Does anyone have any experience, therapy experiences or success stories when it comes to vaginismus? I feel like no one talks about it and clinicians have very limited knowledge about it. It feels like a neglected condition because it’s females experiencing it thus deemed as insignificant
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I'm thankful I found this thread, I was about to potentially create one myself. I have this and I've felt all sorts of emotions when it comes to dealing with it. I once tried to go for physical therapy and needless to say it was a bunch of people that really didn't know how to treat this and were wanting me to insert some thing to have this toning machine supposedly "fix" the situation, and I was like how in the hell am I meant to even do that!!! it was completely ridiculous, so I didn't pursue it further because I'm not trying to have anymore pain, was already going through another recovery at the time.
You are so right, it is very neglected. I get that it has a psychological/ anxiety component BUT that's not all it is, and that's definitely what they make you feel like " you're just scared young lady, you just need to relax"... it makes me want to scream. I've seen both male and female GYN's, and some can be open minded and others can be like " get medicated for anxiety or go to therapy and find out why you're scared".
Sometimes I think that it's not all mental, or even half- what if it's a condition that we just developed or were born with differently?
The fact that they make it seem like a simple solution if I'd just take on my own therapy also pisses me off.
I wanted to ask if you, OP, or anyone else who might be here along the way, has pain in specific places? I have a few points, of course specifics I won't get into unless someone wants further description to compare it to their own problem, but I have certain areas that feel more like nerve pain too, idk it's all so so very bizarre and defeating of a feeling. The physical pain and the mentally feeling so less-than that comes with this.
You are so right, it is very neglected. I get that it has a psychological/ anxiety component BUT that's not all it is, and that's definitely what they make you feel like " you're just scared young lady, you just need to relax"... it makes me want to scream. I've seen both male and female GYN's, and some can be open minded and others can be like " get medicated for anxiety or go to therapy and find out why you're scared".
Sometimes I think that it's not all mental, or even half- what if it's a condition that we just developed or were born with differently?
The fact that they make it seem like a simple solution if I'd just take on my own therapy also pisses me off.
I wanted to ask if you, OP, or anyone else who might be here along the way, has pain in specific places? I have a few points, of course specifics I won't get into unless someone wants further description to compare it to their own problem, but I have certain areas that feel more like nerve pain too, idk it's all so so very bizarre and defeating of a feeling. The physical pain and the mentally feeling so less-than that comes with this.
I think I have this, so following with interest 
sex has always hurt, and uncomfortable to the point that I haven’t had sex in my LTR since beginning of 2020. mine is definitely more rooted in psychological reasons, I’ve had a lifetime of religious trauma and fear of pregnancy. All came to a head in 2020 when I started having pelvic pain when I was constantly checking (I have bad health anxiety), fissures and not being able to start weeing straight away. I’ve recently found out it’s to do with extremely tight pelvic floor muscles, and I’ve been working on myself alot to relax and try and undo some of the damage, but i still have vaginismus 
sorry went off on a tangent there, but it’s all connected!
sex has always hurt, and uncomfortable to the point that I haven’t had sex in my LTR since beginning of 2020. mine is definitely more rooted in psychological reasons, I’ve had a lifetime of religious trauma and fear of pregnancy. All came to a head in 2020 when I started having pelvic pain when I was constantly checking (I have bad health anxiety), fissures and not being able to start weeing straight away. I’ve recently found out it’s to do with extremely tight pelvic floor muscles, and I’ve been working on myself alot to relax and try and undo some of the damage, but i still have vaginismus sorry went off on a tangent there, but it’s all connected!no no worries at all nothing of a tangent, glad you're here! I relate to those exact things so much you don't even know! religious trauma about sex and what it means and what I'm expected to do for someone else to keep them with me or not cheating on me essentially, and a phobia of pregnancy.... wow. It's so rough, both are very hard to cope with. And then there's trust in the person you are dating ( in my experience anyway, I've probably not really trusted most of them like I should have felt able to).I think I have this, so following with interest
Last year I had an exam again( yearly) and for the first time was told that the muscles were likely entirely too tight and that the LAST thing I'd need is pelvic exercises like kegels which I'd done now and again thinking I was at risk for prolapse lolllll me just there making my situation worse- better to laugh than cry I guess.
So I'm in your same boat, trying to figure out how to relax those.
I wish you all the luck with continuing to figure it out and glad we've got this thread because this is an issue in my life I can't talk about elsewhere. Maybe we can band together
A few things that have helped me (not medical advice, just my own experiences):
really try and consciously feel and notice when you’re holding your pelvic muscles tight, and relax them as if you’re having a wee-you won’t wee i promise!
that is the other problem I have - inherited from my mum, the anxiety about needing to wee every time you’re leaving the house etc, anxiety is all tied in with this stuff!
DO NOT CROSS YOUR LEGS it is sooo bad for all those muscles!!
sit with your feet on the ground at your desk, thighs parallel to the floor, 90deg to your lower legs. If you have to sit like a man to do it, do it!!
when weeing, really focus on relaxing your muscles, and notice where the tension is in your legs etc. I think public toilet anxiety is something not spoken about and defo needs to be addressed!!
I like to lay in bed with my legs in this position to open my hips and stretch the muscles:
obviously seek medical advice if you’re having really bad pains/problems etc, full disclosure I actually haven’t been to the drs about this, (I know I know, slap my wrist
) and I definitely should because now I have a chronic anal fissure. my smear tests are always very uncomfortable and it’s generally acknowledged I’m quite tense and tight by the medical staff
i hope this helps someone!
really try and consciously feel and notice when you’re holding your pelvic muscles tight, and relax them as if you’re having a wee-you won’t wee i promise!
that is the other problem I have - inherited from my mum, the anxiety about needing to wee every time you’re leaving the house etc, anxiety is all tied in with this stuff!DO NOT CROSS YOUR LEGS it is sooo bad for all those muscles!!
sit with your feet on the ground at your desk, thighs parallel to the floor, 90deg to your lower legs. If you have to sit like a man to do it, do it!!
when weeing, really focus on relaxing your muscles, and notice where the tension is in your legs etc. I think public toilet anxiety is something not spoken about and defo needs to be addressed!!
I like to lay in bed with my legs in this position to open my hips and stretch the muscles:
obviously seek medical advice if you’re having really bad pains/problems etc, full disclosure I actually haven’t been to the drs about this, (I know I know, slap my wrist
) and I definitely should because now I have a chronic anal fissure. my smear tests are always very uncomfortable and it’s generally acknowledged I’m quite tense and tight by the medical staffi hope this helps someone!
