TTC and feeling jealous of pregnant women ☹️

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We were told it is an average of 9-14 months waiting on NHS for treatment so we have decided to go private. Got a consultation within 2 days! It’s ridiculously expensive but it was very clear that the NHS clinics were not going to rush themselves.
We have decided to go privately too.Been told atleast 9 months too on the nhs. It’s something we just really want to start sooner rather than later. At the moment I feel my life’s on hold, all iv wanted for so long is a family of my own. I just feel more in control if we go privately.
We have have debt before and paid it off so we can do it again xxx
 
I’m so glad I found this thread, I’ve been ttc for nearly a year my friend is 4 months pregnant and I am so happy for her I really am but she keeps making comments like I want to do it together, hurry up and get pregnant and also little comments like just you wait etc. I’m finding it so hard to listen to all this she knows my situation and asks every couple of weeks for updates even though I’ve said I don’t want to talk about it 💔

ive been using ovulation sticks for the last 3 months and ovulating a week later than predicted. Just 7 days before period is due, I haven’t gone to a doctor yet giving it 2 more months. My period is due tomorrow and I think it’s coming I feel all hormonal so another failed month. I’m 29 but my partner is 37.
I’ve already got a son, I’m 1 stone heavier than when I fell with him so don’t know if that is a factor in it also with him I fell pregnant first try (Please don’t hate me) so think this is making me worry more this time.
 
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For all of you worrying about your weight, and periods etc, please please do not stress! My GP made it pretty clear that whilst being overweight (I am), unless you have significant health issues from your weight, it won’t affect much. the concern rises more when the child may suffer from it.

We are having treatment because my husband had cancer and doesn’t have sperm so we will be using a donor. I’ve been told my eggs are plentiful and healthy (despite me loving my food a little too much!)

But I totally understand with people getting upset with pregnancy announcements. My mother is the worst for it when she says “I saw so and so and they have a baby bump!”. It’s not a competition! And I have someone on my social media who is pregnant with number 6 and she has done nothing but post comments stating how pissed off is with being pregnant and has now started calling her unborn child “the little fucker”. She moans non stop about how she hates it and she can’t get pissed etc - it baffles me!
 
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My gripe is people asking when you’re going to have a baby! Me and my partner have been together for a long time (both under 30) and met at work, so I get it from all angles. People at work constantly ask me when he’s going to propose and whether there’ll be a baby on the way soon!

His family, my family, friends... they all ask too, I get that it’s well meaning and that they’d just love for us to have a baby but it’s something I feel is really private and I don’t really want to discuss any of it at all!
 
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For all of you worrying about your weight, and periods etc, please please do not stress! My GP made it pretty clear that whilst being overweight (I am), unless you have significant health issues from your weight, it won’t affect much. the concern rises more when the child may suffer from it.

We are having treatment because my husband had cancer and doesn’t have sperm so we will be using a donor. I’ve been told my eggs are plentiful and healthy (despite me loving my food a little too much!)

But I totally understand with people getting upset with pregnancy announcements. My mother is the worst for it when she says “I saw so and so and they have a baby bump!”. It’s not a competition! And I have someone on my social media who is pregnant with number 6 and she has done nothing but post comments stating how pissed off is with being pregnant and has now started calling her unborn child “the little fucker”. She moans non stop about how she hates it and she can’t get pissed etc - it baffles me!
That’s seriously vile. Disgusting excuse for a mother.

I’m so glad I found this thread, I’ve been ttc for nearly a year my friend is 4 months pregnant and I am so happy for her I really am but she keeps making comments like I want to do it together, hurry up and get pregnant and also little comments like just you wait etc. I’m finding it so hard to listen to all this she knows my situation and asks every couple of weeks for updates even though I’ve said I don’t want to talk about it 💔

ive been using ovulation sticks for the last 3 months and ovulating a week later than predicted. Just 7 days before period is due, I haven’t gone to a doctor yet giving it 2 more months. My period is due tomorrow and I think it’s coming I feel all hormonal so another failed month. I’m 29 but my partner is 37.
I’ve already got a son, I’m 1 stone heavier than when I fell with him so don’t know if that is a factor in it also with him I fell pregnant first try (Please don’t hate me) so think this is making me worry more this time.
I was slim, healthy and regular with periods. After a miscarriage I was a mental and emotional mess. I know it’s easier said than done to relax ladies but honestly do not underestimate how much stress plays a part in stopping you conceiving. As soon as I gave up boom! I fell with baby number 2. xx
 
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Took me 3 years with my first so I can relate! I was an expert in cervical mucus, implation bleeding, eating pineapple, then not eating pineapple, eating 5 Brazil nuts a day and living my life governed by an app in my phone. Nothing I can say will stop you doing what I did so I will keep my fingers crossed for you. I had every test known to mankind and so did hubby. Hubby has a child already so I was convinced it was me!! My 2nd was concieved within 3 months. Sometimes mother nature is just a cow.
Take your time and relax (impossible to do) and if it doesn't happen there are plenty of other options available to you x
 
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I have 3 children. My youngest is disabled. A family member just lost their 6 month old and my friend has pregnancy complications.
Having children is lovely, but they’re babies for 2 seconds. They spend more time as troublesome teens then as cute little ones.
Being a parent is extremely hard, harder then one could ever imagine. It’s stressful and it brings a life time of worry and uncertainty.
Life is so short, and in my experience you have to get over your fear of death and hardship if you want to have a family.
I have friends with no children, and they are happy and enjoy their lives.
I don’t regret being a mum but I can say hand on heart that if I was childless I would have almost no anxiety or stress.
There’s more to life then having babies and having babies isn’t fun or cute it’s waking up in the middle of the night to make sure they’re still alive, and then when they grow up it’s a pile of other problems. On top of that you could have a baby with a disability or life threatening illness like mine and then your life is literally changed forever.
 
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My gripe is people asking when you’re going to have a baby! Me and my partner have been together for a long time (both under 30) and met at work, so I get it from all angles. People at work constantly ask me when he’s going to propose and whether there’ll be a baby on the way soon!

His family, my family, friends... they all ask too, I get that it’s well meaning and that they’d just love for us to have a baby but it’s something I feel is really private and I don’t really want to discuss any of it at all!
This annoys me too! I really want to have a baby but husband doesn’t want one until we have bought a house (currently renting). I get asked quite a lot and his nan even told me we needed to get on with it as I wasn’t getting any younger (I’m not even 30 yet!). Like you, I know that it’s because they would love us to have one, I get told a lot that I would be a good mum, but I really don’t see why people feel they need to know whether/when we are planning to have one.
 
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hi all ❤❤
This might be a long post

so we were ttc over 7y for number one.i read every book, took every supplement, done everything you’re advised... and the environment I conceived in was
- just after I lost a close friend
- was extremely drunk and upset
- only done it once that month (and maybe first in about five months)
- had a lot anti depressants and sleeping tablets
- hadn’t ate properly in weeks
- was the most unhealthiest and fattest in my life


Before that we had multiple IVF/ICSI - one one embryo transferred rest either didn’t fertilise or didn’t make it,
went abroad for treatment
done reflexology and accupture
had procedures for endometrosis and polyps

what I’m trying to say is don’t let the bitterness and trying to follow the pineapple eating rules dictate your life! Even fertility experts aren’t sure why it works and doesn’t for some
be kind to yourself - we only have one life and don’t waste years like I did feeling hatred or anger towards someone that has what you want.

xx
 
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So we had a bloody huge shock two weeks ago. I got referred to a local fertility doctor and he discussed everything with myself and my husband. After two years of being told our issues were down to me and my weight / pcos it actually turns out it is my husband. He had two sperm tests in 2018 and our GP said that whilst the count was lower than average it wasn’t too much of a concern. Turns out they got that very very wrong and actually his count is so bad we would never conceive without IVF!! My husband is being retested in November and is having to make some lifestyle changes so we shall see what happens. We are not eligible for IVF as he had two children from a previous marriage. I feel relieved that by November we will know 100% either way what the situation is!x
 
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I’m so sorry you’re feeling anxious about this. It can be really unsettling to not know what’s happening in your own body. There’s such a misconception that’s drilled into us that all we need to do is have sex and kaboom there’s a baby.

But it’s such a specific set of circumstances that need to be in place for it to happen and when you’ve just had a huge change hormonally (coming off contraception) those factors can be a bit mad and take time to calm or reset.

Of course, once your mind and body are focused on something, you’ll notice things relating to it ALL THE TIME. It happening with me right now - I can’t escape pregnancies. But you really do need to take this time to focus on yourself, your health and reminding yourself that this ‘jealousy’ is quite normal. You don’t need to feel bad about it. But you also don’t know what someone’s gone through to get to that stage. Your journey is just beginning and you never know what’s around the corner. Stay positive and I wish you the BEST of luck ❤
 
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A previous poster mentioned clomid and I did a bit of googling about it, just wondered if anyone had any experience with it?

Is it usually only suggested for women who have been trying for a while and need help conceiving, or can it be used when you start trying to boost your chances of conceiving?
 
I doubt it, if you’re ovulating monthly why do you need it? You’ll be guaranteed to end up with multiples.
A previous poster mentioned clomid and I did a bit of googling about it, just wondered if anyone had any experience with it?

Is it usually only suggested for women who have been trying for a while and need help conceiving, or can it be used when you start trying to boost your chances of conceiving?
 
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A previous poster mentioned clomid and I did a bit of googling about it, just wondered if anyone had any experience with it?

Is it usually only suggested for women who have been trying for a while and need help conceiving, or can it be used when you start trying to boost your chances of conceiving?
Yes I it’s only given if you’ve been trying a while or not ovulating. I don’t believe it would be given early on in trying as you would end up with multiples as previous poster said.
I took Clomid after trying for 2+ years and after a late miscarriage, that’s when my consultant put me on it and on the 3rd and final round of it I fell pregnant with my daughter 😊
Just over a year after she was born, I fell pregnant with my son (my happy surprise!) and although we hoped to have another baby, we weren’t actively trying and after our experience, we expected it to take a while like it did first time round.
Hope that helps and I can share a positive story as I was trying for 4 years by the time I fell pregnant with my daughter plus a loss so I know how heartbreaking trying to conceive can be x
 
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Hi all. We started trying for a baby when I was 30 - right time etc etc! No luck despite a lot of trying. Eventually saw the Dr who monitored my periods and did blood tests - all came back as ‘normal’. Hubby had to go for tests; again ‘normal’. I had a laparoscopy to check my ovaries etc and again, nothing flagged up. We were eventually referred to the fertility dept at the local hospital after another episode of me crying to my Dr (not helped by everyone asking when we were going to have a baby, people around me getting pregnant) who basically told me my bmi was too high and If we wanted IVF, wed have to reduce it. Tried to lose weight but were still too high so decided to get married and let nature take its course. Booked the wedding for July 2011 and of course, in October of 2010 I found out I was pregnant 🙌🏻 Waddled down the aisle at 32wks pregnant, had a beautiful boy and then had another baby after 18m of trying this time, a girl who is now 4. I can’t offer any advice really as we were very lucky that I did fall pregnant eventually, but just wanted to share that it can happen unexpectedly; I really thought we’d have to go down the fertility route or adoption. It was the hardest thing to get my period each month, watch people have babies around me and the ‘when are you having a baby’ questions that made me want to scream!

In an odd twist, I’m clearly only fertile at a certain time as my daughter was due 2 days before my sons birthday - thankfully was a little early so they both have their ‘own’ birthday rather than a combination birthday 😊
 
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Being a parent is extremely hard, harder then one could ever imagine. It’s stressful and it brings a life time of worry and uncertainty.
So SO much this!

I was such an easy going person before I had my son. Now I worry about everything - he’s a toddler and if I think about it for long enough I can get myself worked up that he might get bullied at school🤣

And the guilt. Oh the guilt. I’ve never known anything like it. You feel guilty if you do and guilty if you don’t.

I don’t think I could cope with a second. Once is enough for me because being a parent is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.
 
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So SO much this!

I was such an easy going person before I had my son. Now I worry about everything - he’s a toddler and if I think about it for long enough I can get myself worked up that he might get bullied at school🤣

And the guilt. Oh the guilt. I’ve never known anything like it. You feel guilty if you do and guilty if you don’t.

I don’t think I could cope with a second. Once is enough for me because being a parent is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.
It really is. I think a lot of people start a family because of the initial baby phase but that part is over in a flash and then before you know it they’re teenagers.
However I do know an older lady who’s husband recently died and now she’s alone as they decided against a family and I must say that on good days when my teenage daughter is happy, we enjoy shopping trips and long conversations and I’m grateful for that.
I think if you don’t have children having lots of friends is important and even better nieces and nephews.
 
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