trying to give a description of what this man was like in general so that people could picture him. I apologise and I shouldn’t have included that. I don’t know for sure that he had it as he never told me himself, but as I said I heard off a colleague who knew his parents that he was autistic. This colleague tried to use this as a way to justify his behaviour however like I’ve said, he knew full well what he was doing and has nothing to do with whether he has or hasn’t got autism. It was such a small comment I made I honestly wasn’t meaning it in a rude/disrespectful way.
i also would like to thank you for sharing your story it took a lot of courage to get through that ordeal. I can say the wrong words sometimes to describe a situation but you did it very articulately for one so young. Stay strong x
Wheb my friend and I were 16 we walked from her dads flat to the cinema, it was 5 minute walk if that. It was summer and about 5pm so still light.
We walked across this car park and I noticed this guy walking behind us but thought nothing of it, he then suddenly appeared beside me. He walked round me and stood infront of my friend who said 'can I help you?' and he just leant in as if to kiss her. We both ran, ive never ran so fast in my life. Luckily there was a group of men round the corner and they could see our terror and this guy chasing us so they surrounded him and told us to run which we did. My friend phoned her dad who came to pick us up and he then rang the police.
The police came and found the guy on top of another women with her boyfriend trying to pull him off.
We gave statements to the police and I had weeks of nightmares over it. Ive managed to block it out and im hoping that writing this isnt going to bring it all back. We were meant to go to court for a trial over this, we looked round the court ect and the morning of the trial they phoned and cancelled it saying we were too young to stand. We were both 17 at this point.
I dont know what happened to the guy. I know he was a uni student, he wasnt english and apparently tried to tell the police he didnt speak any English. Sadly I couldnt even tell you what he looked like to this day, its amazing the details your mind can erase.
We walked across this car park and I noticed this guy walking behind us but thought nothing of it, he then suddenly appeared beside me. He walked round me and stood infront of my friend who said 'can I help you?' and he just leant in as if to kiss her. We both ran, ive never ran so fast in my life. Luckily there was a group of men round the corner and they could see our terror and this guy chasing us so they surrounded him and told us to run which we did. My friend phoned her dad who came to pick us up and he then rang the police.
The police came and found the guy on top of another women with her boyfriend trying to pull him off.
We gave statements to the police and I had weeks of nightmares over it. Ive managed to block it out and im hoping that writing this isnt going to bring it all back. We were meant to go to court for a trial over this, we looked round the court ect and the morning of the trial they phoned and cancelled it saying we were too young to stand. We were both 17 at this point.
I dont know what happened to the guy. I know he was a uni student, he wasnt english and apparently tried to tell the police he didnt speak any English. Sadly I couldnt even tell you what he looked like to this day, its amazing the details your mind can erase.
The stories on this thread have made my skin crawl... also having thought back over my last 30-odd years it’s made me realise I have some fucked up things in my past that I have completely normalised and dismissed like they’re nothing including serious sexual assault. It’s scary that men being this way towards women has been allowed to go unchecked for such a long time.
After reading this thread I actually don't know where to begin. Sadly, there are a few times that things have happened to me, I know now looking back that they were not right and if I question myself, actually, I knew they were not right back then when it happened, in school, we had a Science teacher who had MS and was in a wheelchair, very often in class he would just fall asleep. Those in the class who wanted to learn carried on studying and those who had no interest just took that as an opportunity to act out. Sadly I was sat next to those boys who were acting out and no matter how many times I told them to leave me out of it they never did, One day they were really really loud, shouting, swearing and just being idoits and one of them (Who I kinda knew outside school, but not very well) took an opportunity to lung at me and before I knew what was happening his hands were down my trousers and underwear. the desks we had in Science were really tall off the ground and due to all the havoc that was being caused nobody really seen what he was doing. I was trying frantically to stop him but I was also in shock. another teacher came into the room and that's when he backed off but sadly none of that ends there.
I would sad over the course of the next year and leading into the summer I had made new friends from school and would meet up with them to hand out - we had 2 primary schools where we stayed so there were girls I befriended from the other school and these boys all came from the other primary school too and they lived near her, anyway, we all decided that we were going to camp out one night and not tell our parents - not that mine would have really cared or noticed I wasn't there anyway but as the night drew in a lot of the girls decided to head home as it was cold and they were tired ect ect but by this point it was around 3am and I didn't fancy going home to a drunken mum and her partner arguing and fighting so I decided to stay out and head home as soon as it was light. Staying out was the lesser of 2 evils, or so I thought but I was very wrong. I never ever speak of this and I have never told ANYONE but that night I was raped by not one but two of them.
I felt so dirty, ashamed, hated myself and just confused and that it was my fault (please do not reply to me and say it wasn't, I know people mean well but this has been buried for 20 years and after I finish this I wont go there in my head again)
When school started up the boys were in a lot of my classes, they had other friends and all of them would call me names relentlessly, they would write things about me in local bus stops and make my life hell. Some teachers did catch on and tried to help but I just denied it ever happened until one day, they had wrote all over the bus stop about me at the back of my house and "the mother" seen it, next thing I knew I was pulled out of class and questioned, again I said it wasn't true - they were saying I was a slag, I sleep about with everyone ect - when I got home "the mother" belted my up and down the house for the longest time and I was made to show her I was on my period so she knew I wasn't pregnant. There was no TLC from "the mother" ever and she didn't even want to hear anything from me, as far as she was concerned it was all true.
By this time, it was almost the next years summer holidays. I had became really withdrawn from everyone and everything and never wanted to go out, see friends, do anything, my best friend was an N64 in my room my dad had bought me! So, "the mother" decided she needed a break from me and I was going to stay with my dads friends for a few weeks.
She had never set eyes on them as her and mum dad were split up but they were an older couple from where my dad has a caravan, lets call them Pat & Derek, Pat drinks like a fish, I loved going there for bad reasons...Pat allowed me to drink and smoke and if she ever ran out she would jump in the car with me and go get more.....off her face, Derek was a fair bit older than Pat and always seamed really nice at the caravan, they had a daughter a couple of years older than me but she was already living on her own with a baby. Once night after Pat went off to bed drunk, Derek came over to where I was sitting on their sofa and put him hand on my knee and started to move it up, again I froze for a few seconds but quickly said I wasn't feeling well and needed to go to bed too. I can remember shaking like a leaf all the way to the room. Pat & Derek also didn't share a bedroom btw and the room that he slept was next to mine. I remember sitting on the bed clutching my mobile(they had just came out) and wondering who I could call....given that I wasn't close with any of my friends anymore and the way "the mother" was with me I quickly realised I had nobody to call. plus, I was around 3 hours drive away from anyone that I knew. After that night Derek always tried to get me on my own but I stuck to Pats side at all time until it was time to go home and never ever went back!!
Fast forward to when I was 16, I had moved out of the house at 15 as "the mother" didn't want me there, wasn't getting any money for me and wasn't happy I chose to go to college instead of getting a full time job to pay my way and my part time job only covered my travel expenses to and from college. I was dating at 18 year old guy who I ended up living with (and his parents) I then moved away to live with my aunt, I got a job in an office as a jr and one day my mobile rang, A number I didn't know and it was Derek!!!asking me what I was wearing, if it was sexy, would I come meet him sometime. I quickly ended the call and never answered it again after.
I think since then I have always struggled with sex, it makes me feel like I am dirty and causes issues in my relationship and my partner has no idea about any of this, I just keep it all locked away. Sorry this was a long one but that to me was the most terrifying part of my life and I thought it was never going to end
I would sad over the course of the next year and leading into the summer I had made new friends from school and would meet up with them to hand out - we had 2 primary schools where we stayed so there were girls I befriended from the other school and these boys all came from the other primary school too and they lived near her, anyway, we all decided that we were going to camp out one night and not tell our parents - not that mine would have really cared or noticed I wasn't there anyway but as the night drew in a lot of the girls decided to head home as it was cold and they were tired ect ect but by this point it was around 3am and I didn't fancy going home to a drunken mum and her partner arguing and fighting so I decided to stay out and head home as soon as it was light. Staying out was the lesser of 2 evils, or so I thought but I was very wrong. I never ever speak of this and I have never told ANYONE but that night I was raped by not one but two of them.
I felt so dirty, ashamed, hated myself and just confused and that it was my fault (please do not reply to me and say it wasn't, I know people mean well but this has been buried for 20 years and after I finish this I wont go there in my head again)
When school started up the boys were in a lot of my classes, they had other friends and all of them would call me names relentlessly, they would write things about me in local bus stops and make my life hell. Some teachers did catch on and tried to help but I just denied it ever happened until one day, they had wrote all over the bus stop about me at the back of my house and "the mother" seen it, next thing I knew I was pulled out of class and questioned, again I said it wasn't true - they were saying I was a slag, I sleep about with everyone ect - when I got home "the mother" belted my up and down the house for the longest time and I was made to show her I was on my period so she knew I wasn't pregnant. There was no TLC from "the mother" ever and she didn't even want to hear anything from me, as far as she was concerned it was all true.
By this time, it was almost the next years summer holidays. I had became really withdrawn from everyone and everything and never wanted to go out, see friends, do anything, my best friend was an N64 in my room my dad had bought me! So, "the mother" decided she needed a break from me and I was going to stay with my dads friends for a few weeks.
She had never set eyes on them as her and mum dad were split up but they were an older couple from where my dad has a caravan, lets call them Pat & Derek, Pat drinks like a fish, I loved going there for bad reasons...Pat allowed me to drink and smoke and if she ever ran out she would jump in the car with me and go get more.....off her face, Derek was a fair bit older than Pat and always seamed really nice at the caravan, they had a daughter a couple of years older than me but she was already living on her own with a baby. Once night after Pat went off to bed drunk, Derek came over to where I was sitting on their sofa and put him hand on my knee and started to move it up, again I froze for a few seconds but quickly said I wasn't feeling well and needed to go to bed too. I can remember shaking like a leaf all the way to the room. Pat & Derek also didn't share a bedroom btw and the room that he slept was next to mine. I remember sitting on the bed clutching my mobile(they had just came out) and wondering who I could call....given that I wasn't close with any of my friends anymore and the way "the mother" was with me I quickly realised I had nobody to call. plus, I was around 3 hours drive away from anyone that I knew. After that night Derek always tried to get me on my own but I stuck to Pats side at all time until it was time to go home and never ever went back!!
Fast forward to when I was 16, I had moved out of the house at 15 as "the mother" didn't want me there, wasn't getting any money for me and wasn't happy I chose to go to college instead of getting a full time job to pay my way and my part time job only covered my travel expenses to and from college. I was dating at 18 year old guy who I ended up living with (and his parents) I then moved away to live with my aunt, I got a job in an office as a jr and one day my mobile rang, A number I didn't know and it was Derek!!!asking me what I was wearing, if it was sexy, would I come meet him sometime. I quickly ended the call and never answered it again after.
I think since then I have always struggled with sex, it makes me feel like I am dirty and causes issues in my relationship and my partner has no idea about any of this, I just keep it all locked away. Sorry this was a long one but that to me was the most terrifying part of my life and I thought it was never going to end
This is utterly heartbreaking. I hope you can find some way to heal from the trauma you've been through, thank you for sharing. X
So sorry you went through that.
thank you, I look at it as a different life, I am now 33, have zero contact with my "mother" dad or brother and never go back to where it all happened. I did try counselling but it wasn't for me, brought back far too much. I tell myself that everything I had and achieved in life I have done on my own and there are a lot of others in the world who have been through more, thank you for reading...in a way it helped me to type it all out xx
thank you, its in the past, I have moed on with my life as much as I can. I didn't let it shape me as a person xx
Oh I remember reading this account. By far, the most terrifying story ever. I could picture it all and it genuinely freaked me out for years after.
This is so scary! I’m so sorry you had to go through all of this. Horrible how you were just being friendly and doing your job at the start and then he got creepy and obsessive like that!!
The creepiest things that have happened to me have not been real. If I'm suffering particularly bad with anxiety I can imagine things happening and they appear to me as a real life situation but now I understand it's just my mind playing tricks but I've seen witches coming up the stairs, I've had someone pulling at my legs when I'm in bed, I've had aliens visit me, I was convinced once that the Blair witch was after me and she used to wait for my husband to go to sleep before she would get me. I've never told anyone about this but have read up about it recently and it's called psychosis. I've even hidden from my phone ringing before as I was sure it was someone coming to 'get me'.
In actual real life I've had creepy things happen with men (typical) such as one got in my car and forced me to drive him home. And I had a man in morrisons kept following me and pushing his trolley into the back of me or walking past the other way and brushing past my arm. I was panicking wondering whether to tell a shop assistant but didnt know what to say so I just left asap.
In actual real life I've had creepy things happen with men (typical) such as one got in my car and forced me to drive him home. And I had a man in morrisons kept following me and pushing his trolley into the back of me or walking past the other way and brushing past my arm. I was panicking wondering whether to tell a shop assistant but didnt know what to say so I just left asap.
Many moons ago we where on holiday in the uk
mum,dad,me and my 3 brothers
I had my own room while my parents and my brothers shared a room (one double bed,a single and bunk beds)
anyway my parents wanted to go to the pub which was about a 20 minute walk away
the b&m owners said they’d babysit (I.e check on us every half hour or so-ear to the door kind of set up-we didn’t know they’d gone anywhere,we thought they where downstairs at the bar)
anyway they got back around 11pm and before they went into their room my dad went for his ’last wee before bedtime’ (my mother’s words) in the lav down the hallway and she went into their unlocked room
to find a random woman in their bed!
from what I can gather my mother just stood there and said
‘what the hell do you think your doing in my bed and why are you smoking around my kids?’
the woman just got out of bed said ‘sorry wrong room’ and left
never even entered their heads that the lads where in any danger or even to phone the police!
they where more bothered about their bedding smelling of smoke!
they just got into bed and went to sleep!
(it came out later that this woman hadnt got the wrong room-she wasn’t even staying there!)
when I went on holiday years later with my own kids they didn’t leave my side-and no way would I have left them with such a daft arrangement with anyone-we went with my mate and her kids in two caravans and I refused (like she did) to even nip for two minutes to her caravan while the kids where asleep
a few years after that maddie McCann went missing and I still shudder to think what could have happened
mum,dad,me and my 3 brothers
I had my own room while my parents and my brothers shared a room (one double bed,a single and bunk beds)
anyway my parents wanted to go to the pub which was about a 20 minute walk away
the b&m owners said they’d babysit (I.e check on us every half hour or so-ear to the door kind of set up-we didn’t know they’d gone anywhere,we thought they where downstairs at the bar)
anyway they got back around 11pm and before they went into their room my dad went for his ’last wee before bedtime’ (my mother’s words) in the lav down the hallway and she went into their unlocked room
to find a random woman in their bed!
from what I can gather my mother just stood there and said
‘what the hell do you think your doing in my bed and why are you smoking around my kids?’
the woman just got out of bed said ‘sorry wrong room’ and left
never even entered their heads that the lads where in any danger or even to phone the police!
they where more bothered about their bedding smelling of smoke!
they just got into bed and went to sleep!
(it came out later that this woman hadnt got the wrong room-she wasn’t even staying there!)
when I went on holiday years later with my own kids they didn’t leave my side-and no way would I have left them with such a daft arrangement with anyone-we went with my mate and her kids in two caravans and I refused (like she did) to even nip for two minutes to her caravan while the kids where asleep
a few years after that maddie McCann went missing and I still shudder to think what could have happened