Unwanted lodger

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Hi I just need a bit of advise and possibly someone to let me know if I’m being reasonable or im right…
Basically my husbands friend has left his wife this weekend, and has asked my husband if he can stay at ours.
My husband has said yes for a couple of days but I’m absolutely fuming about it.
I work from home and can’t be having someone moping around all day when I’m working and on meetings.
I’d just like to add he has family and single friends who have also offered to put him up. The breakup was the husbands decision but he doesn’t seem to have thought about any of the consequences of finding somewhere to stay etc
I’m just worried that days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months.
My husband has told him he needs to start sorting stuff out today and this week as at the moment he’s currently moping around and wallowing.
Am I being a b1tch???
 
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You have to be firm and give him a date to be sorted by, it will do him good to get himself sorted.
 
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Stick to your guns, he's been told a couple of days so 2-3 days maximum. Make sure you husband is firm and keeps on at him.

He wasn't kicked out, he left her so this is on him to sort.
 
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Stick to your guns, he's been told a couple of days so 2-3 days maximum. Make sure you husband is firm and keeps on at him.

He wasn't kicked out, he left her so this is on him to sort.
Thanks all, I’m glad you all seem to agree as most of my friends do too. It has just really infuriated me because surely if you’re going to make such a life altering decision, you think about what you’re going to do afterwards? And the repercussions?
Why does he think he can just stay at friends houses. He has a good job and money etc.
I will be making it very very clear to my husband and his friend when the time is up!
 
Thanks all, I’m glad you all seem to agree as most of my friends do too. It has just really infuriated me because surely if you’re going to make such a life altering decision, you think about what you’re going to do afterwards? And the repercussions?
Why does he think he can just stay at friends houses. He has a good job and money etc.
I will be making it very very clear to my husband and his friend when the time is up!
Start talking about it tonight, not when the time is over for you as that will drag it out longer. I’d start by saying now that the weekend is over what are your plans?
 
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I agree with everyone else. You're not being a witch at all. It's your home and whilst 1 or 2 days is okay, you don't want to risk him being there long term. It sounds like it was his choice to end the relationship so really he should have thought this through, I'd perhaps be a bit more sympathetic if she'd left him with nowhere to go.
 
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Thanks all, I’m glad you all seem to agree as most of my friends do too. It has just really infuriated me because surely if you’re going to make such a life altering decision, you think about what you’re going to do afterwards? And the repercussions?
Why does he think he can just stay at friends houses. He has a good job and money etc.
I will be making it very very clear to my husband and his friend when the time is up!
I think that's where you need to start. If he had planned to leave her, what was his plan? As Laurie has said, start tonight. Sit down maybe over dinner and be frank. He needs to get sorted and quick. Be calm despite your anger (which is completely understandable) and perhaps speak to your husband before so you are both going in on the same page.
 
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Start talking about it tonight, not when the time is over for you as that will drag it out longer. I’d start by saying now that the weekend is over what are your plans?
Luckily my partner has kind of said that to him this morning, he’s quite tough love, and said right you’ve had your weekend, now is the time to start being realistic
so I’m hoping he’s thinking about long term accommodation but that will probably take a couple of weeks to sort 😤
 
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Thanks all, I’m glad you all seem to agree as most of my friends do too. It has just really infuriated me because surely if you’re going to make such a life altering decision, you think about what you’re going to do afterwards? And the repercussions?
Why does he think he can just stay at friends houses. He has a good job and money etc.
I will be making it very very clear to my husband and his friend when the time is up!
If he has money cant he just book in to a hotel or find a room to rent, my husbands friend split up with his partner a few months ago and was dropping heavy hints he wanted to stay with us, my husband laughed it off as a joke with him I would of gone mad at him if he let him stay, my home is very much my safe place I couldnt have coped. As others have said stand firm good luck.
 
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If he’s got family I’d be telling him he has to go there if he hasn’t found somewhere to live yet. Especially if it was his decision to leave. I’d maybe feel a bit sorry for him if his partner had kicked him out.

You’ve been nice by letting him stop a couple of nights and if you’d made it clear it was only for a weekend then he should know he’s got to go. Definitely stick to your guns and don’t let him stop any longer than you’ve said or you might not get rid of him for ages.
 
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Thanks everyone, you’ve all made me feel better and I’m not being a cow.
Luckily he hasn’t come to ours yet, he’s at another friends, so I’m hoping he isn’t coming at all! He can’t just sofa surf! 🙄

I'd be looking at hotels offers/ property listings on right move and showing him! 😂
My husband has been doing this for him and dropping hints 😂🙈
 
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