Don't be hard on yourself, it can be so hard to judge what behaviour is standard toddler behaviour and what is out of character, especially if you're completely exhausted and not getting as much support as you need

I hope your husband can support more soon - baby bandit is in a very clingy "mummy" phase so if my husband is taking over I'll leave the room and if he calls mummy or gets sad my husband will say "mummy's busy, she'll be back soon" and then distract him with a toy. It doesn't always work (e.g. in the night when he's tired and sad and just wants mummy) but during the day he's pretty good at out of sight out of mind

could you maybe physically leave the house sometimes so that your husband has no option but to continue parenting and you get a chance to breathe and not feel on edge? I hope things feel better soon