CheekyChappy
Active member
Goes great with a burger for your tea.
- Notice
Hold my gin
New member
I’ve not posted here before but I just couldn’t resist the challenge
vhopper2000
Well-known member
COPPA sure did ketchup with them
CheekyChappy
Active member
Potential sponsor? 
JustHereForTheAgriculture
VIP Member
Now that we’re into the new year and everyone’s getting back to normal, but probably still feeling the pinch from Christmas and facing a new decade of environmental uncertainty, I thought I would offer up a few tips to help you save money as well as some tips to help us all do our bit for the environment.
Money and Environment saving tips by The Ingham Family©
1. Winter is a hard time to get washing dry. Running a dryer is expensive and consumes a lot of power. Reduce this by throwing away joovet covers and replacing them with new rather than washing them. You can also cut down on the number of towels (dropped or otherwise) you use by not bathing regularly.
2. Socialising can be expensive. Cut the cost by being a dick and having no friends to invite you out.
You may have to occasionally attend a lunch with your mother in law and her friends to keep up appearances but you should be able to guilt her into paying for you.
3. Save on eating out by asking your parents along to meals and letting them foot the bill.
4. Bypass costly dog food by letting your pooch survive off whatever food your baby flings to the floor during meal times.
5. Save on cleaning products by never cleaning your house.
6. Own brand alcohol not cutting it? Brand name too pricey? Simply cancel your children’s swimming and dance lessons and use the saved money to keep the fridge stocked #BaileysTuesday
7. Instead of buying nice things you actually want, go to the pound shop and buy a load of much cheaper crap that won’t be used and will clutter the place until it meets its final end in the garage of doom or fly tipped over the back fence.
8. Eating meat is having a detrimental affect on the environment. Do your part by going vegetarian and making your family follow suit. About three days should do it. Just make sure you provide nutritious substitutes for the meat like cookies and pizza.
(Unless during this three day vegetarian diet you want a burger for your tea. In which case, av a burger for your tea)
Money and Environment saving tips by The Ingham Family©
1. Winter is a hard time to get washing dry. Running a dryer is expensive and consumes a lot of power. Reduce this by throwing away joovet covers and replacing them with new rather than washing them. You can also cut down on the number of towels (dropped or otherwise) you use by not bathing regularly.
2. Socialising can be expensive. Cut the cost by being a dick and having no friends to invite you out.
You may have to occasionally attend a lunch with your mother in law and her friends to keep up appearances but you should be able to guilt her into paying for you.
3. Save on eating out by asking your parents along to meals and letting them foot the bill.
4. Bypass costly dog food by letting your pooch survive off whatever food your baby flings to the floor during meal times.
5. Save on cleaning products by never cleaning your house.
6. Own brand alcohol not cutting it? Brand name too pricey? Simply cancel your children’s swimming and dance lessons and use the saved money to keep the fridge stocked #BaileysTuesday
7. Instead of buying nice things you actually want, go to the pound shop and buy a load of much cheaper crap that won’t be used and will clutter the place until it meets its final end in the garage of doom or fly tipped over the back fence.
8. Eating meat is having a detrimental affect on the environment. Do your part by going vegetarian and making your family follow suit. About three days should do it. Just make sure you provide nutritious substitutes for the meat like cookies and pizza.
(Unless during this three day vegetarian diet you want a burger for your tea. In which case, av a burger for your tea)
Circlish
VIP Member
"I used to be 15. Chris actually prefers it!"
I love a good #rootswatch
JustHereForTheAgriculture
VIP Member
For anyone wondering what Creepy is fishing for here..
Whatever it is, I don’t quite know but I’ve got an exclusive on how big it is
Whatever it is, I don’t quite know but I’ve got an exclusive on how big it is
CheekyChappy
Active member
On behalf of the good people of Scotland
String Man
VIP Member
I thought I'd join the fandom/edit crew and do an Ingham imaginary story.
Setting the scene: It's the traditional Christmas family get together at the Ingham household. The Seacroft Strangler (Katrina) has been invited.
Episode1:
A young Sarah Dixon is having serious regrets about having invited her fun-loving sister to the Christmas party at Chez Ingham. Chris has had a couple of cheeky Babychams and a toke on Katrina's Marlboro Light - he's now off his tits.
"Did I pick the right brother?" Sarah mused, gazing at the chiselled jaw and elasticated hairband of Dave 'Shirley' Ingham. He was so close that Sarah could detect the sensuous aroma of Lynx Africa. "He's a real live rockstar" she thought to herself "he's even played morning assembly at the local secondary school".
Sarah had long been torn between the two Ingham brothers. Dave was a manly rock god who could teach her a thing or two about contouring and how to style a bandana. Chris was the ET-fingered enfant celebre of West Yorkshire - a mathematician/pilot/doctor/UFO expert/skaterboi with offers from universities across the globe.
Her reverie was broken by Hi Steve calling out "Who wants to play a game called Squirty Cream Pie?". Zelda cackled and hobbled over to join in, putting her Mary Shortle voodoo dolls away for later. Those dolls creeped Sarah out, especially the new one with 80's highlights. Sarah nervously adjusted her fringe over the mysterious bald patch she'd woken up with yesterday morning.
While Zelda and Hi Steve were getting the cream from the fridge Sarah quickly checked the name imprinted on the new doll. Eyes darting towards the kitchen in case Zelda returned, she could hardly bear to look ... could it be ... would it be ... Oh, it's okay it's called "Adolf". Breathing a sigh of relief Sarah put the doll back and went to find Chris and Katrina, last spotted heading for the toilet.
Setting the scene: It's the traditional Christmas family get together at the Ingham household. The Seacroft Strangler (Katrina) has been invited.
Episode1:
A young Sarah Dixon is having serious regrets about having invited her fun-loving sister to the Christmas party at Chez Ingham. Chris has had a couple of cheeky Babychams and a toke on Katrina's Marlboro Light - he's now off his tits.
"Did I pick the right brother?" Sarah mused, gazing at the chiselled jaw and elasticated hairband of Dave 'Shirley' Ingham. He was so close that Sarah could detect the sensuous aroma of Lynx Africa. "He's a real live rockstar" she thought to herself "he's even played morning assembly at the local secondary school".
Sarah had long been torn between the two Ingham brothers. Dave was a manly rock god who could teach her a thing or two about contouring and how to style a bandana. Chris was the ET-fingered enfant celebre of West Yorkshire - a mathematician/pilot/doctor/UFO expert/skaterboi with offers from universities across the globe.
Her reverie was broken by Hi Steve calling out "Who wants to play a game called Squirty Cream Pie?". Zelda cackled and hobbled over to join in, putting her Mary Shortle voodoo dolls away for later. Those dolls creeped Sarah out, especially the new one with 80's highlights. Sarah nervously adjusted her fringe over the mysterious bald patch she'd woken up with yesterday morning.
While Zelda and Hi Steve were getting the cream from the fridge Sarah quickly checked the name imprinted on the new doll. Eyes darting towards the kitchen in case Zelda returned, she could hardly bear to look ... could it be ... would it be ... Oh, it's okay it's called "Adolf". Breathing a sigh of relief Sarah put the doll back and went to find Chris and Katrina, last spotted heading for the toilet.
Ghost82
Chatty Member
You seriously can’t make it up. One day of Coppa rules and Chris and Sarah are trying to pretend that the taxi driver thought they had a vibrator buzzing away in their luggage. 
These idiots are hosting a dolly tea party for the kiddie ifam at shitty shortles doll shop and yet they are trying to convince people that they have an older audience. Nobody is buying it you pair of shits! The fact they even included that shows what a pair of desperate ‘ignorants’ they are. They‘ve spent the last three years trying to appeal to kids and one sniff of their income dropping and they are making up shit about a toothbrush being mistaken for a sex toy. How low will these idiots sink? They know kids are watching.
I also noticed they dropped hints about having another two babies. Seriously? Isabelle looks like she can barely cope with looking after Jace most of the time and now they’re trying to add another two more for her to look after. How desperate can these people get?
Come back tomorrow when Chris chases Sarah around the kitchen with the turkey baster they used to get pregnant with Jace. #CoppaLoadOfTheDesperation
These idiots are hosting a dolly tea party for the kiddie ifam at shitty shortles doll shop and yet they are trying to convince people that they have an older audience. Nobody is buying it you pair of shits! The fact they even included that shows what a pair of desperate ‘ignorants’ they are. They‘ve spent the last three years trying to appeal to kids and one sniff of their income dropping and they are making up shit about a toothbrush being mistaken for a sex toy. How low will these idiots sink? They know kids are watching. I also noticed they dropped hints about having another two babies. Seriously? Isabelle looks like she can barely cope with looking after Jace most of the time and now they’re trying to add another two more for her to look after. How desperate can these people get?
Come back tomorrow when Chris chases Sarah around the kitchen with the turkey baster they used to get pregnant with Jace.
#CoppaLoadOfTheDesperationI thought exactly the same. I feel sorry for the inner and outer corners of her lids - abandoned like a baby on a beach!!!
Malcolm Conkers
VIP Member
Is it possible Sarah has overheard the driver saying something along the lines of 'a big dildo in the back seat' and mistakenly assumed he meant the toothbrush, rather than her husband?
John (from John & Louise)
New member
Hey everybody! Just found this site this morning, after a really friendly family we met in Edinburgh recommended it - actually, maybe *recommended* isn’t the right word, but they wouldn’t shut up about you guys, so I thought I’d come and have a butchers! The dad was a bit of a boy - we had a right laugh, but that’s another story!
edit - not sure how it works for ‘newbies’ on here, but I’m up for an ‘Ask Me Anything’?
edit - not sure how it works for ‘newbies’ on here, but I’m up for an ‘Ask Me Anything’?
Last edited:
John (from John & Louise)
New member
Hey, don’t tell anyone, but I didn’t have a f&@king clue who they were! Neither did Lou. To be honest, we’d been drinking since mid-morning in an all day karaoke, and were in a pretty bad way. Lou lost her purse after a scuffle in the charity shop, half-pissed, so when they out-of-the-blue offered us the taxi money just for a couple of photos - winner winner, chicken dinnerFabulous to meet you Johnwe were so worried that the Inghams only appealed to kids- so it’s great to hear that they have a solid adult following... of 2 people. Woohoooo!
We didn’t follow them, they went to get a burger I think, and we just got a taxi back, but that’s another story
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WhittlingIhopMonkey
VIP Member
New thread title lol!