The psychology of instagram

[cutethings]

I feel that instagram has made me question my friendships as well. I post pictures all the time and my friends ghost them, despite me constantly liking and commenting on theirs... makes me feel like tit when I see tons of comments on theirs telling them they're so hot yet when I post a going out pic ... nothing

I know this doesn't mean crap and people always tell me not to care but honestly, people are on their phones all the time and clearly could easily just boost their friends confidence if they wanted you know ? So it makes me feel like crap

Saying that , I post long captions on insta and dont give a crap. I actually would rather read someone's thoughts under a photo than a fake short caption like shows no personality at all. Mine are never advice captions or ones that are trying to sound woke or whatever they're just my thoughts for the day and I suppose maybe people find it conceited or arrogant then ? I never considered this this is maybe why no one likes my posts. But at the same time I comment on all my friends posts regardless of what it is

It's just kinda sad when you all go on a girls night out and everyone has comments from each other like saying how pretty they looked and mine has none, to outsiders of our friend group it must look really strange as if I'm disliked a lot

Ah this is why instagram sucks

 

[Itsallaboutmememe]

I was once sat with my son his girlfriend his mate and my boyfriend in a cafe
we where all sat watching 3/4 girls squealing about ‘getting the best light/angle’ for a picture of their food
20 minutes later they seemed to have the picture for the gram
they then tried to send it back cos ‘it’s cold’
course it was!
we timed you and you took around 20 minutes just to take one poxy photo!
the owner (thankfully) tore them a new one and they did eat their stone cold food-in which time we’d eaten our hot food and it was lovely but what a waste if the owner had caved and made them a new dish each
if that’s the amount of effort that goes into one photo I’m glad I can just eat mine with no fuss

 

[chocolate choux]

I’ve never been a big social media user because it all seems so fake. I remember back in high school over a decade ago, my friends would have Facebook accounts and would speak to other people from school in comments as if they were best friends when irl they rarely interacted. Always found this so weird so I kept my own social media minimal and some of it anonymous (tumblr, Instagram)

I do think Instagram (etc) doesn’t have to be such a fake and negatively competitive environment. I created my anonymous Instagram to be part of the debt free/frugal community and it’s amazing and uplifting. Everyone is friendly and willing to help others out, we all share tips and freebies etc. Of course there’s some people sharing discount codes that benefit them too but most people are open about this and also post about stuff they don’t get anything from sharing. It’s refreshing to be part of something that’s about cheering each other on and offering support in what is often such a toxic environment

I do take social media in general with a massive pile of salt though. From an early stage I realised how fake it all was which has helped, but it's still difficult not to get sucked in at times. It’s a mindfuck because in the past it wasn’t as easy to curate a certain image, but these days someone can give the impression that they’re a very specific person online and if they’re particularly good at it most people will believe what they’re portraying

I know someone who has a toxic relationship (on both sides) with her boyfriend, but if I didn’t know her irl and had to judge only from her social media I’d be thinking they were the perfect couple. They only post selfies while doing something exciting so it makes their lives look cool, and they’ve been Facebook official for years yet their status obviously doesn’t show every time they’ve changed it back to single over those years, and so on. This woman is just an average person without any social media expertise or any advisors, so it’s scary to think what the bigger accounts could be hiding. No wonder social media is making people miserable

 

[Dogleggedhat]

I feel that instagram has made me question my friendships as well. I post pictures all the time and my friends ghost them, despite me constantly liking and commenting on theirs... makes me feel like tit when I see tons of comments on theirs telling them they're so hot yet when I post a going out pic ... nothing

I know this doesn't mean crap and people always tell me not to care but honestly, people are on their phones all the time and clearly could easily just boost their friends confidence if they wanted you know ? So it makes me feel like crap

Saying that , I post long captions on insta and dont give a crap. I actually would rather read someone's thoughts under a photo than a fake short caption like shows no personality at all. Mine are never advice captions or ones that are trying to sound woke or whatever they're just my thoughts for the day and I suppose maybe people find it conceited or arrogant then ? I never considered this this is maybe why no one likes my posts. But at the same time I comment on all my friends posts regardless of what it is

It's just kinda sad when you all go on a girls night out and everyone has comments from each other like saying how pretty they looked and mine has none, to outsiders of our friend group it must look really strange as if I'm disliked a lot

Ah this is why instagram sucks

This post made me feel sad. Are you happy with the friendships irl? I am odd and don’t like following/being followed by friends and people I know irl as I find it more triggering if I see them doing something that looks great versus seeing a random stranger doing it. It does take two seconds to double tap a picture though which I would always do with someone I know-just as a little ‘hey,I see you’-often times I would comment as well

 

[MaeveWiley]

I'm off SM 4 months now and I feel like a new person. I always encourage all my patients in work to come off it.

I was at a gig tonight with my sister. And a 14/15 year old was crying throughout the whole feicin thing and everytime proper tears arrived she would film herself crying/singing along and I was like... great. We're all guinea pigs with social media... Vanity and self obsession is not a good thing and imagine how all these kids are going to turn out...

 

[Horatio]

Right? It’s mad that kids today don’t know a word without it. Teenagers, even, probably don’t remember anything else. I pity them. School social hierarchies and cliques were bad enough when I was navigating them 00-07 (so we did have MySpace but it wasn’t huge and the people that had that used it to speak to others online, not people at school and for music. Then the last year or two everyone was on bebo and eventually Facebook but none of that really had much of an impact, it was too early)
From the ages of 11 to about 14 I was desperate to be popular to an embarrassing degree. I know for certain that seeing pictures of the actual ‘cool ‘ people hanging out would have made me more unhappy and obsessed with popularity than I already was. I hope any theoretical kid of mine would be more sensible,and happier,but damn, it must be hard.

As for Instagram itself, I wonder how different it would be if you couldn’t make any money from it? I know regular posting and rambling hashtag filled captions are good for engagement but I feel like people would still be addicted to the approval and fuelling their narcissistic urges. I’ll be honest though, I’m fully aware how gross influencer culture is but given the opportunity to do a brand deal and earn a few k out just by uploading to Instagram I’d do it in an instant. I would never want it to be my job, but I’m not going to say no to easy money. I’d never try to get big on there though, not only because it’s too late to get noticed now, but because I find all the self promotion so embarrassing. But in a hypothetical sense, I would do a brand deal in an instant.

I like Instagram for keeping in touch with a few old friends and family and seeing what they are doing. I like following the lives of celebrities I should know better for. Memes, of course. And most of all I like the really niche interests stuff. I follow this Iranian account that just posts pictures of Samuel Beckett (one of my favourite writers) with comments in Farsi written on them I don’t understand and can’t translate (directly on the pictures so I can’t copy and paste)
It’s great. But overall if I could obliterate all social media from ever existing right now I probably would. I mean, my boyfriend is from
New York, where we met , and I’m from London and without Facebook and Skype we never would have been able to keep in touch in the early years, so if I obliterated it we probably wouldn’t be together...oh well. Still doing it.

 

[Fin]

I literally cannot be arsed with Instagram and wouldn't even dream about buying anything some so called celebrity was punting on there when we all know they got it for free and it's actually tit. I just don't get people putting their whole life on Insta for the world to see, not to mention the narcissism that abounds on there. I'm glad I got through my teens and 20's without social media being a big thing like it is today. One of our offspring asked us how we amused ourselves before social media and smartphones. Sad but true. Funnily enough last year he and his girlfriend were with us in the outback in Australia, we had zero 4G or WiFi and we had a bloody great laugh having a few drinks and playing board games.

 

[Rosiepie]

The problem with Instagram is how it has allowed people to partner up with brands and make money from it. So accounts and posts have changed over time. Where they would once be original and interesting to follow, they become staged and full of affiliate links, ads etc. Photos become staged and some families use their kids to help sell products. They will do anything for engagement - it’s all about becoming popular and noticed so that brands approach them. Some have even recruited the help from PR agencies, and request free stuff from companies on Twitter! People stoop so low in order to gain recognition. Most of the accounts I have followed are already very wealthy, but the greed is on an all time high. Instagram feeds these people’s egos too - it’s like an addiction, they require constant validation. It’s really not good for mental health issues.

 

[Fin]

The problem with Instagram is how it has allowed people to partner up with brands and make money from it. So accounts and posts have changed over time. Where they would once be original and interesting to follow, they become staged and full of affiliate links, ads etc. Photos become staged and some families use their kids to help sell products. They will do anything for engagement - it’s all about becoming popular and noticed so that brands approach them. Some have even recruited the help from PR agencies, and request free stuff from companies on Twitter! People stoop so low in order to gain recognition. Most of the accounts I have followed are already very wealthy, but the greed is on an all time high. Instagram feeds these people’s egos too - it’s like an addiction, they require constant validation. It’s really not good for mental health issues.

Very well said Rosiepie, sums it up perfectly. I know someone who was approached by numerous brands on Twitter after one of their totally innocuous tweets went viral. They didn't take up any of the offers.

 

[Rosiepie]

I think that Tattle has allowed people to question the validity of certain accounts and that is needed. You can question on this platform without getting blocked. You can talk quite openly about the issues surrounding social media and we do need that. Certain ‘influencers’ will call people On Tattle ‘trolls’ or ‘pond scum’, but they don’t like what is being openly discussed. They don’t want their ‘audiences’ to read it, because it would portray them in a different light. Social media can be good, and can work well when it’s authentic, but when it’s faked it’s horrible, especially when it is done to make money. People are portraying their lives as ‘perfect’, and that’s simply not reality. They ‘influence’ others to envy their lives, to ‘buy’ in to everything they say or post. When they say they are ‘influencers’ you can’t really trust them because they are getting ‘paid’ to promote a brand. They become salespeople who influence others to buy. They rely on the psychology of people comparing themselves, and feeling inadequate if they don’t buy the latest product that influencers are talking about. It’s all a bit sad to be honest.i can’t see it changing yet - too many people are jumping on the bandwagon and trying to make a full time job from it, and whilst brands continue paying, this merry go round of consumerism, vanity and greed will continue.

 

[Ohmydays]

I think that Tattle has allowed people to question the validity of certain accounts and that is needed. You can question on this platform without getting blocked. You can talk quite openly about the issues surrounding social media and we do need that. Certain ‘influencers’ will call people On Tattle ‘trolls’ or ‘pond scum’, but they don’t like what is being openly discussed. They don’t want their ‘audiences’ to read it, because it would portray them in a different light. Social media can be good, and can work well when it’s authentic, but when it’s faked it’s horrible, especially when it is done to make money. People are portraying their lives as ‘perfect’, and that’s simply not reality. They ‘influence’ others to envy their lives, to ‘buy’ in to everything they say or post. When they say they are ‘influencers’ you can’t really trust them because they are getting ‘paid’ to promote a brand. They become salespeople who influence others to buy. They rely on the psychology of people comparing themselves, and feeling inadequate if they don’t buy the latest product that influencers are talking about. It’s all a bit sad to be honest.i can’t see it changing yet - too many people are jumping on the bandwagon and trying to make a full time job from it, and whilst brands continue paying, this merry go round of consumerism, vanity and greed will continue.

Rattles my cage when all you see is positive comments by followers ie..
You’re such a lovely person.
You’re so honest .
You’re the best couple .
You’re such a good Mum ..
Etc etc
These followers have probably never met these people .
I’m beginning to seek out the ‘fake / liars’ There’s never a comment that disagrees with them ..
In the ‘real’ world you are not everyone’s cup of tea .. so why build this ‘fake world ‘ where all you want is to ‘believe’ you are perfect and THE BEST and for people to constantly fawn over you .
I agree it’s very sad and bad for Mental Health .

 

[Miss98]

I know someone who has a toxic relationship (on both sides) with her boyfriend, but if I didn’t know her irl and had to judge only from her social media I’d be thinking they were the perfect couple. They only post selfies while doing something exciting so it makes their lives look cool, and they’ve been Facebook official for years yet their status obviously doesn’t show every time they’ve changed it back to single over those years, and so on. This woman is just an average person without any social media expertise or any advisors, so it’s scary to think what the bigger accounts could be hiding. No wonder social media is making people miserable

I think sadly that's very common, couples posting how amazing their relationships are when they are having domestics or rows every 5 minutes and probably did 5 minutes before the pic they put up. People (especially relationship wise) tend to air too much dirty laundry about each other, paticularly women on their boyfriends or exes and the constant on and off relationships, it can get so toxic. Especially knowing that there's children growing up around an environment where mum and dad are constantly arguing then in some Mr and Mrs Smith scene next back on a moment later. The couples who seem to post so publically are the ones who seem to be so unhappy, it seems.

 

[slugella]

I use instagram, don't have a big following at all and genuinely am not bothered by likes - I post very rarely, and its usually a nature type shot if I'm on a walk or something.

I unfollowed all celebrities a while ago and felt so much better for it. Seeing people looking stunning and living a protrayed "dream life" just didn't add anything to my life and I think was quite damaging. Also unfollowed all influencers as there are none I genuinely like these days so why should I contribute to their following.

I work in conservation so my feed is now mostly following wildlife bloggers and journalists etc.

I do still follow people I know in real life but I'm considering starting a new account and deleting my old one and just making it nature focused.

I have travelled a lot and relocated a lot for jobs and I'm noticing now how I feel so lonely from it. I don't regret it as I've had amazing opportunities through it, but it makes me so sad seeing old groups of friends remain close and me feeling left out and that I don't have that core group. Friendship is something I value so now I feel like I've somehow done it all wrong. And these feelings mostly come from social media, back in the day you never would have had such an insight into everything you miss out on.

I was considering starting a thread about friendship as it's been on my mind a lot lately and not something I've spoken to anyone irl about.

 

[chocolate choux]

I think sadly that's very common, couples posting how amazing their relationships are when they are having domestics or rows every 5 minutes and probably did 5 minutes before the pic they put up. People (especially relationship wise) tend to air too much dirty laundry about each other, paticularly women on their boyfriends or exes and the constant on and off relationships, it can get so toxic. Especially knowing that there's children growing up around an environment where mum and dad are constantly arguing then in some Mr and Mrs Smith scene next back on a moment later. The couples who seem to post so publically are the ones who seem to be so unhappy, it seems.

That’s true, I think the main concern is young/impressionable people seeing toxic relationships and emulating them, or seeing ‘perfect’ relationships and feeling like their own relationship isn’t good enough because they have (a healthy amount of) disagreements and differences. I agree that this will be damaging to any children who are personally involved. I grew up with family members who were stuck in abusive relationships and witnessed how one minute horrific things were happening yet the next minute they were the acting like newlyweds. It would’ve been even more confusing if social media was involved and I really feel for any children who’s parents are in a toxic relationship, yet everyone thinks they’re the perfect couple due to their ability to portray themselves that way on social media (or everyone knows every detail of their dirty laundry)

 

[Rosiepie]

I use instagram, don't have a big following at all and genuinely am not bothered by likes - I post very rarely, and its usually a nature type shot if I'm on a walk or something.

I unfollowed all celebrities a while ago and felt so much better for it. Seeing people looking stunning and living a protrayed "dream life" just didn't add anything to my life and I think was quite damaging. Also unfollowed all influencers as there are none I genuinely like these days so why should I contribute to their following.

I work in conservation so my feed is now mostly following wildlife bloggers and journalists etc.

I do still follow people I know in real life but I'm considering starting a new account and deleting my old one and just making it nature focused.

I have travelled a lot and relocated a lot for jobs and I'm noticing now how I feel so lonely from it. I don't regret it as I've had amazing opportunities through it, but it makes me so sad seeing old groups of friends remain close and me feeling left out and that I don't have that core group. Friendship is something I value so now I feel like I've somehow done it all wrong. And these feelings mostly come from social media, back in the day you never would have had such an insight into everything you miss out on.

I was considering starting a thread about friendship as it's been on my mind a lot lately and not something I've spoken to anyone irl about.

You should start a thread on friendship and loneliness - I think that would be a very positive thing to do, and make you realise you are not alone, others will feel the same way. Social media can make people feel so lonely, despite being connected 24hrs. You can’t beat meeting someone who genuinely puts a smile on your face, or having a phone conversation, and receiving a real hug not an emoji. Real, genuine interactions make you feel human.

 

[tell no lies]

In an originald

I think sadly that's very common, couples posting how amazing their relationships are when they are having domestics or rows every 5 minutes and probably did 5 minutes before the pic they put up. People (especially relationship wise) tend to air too much dirty laundry about each other, paticularly women on their boyfriends or exes and the constant on and off relationships, it can get so toxic. Especially knowing that there's children growing up around an environment where mum and dad are constantly arguing then in some Mr and Mrs Smith scene next back on a moment later. The couples who seem to post so publically are the ones who seem to be so unhappy, it seems.

I know a top influencer, she's married , THEY portray themselves on Instagram as The most loved up romantic couple ... Her followers are in awe of him now before they didn't know he existed But recently ONE of them had an affair !!!!

 

[Ohmydays]

You should start a thread on friendship and loneliness - I think that would be a very positive thing to do, and make you realise you are not alone, others will feel the same way. Social media can make people feel so lonely, despite being connected 24hrs. You can’t beat meeting someone who genuinely puts a smile on your face, or having a phone conversation, and receiving a real hug not an emoji. Real, genuine interactions make you feel human.

How do you find a thread ? I do a search on who I’m interested in but it doesn’t show me a thread !!

 

[Rosiepie]

I’ve just found a thread called loneliness/ making friends but unsure how to link it.

 

[slugella]

@Ohmydays There's one here : https://tattle.life/threads/loneliness-making-friends.4234/