Torn as to what I should do regarding my pregnancy…

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miamae

Active member
Hi everyone, I hope nobody minds me posting this thread.

So, I am 7 weeks pregnant. My partner wanted another baby to give our son a younger sibling so I agreed, as I would love another. I had a really rough time after my son was born 2 years ago - two weeks after his birth I collapsed at home and got rushed into Intensive Care where they found that I had had a massive pulmonary embolism and very nearly died (caused by childbirth). I was 21 at the time, not overweight etc, never smoked so no risk factors.

When I found out that I was pregnant a few weeks ago I had to go for an early scan to check viability due to me needing to start on Fragmin (blood thinning injections) due to what happened to me last time. When we went for the scan a few weeks ago they saw that it was identical twins and they were sharing the same sac and placenta - as you can probably imagine I went into full meltdown and was adamant there was no way I could cope with a twin pregnancy.

They wanted me to come back in 10 days to rescan (which was yesterday) where they only found one embryo with a heartbeat measuring at 7 weeks and the other pregnancy had reabsorbed.
Since the scan I have felt nothing but dread, I feel awful for saying it but I do. I am terrified of giving birth, leaving my little boy and the whole toll that pregnancy puts on your body. I have just started a new career and I am worried that come May I will have to leave.

I am just so torn on what to do - I have a phone consultation with a nurse from my local termination clinic this afternoon to speak through my options, however I really can’t see myself going through with the rest of this pregnancy due to my fears of just about everything. I feel awful as my partner is so desperate for this baby.

Im just in need of a bit of advice, a handhold and if anyone has been through anything similar I would love to know. Thank you!
 

Sailorontheseasea

Chatty Member
Hi everyone, I hope nobody minds me posting this thread.

So, I am 7 weeks pregnant. My partner wanted another baby to give our son a younger sibling so I agreed, as I would love another. I had a really rough time after my son was born 2 years ago - two weeks after his birth I collapsed at home and got rushed into Intensive Care where they found that I had had a massive pulmonary embolism and very nearly died (caused by childbirth). I was 21 at the time, not overweight etc, never smoked so no risk factors.

When I found out that I was pregnant a few weeks ago I had to go for an early scan to check viability due to me needing to start on Fragmin (blood thinning injections) due to what happened to me last time. When we went for the scan a few weeks ago they saw that it was identical twins and they were sharing the same sac and placenta - as you can probably imagine I went into full meltdown and was adamant there was no way I could cope with a twin pregnancy.

They wanted me to come back in 10 days to rescan (which was yesterday) where they only found one embryo with a heartbeat measuring at 7 weeks and the other pregnancy had reabsorbed.
Since the scan I have felt nothing but dread, I feel awful for saying it but I do. I am terrified of giving birth, leaving my little boy and the whole toll that pregnancy puts on your body. I have just started a new career and I am worried that come May I will have to leave.

I am just so torn on what to do - I have a phone consultation with a nurse from my local termination clinic this afternoon to speak through my options, however I really can’t see myself going through with the rest of this pregnancy due to my fears of just about everything. I feel awful as my partner is so desperate for this baby.

Im just in need of a bit of advice, a handhold and if anyone has been through anything similar I would love to know. Thank you!
Hi lovely, I know you from the pregnancy thread obviously. I wrote out a whole thing to send but really I just wanted you to know I am giving you a virtual hand hold and say I really am thinking of you and have been since you left the other thread. So sorry you are having to go through this mental torment ❤ Xx
 

JoeBloggs

VIP Member
Another virtual hand hold here. What a tough place to be in, have you explained to your partner all of your concerns?

Have you though about some counselling to deal with the trauma from before and your fears? 💗
 

miamae

Active member
Thank you for all of your lovely replies ladies. I had some counselling on Friday and it really put things into perspective. I am safe as I am on my blood thinners and what happened to me was a freak accident (I have no blood clotting disorder) etc so I am feeling much more relaxed now and looking forward to the future ❤
 

reCAPTCHA

Chatty Member
Hypothetical question I suppose but if you could skip the pregnancy and birth, if someone said you could just have your baby handed to you in 9 months, would you say yes?

For me, that answers whether it’s pregnancy, labour, and your concerns about what went wrong last time that are worrying you, or whether it’s prospect of having a second child? They’re very different things and I think to clarify this in your head might be helpful? If it’s the latter I think you should be a lot more concerned if you see what I mean? The pregnancy and labour is short-term, but the baby is forever!

Sending lots of warm wishes your way. Remember to talk to your partner; they can feel very helpless and it is always good to talk as they say!
 

miamae

Active member
Hypothetical question I suppose but if you could skip the pregnancy and birth, if someone said you could just have your baby handed to you in 9 months, would you say yes?

For me, that answers whether it’s pregnancy, labour, and your concerns about what went wrong last time that are worrying you, or whether it’s prospect of having a second child? They’re very different things and I think to clarify this in your head might be helpful? If it’s the latter I think you should be a lot more concerned if you see what I mean? The pregnancy and labour is short-term, but the baby is forever!

Sending lots of warm wishes your way. Remember to talk to your partner; they can feel very helpless and it is always good to talk as they say!
You are completely right - if someone said to me I can just give you your baby now I would bite their hand off! This will actually be my 3rd, I have an older daughter from a previous relationship so my partner and I wanted another so my little boy can have a sibling close in age as in a few years he will basically be an only child once my daughter is a little older. I am just terrified of labour full stop - but that’s my health anxiety talking. Thank you for your kind words, they’re really helpful X
 

reCAPTCHA

Chatty Member
You are completely right - if someone said to me I can just give you your baby now I would bite their hand off! This will actually be my 3rd, I have an older daughter from a previous relationship so my partner and I wanted another so my little boy can have a sibling close in age as in a few years he will basically be an only child once my daughter is a little older. I am just terrified of labour full stop - but that’s my health anxiety talking. Thank you for your kind words, they’re really helpful X
Good luck- you’ll have to let us know how you get on now - we’re invested! Just think of that bloomin gorgeous, squishy, lush smelling baby you’ll have in your arms before you know it. Your older two will dote on him/her and the third is always a bundle of fun because they get all the attention so they grow up knowing how to work a crowd 😆! You’ll be more confident in your skills so will be more relaxed and baby will be more chilled as a result (I have no evidence for that other than my own experience). I enjoyed my third baby so much more because I knew he would be my last, and I felt like I had finally got the hang of it 🤩
 

wakametango

Chatty Member
Hi everyone, I hope nobody minds me posting this thread.

So, I am 7 weeks pregnant. My partner wanted another baby to give our son a younger sibling so I agreed, as I would love another. I had a really rough time after my son was born 2 years ago - two weeks after his birth I collapsed at home and got rushed into Intensive Care where they found that I had had a massive pulmonary embolism and very nearly died (caused by childbirth). I was 21 at the time, not overweight etc, never smoked so no risk factors.

When I found out that I was pregnant a few weeks ago I had to go for an early scan to check viability due to me needing to start on Fragmin (blood thinning injections) due to what happened to me last time. When we went for the scan a few weeks ago they saw that it was identical twins and they were sharing the same sac and placenta - as you can probably imagine I went into full meltdown and was adamant there was no way I could cope with a twin pregnancy.

They wanted me to come back in 10 days to rescan (which was yesterday) where they only found one embryo with a heartbeat measuring at 7 weeks and the other pregnancy had reabsorbed.
Since the scan I have felt nothing but dread, I feel awful for saying it but I do. I am terrified of giving birth, leaving my little boy and the whole toll that pregnancy puts on your body. I have just started a new career and I am worried that come May I will have to leave.

I am just so torn on what to do - I have a phone consultation with a nurse from my local termination clinic this afternoon to speak through my options, however I really can’t see myself going through with the rest of this pregnancy due to my fears of just about everything. I feel awful as my partner is so desperate for this baby.

Im just in need of a bit of advice, a handhold and if anyone has been through anything similar I would love to know. Thank you!
I really don’t have much to say in a way of advising you on what to do, only you know what is right for you and your family but what I can say is I also had multiple PE and DVT may 2020 and only found out I was pregnant because I went to a&e with pain where the clots used to be in Dec 2020 where I found out I was 2/3 weeks pregnant.
I was put on blood thinners (tinzaparin) at week 6 and will continue until 6 weeks after. All was fine in my pregnancy and semi emergency c section (I went into labour a week before my elective. I wanted my birth planned rather than to see what happened in labour and possibly end up with an emergency section, she was in the 99.7 per centile so wasn’t risking her getting stuck) and I’m currently holding my 4 week old. They will look after you in terms of the clots and your pregnant will be consultant led, I was also under the care of blood consultants as well as pregnancy consultants (they probably have a fancier name than that!) wishing you the best of luck
If it’s any worth I also didn’t want to get pregnant or continue with this pregnancy although she was our first x
 

miamae

Active member
I really don’t have much to say in a way of advising you on what to do, only you know what is right for you and your family but what I can say is I also had multiple PE and DVT may 2020 and only found out I was pregnant because I went to a&e with pain where the clots used to be in Dec 2020 where I found out I was 2/3 weeks pregnant.
I was put on blood thinners (tinzaparin) at week 6 and will continue until 6 weeks after. All was fine in my pregnancy and semi emergency c section (I went into labour a week before my elective. I wanted my birth planned rather than to see what happened in labour and possibly end up with an emergency section, she was in the 99.7 per centile so wasn’t risking her getting stuck) and I’m currently holding my 4 week old. They will look after you in terms of the clots and your pregnant will be consultant led, I was also under the care of blood consultants as well as pregnancy consultants (they probably have a fancier name than that!) wishing you the best of luck
If it’s any worth I also didn’t want to get pregnant or continue with this pregnancy although she was our first x
Thank you lovely. I’ve spoken to you over on the pregnancy thread before and you were so helpful. I’m so glad everything went well for you. All the professionals I’ve spoken to have told me just because it happened once doesn’t mean it will happen again and like you say now I’m on the thinners I’ll be fine. I just worry about everything, I always have unfortunately! X
 

wakametango

Chatty Member
Thank you lovely. I’ve spoken to you over on the pregnancy thread before and you were so helpful. I’m so glad everything went well for you. All the professionals I’ve spoken to have told me just because it happened once doesn’t mean it will happen again and like you say now I’m on the thinners I’ll be fine. I just worry about everything, I always have unfortunately! X
Sorry! I don’t even know what day it is any more! Absolutely, a consultant told me the statistics are something like 33% of getting clots again, don’t quote me though as mine was from hormonal contraception rather than during an incident like yours. It does feel very scary though and I spent a long time worrying in the first month but you’ll be very looked after xxx
 

miamae

Active member
Sorry! I don’t even know what day it is any more! Absolutely, a consultant told me the statistics are something like 33% of getting clots again, don’t quote me though as mine was from hormonal contraception rather than during an incident like yours. It does feel very scary though and I spent a long time worrying in the first month but you’ll be very looked after xxx
Bless you thank you, I really appreciate it! Cxx
 
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