The Chateau Diaries #35 Tattlers don't Rattle when Lie Lie Land tries to Battle

[MojoDublin]

The Chateau Diaries #35 Church Of Stephinology Tattlers don't Rattle when Lie Lie Land tries to Battle

Congratulations @Viva La Loca
Thank you @Hercule P for compiling a Chateau dictionary! and updates
Thanks to @ploppityplop2 for the intro.
Thanks to @MojoDublin and @Rory for Glossaries.
Thanks to @NotAChatelaine for Tattle.Life Word of The Day
Honourable Mention @Gibson Now Resident Q


CD - The Chateau Diaries

Tarts boudoir - Chateau de Lalande
HMN - heap in the middle of nowhere
Flat 34B - bolt hole SJ

LOTL/LOTLL - Lady of the (Lost) Lake, aka Stephanie (b.1975)
SSB- She Who Shouts from the balcony, SJ
QBC- Queen of bed chambers - SJ
MB - Madame Boneyparts -SJ
SJ - Stephanie Jarvis
Fanny - Stephanie Jarvis

MMAF - Mad Man's Arse Face, i.e. mummy
Mini Apron - Isabelle Jarvis (nee Biggio, b.1942) married 1962/3 to Derek Jarvis, widowed 2009, married to Percy Atfield year???

Potty/MP - Michael Potts
Cinder-Ruth- MPotts current squeeze Ruth Kelly (b.1981)

Nitti/Nutty - Nati Oliveto

Floral Roadkill (FRK / RK) - Marie Wiik (b.1991)

BJJ - Baby Jesus Jeans, aka Philip Janssen
PP (Nostril of Lalande) - Prince Philip
UH - Uriah Heep - Philip
Renfield - Philip

MP/MP2/MPK - Michael Petherick (b.1986)
MOLD: Man Of LOST Design - Michael Petherick
Crybaby - Michael Petherick
Sir Trotter BDSM - Michael Petherick
Teabag Trotter - Michael Petherick
Master - Swedish director of Elias Truedsson
BS - Billy Spielberg - Billy Petherick (b.1988)
Trotter, Petherdick - any Petherick family reference
Ma Trotter - Sherrie Petherick
Pa Trotter - Mr Petherick Esq
PILF: The only Petherick I'd like to be filmed with - Pa 'Mick' Trotter

Dear Brenda/BG - Brenda Gibbons (superfan/Facebook admin) from Donegal Ireland
Karen Cbomb - other superfan/admin, Canada
Jumpsuit Jill - rabid serial deletor of unfan comments on premier chat - Jill Scott, New Zealand

Donegals - Limericks (renamed in honour of Dear Brenda)
Agents - Tattlers who find out juicy background info

Chat O (or variations) - Chateau (how Brenda says it)
“BuyMeACoffee” - give me money (no, really, give me money, I really need it)

MBNS;GF - more boring narc stuff; gimme facts

PSDFHB - princess shouting down from her balcony
PRSDBP - princess in her robe shouting down from her balcony at the peasants

Wet Blanket - Fun hoover
Mickey Dodger - Woman who avoids sexual encounters

Thanks to @Rory for the SSB Main Squeeze Glossary:

1. Gregory Francis Mannion Clark - Husband and boyfriend, on and off at uni. SJ approx 18
2. Nic Larkin - apparently just friends at uni (but also dated according to CB?)
3. Married Husband 22-24??? (wedding registered in July 1999, she was 23 at the time)
4. Michael Potts met through Oliver Strong on and off 10 years. Open relationship in the end. Buys Chateau 2005 during relationship age 29.
5. Edmond Fokker van Craayenstein (player in tight trousers who pretends to be an aristocrat-BF with guy who said "let the 80 years-olds die off")
6. Mason Dwinell on and off (last we heard he is still staring at the sun?)
7. Ludwig Norweigner (otherwise known as Nordic Weirdo, alcoholic friend unceremoniously dumped at the train station without a ticket)
8. James Jardine (turned out to be "too much" for the girl who never has enough)
9. Daniel Hengeveld (nicknamed Druggy Daniel, because of his not so secret habits. IJ was furious about that romance and the fact that he introduced narcotics into the shat-o. Christmas 2016)
10. Various volunteers ad nauseum (bread oven guy Walton, Christian We etc.)
11. BJJ (any port in a storm, eh Stephanie?)


Tattle.Life Word of the day
'snollygoster' (19th century): an individual guided by personal gain rather than by principles.

‘ingordigiousness’: extreme greed; an insatiable desire for wealth at any cost.


Château dictionary

BasMinger: Château de Basmaignée/aka Trotter Towers, the spin off Vlogs of the Trotters. @Jeeves

Begmania: château de Basmaignée @Le Comte de Monte Cristo

Cadge: Cadeaux at the Châteaux' channel @Definitely Maybe

Dadification: The attribution of Derek's nature or characteristics at each and every opportunity. @Jeeves

(a) Derek, to be a Derek: someone who is obsessed with boobs @Gibson

(a) Fouquet: as in to pull a Fouquet. The act of using public funds to finance once lavish lifestyle, in honour of the Great Nicolas Fouquet, Louis the XIV’s finance minister and builder of celebrated Château of Vaux-le-Vicomte (the most ostentatious Château of its time, pre-dating the Versailles renovations) who finished his life in jail being accused by the King of mismanagement of funds. @justcommonsense

GAG: Grab a Gift @Mrs O

Gustavo: male prostitute with expensive tastes @Hercule P

High Priestess Skankadankadingdong: SJ's name @lalablahblah

Madrid syndrom: stricto sensu, long journey to have some bedroom activities in a very expensive hotel in the middle of a pandemy
Flexible version, long journey to have some bedroom activities in a very expensive place @Hercule P

Petherfending: defending Petherick @Joy no toile

Selmobile: Selmar’s camper-van vehicle of love and adventure @Princess and the Pea or @Gibson ?????

Spored: bored with Spode, I am so spored right now, or Diesel is spored; he wants his old dog dish back. @ProfessorPlum

Stephanese: What would be your definition? @mummydearest

Stephfending: when I actually do feel the need to defend SJ. @Milre

Stephiphany: a sudden awareness of the chance to swindle @ProfessorPlum

Trolliosis: a debilitating condition caused by Tattlers asking questions or making observations relating to grifting @lalablahblah

To Versailles: to behave like Marie-Antoinette (Sofia Coppola’s dancing, dressing-up, gambling, romanticising nature version of Marie-Antoinette) As in They Versailled again all night yesterday! @justcommonsense

To Versailles up: to make Versailles-inspired design choices that, depending on taste and budget, may result in a nouveau-riche or tat-like look. As in They Versailled up the entrance, it looks [insert preferred adjective]! @justcommonsense

ArtWork @Linus

ARTWORK @Linus


Congratulations to @Gibson
Extract part deux:

Christmas Advent Diaries:

Dear Diary
I am so excited. I've been promoted! Steph has bought me a matching blue outfit and we have begun filming for the Christmas editions. Last year it was Michael...this year it's me...everyone is so pleased for me, except for Marie! She keeps sabotaging my ideas for the wreath. The floral biatch has no taste! Steph and I know what is good taste!
Dear Diary
Today I was ill. I don't understand it as I am so careful with my diet. Marie made me my special drink, with my exact instructions...she knows my allergies. You can't get good help these days!
Dear Diary
Wow, wow, wow! The Lalanders love me. I have so many gifts, my special friend Loki loves me and likes to flirt. Steph says its good to play both sides as it keeps the views up. Should I start my own Vlog? The Hedgehog diaries?
Dear Diary
Steph's ex, keeps looking at me weirdly. At first I thought it was because he was working out how to photograph me(I am indispensableto Steph!)...but no. It's the line up for the lalande fountain photo.
Dear Diary
Today, Steph is cleaning out her closet. I've snaffled some cute pants. Marie is jealous cos she can't fit in them. 'Snort!' I look cute. Steph offered to adjust them for me...I do my own tucking!
Dear Diary
Dutchman to Dutchman...Selmar and I were consulting over a few of our Dutch cakes I am confused, I have these warm feelings. I confided in Selmar. He went red in the face and looked at me like he wanted to kill me... He muttered that he was leaving at the weekend and wouldn't be where his affections weren't returned. The next day he broke a pipe!
Dear Diary
Today I bought myself a special tool. Apparently it is good for making things appear larger. I tried it out and I squealed a bit too loudly. I have to vlog tonight, but not sure I can walk properly. Thank God for Hedgehog cushions...

 

[ComtesseRose]

they don't do the garden, they don't cook. Are they doing the cleaning ?

He digitalises the pornographic kitchen tiles, she/her cooks when Marie does not...

RE: Military - we also have conscription in Denmark, but it only applies to men turning 18.
(Which is horribly sexist, where are the feminists demanding equality in that field - Oh wait! )

 

[sammy13]

Black sheep said:
— I agree about the faces of the inhabitants of lalonde. Lots of changes to them. Is it bloat? Too much champers? Is it a slow poisoning? The boring food?—

I think who they are on the inside, is starting to emerge on their outsides.

 

[Arfarf]

Hey, lovely people, can you all clarify something for me?
Are Selmar and FRK both from Norway and Snort from the Netherlands?
FRK and Selmar's accent does not bother me ( though sometimes Selmar needs subtitles) but Nostrils accent makes me nuts!! Would anybody speaking English from the Netherlands sound that way???
I feel like he "puts that on"?? Like he is TRYING to sound cultured? Or posh? Or just me?

And Nutti is having hair loss issues because she needs to get at least 10 inches cut off! It would be more flattering, more age appropriate and release tension on her scalp.
And if FRK is a vegetarian where ARE the vegetables? SJ is looking anorexic. Too long residing with skinny, allergy boy or drinking too much. Or both!

 

[lalablahblah]

Mold poisoning causes hair loss. https://www.google.com/url?q=http:/...FjAKegQICBAB&usg=AOvVaw3Idsu2SsD2Gc1Rc_c_nBgM

Mold poisoning also causes bloat and digestion problems.

https://www.google.com/url?q=[URL]h...FjAJegQIChAB&usg=AOvVaw2jN8xWIjFlziPRE70Lrota

[/URL]

Looks like Skankanee's moldy tit show is making them sick. Being inside with insufficient heat and mold all winter is not a good thing.

 

[darkone]

A bit behind but I wondered if Selmar’s conversations with the unknown Belinda are his way of eliminating unwanted attention that he may be receiving from women online. Perhaps he had one of his friends leave comments etc. so that people think he is in a relationship? Just a thought. No one really knows if this woman in the photo is “real”. And there is nothing attached to her YouTube account.

 

[Le Comte de Monte Cristo]

Hey, lovely people, can you all clarify something for me?
Are Selmar and FRK both from Norway and Snort from the Netherlands?
FRK and Selmar's accent does not bother me ( though sometimes Selmar needs subtitles) but Nostrils accent makes me nuts!! Would anybody speaking English from the Netherlands sound that way???
I feel like he "puts that on"?? Like he is TRYING to sound cultured? Or posh? Or just me?

And Nutti is having hair loss issues because she needs to get at least 10 inches cut off! It would be more flattering, more age appropriate and release tension on her scalp.
And if FRK is a vegetarian where ARE the vegetables? SJ is looking anorexic. Too long residing with skinny, allergy boy or drinking too much. Or both!

Selmar and Snort are both Dutch, In the Netherlands we all speak good English, Snorts is a bit made up ,he tries to give it a bit of a posh feeling to it... and Selmars English is horrible..I get the feeling he has been to some special school for kids with learningproblems..He speaks English like a Dutch 4 year old...

 

[lalablahblah]

Wow... Any cloth, paper, wood, dry wall, plaster would have to be diposed of. Including Daddy's cartoon porn art. The whole tit show professionally cleaned. All damp resolved. Air filtered. What a mess...

 

[Viva La Loca]

@MojoDublin
I am surprised

thought I would come back to a new - not read your posts yet
watched Fanny's vlog
she needs to pay for a decorator.
Mind the gap !!

I see she's carrying on playing up how overworked she is

must have arrived a while ago - 3 wks ?

finally had a haircut - give the traction alopecia a break

 

[Le Comte de Monte Cristo]

In the discription fom todays vlog..Antoine is opening gifts waiting here since Christmas..... So i guess they were there for Christmas...Lies lies lies....And yes its a hobby of mine to dig the lies up... And omg Marie is saying it also...What a bunch of lunatics...And our Fanny Flash didnt it edit out...We were in Lockdown for f...cking sake....

 

[Definitely Maybe]

@Arfarf Selmar is Dutch too !

 

[Jikki2]

Hey, lovely people, can you all clarify something for me?
Are Selmar and FRK both from Norway and Snort from the Netherlands?
FRK and Selmar's accent does not bother me ( though sometimes Selmar needs subtitles) but Nostrils accent makes me nuts!! Would anybody speaking English from the Netherlands sound that way???
I feel like he "puts that on"?? Like he is TRYING to sound cultured? Or posh? Or just me?

Selmar has a very strong Dutch accent and Snorty mostly uses British received pronunciation (RP) as reference. I don't think Snorts puts the accent on anymore but he has learned to speak like that and it is now natural to him. I guess he thinks he sounds sophisticated.
Most Europeans learn British English in school and unfortunately it can mean learning old-fashioned RP, too. And changing an accent can be almost impossible for non-natives. But Snorty is an actor so he should be able to do it with some effort!

 

[Pno]

In the discription fom todays vlog..Antoine is opening gifts waiting here since Christmas..... So i guess they were there for Christmas...Lies lies lies....And yes its a hobby of mine to dig the lies up... And omg Marie is saying it also...What a bunch of lunatics...And our Fanny Flash didnt it edit out...We were in Lockdown for f...cking sake....

They are doing a Live Chat during the ‘Premiere’ today which means A-this is not going away anytime soon and B-BJJ is trying to show that he is very busy too and I’m sure will be so overworked and need to join his Lady on whatever rejuvenation vacation baloney that feed their rabid fans.

 

[TheTaxInspector]

Jikki2: Journée Défense et Citoyenneté is one day of "military service" which Ryan would have needed to complete if he wanted French citizenship but he couldn't be arsed.
BTW, Macron introduced four-week Service national universel in France starting this year for all 16 to 25-year-olds.


I'm still not buying it because Anna mentioned it first and then Ryan copied her and spoke about military service, which it isn't. And if it was just for one day why didn't he want to do it? Where are his old school mates and the people he'd know if he's lived in France for 20 years? If he's been living in France for 20 years why has he got such a strong London accent? None of it makes any sense...

 

[Arfarf]

Selmar has a very strong Dutch accent and Snorty mostly uses British received pronunciation (RP) as reference. I don't think Snorts puts the accent on anymore but he has learned to speak like that and it is now natural to him. I guess he thinks he sounds sophisticated.
Most Europeans learn British English in school and unfortunately it can mean learning old-fashioned RP, too. And changing an accent can be almost impossible for non-natives. But Snorty is an actor so he should be able to do it with some effort!

Thanks everybody for the info!

 

[Viva La Loca]

covering the cleavage now Marie & Antoine are there

 

[Jikki2]

I'm still not buying it because Anna mentioned it first and then Ryan copied her and spoke about military service, which it isn't. And if it was just for one day why didn't he want to do it? Where are his old school mates and the people he'd know if he's lived in France for 20 years? If he's been living in France for 20 years why has he got such a strong London accent? None of it makes any sense...

I can imagine that 16-year-old Ryan is too lazy for one day of training. And he said in an early vlog something about being the only English kid in school and hinting towards not having many friends there. I shall also guess that the London accent comes from his family. He was born in London and if his parents are true Londoners, it might be the only English accent he has known growing up. But it's much based on speculation. We don't know what else will surface about him.

 

[FrenchGirl123]

He digitalises the pornographic kitchen tiles, she/her cooks when Marie does not...

RE: Military - we also have conscription in Denmark, but it only applies to men turning 18.
(Which is horribly sexist, where are the feminists demanding equality in that field - Oh wait! )

I forgot the tiles ! Sure he'll take all his time to do it

 

[darkone]

Mold poisoning causes hair loss. https://www.google.com/url?q=http:/...FjAKegQICBAB&usg=AOvVaw3Idsu2SsD2Gc1Rc_c_nBgM

Mold poisoning also causes bloat and digestion problems.

https://www.google.com/url?q=[URL]h...FjAJegQIChAB&usg=AOvVaw2jN8xWIjFlziPRE70Lrota

[/URL]

Looks like Skankanee's moldy tit show is making them sick. Being inside with insufficient heat and mold all winter is not a good thing.

And she doesn’t feel that adequate heat is important which is crazy. More focused on decorating when health should be the first priority.

 

[Green Ink]

I guess he thinks he sounds sophisticated.

Unfortunately for him, he sounds like a tw@.