The Chateau Diaries #48 No longer Doing It himself. Just doing everyone else

[OneMoonbeam]

New thread titles...
1. The Tango Chateau is on fire but the water hoses are dry...
2. Too many cooks in the Chateau kitchen, who's leaving next?
3. How many grifters can 1 Chateau hold?

 

[Clara Burnett]

SJ is just as sick of dealing with FRK as we are? Good !
Liability as in she's probably in the middle of drama more than we realize. There's certainly been drama in dealing with her before. It's not a coincidence that Kat is there and FRK leaves, then FRK threatens to come back by xyz date and Kat announces she's going back to the UK

Full disclosure: it was also Snorty Snort who really pushed for FRK to be excited. He could not handle her grumpiness and she wasn't willing to adore him in his role of Lord of the HMN. Which is why FRK announced she'd be back for his birthday, as a warning she's not done yet.

 

[Golly]

Who is frk

 

[BlackWolf]

Who is frk

Marie the florist: frk = floral road kill

 

[Seeingitasitis]

Oh, she is. She's keeping score about what people are saying here and as soon as we talk about somebody here she warns them, so they can be as outraged about our cruel jealous tattlers. She and Snorts are having a blast reading about the him being gay comments, which they think are just hilarious and easy to feed with snapshots for new story lines in the vlogs, like the one where he's wearing that apron, pretending he's helping by doing the dishes. It's their favorite thing to talk about when the camera's are off and they can plot their schemes.

I know there are doubters. I am not one of them. They are a pair. And I totally believe you about Marie and Selmar.

 

[chillijam]

Just another comment on that God awful tango from Selmar and Fanny, I can't believe how two people can make what is usually such a sensual dance, so utterly sexless.

 

[Mummy Dearest]

We had already established she's a hooker, vulgar is just an extra adjective to clarify what kind.

As my dear old dad would say, “look at this puttana”.

 

[ploppityplop2]

Another wacko pronunciation from Fanny on today's flog... 'Mary' Celeste!!
Not even her usual Mah-rrhhie, but good ole Mary from the dairy

That is the correct way - the ship was called Mary Celeste although most people miss pronounce it as Marie

 

[Diesel]

You couldnt get that mower they have for 2500 pounds in France....its more like 10000 euros i think. and whats the big deal to replace a belt for 100 euros when she easily gives 700 euros for a rotten mirror...but her garden isnt her priority....she wants to let it shine out like that..discussing all that tit with Davy...that woman is a lunatic...and all those who believe her lunatic stories are even more mad..

The big deal is that it comes with a warranty for three years so if a part is broken, you get a replacement. Very normal procedure.

 

[Lieileen]

Another wacko pronunciation from Fanny on today's flog... 'Mary' Celeste!!
Not even her usual Mah-rrhhie, but good ole Mary from the dairy

That bothers me no end. Marie’s not even French.

 

[ploppityplop2]

I have to agree, tango is a sensuous dance, but what Steph did to it was vulgar.

The fact that Argentinian Nati won’t go near it says something

 

[MidCenturyMadOne]

Ahhh, now you’re talkin’...Van Morrison...doesn’t get any better than him. Decades of Genius. ...Too Long in Exile...Till we get the healing done...gets me every time...simply...completely, totally: Love Him.

Add me to the Van the Man club. Has soundtracked many a romantic moment in my life...

The issue with radiators is ludicrous. Before doing any renovations or adding any decor pieces, the radiators should be addressed. They are constantly an issue and look what happened this time. Dreadful. There must have been a better way to heat that place. As someone else stated, fixing the windows or replacing them should have been on the top of the list.


And it looks as though the work that was done recently or in the past several months to the ceiling and the beam will probably need repairing. If I have the right beam… It looks the same. How many times does she have to have a flood from a radiator before she does something about all of them.

She said in the comments that all the radiators above are being replaced at the moment. The problem was their age and they are rusting.

 

[Milre]

Am I nuts for thinking she needs to save some money? Rainy day fund? I can’t believe she’s running around spending money like crazy! How will she support herself in ten twenty years! She makes me nervous! She’s like a lotto winner who ends up bankrupt! Stupid just really stupid!

Oh, don't you know? It never rains at Lalande

I hope you can sleep tonight

Stephanie Jarvis: a Chatelaine, content creator and quiffer

Oh yes...i am gay you know..i have seen more worse things happen.. not easily shocked...

Sorry, I feel offended. You very often make it sound like heteros have no fun

 

[Dippy Hippy]

I could not stop laughing the way she lifted her leg to Selmar’s waist….. The dress could not have been much shorter or any shorter and I wonder what the front view of it looked like at the end when she had her leg lifted to his waist again… he must have loved it…..thank you SJ for entertaining me! I do wonder if that dress has been shortened….thought it was longer?

Its a dress from Zara, and it really is that length! It's from last season. I've seen teenage girls wearing it, you can get away with a lot when you're young. I tried it on myself and it was far too short and I'm 5'4.

 

[Milre]

Passive aggressive

And whilst I’m here...

Claus, next job for you, give the door a little sand down, prime & repaint... the state of the inside of it!

Almost as bad as the state of the kitchen cupboard pantry doors

Devil finds work for Porky mitts

Shes got all the expensive F&B, Little Greene... FFS FANNY, use it!!!

That's the trick to survive at Lalande : have a headstart and to something grand on your first day. At dinner time serve your own creation of a cocktail and then announce that you are an owl rather than a larc. This allows you to sleep in the rest of your stay.
Suggest to cook dinner and mess it up, but do it in a vlogable way and you are forgiven, but never have to cook again. Chose a favourite animal and start to collect it. Also dress in a "individual" way, but never look better than the châtelaine. Choose your allergy carefully because it means you won't be able to eat it in near future. Organise a themed party and have the right costumes coincidantly in your luggage. Bring your own hot glue and she will think you are a handyman. Bring an extra charging cable and she will think you are unreplaceable!

Full disclosure: it was also Snorty Snort who really pushed for FRK to be excited. He could not handle her grumpiness and she wasn't willing to adore him in his role of Lord of the HMN. Which is why FRK announced she'd be back for his birthday, as a warning she's not done yet.

I must admit Phil is a polite and well mannered boy and she is not. I can't blame him that he doesn't want to see her moody face any more in the kitchen.

 

[FishermansFriend]

I have been watching the chateau-verse unwind for some time and admiring the beggars and all their wonderful spin offs. One in particular is quite interesting and doesn’t fit the usual, poor me I own/want a Chateau but have no money schtick.

Dan the man. Dan who now has a master plan, Dan. Jack of all trades and master of none. To be honest, that’s most young Brits who move to France. That’s not being disrespectful.

His greatest strength is his belief in himself and that he’s an opportunist. He started vlogging a year ago on a potato and now fires out daily vlogs on a €2k camera. He’s the Casey Neistat of Rural France with more drone shots in one vid than unfinished projects at LaLaLand.

Whilst original cinematographer come graphic designer MPK has hit the self destruct button. Dan has reinvented himself as the hip, young trendy YouTuber in France’s fosse septic.

Fair play to him for grinding out these videos, probably editing them whilst listening to a Gary Vee TED talk.

My only worry for our man Dan is after crunching the numbers. Since 11th July he amassed 400k views vs Shatoo Diaries 600k. If he continues on this trajectory he will over take the hand that feeds. As we well know from our ego driven Oxbridge protagonist, this will not end well for Dan.

There is a reason why Downton Abbey was so popular. Everyone watching knew their roles, it was familiar to our working lives. You’re the boss. I’m the worker. It was also easy to follow. Upstairs. Downstairs. Now Dan is half way up the stairs. Which way will he go...?

As a side note, who is Marie going to interview next... Thor!? Give me a break. What is this pile of hot mess. It’s another ‘let’s do a podcast and interview our friends!’ Just call it that and be done. Ffs.

As the Chateau-verse continues to expand, Stephanie can’t keep up with the Patreon’s demands!

 

[CountessPompidoo]

Why do these two dance the tango like it were a funeral ritual?

View attachment 687047

And with shoes not matching her dress at all. What's that about ???? Plus, I'm sure that dress was alot longer in previous vlogs

 

[ComtesseRose]

her unprofessional approach, despite SJ's attempts to coach her, was tearing into the tit show's public conception (SJ's words).

Did they have a Survivor type ceremony and vote FRK off the château?
Messing up the timeline for La Jarvis, yeah, I could understand why that is a "liability".
Unprofessional Approach? Was that regarding her food, or her grifting?
SJ coach her? How? Did FRK finally scream at SJ to not tell her what to do?!
Tearing into the HMN public conception? Gurl, what public conception?
And Marie being ballsy enough to threaten to come back for BJJ's birthday. (You go Marie, they shouldn't tell you what to do!!!)

 

[CountessPompidoo]

I've been watching the series of Chicho Frumboli tango videos. He's dancing with Julia Sepulveda, who wears almost completely backless dresses which are slit up to her hip. Nothing she does (much more athletically) with her legs is as vulgar, or looks as vulgar in her much more revealing costume, than what Jarvis does, and looks like, in her very ill-judged, stiff, body dysmorphic mini dress. Grade F, really shockingly gross. No wonder the dirty old man on the couch was filming upskirt. Somehow you see way less and way more of Sepulveda, in her lovely flowing or draping split skirts and twinkling sandals. Chicho has glittery loafers in one set.

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=chicho+frumboli

Supulveda is pure class. Alas, SJ is not, but clearly thinks she is

 

[sandro37]

O lord i e seen the tango
Not commenting on technique nor acted passion
But Sj just cannot help and perform for people regardless how bad it is, wonder if the intention is to cover up the bad technique with the miniskirt and make sure that she gets the applousr anyway, but that outfit is just wrong for tango as the shoes are, she cannot possibly lift the heels without the shoes getting off (most of the time the heels is lifted and tilted but well)
She is performing for the old couple where the old guy is mesmerized by her legs and the old lady thibks it is cute...
And SJ is able to kill the second bird (selmar) by giving him a glance what he once wanted

In this example one can understand her life story - whatever she fucked up, the was pretty enough (and slutty) that prople kept cheering on regardless...