The Chateau Diaries #30 The Charlatan Chatelaine & the French Heritage Society

[MojoDublin]

TITLE -- The Chateau Diaries #30 Church of Stephinology : The charlatan Chatelaine & The French Heritage Society

title was too long abbreviated C.O.S


Thank you @Definitely Maybe for the new title suggestion

Twice in the same month
@Jeeves VIP Member
Congratulations @Clara Burnett on VIP

Thank you @Hercule P for compiling a Chateau dictionary! and updates
Thanks to @ploppityplop2 for the intro.
Thanks to @MojoDublin and @Rory for Glossaries.



CD - The Chateau Diaries

Tarts boudoir - Chateau de Lalande
HMN - heap in the middle of nowhere
Flat 34B - bolt hole SJ

LOTL/LOTLL - Lady of the (Lost) Lake, aka Stephanie (b.1975)
SSB- She Who Shouts from the balcony, SJ
QBC- Queen of bed chambers - SJ
MB - Madame Boneyparts -SJ
SJ - Stephanie Jarvis
fan - Stephanie Jarvis

MMAF - Mad Man's Arse Face, i.e. mummy
Mini Apron - Isabelle Jarvis (nee Biggio, b.1942) married 1962/3 to Derek Jarvis, widowed 2009, married to Percy Atfield year???

Potty/MP - Michael Potts
Cinder-Ruth- MPotts current squeeze Ruth Kelly (b.1981)

Nitti/Nutty - Nati Oliveto

Floral Roadkill (FRK / RK) - Marie Wiik (b.1991)

BJJ - Baby Jesus Jeans, aka Philip Janssen
PP (Nostril of Lalande) - Prince Philip
UH - Uriah Heep - Philip
Renfield - Philip

MP/MP2/MPK - Michael Petherick (b.1986)
MOLD: Man Of LOST Design - Michael Petherick
Crybaby - Michael Petherick
Sir Trotter BDSM - Michael Petherick
Teabag Trotter - Michael Petherick
Master - Swedish director of Elias Truedsson
BS - Billy Spielberg - Billy Petherick (b.1990)
Trotter, Petherdick - any Petherick family reference
Ma Trotter - Sherrie Petherick
Pa Trotter - Mr Petherick Esq
PILF: The only Petherick I'd like to be filmed with - Pa 'Mick' Trotter

Dear Brenda/BG - Brenda Gibbons (superfan/Facebook admin) from Donegal Ireland
Karen Cbomb - other superfan/admin, Canada
Jumpsuit Jill - rabid serial deletor of unfan comments on premier chat - Jill Scott, New Zealand

Donegals - Limericks (renamed in honour of Dear Brenda)
Agents - Tattlers who find out juicy background info

Chat O (or variations) - Chateau (how Brenda says it)
“BuyMeACoffee” - give me money (no, really, give me money, I really need it)

MBNS;GF - more boring narc stuff; gimme facts

PSDFHB - princess shouting down from her balcony
PRSDBP - princess in her robe shouting down from her balcony at the peasants

Wet Blanket - Fun hoover
Mickey Dodger - Woman who avoids sexual encounters

Thanks to @Rory for the SSB Main Squeeze Glossary:

1. Gregory Mason Clark - Husband and boyfriend, on and off at uni. SJ approx 18
2. Nic Larkin - apparently just friends at uni (but also dated according to CB?)
3. Married Husband 22-24??? (wedding registered in July 1999, she was 23 at the time)
4. Michael Potts met through Oliver Strong on and off 10 years. Open relationship in the end. Buys Chateau 2005 during relationship age 29.
5. Edmond Fokker van Craayenstein (player in tight trousers who pretends to be an aristocrat-BF with guy who said "let the 80 years-olds die off")
6. Mason Dwinell on and off (last we heard he is still staring at the sun?)
7. Ludwig Norweigner (otherwise known as Nordic Weirdo, alcoholic friend unceremoniously dumped at the train station without a ticket)
8. James Jardine (turned out to be "too much" for the girl who never has enough)
9. Daniel Hengeveld (nicknamed Druggy Daniel, because of his not so secret habits. IJ was furious about that romance and the fact that he introduced narcotics into the shat-o. Christmas 2016)
10. Various volunteers ad nauseum (bread oven guy Walton, Christian We etc.)
11. BJJ (any port in a storm, eh Stephanie?)


Château dictionary

BasMinger: Château de Basmaignée/aka Trotter Towers, the spin off Vlogs of the Trotters. @Jeeves

Begmania: château de Basmaignée @Le Comte de Monte Cristo

Cadge: Cadeaux at the Châteaux' channel @Definitely Maybe

Dadification: The attribution of Derek's nature or characteristics at each and every opportunity. @Jeeves

(a) Derek, to be a Derek: someone who is obsessed with boobs @Gibson

(a) Fouquet: as in to pull a Fouquet. The act of using public funds to finance once lavish lifestyle, in honour of the Great Nicolas Fouquet, Louis the XIV’s finance minister and builder of celebrated Château of Vaux-le-Vicomte (the most ostentatious Château of its time, pre-dating the Versailles renovations) who finished his life in jail being accused by the King of mismanagement of funds. @justcommonsense

GAG: Grab a Gift @Mrs O

Gustavo: male prostitute with expensive tastes @Hercule P

High Priestess Skankadankadingdong: SJ's name @lalablahblah

Madrid syndrom: stricto sensu, long journey to have some bedroom activities in a very expensive hotel in the middle of a pandemy
Flexible version, long journey to have some bedroom activities in a very expensive place @Hercule P

Petherfending: defending Petherick @Joy no toile

Selmobile: Selmar’s camper-van vehicle of love and adventure @Princess and the Pea or @Gibson ?????

Spored: bored with Spode, I am so spored right now, or Diesel is spored; he wants his old dog dish back. @ProfessorPlum

Stephanese: What would be your definition? @mummydearest

Stephfending: when I actually do feel the need to defend SJ. @Milre

Stephiphany: a sudden awareness of the chance to swindle @ProfessorPlum

Trolliosis: a debilitating condition caused by Tattlers asking questions or making observations relating to grifting @lalablahblah

To Versailles: to behave like Marie-Antoinette (Sofia Coppola’s dancing, dressing-up, gambling, romanticising nature version of Marie-Antoinette) As in They Versailled again all night yesterday! @justcommonsense

To Versailles up: to make Versailles-inspired design choices that, depending on taste and budget, may result in a nouveau-riche or tat-like look. As in They Versailled up the entrance, it looks [insert preferred adjective]! @justcommonsense

ArtWork @Linus

ARTWORK @Marquis de Potpourri

 

[sandro37]

this pages have the best intro
previous thread is closed now

 

[FrenchGirl123]

Thanks for the new thread (already !)

Super fans agree with me !

They were so rude...

Is it me or I sense a different vibe in their YT comments lately ?



Kerry
1 hour ago
Such exciting things happening however when Stephanie was discussing a serious issue relating to the wall Phillip speaks about Stephanie’s hair-not very polite I think

4

REPLY


Hide reply

ManOnEarth
45 minutes ago
@kerry . Yes, its awful.


REPLY

 

[Viva La Loca]

1. Terrace : Does that mean that in 16 years, nobody at the Lalande ever thought of removing the moss (how easy it was for the technician to do it !) and in doing so, unblocking the gutter and then... saving the structural old walls ??!!!

You took the words right out my head.
I genuinely don't think she deserves funding support from anyone let alone the FHS because of non-actions like this, and all the rest. The list of apathy is now big enough for a novel.


On another note .. I don't blame Marie for demanding half the kitchen table as her workspace. It is an ill thought out kitchen especially for catering for the amount of people that the chateau can accommodate.
There are no work surfaces at all for food prep except for the table, and before 'cocktail corner' cabinet there would have been people constantly in the way.
She / they did not plan a kitchen layout at all. They just copied the 70's kitchen that was already there but made it look nicer. Lets not forget, it was a holiday home for the Nadiac's. Even 16 yrs ago they weren't investing in making a family home. Just tarting it up and moving on. She did say that their original intention was to sell 5 yrs after buying.

No work surfaces except for the table with chairs in the way.

Marie really does look like a servant here.

 

[Kickintheass]

Agree about the lack of working height space. A table is around 75cms high where a counter is around 90cms. Your back will tell you quickly.

 

[Parrfect Porcelane]

You took the words right out my head.
I genuinely don't think she deserves funding support from anyone let alone the FHS because of non-actions like this, and all the rest. The list of apathy is now big enough for a novel.


On another note .. I don't blame Marie for demanding half the kitchen table as her workspace. It is an ill thought out kitchen especially for catering for the amount of people that the chateau can accommodate.
There are no work surfaces at all for food prep except for the table, and before 'cocktail corner' cabinet there would have been people constantly in the way.
She / they did not plan a kitchen layout at all. They just copied the 70's kitchen that was already there but made it look nicer. Lets not forget, it was a holiday home for the Nadiac's. Even 16 yrs ago they weren't investing in making a family home. Just tarting it up and moving on. She did say that their original intention was to sell 5 yrs after buying.

View attachment 529206

View attachment 529207 View attachment 529209 View attachment 529213

No work surfaces except for the table with chairs in the way.

View attachment 529216 Marie really does look like a servant here.

The kitchen is very poorly designed. I don't understand why she kept that enormous stove that never gets used. I know she said it was for historic reasons but it takes up so much space. And there's the white chaise lounge next to it. I could go on, but it's just ugly.

 

[Clara Burnett]

TITLE -- The Chateau Diaries #30 Church of Stephinology : The charlatan Chatelaine & The French Heritage Society

title was too long abbreviated C.O.S


Thank you @Definitely Maybe for the new title suggestion

Twice in the same month
@Jeeves VIP Member
Congratulations @Clara Burnett on VIP

Thank you @Hercule P for compiling a Chateau dictionary! and updates
Thanks to @ploppityplop2 for the intro.
Thanks to @MojoDublin and @Rory for Glossaries.



CD - The Chateau Diaries

Tarts boudoir - Chateau de Lalande
HMN - heap in the middle of nowhere
Flat 34B - bolt hole SJ

LOTL/LOTLL - Lady of the (Lost) Lake, aka Stephanie (b.1975)
SSB- She Who Shouts from the balcony, SJ
QBC- Queen of bed chambers - SJ
MB - Madame Boneyparts -SJ
SJ - Stephanie Jarvis
fan - Stephanie Jarvis

MMAF - Mad Man's Arse Face, i.e. mummy
Mini Apron - Isabelle Jarvis (nee Biggio, b.1942) married 1962/3 to Derek Jarvis, widowed 2009, married to Percy Atfield year???

Potty/MP - Michael Potts
Cinder-Ruth- MPotts current squeeze Ruth Kelly (b.1981)

Nitti/Nutty - Nati Oliveto

Floral Roadkill (FRK / RK) - Marie Wiik (b.1991)

BJJ - Baby Jesus Jeans, aka Philip Janssen
PP (Nostril of Lalande) - Prince Philip
UH - Uriah Heep - Philip
Renfield - Philip

MP/MP2/MPK - Michael Petherick (b.1986)
MOLD: Man Of LOST Design - Michael Petherick
Crybaby - Michael Petherick
Sir Trotter BDSM - Michael Petherick
Teabag Trotter - Michael Petherick
Master - Swedish director of Elias Truedsson
BS - Billy Spielberg - Billy Petherick (b.1990)
Trotter, Petherdick - any Petherick family reference
Ma Trotter - Sherrie Petherick
Pa Trotter - Mr Petherick Esq
PILF: The only Petherick I'd like to be filmed with - Pa 'Mick' Trotter

Dear Brenda/BG - Brenda Gibbons (superfan/Facebook admin) from Donegal Ireland
Karen Cbomb - other superfan/admin, Canada
Jumpsuit Jill - rabid serial deletor of unfan comments on premier chat - Jill Scott, New Zealand

Donegals - Limericks (renamed in honour of Dear Brenda)
Agents - Tattlers who find out juicy background info

Chat O (or variations) - Chateau (how Brenda says it)
“BuyMeACoffee” - give me money (no, really, give me money, I really need it)

MBNS;GF - more boring narc stuff; gimme facts

PSDFHB - princess shouting down from her balcony
PRSDBP - princess in her robe shouting down from her balcony at the peasants

Wet Blanket - Fun hoover
Mickey Dodger - Woman who avoids sexual encounters

Thanks to @Rory for the SSB Main Squeeze Glossary:

1. Gregory Mason Clark - Husband and boyfriend, on and off at uni. SJ approx 18
2. Nic Larkin - apparently just friends at uni (but also dated according to CB?)
3. Married Husband 22-24??? (wedding registered in July 1999, she was 23 at the time)
4. Michael Potts met through Oliver Strong on and off 10 years. Open relationship in the end. Buys Chateau 2005 during relationship age 29.
5. Edmond Fokker van Craayenstein (player in tight trousers who pretends to be an aristocrat-BF with guy who said "let the 80 years-olds die off")
6. Mason Dwinell on and off (last we heard he is still staring at the sun?)
7. Ludwig Norweigner (otherwise known as Nordic Weirdo, alcoholic friend unceremoniously dumped at the train station without a ticket)
8. James Jardine (turned out to be "too much" for the girl who never has enough)
9. Daniel Hengeveld (nicknamed Druggy Daniel, because of his not so secret habits. IJ was furious about that romance and the fact that he introduced narcotics into the shat-o. Christmas 2016)
10. Various volunteers ad nauseum (bread oven guy Walton, Christian We etc.)
11. BJJ (any port in a storm, eh Stephanie?)


Château dictionary

BasMinger: Château de Basmaignée/aka Trotter Towers, the spin off Vlogs of the Trotters. @Jeeves

Begmania: château de Basmaignée @Le Comte de Monte Cristo

Cadge: Cadeaux at the Châteaux' channel @Definitely Maybe

Dadification: The attribution of Derek's nature or characteristics at each and every opportunity. @Jeeves

(a) Derek, to be a Derek: someone who is obsessed with boobs @Gibson

(a) Fouquet: as in to pull a Fouquet. The act of using public funds to finance once lavish lifestyle, in honour of the Great Nicolas Fouquet, Louis the XIV’s finance minister and builder of celebrated Château of Vaux-le-Vicomte (the most ostentatious Château of its time, pre-dating the Versailles renovations) who finished his life in jail being accused by the King of mismanagement of funds. @justcommonsense

GAG: Grab a Gift @Mrs O

Gustavo: male prostitute with expensive tastes @Hercule P

High Priestess Skankadankadingdong: SJ's name @lalablahblah

Madrid syndrom: stricto sensu, long journey to have some bedroom activities in a very expensive hotel in the middle of a pandemy
Flexible version, long journey to have some bedroom activities in a very expensive place @Hercule P

Petherfending: defending Petherick @Joy no toile

Selmobile: Selmar’s camper-van vehicle of love and adventure @Princess and the Pea or @Gibson ?????

Spored: bored with Spode, I am so spored right now, or Diesel is spored; he wants his old dog dish back. @ProfessorPlum

Stephanese: What would be your definition? @mummydearest

Stephfending: when I actually do feel the need to defend SJ. @Milre

Stephiphany: a sudden awareness of the chance to swindle @ProfessorPlum

Trolliosis: a debilitating condition caused by Tattlers asking questions or making observations relating to grifting @lalablahblah

To Versailles: to behave like Marie-Antoinette (Sofia Coppola’s dancing, dressing-up, gambling, romanticising nature version of Marie-Antoinette) As in They Versailled again all night yesterday! @justcommonsense

To Versailles up: to make Versailles-inspired design choices that, depending on taste and budget, may result in a nouveau-riche or tat-like look. As in They Versailled up the entrance, it looks [insert preferred adjective]! @justcommonsense




View attachment 529160

ArtWork @Linus

View attachment 529161

ARTWORK @Marquis de Potpourri

Thank you so much for creating the new thread, @MojoDublin ! We are getting really organized this way, aren't we...

 

[Violetty]

I wonder if SSB might just have a cunning plan regarding BJJ.

I think most of us agree that once covid is under control we will not see our princess for dust. She has mentioned the rest of the vlogs she wants to make with Oliver, she will want to visit London, she will want to visit SA to see Spero and/or IJ, she has promised top tier patrons she will visit USA, she no doubt wants to visit all the other chateaux grifters to lord it over them, she will want an exotic holiday with Gerry, she will want to go to Italy, the Orient Express beckons, etc etc.

BUT, there is so much going on now at La Lande she needs somebody she can trust to film it and be able to 'interview' the workmen etc. I think she is grooming PJJ for that role. She is getting frustrated with him (as seen in the last vlog) because she wants it done her way, and initially I thought she was trying to get rid of him, but now I wonder if she is training him to be her sub-vlogger to document the 'renovations' whilst she flits around the world. The patrons enjoy her travel vlogs, but they have shown in the past that it is the progress that their money is bringing to the chateau that they are most interested in, and if she gets a grant, from the FHS for example, she may need documentary proof of any improvements she is having done.

PJJ might not be perfect, but at least a lot of the tradespeople know him now, and he certainly has his 'feet under the table' with a lot of her friends and family so, sadly (I am not a fan) I think there might be a lot more snorting to come at La Lande.

 

[Tamerton]

No work surfaces except for the table with chairs in the way.

Plenty of space for a decent Island, with additional storage, and could still provide seating as well as worksurfaces. Maybe even a sink.

 

[ploppityplop2]

I wonder if SSB might just have a cunning plan regarding BJJ.

I think most of us agree that once covid is under control we will not see our princess for dust. She has mentioned the rest of the vlogs she wants to make with Oliver, she will want to visit London, she will want to visit SA to see Spero and/or IJ, she has promised top tier patrons she will visit USA, she no doubt wants to visit all the other chateaux grifters to lord it over them, she will want an exotic holiday with Gerry, she will want to go to Italy, the Orient Express beckons, etc etc.

BUT, there is so much going on now at La Lande she needs somebody she can trust to film it and be able to 'interview' the workmen etc. I think she is grooming PJJ for that role. She is getting frustrated with him (as seen in the last vlog) because she wants it done her way, and initially I thought she was trying to get rid of him, but now I wonder if she is training him to be her sub-vlogger to document the 'renovations' whilst she flits around the world. The patrons enjoy her travel vlogs, but they have shown in the past that it is the progress that their money is bringing to the chateau that they are most interested in, and if she gets a grant, from the RHS for example, she may need documentary proof of any improvements she is having done.

PJJ might not be perfect, but at least a lot of the tradespeople know him now, and he certainly has his 'feet under the table' with a lot of her friends and family so, sadly (I am not a fan) I think there might be a lot more snorting to come at La Lande.

The vlogs have done right downhill since he started doing them

 

[Parrfect Porcelane]

The vlogs have done right downhill since he started doing them

Agreed. The comments are either how much people love him or how irritating they find him. It's remarkable that the negative comments disappear, though

 

[Violetty]

The vlogs have done right downhill since he started doing them

I agree. That's why he needs training

 

[Viva La Loca]

Agree about the lack of working height space. A table is around 75cms high where a counter is around 90cms. Your back will tell you quickly.

for sure ain't nobody got time for that.

maybe that's why she has to stay in bed so much

 

[ploppityplop2]

I agree. That's why he needs training

Training won’t improve them

 

[Viva La Loca]

Plenty of space for a decent Island, with additional storage, and could still provide seating as well as worksurfaces. Maybe even a sink.

for example Dick Strawbridge's kitchen, early photo's. it's developed on since.

It must be a nightmare prepping and cooking in fan's kitchen.

Even Selmars van will have a work surface at the correct height. That's now a score of 7 to Selmar for having ..
1. heat
2. no mice
3. an ergonomic kitchen area
4. his shower will be hotter than the ones in the chateau, maybe better water pressure too.
5. cleaner
6. it's mobile
7. solar panel

8. his own mobile toilet (covid score point)

 

[ploppityplop2]

for example Dick Strawbridge's kitchen, early photo's. it's developed on since.

View attachment 529331 View attachment 529333 View attachment 529336

And the new industrial kitchen for events!

 

[Kickintheass]

for example Dick Strawbridge's kitchen, early photo's. it's developed on since.

View attachment 529331 View attachment 529333 View attachment 529336

And that is just the family kitchen. The catering kitchen (lots of stainless steel) is also very impressive.

Snap plopity.

 

[lolander]

The kitchen is very poorly designed. I don't understand why she kept that enormous stove that never gets used. I know she said it was for historic reasons but it takes up so much space. And there's the white chaise lounge next to it. I could go on, but it's just ugly.

They should've kept the original proportions (kitchen+petit salon) to have space for a proper kitchen island and not create a butler's pantry and that corridor they call petit salon.

 

[Viva La Loca]

And the new industrial kitchen for events!

They can't even clean out the bread oven room and make it work properly as a cooking area. MPotts is just as useless and childish as she is about the whole building.

They should've kept the original proportions (kitchen+petit salon) to have space for a proper kitchen island and not create a butler's pantry and that corridor they call petit salon.

the wall between the petit salon and the kitchen was put in by them?

it would be a lovely (and ergonomic) if it was that whole space with the spiral stairs coming straight into the kitchen. Surely that's the kitchen needed in a chateau.

 

[ITIE]

The kitchen is very poorly designed. I don't understand why she kept that enormous stove that never gets used. I know she said it was for historic reasons but it takes up so much space. And there's the white chaise lounge next to it. I could go on, but it's just ugly.

I like the old stove. But, as it is not used, I would put a granite or marble top on it and use it as counter space. Certainly more hygienic than now!!