The Chateau Diaries #210 PhiPhi. He's the first Real Housewife of Lalande

[OhIDontKnow...]

It’s well-established that time, calendars and chronology operate in the parallel universe that is Lalande and the chatelaine of Chateau Shambles bear no relationship to us lesser beings in our multi time zones on planet earth. I’ve no idea why SJ thinks it’s a useful mechanism to help muddy her chronological waters but if you’re going to do something it helps to be consistent and do it properly.

It’s beyond me why the van wasn’t hired in France in the first place. Seems the logical, sensible, most cost effective and time efficient plan. Oh wait…it’s Mlle Fumée et Miroirs who’s singularly lacking in logic and sense.

I think the reasons for muddying timelines is for time off and to travel.

 

[Just Grift Wood]

I think the reasons for muddying timelines is for time off and to travel.

Yes because she knows she is doing bugger all and is more likely to be called out if she actually shows she spends about 200 days a year travelling. Fanny is not a happy person she is always looking for something to fulfil her thus the travel, the pointless shopping the drama but actually without her Mum who does she have that truly loves her? She is en route to be a very lonely lady and a husk of a human being. She is so rude even turning up to the latest Bn B late late and then wanting an early breakfast she literally is the most selfish person. Making a show of Percy and her Mum saying goodbye literally that is a private moment and she has to hijack it. Totally ridiculous.

 

[Madame de Pompanddoodoo]

There was more to just “meeting” Potty at the B and B in Paris as well. Neither of them whether travelling from London or Amsterdam needed to stop off especially in Paris, both journeys could have been completed without that stop. They were going to see each other at the shittoo so meeting up a few hours before has to be for a reason. What were they doing on Paris more shopping or seeing their legal advisers. So why did they go there?

 

[Le Comte de Monte Cristo]

They stayed in London for about 2 weeks. A van hire for 2 weeks would cost too much.

There is so much to unpack with this flog.
Where did she put all the furniture from the grand salon? Where are these auction sofa's and chairs they bought in an auction in Paris?
As @Le Comte de Monte Cristo, they were suppose to do up bagheads appartment.
The terribly dirty rug, PhiPhi wants to place in the wintersalon with huge holes, I doubt it's an antique or a valueable rug.

that rug....omg...i bet we have some of those somewhere in an outbuilding to cover up something..

and imagine driving up at a chique expensive hotel in a van?? and giving the keys to the porter......parking that thing in London also would cost another fortune...with the risk it was damaged or scratched...

 

[vitanova]

The paint is original to the chateau

old marquis painted them himself

 

[Albee]

T

And just how with no van will that ever get to the dump. ?
The stuff from Nattys apartment was from the hall that went to the shoppe that went to the China pantry that is now in Nattys apartment. Along with more junk phi phi is buying daily.

They were loading the crap into a red van saying a friend had come to help. I think they used the unlicensed red van to move the crap.

 

[Lady Avonlea]

Yes I think Potty is taking a bigger share in the chateau. His morning summit with Mummy and Percy.
Moving his stuff in.
The triumphant “ Ruthless” title.
I also wonder if Amoury’s parents have put something in on their son’s behalf and definitely feel Baghead is withdrawing. Fanny will clearly keep a majority share so she can rule supreme.

Potty and Amoury's parents are fools to put any money into that dump. Just throwing good money after bad.

 

[Le Comte de Monte Cristo]

There was more to just “meeting” Potty at the B and B in Paris as well. Neither of them whether travelling from London or Amsterdam needed to stop off especially in Paris. So why go there?

probably so they could talk business, and spend another night in a nice room with clean sheets...she clearly hates to wash and change her bed ... its always...weeeeee.....do you see the bath......oh....i am gonna make myself a nice drink...take a good book and have a nice and cozy bath...i bet she can soft inthere for hours...lazy witch..well i guess she needs a good softing with all that dirt on her skin and hair...running around with that filthy crap...i would not even touch that crap without working gloves on... maybe rats have been pissing on it...who knows...blahh.

 

[vitanova]

She is crying poor to 4000+ patreons! I would lie if I had 36K to renovate my heap which is also my business while I splurge on expensive trips for weeks!

That wall has been a thorn in my eye for the past 2 years! How can one live like that?

alegedly she's waiting for epiphany i. e. for room to tell her what kind of interior design wants. i'm not very orderly person, but i would go crazy after very short time and at least take take those fithy rags off and put some white colour and something againt mold.

 

[Freesia54]

..and 'contributing to the restoration of a valuable monument..', yes but it's a FRENCH monument... and when it's sold, any profit goes in your bank account Lesa and Ted.... So absolutely you will be the ones who benefit. You should see how I had to cook for two years, and wash for 5 weeks!! Doubled our money though Lesa...

I think Teddy bears monotonous droning and rephrasing of a sentence that he never completes could be a reason why the subscriptions are low... and then he tries to reiterate what Lesa has already said... why? Do we need it in stereo? Keeping it real is their story.... temporary tent and facilities is a small sacrifice made to eventually get the dream... they really do believe their own narrative. Ofcourse they will benefit in the long run and the dream is the goal.

 

[noisette]

There was more to just “meeting” Potty at the B and B in Paris as well. Neither of them whether travelling from London or Amsterdam needed to stop off especially in Paris, both journeys could have been completed without that stop. They were going to see each other at the shittoo so meeting up a few hours before has to be for a reason. What were they doing on Paris more shopping or seeing their legal advisers. So why did they go there?

For a romantic reunion!

 

[Lady Avonlea]

its really something....that whole heap is filled with crap...half finished projects....half demolished bed rooms..her boudoir looks like a dump....unfinished bathrooms...and the rest is about to collapse...barely heat and hot water...and its utterly filthy...she can show that guy with a vacuumcleaner...but its utterly messy..Peacocks shitting on cars and all around the place...i bet that kitchenfloor is full of tit all the time...and that corridor of doom too..

its unbelievable she is inviting guests and volunteers inthere.....and also the fact somebody even wants to come and pay...

with all that money coming in..and with so many people working there...that place should be tiptop in order...and a good business...

But Madame isnt attatched to her heap....its a stageset to party and most of the time to bugger off on holdays or citytrips...and to grift money and presents....i cant believe so many follow her antics and pay for it...no wonder the world has gone completely mad...

Kim and Sabine are there to clean the joint up and finally clear out all the Christmas tat. Look at the large bottle of Bang degreaser liquid.
Although I can't say either Kim or Sabine look particularly happy to be there. How much does Fanny have to pay them to endure their suffering?

 

[Just Grift Wood]

probably so they could talk business, and spend another night in a nice room with clean sheets...she clearly hates to wash and change her bed ... its always...weeeeee.....do you see the bath......oh....i am gonna make myself a nice drink...take a good book and have a nice and cozy bath...i bet she can soft inthere for hours...lazy witch..well i guess she needs a good softing with all that dirt on her skin and hair...running around with that filthy crap...i would not even touch that crap without working gloves on... maybe rats have been pissing on it...who knows...blahh.

You have such a turn of phrase I just laughed out loud at work so I now look like a nutter. Fanny needs a good body scrub and exfoliation and a damn good hair cut. To have sheets on your bed for over a month is utterly minging think of all the dead skin, greasy hair and snorts dribble ewwww

---

For a romantic reunion!

Maybe Snorts comes along to watch and film their trysts ha ha

---

Kim and Sabine are there to clean the joint up and finally clear out all the Christmas tat. Look at the large bottle of Bang degreaser liquid.
Although I can't say either Kim or Sabine look particularly happy to be there. How much does Fanny have to pay them to endure their suffering?

Fanny literally does nothing now she doesn't cook, clean or even maintain anything is that tit hole

---

So La Lande Busy doing nothing song could have been written about this motley crew of lazy arses


Busy Doing Nothing
Song by Bing Crosby, Cedric Hardwicke, and William Bendix

• 
  Lyrics
• 
  Listen
• 
  Videos

La-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
We're busy doin' nothin'
Workin' the whole day through
Tryin' to find lots of things not to do
We're busy goin' nowhere
Isn't it just a crime
We'd like to be unhappy, but
We never do have the time
I have to watch the river
To see that it doesn't stop
And stick around the rosebuds
So they'll know when to pop
And keep the crickets cheerful
They're really a solemn bunch
Hustle, bustle
And only an hour for lunch
La-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
We're busy doin' nothin'
Workin' the whole day through
Tryin' to find lots of things not to do
We're busy goin' nowhere
Isn't it just a crime
We'd like to be unhappy, but
We never do have the time
I have to wake the Sun up
He's liable to sleep all day
And then inspect the rainbows
So they'll be bright and gay
I must rehearse the songbirds
To see that they sing in key
Hustle, bustle
And never a moment free
We're busy doin' nothin'
Workin' the whole day through
Tryin' to find lots of things not to do
We're busy going nowhere
Isn't it just a crime
We'd like to be unhappy, but
We never do have the time
I have to meet a turtle
I'm teachin' him how to swim
Then I have to shine the dewdrops
You know they're looking rather dim
I told my friend, the robin
I'd buy him a brand new vest
Hustle, bustle
We never do have
We never do have
We never do, never do
Never do, never do, never do have the time
Never do have the time

 

[graciemckitten]

I think she gets a kick out of it-it makes her go weeeeeeee as she thinks she is so clever.

Spot on. Fanny thinks she is superior and smarter than everyone else in the room. She thinks people are stupid and gets a “duper‘s delight” rush (she gets enjoyment and pleasure) in gaslighting and manipulating people by lying and misleading. It’s worked for her so far and she is getting more and more sloppy and blatant in spewing out misleading info and flat out lies. She believes she is invincible.

 

[noisette]

Fanny literally does nothing now she doesn't cook, clean or even maintain anything is that tit hole

I think you’ll find she works tirelessly … to come up with new lies, relationship breakers, schemes to keep her Patreon money to herself and schemes to cover her tracks whilst holidaying. Phew! I’m exhausted just thinking about it ‍

 

[Luna20]

What if, Michael potts is buying out baghead, and he becomes a part of CD flog regularly sharing in the profits and in charge of the revonations? He is a director so I assume he knows how to manage people/companies/supply chain.

Perhaps this is the reason why ye olde shoppe isn't in the air yet?

 

[noisette]

What if, Michael potts is buying out baghead, and he becomes a part of CD flog regularly sharing in the profits and in charge of the revonations? He is a director so I assume he knows how to manage people/companies/supply chain.

Perhaps this is the reason why ye olde shoppe isn't in the air yet?

I admire your optimism!

 

[graciemckitten]

Yes because she knows she is doing bugger all and is more likely to be called out if she actually shows she spends about 200 days a year travelling. Fanny is not a happy person she is always looking for something to fulfil her thus the travel, the pointless shopping the drama but actually without her Mum who does she have that truly loves her? She is en route to be a very lonely lady and a husk of a human being. She is so rude even turning up to the latest Bn B late late and then wanting an early breakfast she literally is the most selfish person. Making a show of Percy and her Mum saying goodbye literally that is a private moment and she has to hijack it. Totally ridiculous.

Stephanmememememe…. demands to receive special treatment. She routinely shows up late at other people’s homes, businesses, etc. and expects her schedule to be accommodated, regardless of the troubles she causes for others. She is the self centered and selfish little orphan princess and the sun does not rise until she decides to awaken.

 

[Le Comte de Monte Cristo]

What if, Michael potts is buying out baghead, and he becomes a part of CD flog regularly sharing in the profits and in charge of the revonations? He is a director so I assume he knows how to manage people/companies/supply chain.

Perhaps this is the reason why ye olde shoppe isn't in the air yet?

they cleared out too early I think they probably could sell that old bidet or chair without a seat in Ye olde shoppe....those followers would die to buy that.......Mad Ma"am darling sat with her lazy ass on it...its like a relic... a bidet where she washed her punami in...a really must have for them...Jason dubious would go wild....or Brenda Gibbons...

 

[KiKiGee]

I am sure Fanny is using Pube at the decoy saying he is buying things- but if he is buying all the this stuff he is a fool. The relationship is not guaranteed to last however many forced "dahhhhling"" they squeeze out. He is 25 doesn't own a house and has no job- his social housing if they split will not have the proportions for the porcelain alone.

---

There was more to just “meeting” Potty at the B and B in Paris as well. Neither of them whether travelling from London or Amsterdam needed to stop off especially in Paris, both journeys could have been completed without that stop. They were going to see each other at the shittoo so meeting up a few hours before has to be for a reason. What were they doing on Paris more shopping or seeing their legal advisers. So why did they go there?