Tips for an extremely nervous flyer

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I wondered if anybody had anything that actually worked for them?
I thought the more I flew the more relaxed I would be, but it actually is going the opposite way!
I’m scared of heights, hate the thought I’m so out of control, any noise or bumps starts me getting stressed, turbulence just makes me want to cry.
I love going abroad but even now for a September/October holiday I’m getting worked up thinking about it!
also family/friends live long haul abroad so it’s unavoidable too!
Helppppppppp!
 
I have a friend who swears by Rescue Remedy. She’s incredibly nervous when flying and that’s the only thing that gets her through.

If not, you could see if your doctor could prescribe a low lever sedative to help.
 
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If you can afford it maybe an hypnotherapist? Make sure its a registered one no con artists. Ive seen it work for a friend. Who knows? I think you have to go in wanting it to work too not be sceptical from the onset.. Good luck. X
 
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Xanax. You can get via private prescription from your GP, as it’s no longer prescribed via the NHS. Valium is still available via the NHS. I’m not normally a nervous flyer but there was a time when I flew from one side of the US to the other and I was really agitated and nearly hysterical for various reasons, including slipping and falling in the shower and being stuck under a very very scalding hot shower, ( I was staying at a relatuve’s house) and I couldn’t get up to turn it off for about two minutes and my father had just died. A friend came over and gave me some of his Xanax and said they would calm me down and they did. The6 don’t have any after effects either. I have tried other benzos, including lorazepam, and Xanax is the best. Iv3 also had some Valium when I was going to be stuck inside a tube having an MRI for a long time.
 
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You should try see a psychiatrist for this!
Where I work we do exposure therapy in groups. I did it as part of my training myself. I am terrified of take off. So for my exposure therapy I had to watch loads of videos on repeat of planes taking off. Then I had to go to the airport and watch them take off! For me it helped but I'm still a nervous wreck on them so I take a tiny dose of valium and honestly I put on the star wars theme song and pretend I'm flying with Han Solo lol.

Due to my profession I can't really take a high dose of valium incase of an emergency on board but my little 2.5 one works grand. I'll 'top up' if its a long haul flight!

Take a high dose of valium if you like just consult with your GP. They do work and I'd rather having a tablet in my pocket that I know will do the trick instead of worrying.
 
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I'm an extremely nervous flyer too, I can still hardly cope with flying but I have learnt a few tips which help me calm and prevents my panic attacks.

Firstly, keep headphones on with very loud music/podcasts at all times. I panic with any change in noise as well and that helps as I don't notice any changes. It sounds weird but i also try and keep my feet slightly off the floor or reduce the pressure as I'm less sensitive to the vibrations/bumps etc.

Try and limit how much you look around and just concentrate on your phone/screen/any activities you have. I combine music/podcasts with more active activities like writing and phone games etc to keep me as distracted as possible. I used to get paranoid looking around the plane and convinced myself I noticed "the wings don't look right" "the engine's broken". In my most recent flight I didn't let myself do this and just kept my eyes closed or on my phone. It definitely helped me relax and limit those irrational panicky moments.

Similary, try not to look around any at other passengers. I used to constantly watch other people to see if they looked worried as well. Once I convinced myself that two/three other passengers had noticed something was wrong as they had confused faces and within 30 seconds I was having a full on panic attack.

If you need something to look at or if you feel particularly anxious I 100% recommend watching the flight attendants. They are so so used to doing this sometimes multiple times a day. It's genuinely reassuring to see them hardly bat an eyelid and continue serving drinks/food etc during mild turbulence. Sounds weird but just watching them so calm in their routines really helps me. Especially during turbulence. I think about how many times they've done this and that it's so normal for them and they're not scared so I shouldn't be.

I prefer to sit on the aisle seat so I have a better view of the flight attendants and it stops me looking at wings/engine convinced something "doesn't look right". Also might help with heights.

Time the flight on your phone/watch as you take off and break it into intervals. I always think things lile "ok I've done 20 minutes so I only have to do that three more times" "half an hour done, once I do that again It will be halfway" etc.

Similar my first couple of tips but I keep my headphones on and try and pay as little attention as I can around the airport. Otherwise I start getting panicky and think things look suspicious (when they don't!!)

I regularly look at the website flightradar24, especially in the days coming up to the flight. It shows you all the flights that sre in the air at that moment and you can track their movements. It really reinforces to me just how many flights there are in the world and how 'normal' flying is. Sometimes it's just interesting/fun looking at the different plane routes as well. I look at it right until we have to turn off our phones before take off and think there are 1000s of flights up there, nothing will happen to mine.


I try and remember how trained and knowledgeable pilots are. What also helps me is I think about how pilots are normal humans with family and friends who want to go home to their loved ones. So they will do everything possible to keep themselves as well as us safe. If that makes sense. It helps me get over the lack of control/reliance on others.


(Sorry for the overload! Hope it makes sense, I'm tired but can't sleep!)
 
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Don't sit near the back as any turbulence feels worse than it actually is, and agree with post about really good noise cancelling headphones :)
 
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I wondered if anybody had anything that actually worked for them?
I thought the more I flew the more relaxed I would be, but it actually is going the opposite way!
I’m scared of heights, hate the thought I’m so out of control, any noise or bumps starts me getting stressed, turbulence just makes me want to cry.
I love going abroad but even now for a September/October holiday I’m getting worked up thinking about it!
also family/friends live long haul abroad so it’s unavoidable too!
Helppppppppp!
I’d say something milder/less addictive than Xanax. There really is no point in having to suffer through the whole thing and if it’s only flying then therapy might not be effective enough and there is no real way to test it other than flying.
also noise cancelling headphones and a good playlist/download stuff from Netflix or listen to an audio book. The other thing I noticed on myself: thr breezier the airport experience is, the more relaxed I am on the flight. Also overnight flights + sleeping tablets can be an option depending on how long your flight is.
 
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Thanks so much for all of the advise!
I do always try and keep headphones on, but the last few years has meant having my son with me too, I’m sure I feel more pressure as I don’t want him to see that I’m scared either.
I try and pass all care of him onto my partner, who doesn't bat an eyelid on a plane but my son is such a mummy’s boy he always wants me 😂
I think I’m going to have a look into some of the options here, as long as my partner is flying with me then I’m thinking taking something is definitely an option! Xx
 
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My mum did a fear of flying course but she’s still scared of flying, not scared enough to stop her going on holiday 3 times a year though 😂
She always sits in the middle of the plane, not at the window and has music on her earphones. She gets diazepam from the doctors too. She is getting better the more she flys
 
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Thanks so much for all of the advise!
I do always try and keep headphones on, but the last few years has meant having my son with me too, I’m sure I feel more pressure as I don’t want him to see that I’m scared either.
I try and pass all care of him onto my partner, who doesn't bat an eyelid on a plane but my son is such a mummy’s boy he always wants me 😂
I think I’m going to have a look into some of the options here, as long as my partner is flying with me then I’m thinking taking something is definitely an option! Xx
This might end up being the unpopular opinion here but maybe some flights with your partner only so you can trial some methods to reduce your anxiety? Having extra responsibilities will only put more pressure on you and having to hold it together
 
Maybe think of some games to play with your son in that case might take your mind of things,

I absolutely loved flying untill I became a mother, then my first flight with my son he was 5 I was terrified and hated every second, he's 14 now and I'm still the same haha strange how motherhood effects you in ways you never think of!
 
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I’ve hated flying my entire life, I couldnt use headphones because I felt like I couldn’t hear what was going on, struggled to read etc as I was panicking the entire time. I would throw up in the airport before the flight, not be able to sleep it was awful 😩

The only thing that worked for me in the end was a mixture of therapy where I learned breathing/calming techniques (I got this on the NHS as I was diagonosed with generalised anxiety disorder & flying was just one of many things) I also get tablets from the doctors that calm me down & they work really really well. I’d go speak to your doctor they were a lot more understanding than I thought they would be & now any time I’m going to fly I just ask for the tablets before & I get them.

also I agree with the poster above, sitting away from the window seems to help me & I find watching the air hostesses helps.Unless they seem panicked then there’s no reason for me to be
 
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I know an air hostess and once she was describing to us that turbulence is just the equivalent of a car tyre going over a pot hole :) I know it really doesn’t feel that was when you experience it but it might help just to keep telling yourself that!
 
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Easy Jet do a course for nervous flyers, I’ve no idea what it costs but might be worth doing to get over your fear??
 
I developed a fear after having my children , at one time it took me three days to book a holiday because I knew once I pressed ‘confirm’ there was no going back and we were definitely getting on that plane!

These days I get trollied at the bar and on the plane, not enough to pass out of course, sorry I know that’s not helpful for your son😉.

I do keep an eye on the cabin crew and see how relaxed they are and also take comfort that I’ve never been on a flight that’s been problematic in the slightest. I also won’t fly long haul these days because that’s guaranteed to send me over the edge.