Suzesnooze
VIP Member
You only have to help towards their living costs as they all get a loan for tuition fees. We’ve hardly had to help our daughter as she used her maintenance loan and got a part time job.
- Notice
Suzesnooze
VIP Member
Also, you said you’re planning on buying her a car for her 17th birthday so use that money towards her Uni living costs instead (plus what you would have spent on car insurance etc).
But why buy a car before she’s even passed her test? My sister did that and her daughter still hasn’t passed 4 years later!
My son doesn’t earn much on his apprenticeship but we still make him pay us a small weekly amount towards his living costs as it teaches them responsibility.
But why buy a car before she’s even passed her test? My sister did that and her daughter still hasn’t passed 4 years later!
My son doesn’t earn much on his apprenticeship but we still make him pay us a small weekly amount towards his living costs as it teaches them responsibility.
Suzesnooze
VIP Member
Use the government student finance calculator. Based on income of 62K she would get (see attached). So you would have to top her up a bit or she could get a part time job like a lot of students?
My daughter didn’t want to go to Uni but I persuaded her and she didn’t regret it. As someone says above it’s not just about studying, it’s life experience etc.She’s had to deal with all sorts plus disruptions from covid. She has a part time job and funds her own living costs now doing her Masters. It’s been the making of her!
My son did not want to go to Uni (but also not as academic as my daughter), so he has an Apprenticeship. The money is rubbish for 3 years but he does love it but he’s still enjoying being mothered and having everything done for him because he’s still living at home!
I doubt my daughter will return home after her Masters and I don’t really want her to! She’s independent now and I doubt she would want to live at home again.
I think sometimes it’s the parents not wanting their kids to leave home as to why they don’t want them to go to Uni! It’s her life, not yours and so you should let her make her own choices. Sorry to be blunt.
My daughter didn’t want to go to Uni but I persuaded her and she didn’t regret it. As someone says above it’s not just about studying, it’s life experience etc.She’s had to deal with all sorts plus disruptions from covid. She has a part time job and funds her own living costs now doing her Masters. It’s been the making of her!
My son did not want to go to Uni (but also not as academic as my daughter), so he has an Apprenticeship. The money is rubbish for 3 years but he does love it but he’s still enjoying being mothered and having everything done for him because he’s still living at home!
I doubt my daughter will return home after her Masters and I don’t really want her to! She’s independent now and I doubt she would want to live at home again.
I think sometimes it’s the parents not wanting their kids to leave home as to why they don’t want them to go to Uni! It’s her life, not yours and so you should let her make her own choices. Sorry to be blunt.
Attachments
Ensay
VIP Member
I went to University and, while I don't work in a job that's directly related to my degree, my job description lists "a degree" as "highly desirable" for the role.
So I do think my degree helped me get my current job even though it may not necessarily seem so at first glance. I need to have good written/communication skills (I did a lot of essays and a dissertation at Uni), I need to have good presentational skills (again, I did plenty of presentations at Uni) and I need to manage multiple deadlines (at Uni I'd have lots of deadlines for essays/coursework).
So not only does a University degree give you lots of professional skills that you keep for life, but it also means you learn some independence and grow up as a result. Loans are available and -- coupled with a part time job -- means your child can cover the majority (if not all) of the costs themselves and hence learn financial independence as a result.
It's not for everyone, but I think if a child has the ability and desire to go to University, they should be encouraged. There's obviously no harm in speaking to your child about it to tease out the reasons why they want to go, but it should be done in a non-confrontational way.
My parents certainly spoke to me about the reasons why I wanted to go and which Universities I wanted to apply to. They also came with me to various open days so they could see what each place was like and could, therefore, help me decide my first and second choices.
I still remember now how supportive they were. If they'd both told me they thought it was the wrong choice for me and didn't offer any support, I'd have been quite hurt. I'd have almost certainly still gone, but wouldn't have benefited from their help and advice.
So I do think my degree helped me get my current job even though it may not necessarily seem so at first glance. I need to have good written/communication skills (I did a lot of essays and a dissertation at Uni), I need to have good presentational skills (again, I did plenty of presentations at Uni) and I need to manage multiple deadlines (at Uni I'd have lots of deadlines for essays/coursework).
So not only does a University degree give you lots of professional skills that you keep for life, but it also means you learn some independence and grow up as a result. Loans are available and -- coupled with a part time job -- means your child can cover the majority (if not all) of the costs themselves and hence learn financial independence as a result.
It's not for everyone, but I think if a child has the ability and desire to go to University, they should be encouraged. There's obviously no harm in speaking to your child about it to tease out the reasons why they want to go, but it should be done in a non-confrontational way.
My parents certainly spoke to me about the reasons why I wanted to go and which Universities I wanted to apply to. They also came with me to various open days so they could see what each place was like and could, therefore, help me decide my first and second choices.
I still remember now how supportive they were. If they'd both told me they thought it was the wrong choice for me and didn't offer any support, I'd have been quite hurt. I'd have almost certainly still gone, but wouldn't have benefited from their help and advice.
Clickbait
VIP Member
This is a fairly recent article that may be worth a read:
www.thetimes.co.uk
I am not a parent (yet) but I did go to university and it was the right thing for me to do. Graduates still command a better salary, but university also provides so much more than a piece of paper - it is real life experience mixing with people from all walks of life, understanding deadlines and how to juggle work and ‘play’, manage money etc. You also make lifelong friends.
I think given the costs involved now, what she’d want to try and be sure about is that the degree she chooses is something she is committed to, will stick with, and crucially will equip her with the skills and knowledge to be able to find a job at the end of it. I didn’t end up working in my chosen field but I could demonstrate many transferable skills and I also got a First from a good and respected Uni which meant I was at an advantage over some others.
There are degrees which have a vocational element (I got a 6m placement in my 3rd year and they kept me on for another 6m) which could allay some of your fears as she’d likely be paid for this, would get proper work experience and make contacts for when she came to graduate.
Someone else can advise more on the current financial side and what may be available to her re: loans - the article touches on it. I appreciate you want her to make the right decision but I do think that your position appears to be that it will impact on you too much financially which seems a little selfish. You know your daughter well and perhaps there is more to this i.e. you don’t think she’d do well enough in her exams, she wouldn’t stick to it, she’s more money motivated so would rather start earning straight away. Uni would be seen as playing a longer game.
I would do it again in a heartbeat despite the costs involved today, I’d just choose a different degree to do.
Is university worth it in the UK in 2024?
Free to read. Fnd out how the costs stack up for a university degree - what doors it opens, what salaries graduates can expect and which jobs are best paid.
www.thetimes.co.uk
I am not a parent (yet) but I did go to university and it was the right thing for me to do. Graduates still command a better salary, but university also provides so much more than a piece of paper - it is real life experience mixing with people from all walks of life, understanding deadlines and how to juggle work and ‘play’, manage money etc. You also make lifelong friends.
I think given the costs involved now, what she’d want to try and be sure about is that the degree she chooses is something she is committed to, will stick with, and crucially will equip her with the skills and knowledge to be able to find a job at the end of it. I didn’t end up working in my chosen field but I could demonstrate many transferable skills and I also got a First from a good and respected Uni which meant I was at an advantage over some others.
There are degrees which have a vocational element (I got a 6m placement in my 3rd year and they kept me on for another 6m) which could allay some of your fears as she’d likely be paid for this, would get proper work experience and make contacts for when she came to graduate.
Someone else can advise more on the current financial side and what may be available to her re: loans - the article touches on it. I appreciate you want her to make the right decision but I do think that your position appears to be that it will impact on you too much financially which seems a little selfish. You know your daughter well and perhaps there is more to this i.e. you don’t think she’d do well enough in her exams, she wouldn’t stick to it, she’s more money motivated so would rather start earning straight away. Uni would be seen as playing a longer game.
I would do it again in a heartbeat despite the costs involved today, I’d just choose a different degree to do.
Megansnarkle
VIP Member
My concern would not be university as such but doing a very specific degree as she's less likely to really get the value from it unless she does in fact become a forensic scientist. Would she consider getting a more general degree (like a biological sciences or biology/chemistry degree)? A more general degree would open up a world of other jobs and are more likely to be available at a better class of university (if she has the grades I'd be aiming to go to a Russell Group university, they carry more prestige).
Switchstreetz
VIP Member
There are still so many fields of work that are completely closed off to you without a degree, if she wants to go into forensic science and she's serious about it, you should encourage her.
Even if she decides on a different career path later on in life a degree is a huge asset when job hunting and postgraduate schemes are a fast track into better paid positions, it can be a real pain as an adult being "stuck" in a lower paid role working full time and having to study part time to try and get a qualification to help you move up the ladder.
I know it's probably hard to imagine her moving out - especially when she's only 16 at the moment and is still a kid - but it's about letting her make her own choices and start building her own future. She will grow up a lot between now and going off to uni, and you have that time to help her learn the skills she'll need come adulthood if you're worried she's not independent enough.
Why don't you or your husband do some "cooking lessons" with her, and show her how to make some easy meals now, or if she does get a car then show her how to do the basics of looking after it (these are just examples but whatever skills you have - pass them on!) it'll serve her well and it's a great way to spend quality time without the phones being out.
As others have mentioned, you won't be on the hook for the 9k tuition fees, that's covered by a student loan. She just needs to cover the cost of her rent (if it's more than her maintenance loan) & food etc, many students get a part time job but if you're able to give a specific amount to help her with living costs I strongly recommend splitting it into a monthly standing order rather than giving it as a lump sum, as it'll help her learn to budget.
Even if she decides on a different career path later on in life a degree is a huge asset when job hunting and postgraduate schemes are a fast track into better paid positions, it can be a real pain as an adult being "stuck" in a lower paid role working full time and having to study part time to try and get a qualification to help you move up the ladder.
I know it's probably hard to imagine her moving out - especially when she's only 16 at the moment and is still a kid - but it's about letting her make her own choices and start building her own future. She will grow up a lot between now and going off to uni, and you have that time to help her learn the skills she'll need come adulthood if you're worried she's not independent enough.
Why don't you or your husband do some "cooking lessons" with her, and show her how to make some easy meals now, or if she does get a car then show her how to do the basics of looking after it (these are just examples but whatever skills you have - pass them on!) it'll serve her well and it's a great way to spend quality time without the phones being out.
As others have mentioned, you won't be on the hook for the 9k tuition fees, that's covered by a student loan. She just needs to cover the cost of her rent (if it's more than her maintenance loan) & food etc, many students get a part time job but if you're able to give a specific amount to help her with living costs I strongly recommend splitting it into a monthly standing order rather than giving it as a lump sum, as it'll help her learn to budget.
Kim Mild
VIP Member
That's a bit more reassuring.
petitspois
VIP Member
I've got experience in Careers Advising and Universities and also in Admissions. I think your daughter will and probably should end up going with her heart over her head but maybe try to pull back with the advice as teenagers often do the opposite and instead try to show options then steer her?
My advice would be to go to the 'best' University she possibly can. They all cost the same in tuition fees. There are lots of league tables online.
Forensic science is a tricky subject as the job is nothing like CSI or Silent Witness and there are not that many of them working in the UK compared to how many are being trained. It also specialises you pretty early on. I would look at the Destination of Leavers of Higher Education figures that all Uni's have to collect and publish. It shows what % of graduates from each course are in work (and also what % are in graduate level jobs).
An ideal compromise would be a vocational apprencticeship coupled with a 3-6 month trip overseas wouldn't it? get some memorable life expeirences then start earning.
I agree with previous posters that a more general science degree would be better. Let us know how you all get on x
My advice would be to go to the 'best' University she possibly can. They all cost the same in tuition fees. There are lots of league tables online.
Forensic science is a tricky subject as the job is nothing like CSI or Silent Witness and there are not that many of them working in the UK compared to how many are being trained. It also specialises you pretty early on. I would look at the Destination of Leavers of Higher Education figures that all Uni's have to collect and publish. It shows what % of graduates from each course are in work (and also what % are in graduate level jobs).
An ideal compromise would be a vocational apprencticeship coupled with a 3-6 month trip overseas wouldn't it? get some memorable life expeirences then start earning.
I agree with previous posters that a more general science degree would be better. Let us know how you all get on x
emerald
VIP Member
I'm just about to finish my first year of university at the ripe old age of 28. I didn't want to go when I was 18-19 because I'd had enough of school by then and didn't get the grades I was predicted to get.
From my experience though, I wish I'd gone when I was younger. I've made friends with some of the younger students in my society but I feel like we're at different stages of our lives even though there's less than a decade between us. Younger me would have been more willing to party and have a laugh
I do feel like I missed out. I pictured university being like a full time job but I've found it a very comfortable level of challenge and I've got enough free time to continue working. It might be different in the next couple of years though!
Some employers are not that fussed about what your degree is in. As a PP mentioned a degree shows that you have good written skills, presentation skills etc. Not just that you know a lot about the subject. IME I should have just got it out the way with!
The debt thing: I used Martin Lewis' calculator and even if I get a decent starting salary, I'll never pay off my tuition loans, let alone my maintenance loans it comes out like a tax, so you never really know it's gone anyway. Either way I'm hoping to earn a lot more than I am now, so it can only be a positive to me.
Your daughter sounds like she has a specific career she wants anyway. That's great! I still don't know what I want to do. I just want to be paid more (and hopefully WFH!) and I need a degree to do that. Bottom line: if she wants to go, let her.
From my experience though, I wish I'd gone when I was younger. I've made friends with some of the younger students in my society but I feel like we're at different stages of our lives even though there's less than a decade between us. Younger me would have been more willing to party and have a laugh
I do feel like I missed out. I pictured university being like a full time job but I've found it a very comfortable level of challenge and I've got enough free time to continue working. It might be different in the next couple of years though!Some employers are not that fussed about what your degree is in. As a PP mentioned a degree shows that you have good written skills, presentation skills etc. Not just that you know a lot about the subject. IME I should have just got it out the way with!
The debt thing: I used Martin Lewis' calculator and even if I get a decent starting salary, I'll never pay off my tuition loans, let alone my maintenance loans
it comes out like a tax, so you never really know it's gone anyway. Either way I'm hoping to earn a lot more than I am now, so it can only be a positive to me.Your daughter sounds like she has a specific career she wants anyway. That's great! I still don't know what I want to do. I just want to be paid more (and hopefully WFH!)
and I need a degree to do that. Bottom line: if she wants to go, let her.
cushtybert
VIP Member
My teenager is also in 6th form and I would love them to go to Uni but all mine wants to do at the moment is play computer games 
BettyCrockerr
VIP Member
If your child wants to go to Uni, you need to have the discussion with them about why they want to go/what course they want to study and why they want to and what they plan to do with that afterwards, plus discuss finances/costs etc.
“Going to uni” shouldn’t be the expectation that kids have the year the finish secondary school. It’s perfectly reasonable to take some time out to work - to earn the money - to then go on to do whatever they may want to at that point.
In the same vein, if it’s her choice, she can finance it!
My older ones go uni. The loans cover the most things and we just help out when needed, we do earn more than u put, but we have a lot of child so the uni kids get some help.
aside from the education part it’s really is a great experience, and they grow up so much as they have to do things for themselves.
All unis also have extra funding to help certain students, so might be worth asking them. Another option could she go to a local uni and stay living at home
aside from the education part it’s really is a great experience, and they grow up so much as they have to do things for themselves.
All unis also have extra funding to help certain students, so might be worth asking them. Another option could she go to a local uni and stay living at home
Thetruth123
VIP Member
Hi all
Just after some advice I’m having murders with my 16 year old daughter. Now she wants to go to uni next year to study forensic science. Now I know I should feel proud as punch but I really don’t think uni is worth it anymore. Expensive and over rated it’s not like it used to be. Myself and her dad are really trying to steer her down the apprentice route get experience get paid (small salary I know) and has the luxury of living at home no bills was planning on buying her a car for her 17th birthday . But instead she is insistent on going getting in debt , she will have to get a part time job , I think she is wanting to do it for all the wrong reasons , because her college have brains washed them into thinking uni is the be all and end all.
but my main concern is financial we do earn a bit over 60k a year and I’ve read that we would have to contribute a hefty amount which we can not do , we are kinda comfortable but do not have thousands sat waiting to hand over and if she is not entitled to much help I will feel guilty ….even know I don’t want her going!! We are going to an open day at Cambridge which I’m very reluctant to go too because a) i think it’s a con
and b) I just feel in my gut she shouldn’t go
can anyone advise on the financial side
Thank you xx
Just after some advice I’m having murders with my 16 year old daughter. Now she wants to go to uni next year to study forensic science. Now I know I should feel proud as punch but I really don’t think uni is worth it anymore. Expensive and over rated it’s not like it used to be. Myself and her dad are really trying to steer her down the apprentice route get experience get paid (small salary I know) and has the luxury of living at home no bills was planning on buying her a car for her 17th birthday . But instead she is insistent on going getting in debt , she will have to get a part time job , I think she is wanting to do it for all the wrong reasons , because her college have brains washed them into thinking uni is the be all and end all.
but my main concern is financial we do earn a bit over 60k a year and I’ve read that we would have to contribute a hefty amount which we can not do , we are kinda comfortable but do not have thousands sat waiting to hand over and if she is not entitled to much help I will feel guilty ….even know I don’t want her going!! We are going to an open day at Cambridge which I’m very reluctant to go too because a) i think it’s a con
and b) I just feel in my gut she shouldn’t go can anyone advise on the financial side
Thank you xx
Snippysnips
VIP Member
It's it a must she's got to go to university to get into that line of work? I mean I'd imagine it would be easiser getting into it with the correct qualifications especially if they have been university ones but there's a difference between having them and a must to have those
Some of my family an friends all done the university route, some were never going to get into their line of work without having gone but others actually managed to get apprenticeships with what they wanted to do, it does pay shit but it was a foot in the door an they were getting paid for learning an got the qualifications at the end, one of my cousins who went to university, she was going into the medical world, she struggled after it to find work an actually done a apprenticeship in the police force an has now worked her way up in the police force after being kept with them
Maybe she could talk or email those departments and ask for advice or if they would take her on in one department as a apprentice an she could work her way up the ladder, I assume most of these jobs you always start kindi near the bottom anyway an work up
Some of my family an friends all done the university route, some were never going to get into their line of work without having gone but others actually managed to get apprenticeships with what they wanted to do, it does pay shit but it was a foot in the door an they were getting paid for learning an got the qualifications at the end, one of my cousins who went to university, she was going into the medical world, she struggled after it to find work an actually done a apprenticeship in the police force an has now worked her way up in the police force after being kept with them
Maybe she could talk or email those departments and ask for advice or if they would take her on in one department as a apprentice an she could work her way up the ladder, I assume most of these jobs you always start kindi near the bottom anyway an work up
Belloboonew
Member
We're having exactly the same conversations at the mo, she wants to go but we don't think it's the right time / path
heretoreaditall2019
VIP Member
It’s incredibly difficult isn’t it. My daughter isn’t even two yet and this is something we’re thinking about.
Martin Lewis has some articles on this, you have to see it more as a graduate tax than a conventional loan you repay if that helps lessen your worry about what her financial situation will be when she’s older.
Re: forensic science, Cambridge don’t offer that course so is it Anglia Ruskin she’s looking at? It sounds as if a broader talk about money and life is needed from both sides - she’ll need to find out that she’ll have to source the extra £ per year if you’re not able to provide it, you can both look into employment opportunities/potential salaries from that course, also think about her other financial goals (buying a house, learning to drive, having a car, kids, etc) and see if this degree brings her closer or further from them. I am lucky enough to be on plan 1 and due to repay it in the coming months and was always told you won’t notice the money coming out, no I don’t as it’s taken at source but it’s a pretty chunky sum of money that’ll be coming back to me there after. Schools don’t provide the best financial advice with this, and arguably is it their job to? They don’t know how much you’ll end up earning therefore repaying per month!
From a professional PoV I know a few people who went into work as apprentices and it only took a year or two for them to get into grad salaried roles. But these people were in media so arguably the degree was never truly needed, for sciences it’s a lot harder but would be worth looking at STEM apprenticeships for her. Not really STEM but I know a lot of the big accountancy firms do them?
It is so sad that you can no longer pursue an education in something you just love for the love of learning & subject, this country is the pits x
Martin Lewis has some articles on this, you have to see it more as a graduate tax than a conventional loan you repay if that helps lessen your worry about what her financial situation will be when she’s older.
Re: forensic science, Cambridge don’t offer that course so is it Anglia Ruskin she’s looking at? It sounds as if a broader talk about money and life is needed from both sides - she’ll need to find out that she’ll have to source the extra £ per year if you’re not able to provide it, you can both look into employment opportunities/potential salaries from that course, also think about her other financial goals (buying a house, learning to drive, having a car, kids, etc) and see if this degree brings her closer or further from them. I am lucky enough to be on plan 1 and due to repay it in the coming months and was always told you won’t notice the money coming out, no I don’t as it’s taken at source but it’s a pretty chunky sum of money that’ll be coming back to me there after. Schools don’t provide the best financial advice with this, and arguably is it their job to? They don’t know how much you’ll end up earning therefore repaying per month!
From a professional PoV I know a few people who went into work as apprentices and it only took a year or two for them to get into grad salaried roles. But these people were in media so arguably the degree was never truly needed, for sciences it’s a lot harder but would be worth looking at STEM apprenticeships for her. Not really STEM but I know a lot of the big accountancy firms do them?
It is so sad that you can no longer pursue an education in something you just love for the love of learning & subject, this country is the pits x
Saddlesoap
VIP Member
Not speaking from a parent perspective, but I only think University courses are worth it for a vocational degree.
In my immediate friendship group of 7, who are all mid/late thirties now:
5 went to Uni, but none of them work in a job remotely related to the field of their degree.
1 went straight into work and she's still at the same company, another got an apprenticeship and he is probably the wealthiest of us all from a salary perspective.
I went to university because it was my only option for the job I wanted to do. I was offered a position following a placement and dropped out after two years. I still work for the same company.
Sorry not sure what my point was
I guess it's a lot of money and might be a waste of time.
In my immediate friendship group of 7, who are all mid/late thirties now:
5 went to Uni, but none of them work in a job remotely related to the field of their degree.
1 went straight into work and she's still at the same company, another got an apprenticeship and he is probably the wealthiest of us all from a salary perspective.
I went to university because it was my only option for the job I wanted to do. I was offered a position following a placement and dropped out after two years. I still work for the same company.
Sorry not sure what my point was
I guess it's a lot of money and might be a waste of time.