Using mental health

[WhatABore]

My heart is just broken…my ex partner broke up over 2 months ago we had been arguing a lot and it turned horrible..
We have been in court as he stopped me from seeing my 5 year old daughter..we then had come to an agreement which I thought we did and today I got a letter from his solicitor saying he wants sole custody due to my mental health..
I have always looked after my little girl and my mental
Health has never effected my ability to look after her..I live with my mother now and she is with me half of the week as I work partime..
He has her but works everyday god sends and my older daughter is 22 she ends up looking after my 5 yr old…my. Mental health is good up until today when I received this…
Can he get sole custody??
Can anyone help me or give me some advice

From a broken hearted mom

From my experience with a close friend.

Courts will very very rarely grant sole custody these days unless the other parent is a threat to the child.
If your mental health is under control, even more so if you are seen to be trying to improve it yourself (medication, therapy ect) then it will not be used against you in the slightest.
The only time it will is if you have been a threat to yourself or your child or there is a chance you will.

 

[judgejohndeed]

@Sha384 I'm glad you have a solicitor. They will be able to advise not only on care arrangements but also the home if you aren't married.

Please try not to worry. A family judge would take a very dim view of an ex partner trying to take advantage of any MH issues you're suffering with having had cancer. Are you in contact with his Mum? Can you communicate via her for weekend arrangements and avoid speaking to him in the mornings/afternoons on the other days? If you need to pass a message, go through his Mum or use a notebook that your daughter takes with her. This is what a court would suggest if two parents are struggling with contact, you don't need to talk to him and get yourself worked up.

 

[Sha384]

Basically the story is I am going through early menopause due to breast cancer…I can’t take anything for it and my mood does go low and I do have out burst of anger but he drives me to them outbursts
I never ever hurt my little girl she my world I do everything for her and I mean everything he has her on a Sunday and he gets his mother to mind her.

I am living at my mams for now till I get my own place and he has her the days I work which is Monday to Wednesday 6 to 4 hence he has her the early mornings..

We we’re not married and my name is not on the family home…

im sick with worry…I have solicitor so he has gone back to my exs solictor saying I’m not having that

Sorry i ment I was not having him having full custody

 

[judgejohndeed]

Keep calm. If things have turned horrible, he might be playing up to your MH to get care - he will know this could send you spiralling. Is your MH managed, are you on medication etc? Therapy? Keep doing what you're doing, don't let it get to you, if there is no evidence that your MH has affected care then a court is not going to grant him sole care.

 

[AFlyOnYourWall]

What a bastard. Whatever you do, don’t let him get to you. Keep your head up and keep powering through, for the sake of the child.

 

[JoeBloggs]

Unless there is medical or any other evidence to say that your mental health effects your childs safety I highly doubt he will get sole custody, especially as the father. Are you doing anything to get help, medication, therapy etc?

Do you have a solicitor? Talk it though with them, they will know the parameters of the law and how best to get you more time with her.

 

[Sha384]

My heart is just broken…my ex partner broke up over 2 months ago we had been arguing a lot and it turned horrible..
We have been in court as he stopped me from seeing my 5 year old daughter..we then had come to an agreement which I thought we did and today I got a letter from his solicitor saying he wants sole custody due to my mental health..
I have always looked after my little girl and my mental
Health has never effected my ability to look after her..I live with my mother now and she is with me half of the week as I work partime..
He has her but works everyday god sends and my older daughter is 22 she ends up looking after my 5 yr old…my. Mental health is good up until today when I received this…
Can he get sole custody??
Can anyone help me or give me some advice

From a broken hearted mom