The Chateau Diaries #207 The association is named: Wonker, Tasser, Trollop & Son!

[HalcyonOrganic]

@LittleMore Cottage, you might like Jerri Lander's Hop Along Hollow vlogs.
She recently built a greenhouse on the side of her home. It's very rustic.

OMG, I love her. I also use her video playlists to help me calm down and sleep.

 

[vitanova]

Tattlers I need narcissist help. I’ve been dealing with my wealthy narc aunt pretty well of late - I’ve learned a lot here on how to deal with her. But she just pulled something and I need to take a poll. My mom passed away in August. My aunt wants things that were my mothers. My mom didn’t have a lot but she was content. Today out of the blue she said she wanted mom’s class ring and letter sweater. My aunt lost both her sweater and her ring. She’s also asking for gifts she gave my mom to be returned to her. Jewelry and such.

She can be very generous to family and absolute strangers, but I find this weird. Actually it pissed me off. It just felt out of line to me for her to even ask for those things. I would never ever do that. Now she’s mad at me I’m sure because I seem greedy and she’d give me far more than something like that and has. I don’t even really care about keeping those things, because what would I even do with them? But it just felt out of line. She said it’s not like it wouldn’t come back to you. All I can think of regarding that is you lost yours once, what’s to say you don’t do it again? Also, I kind of feel I wouldn’t be honoring my mom if I didn’t keep them, but what do I know?

Anyways, help! Am I an asshole?

absolutely not. old greedy moth can bug off.

 

[ComtesseRose]

Am I an asshole?

NO!

All I can think of regarding that is you lost yours once, what’s to say you don’t do it again?

Exactly!

Sadly, I can't give any professional sound advice, other than keep your mother's things, as they mean more to you, than your aunt.
If she implodes, I would just suggest going no contact, as that is what you do with narcs.

 

[Le Baiseur]

Tattlers I need narcissist help. I’ve been dealing with my wealthy narc aunt pretty well of late - I’ve learned a lot here on how to deal with her. But she just pulled something and I need to take a poll. My mom passed away in August. My aunt wants things that were my mothers. My mom didn’t have a lot but she was content. Today out of the blue she said she wanted mom’s class ring and letter sweater. My aunt lost both her sweater and her ring. She’s also asking for gifts she gave my mom to be returned to her. Jewelry and such.

She can be very generous to family and absolute strangers, but I find this weird. Actually it pissed me off. It just felt out of line to me for her to even ask for those things. I would never ever do that. Now she’s mad at me I’m sure because I seem greedy and she’d give me far more than something like that and has. I don’t even really care about keeping those things, because what would I even do with them? But it just felt out of line. She said it’s not like it wouldn’t come back to you. All I can think of regarding that is you lost yours once, what’s to say you don’t do it again? Also, I kind of feel I wouldn’t be honoring my mom if I didn’t keep them, but what do I know?

Anyways, help! Am I an asshole?

She's out of line for asking and my initial reaction is to tell her to F off... but as I think about it.. If your mom was particularly attached to those items, I'd keep them. If neither you nor your mom is/was attached to the items, let your aunt have them - is it a battle worth fighting?

 

[Yebo]

Tattlers I need narcissist help. I’ve been dealing with my wealthy narc aunt pretty well of late - I’ve learned a lot here on how to deal with her. But she just pulled something and I need to take a poll. My mom passed away in August. My aunt wants things that were my mothers. My mom didn’t have a lot but she was content. Today out of the blue she said she wanted mom’s class ring and letter sweater. My aunt lost both her sweater and her ring. She’s also asking for gifts she gave my mom to be returned to her. Jewelry and such.

She can be very generous to family and absolute strangers, but I find this weird. Actually it pissed me off. It just felt out of line to me for her to even ask for those things. I would never ever do that. Now she’s mad at me I’m sure because I seem greedy and she’d give me far more than something like that and has. I don’t even really care about keeping those things, because what would I even do with them? But it just felt out of line. She said it’s not like it wouldn’t come back to you. All I can think of regarding that is you lost yours once, what’s to say you don’t do it again? Also, I kind of feel I wouldn’t be honoring my mom if I didn’t keep them, but what do I know?

Anyways, help! Am I an asshole?

Tattlers I need narcissist help. I’ve been dealing with my wealthy narc aunt pretty well of late - I’ve learned a lot here on how to deal with her. But she just pulled something and I need to take a poll. My mom passed away in August. My aunt wants things that were my mothers. My mom didn’t have a lot but she was content. Today out of the blue she said she wanted mom’s class ring and letter sweater. My aunt lost both her sweater and her ring. She’s also asking for gifts she gave my mom to be returned to her. Jewelry and such.

She can be very generous to family and absolute strangers, but I find this weird. Actually it pissed me off. It just felt out of line to me for her to even ask for those things. I would never ever do that. Now she’s mad at me I’m sure because I seem greedy and she’d give me far more than something like that and has. I don’t even really care about keeping those things, because what would I even do with them? But it just felt out of line. She said it’s not like it wouldn’t come back to you. All I can think of regarding that is you lost yours once, what’s to say you don’t do it again? Also, I kind of feel I wouldn’t be honoring my mom if I didn’t keep them, but what do I know?

Anyways, help! Am I an asshole?

Why not tell her that your mother really treasured those things and you need to keep them to remember her. Then tell your aunt that she can come over and look at them and chat about your mother whenever she wants to.

 

[LittleMore Cottage]

@LittleMore Cottage, you might like Jerri Lander's Hop Along Hollow vlogs.
She recently built a greenhouse on the side of her home. It's very rustic.

Thank you I will check it out always up for interesting building or cooking vlogs

 

[HalcyonOrganic]

Thank you I will check it out always up for interesting building or cooking vlogs

 

[Karma baby!]

Tattlers I need narcissist help. I’ve been dealing with my wealthy narc aunt pretty well of late - I’ve learned a lot here on how to deal with her. But she just pulled something and I need to take a poll. My mom passed away in August. My aunt wants things that were my mothers. My mom didn’t have a lot but she was content. Today out of the blue she said she wanted mom’s class ring and letter sweater. My aunt lost both her sweater and her ring. She’s also asking for gifts she gave my mom to be returned to her. Jewelry and such.

She can be very generous to family and absolute strangers, but I find this weird. Actually it pissed me off. It just felt out of line to me for her to even ask for those things. I would never ever do that. Now she’s mad at me I’m sure because I seem greedy and she’d give me far more than something like that and has. I don’t even really care about keeping those things, because what would I even do with them? But it just felt out of line. She said it’s not like it wouldn’t come back to you. All I can think of regarding that is you lost yours once, what’s to say you don’t do it again? Also, I kind of feel I wouldn’t be honoring my mom if I didn’t keep them, but what do I know?

Anyways, help! Am I an asshole?

Ok… now we’re on Reddit
.
.
NTA.
it is in (at least) very poor taste to ask for gifts back, or to go after things that weren’t left to you by a deceased person.

But I say this, for your own sanity If you don’t have any sentimental attachment to these items, or not planning to use them (which you kinda said you don’t), just let them go. I gathered from your explanation that she is generous towards you and will eventually leave those things to you.
Maybe the reason she is asking is that she has a sentimental attachment to them….

Sorry for your loss!
.
.
Back to our regular programming…

 

[Gertrude Maud]

OMG, I love her. I also use her video playlists to help me calm down and sleep.

I love her too!

 

[KyBourbon]

Tattlers I need narcissist help. I’ve been dealing with my wealthy narc aunt pretty well of late - I’ve learned a lot here on how to deal with her. But she just pulled something and I need to take a poll. My mom passed away in August. My aunt wants things that were my mothers. My mom didn’t have a lot but she was content. Today out of the blue she said she wanted mom’s class ring and letter sweater. My aunt lost both her sweater and her ring. She’s also asking for gifts she gave my mom to be returned to her. Jewelry and such.

She can be very generous to family and absolute strangers, but I find this weird. Actually it pissed me off. It just felt out of line to me for her to even ask for those things. I would never ever do that. Now she’s mad at me I’m sure because I seem greedy and she’d give me far more than something like that and has. I don’t even really care about keeping those things, because what would I even do with them? But it just felt out of line. She said it’s not like it wouldn’t come back to you. All I can think of regarding that is you lost yours once, what’s to say you don’t do it again? Also, I kind of feel I wouldn’t be honoring my mom if I didn’t keep them, but what do I know?

Anyways, help! Am I an asshole?

No, you’re not. Your aunt’s request was rude and also very odd. I’m assuming she’s an older lady…why would she want something from high school that wasn’t even hers? I went to high school and moved on…she should, too! Secondly…asking you to return gifts? That’s incredibly poor taste. I didn’t realize gifts were returned when someone died. I’m dumbfounded…but, then again, nothing a narcissist does is surprising. Her reaction when you said “no” tells you everything you need to know. She’ll try to use emotional manipulation…don’t fall for it. She was your mother…you don’t have to explain or justify your decision to your aunt.

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

Cedar wood and lavender I had them attack a newly upholstered chair they always go for the good stuff

All my drawers and the linen press are line with cedar with lavender sachets. All my hangers are cedar as well. I added little hooks throughout my closets on which to hang more lavender sachets. Periodically you have to refresh them. And get a good tailor that can do reweaving. Staph’s ridiculous cashmere patches were unnecessary. Even a half-assed tailor could’ve fixed those, but then she wouldn’t be the poor ragged chatelaine the patrons love to rescue.

I watched Dan's daily vlog #1. For me, daily vlog only. Not going to watch again. He's a 4tb rate Billy P. Maybe 16th rate. No more château wreck. Yiyiyiyiyi..... I'm certainly not going to contribute, directly or indirectly to this hideous loser's bank balance. What is Fanny infecting these people with? A virus to destruction? Yiyiyiyiyi...

It’s the self sabotage gene she’s injecting them with!

Tattlers I need narcissist help. I’ve been dealing with my wealthy narc aunt pretty well of late - I’ve learned a lot here on how to deal with her. But she just pulled something and I need to take a poll. My mom passed away in August. My aunt wants things that were my mothers. My mom didn’t have a lot but she was content. Today out of the blue she said she wanted mom’s class ring and letter sweater. My aunt lost both her sweater and her ring. She’s also asking for gifts she gave my mom to be returned to her. Jewelry and such.

She can be very generous to family and absolute strangers, but I find this weird. Actually it pissed me off. It just felt out of line to me for her to even ask for those things. I would never ever do that. Now she’s mad at me I’m sure because I seem greedy and she’d give me far more than something like that and has. I don’t even really care about keeping those things, because what would I even do with them? But it just felt out of line. She said it’s not like it wouldn’t come back to you. All I can think of regarding that is you lost yours once, what’s to say you don’t do it again? Also, I kind of feel I wouldn’t be honoring my mom if I didn’t keep them, but what do I know?

Anyways, help! Am I an asshole?

To a non-narcissist it would seem untoward and out of line. The only one whose feelings matter in this are yours. If you think it would have been important to your mother for you to have those things then keep them. If she would have complied with your aunt’s request, then by all means do the same. I think what matters is how you feel your mom would’ve wanted you to react. That’s how you can honor her memory. But whatever you do, be true to yourself and stick to your guns.

 

[TorontoGWM]

New thread title…

2023 is Already Looking Great - the Chateau Might Collapse and the Gay Twink has Disappeared!

 

[Abuela]

@OhIDontKnow... you're not an asshole, go with your gut.

I agree with my 'cuz. If the gifts from her to your mom are of value sell the jewelry, if not gift the lot to a senior center as we know from Lalande grifts costume jewelry is much coveted. When my mom passed we gave an enormous amount of clothing and costume jewelry to Goodwill to share with others.

 

[Kickintheass]

Tattlers I need narcissist help. I’ve been dealing with my wealthy narc aunt pretty well of late - I’ve learned a lot here on how to deal with her. But she just pulled something and I need to take a poll. My mom passed away in August. My aunt wants things that were my mothers. My mom didn’t have a lot but she was content. Today out of the blue she said she wanted mom’s class ring and letter sweater. My aunt lost both her sweater and her ring. She’s also asking for gifts she gave my mom to be returned to her. Jewelry and such.

She can be very generous to family and absolute strangers, but I find this weird. Actually it pissed me off. It just felt out of line to me for her to even ask for those things. I would never ever do that. Now she’s mad at me I’m sure because I seem greedy and she’d give me far more than something like that and has. I don’t even really care about keeping those things, because what would I even do with them? But it just felt out of line. She said it’s not like it wouldn’t come back to you. All I can think of regarding that is you lost yours once, what’s to say you don’t do it again? Also, I kind of feel I wouldn’t be honoring my mom if I didn’t keep them, but what do I know?

Anyways, help! Am I an asshole?

I would say that you are distributing your mum's possessions as per her instructions/will.

 

[UvulaDonor]

I have rare 19th Century Persian Carpets. Most are wool and some a wool/silk mix. When I get them professionally cleaned they treat them with something that deters moths for 3 years. They guarantee it, even a carpet valued at around £75k. So they must be confident.
They won't tell me what it is. Maybe you could ask a Persian carpet cleaner. Mine charge me around £500 - ,£1000 to clean a carpet and treat it so obviously they don't want to lose me as a customer.
The Metropolitan Museum freezes their carpets for a week, thaws them for a week and then freezes them again for a week. That gets rid of the moths and eggs. I read that in the old days they would put the carpets out in the snow and let them freeze.

Have you googled this?
I often find out mystery stuff by googling - I can't help myself.

 

[KyBourbon]

Tattlers I need narcissist help. I’ve been dealing with my wealthy narc aunt pretty well of late - I’ve learned a lot here on how to deal with her. But she just pulled something and I need to take a poll. My mom passed away in August. My aunt wants things that were my mothers. My mom didn’t have a lot but she was content. Today out of the blue she said she wanted mom’s class ring and letter sweater. My aunt lost both her sweater and her ring. She’s also asking for gifts she gave my mom to be returned to her. Jewelry and such.

She can be very generous to family and absolute strangers, but I find this weird. Actually it pissed me off. It just felt out of line to me for her to even ask for those things. I would never ever do that. Now she’s mad at me I’m sure because I seem greedy and she’d give me far more than something like that and has. I don’t even really care about keeping those things, because what would I even do with them? But it just felt out of line. She said it’s not like it wouldn’t come back to you. All I can think of regarding that is you lost yours once, what’s to say you don’t do it again? Also, I kind of feel I wouldn’t be honoring my mom if I didn’t keep them, but what do I know?

Anyways, help! Am I an asshole?

One other thing…If your aunt is a narc, maybe she didn’t lose her own class sweater and ring. Maybe she didn’t have one, or perhaps coveted your mother’s. Now that your mom has passed away, she can finally “claim” them…something she’s wanted for a long time. In her twisted narc mind, it’s like she “won.” Or, it might not even be about the sweater and ring…it could be about a boy your mom dated in school, or your aunt was jealous of your mom in school for some reason. And getting your mom’s sweater and ring after all these years is her way of “winning.” Narcs are sick and twisted like that.

 

[Sasha Groves]

I’m pleased to say Ruby looks well, I do worry about those animals.

I’m not sure who field.focused is but I’m betting they are keeping the place running along with Salty Sea Slug (is that Sabine?) while Fanny is away.

 

[billybudd]

Tattlers I need narcissist help. I’ve been dealing with my wealthy narc aunt pretty well of late - I’ve learned a lot here on how to deal with her. But she just pulled something and I need to take a poll. My mom passed away in August. My aunt wants things that were my mothers. My mom didn’t have a lot but she was content. Today out of the blue she said she wanted mom’s class ring and letter sweater. My aunt lost both her sweater and her ring. She’s also asking for gifts she gave my mom to be returned to her. Jewelry and such.

She can be very generous to family and absolute strangers, but I find this weird. Actually it pissed me off. It just felt out of line to me for her to even ask for those things. I would never ever do that. Now she’s mad at me I’m sure because I seem greedy and she’d give me far more than something like that and has. I don’t even really care about keeping those things, because what would I even do with them? But it just felt out of line. She said it’s not like it wouldn’t come back to you. All I can think of regarding that is you lost yours once, what’s to say you don’t do it again? Also, I kind of feel I wouldn’t be honoring my mom if I didn’t keep them, but what do I know?

Anyways, help! Am I an asshole?

I don't think so. She's asking for things super personal to your mother -- things your mother earned and wore to replace things your aunt thought so little of as to lose them. And by asking for the gifts back she's making it clear they weren't gifts, but obligations/enmeshment.
I would not concede. I'd think of a generous legacy your mother, in the best of all possible worlds, would like to have left her loving sister to remember their good times together. Ask your mama, she will help. You could sell the things if you don't want them and make a contribution to charity in your aunt's name? The United Negro College Fund is always a good place to start.
A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

United Negro College Fund Home Page - UNCF

UNCF empowers more students more than 50,000 students to get to and through college each year.

uncf.org

 

[Pekey]

or if you have bed bugs

Bloody hell .......... Fanny needs to order more Fridges !!! That place is full of them!

 

[Gertrude Maud]

Bloody hell .......... Fanny needs to order more Fridges !!! That place is full of them!

. . . . really big fridges.