The Chateau Diaries #162 Fannyfarm's infamous fiasco of fishy foul freaky & feckless faithless fandangos

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Congratulations @CountessPompidoo for naming the thread. My apologies for not remembering you were owed a thread. Despite being a bottom, I like to stay on top of things.
And an honourable mention to @Definitely Maybe who came up with the thread title.

Previously on The Stephanie Jarvis Comedy Show:
- Stephanie had an almost mea culpa regarding the convertible, but nobody puts daaaahrling in a corner.
- Rumours are flying that she took a ChateauDIY producer to bed, I guess that is why she's still featured.
- The big room has not progressed, because it is more fun to do découpage...

Most liked posts from the previous thread:



Jules100

VIP Member

Thursday at 11:52 PM
@HalcyonOrganic, I hope you will enjoy this lovely bespoke coaster with your fancy Christmas wine in the finished gardener’s cottage with Baby.
48BBB780-2CA0-4FD4-B260-B2EF04D77672.jpeg


Special edition cheesy bootleg daddy’s tile #2. *might have been peed on.
9C736CEB-ED26-49E6-96D3-290BA145877A.jpeg


Almost done. ❤

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Still in awe of my tile @Jules100 💗



Jeeves

VIP Member

Friday at 5:28 PM
Summerbaby said:
I agree. But, if a new genuine member they would at least have given more background info in connection with their comments. Radio silence in that area!
In any event, reported to moderators because no real substance or examples of what the poster actually had evidence.
Tattle Life needs facts, not just random comments from newly joined "randoms" without back up facts or, substance. :devilish:
This seems rather heavy handed! Plenty of Tattlers give their opinions without providing evidence - the reader is free to choose what they accept. One inoffensive post isn't enough to make a judgement of authenticity.
The poster may have very valid reasons wy they do not give more background info - similar to Clara. The "tradition" of new members being required to introduce themselves and to tell how they found these Tattles threads is relatively new. It certainly wasn't the case at the start of these threads and is entirely up to individuals if they wish to share.

Last edited: Friday at 5:47 PM
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Trengilly

Chatty Member

Saturday at 7:33 AM
OhIDontKnow... said:
Here it is. I don’t recall her explaining anything about Daddy’s art, but boy oh boy she’s hopped up in this one. She was giddy talking about the piece of furniture she bought at the Givenchy sale, I don’t remember who called it, but you were absolutely correct. She even went to the preview in Paris. She’s a dirty little secret shopper. This video was completely disgusting. Enjoy.

Click to expand...
Truly disgusting waste of money for their own vanity. That insidious Phyllis continues to annoy with his serpent like demeanor, playing decoration with a unsealed illustration of the grand salon with printouts. What idiots these two are?!
They’re both so dumb - the chateau never had any significant interiors because the building just wasn’t important enough. If there were they simply would have remained in some shape or form if there were something of significance - just a fact. Look at that crumbling fireplace beneath the terrace - which they want to reuse, but still haven’t sent out for restoration, why? - even that has survived albeit severely damaged.
Then there is this purchase of the secrétaire. Stephanie claims to have saved up for a while, but not for a specific item from the sale, instead just to own anything from Hubert de Givenchy. It smacks of desperation, yet again, exhibiting behaviour that’s suggests she’s all about kudos points and bragging rights. It’s no different from walking around in a hoody with Balenciaga printed on the front. She’s a label bleep, believing it gives her cultural capital… the ridiculous thing is that she claims that the secrétaire may well not even end up in the room because the wood is too dark. Great!
Meanwhile, the HMN, still has electrical issues (with Clara suggesting it doesn’t meet fire safety regulations; the ongoing heating saga; the terrace stairs remain a death trap; the chapel restorer is still unpaid and the building remains in ruins; the lake isn’t restored; the windows remain rotten; the “natural swimming pool” remains drained without permits; the façade still a flight of fancy; apartments still unfinished; pergola unfinished; upstairs bathroom unfinished; boudoir unfinished; etc… it’s just unbelievable that SJ would even consider buying furniture at this stage. She’s following the C4 format with a grand reveal of a room so she can present before and after, all the while, the rest of the building structure is compromised. It’s just all vanity and ego mania. I cannot believe I gave her money, I just can’t believe it happened. It’s oh so clear to me now that she is a confidence trickster to the core.

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Drag her!



Lady Avonlea

VIP Member

Saturday at 6:18 PM
Chloe Hutton, if you walk among us, please stand up a take a bow!!! Bravo!!! 👏👏👏

Chloe Hutton
I am pleased you're excited it is a great feeling when doing up a property the rush you get. I have just done a major renovation on my house and like you get so excited about the finishes but I did the structural and necessary stuff first, heating, rewiring, plumbing etc etc. A few weeks ago we hear about the heating and how expensive it is going to be and you wouldn't be able to switch it on. In the last few months you have bought a very pricey vase, a pergola from Chelsea Flower show and now the secrétaire equating to about 18k give or take. You state in the video you didn't know what you were going to buy but wanted something and have obviously paid a premium because it was from the Givenchy sale a strange choice when so much at your place needs doing and you keep saying money is an issue. I am making myself laugh now because at this point I sound like my husband to me-the difference being I wasn't asking others to fund my renovation. I know I will get jumped on but it is about priorities I suppose and whether the idea is to decorate or actually renovate the Chateau. I have given good advice in the past I hope about accounting systems and other things, if the idea is to renovate tackle these jobs in order. I love the vlogs but lately it all just seems to be tidying and shopping and sometimes on a major scale bordering on conspicuous consumption. It is your house and your money but I think in the current economic climate people may start wondering what they are giving money to you when you obviously you have a very high disposable income. I give to Patreon because I skip the ads and thought that I should contribute to your making the content. I am all about straight talking and I just wanted to say this openly there seems to be not a lot of progress on actual jobs and what you said was going to be the priority for this year. I am an interior design junky and like you study books and love antiques but I think the key to good design is to have a room look as though it has evolved over time so I grasp your thinking. I sound like I am wanting to be your Mum here but the advice given is well intended and I hope it is taken as just that.
7
8h

Ruth Ballott
Very well said, Chloe. And I don't think that we are alone in wondering just what the priorities are. I was very disappointed about the heating - apart from any other consideration, a well-heated house must be of benefit to the fabric of the building.
5
6h

Carolyn Padula
Agree with much of what you say. However I find myself wondering if part of the "frustration" is due to so many "secret" projects being done that we're not able to see progress on until they have been aired on Channel 4? Have no doubt that everyone is working very hard as usual, but too often we cant see what they are working on. Personally, that is something I find frustrating at times. I'd like to see more projects being done. For example, what has happened to Nattie's apartment? How is the work on the pergola and capping the stone walls around the moat and walled garden going? Would love to see how the gardens and woods behing the chapel are doing. Or has work been slowed down due to it being the B&B season? All renovations take time, especially with so large and old a building. The heating issue must be a priority and I'm sure is.
2
2h

Chloe Hutton
I just really want to see stuff that was promised or started progress, the pink bathroom was all but done and would love to see the wallpaper go up, still waiting on the china pantry and there was all the talk on getting copy of the blue oiseaux wallpaper, what happened to that project? It doesn't need builders or a Chapel restorer? I also thought Amaury planned all the paneling already? The room was stripped out months ago it just doesn't seem to make a lot of sense I don't want to sound like a naysayer and I know a lot has been done in the garden and Marquis apartment but a lot of the stuff I mentioned was planned for this year and we are in July and none of it is going forward. I. have found doing my house renovation which is a big job (not a chateau) that getting stuff done with a plan, a budget, in the right order really saves a lot of time and money, I recently had a bedroom replastered for expediency (because the plasterer was in) but I should have waited as the window has leaked and I need to get the carpenter to remake a new window as it is on the second floor and literally shot as is the new plaster now, so I know we all make mistakes because the task is big or we just want to get it done. I like to stick to a schedule and finish each task and move onto the next ordinarily and that has served me well. Heating, plumbing, roof and re-wiring the whole house were all first and getting the place sound and watertight. All boring but no point putting up expensive wallpaper and beautiful furniture in a damp space.
2

Patricia Beveridge
Sadly I must agree with Chloe. During 2022 there has been a lot of shopping & decoration, but very little building works and renovation happening, and projects financially supported by patrons aren't revealed for months because of Channel4 filming.

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Just Grift Wood

Active member

Friday at 7:37 AM
a true whack. job
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Carol Weaver
5 hours ago
Wonder if anyone has thought about Stephanie and Philip Dolls. **With wardrobes and dancing, and programming of various events and outdoor work. Just all different things Stephanie and Philip may do! I would get a Patent but I do not know how. I think someone should IF Stephanie and Philip agreed, and yes, they go begin a line of selling the dolls like Barbie dolls used to be sold!?** It must be passed through Stephanie and Philip of course before anything begins but think it may be a wonderful thing to do and it will help give money to go for Chateau de Lalande and some to the ones who have the patent, of course, and doing the work of having everything made. It may well be fun for young girls to think they are playing in a castle and with furniture in a "Doll House" Like Chateau de La Lande!? I would love to be the person patenting it all, and getting it all done but not sure how or money to start it all. I do think it would be so exciting and a grand % of the money can go to Chateau de LaLande for money from ME and also to help with different things they give to each month, and maybe to fix up the Chateau even more nad quicker!!?? Well, I say quicker, but I think Amaury and Aeon and Dan have probably enough and can only go so fast. So not sure how quickly but more can be done! Apartments finished AND a GREAT way of heating the house!!! I would love to get a heating system that would heat ""all of the Chateau ""and maybe, just maybe this selling of the dolls and houses etc would do it!???? Especially at Holiday times!? But inflation especially in U.S. may kill us a bit, but yet we may well do it and very, very well! I love this idea but not sure if Stephanie and Philip would and if anyone can make this happen and keep me in mind,... so my money can be given a % to Chateau de LaLande from ME! ... as a Patron! ( Just as I thought of it all and wanted it to happen and think it will work out such fun for young people and help the chateau and perhaps help, as my money or % of what is made, out of the proceeds would go to Chateau de LaLande as well!? But a % of it would help me become a Patron at a nice high level? I would be giving back as well This would be my way of giving! I think this would be a fun way for many more even to know about this Vlog and become patrons too! They follow what Stephanie and Philip wear and drive and how they live and the fun they have, and then move on with time to people who are volunteering or paid to work at chateau De Lalande as well and friends of Chateau de Lalande. But we must begin with Stephanie and Philip and the Chateau. Then family and friends and I think this might work out If all give consent before the dolls are made? Such fantastic cooks!! Done with such artistry! It getts nicer and nicer al lthe time! Love the 80's clothes with pads!

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Adding this:


Clara Burnett

VIP Member

Saturday at 7:21 AM
Sparrowsfart said:
@Clara Burnett I thought she was going to get rid of him? Is she waiting until he has sorted out the paneling first?
Oh, his future is set in the hardest of stones, believe me. The Snorting Squirrels Cameltoe thinks he's so clever in fooling everybody into thinking he actually does something, knows somethings, is something while in fact he himself has no clue of the magnitude of the hate people have for him and his disgusting display of contempt for all thats been given to him. He is like the piece of dog tit under ones shoe no-one likes to talk about out loud, but desperately tries to get rid off without being noticed and by doing so only drive more attention to it. I can't share the exact words Stephanie Jarvis used when she was recently asked about him and his future role at her asylum because it would easily chase back to my identity, but let me just repeat that it's very clear for all but the unpalatable boy himself that his days are eerily numbered.

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I can't believe that Philip is the Voldemort of château-verse, LOL. Stephanie can't write him off just yet. But seemingly he also can't have a redemption arc... LOL!

As always the wiki is free and for everybody's disposal. If you don't use it, Philip will arrive with his ginger hair and fondle your china - I don't make the rules, I'm just the messenger.
Happy Tattling. 💗
 
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Congratulations to all and kudos for another amazing tongue twister thread!!! (Just for the hell of it), "Where's that peck of pickled peters that phillip's pecker picked??" ...and fun was had by all!
 
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she definitely needs design help… she knows pretty when she sees it, but can’t create it herself! (And fights change about design!? Todays vlog showed the black painted wrought iron… gorgeous!!! Game changer!!! And she balked!?!? Because its always been white! Well it probably WAS black when first installed!!! Argh!). Davy made the point of tying it to the iron work of the pergola! Points!!! Yes, everything in your home should relate to each other design-wise! She balked.. “it’s150 meters away” - meanwhile she will notice that a greeting card has the same color or motif of the dress she’s wearing, or that someone’s scarf matches their bowling ball!… why cant she see it at home in the décor?!?

i like the little wedgewood room! I like the red turret with pigeon pics! I like the downstairs loo wallpaper!

shes almost got it in the kitchen… blue and white world! The problem is ALL the extra!!!
One has to CURATE!!! Each room should be allocated 3 colours… 1 dominate and 2 accents! (Every time I hear her say this room is _____ colour… she adds with touches of x and y and z and this pillow has A and the wallpaper has B and the rug has C and mummy loves D (oops, strike that.. reverse it! On we go!). Before you know it the room is a hob job!

My grandmother had clothing and retail stores “kind to kind and colour to colour!” (Not in a racist way… in a design way). And it works!
Which is why I let my clients pick their 3 colours!… I go a step further making them adhere to it completely… if you want a candle in the room… it has to be one of the 3 colours… if you buy a tooth brush.. buy it in one of the 3 colours! If you need hand soap or thumbtacks or post it notes… get them in one of the 3 colours!!! Along with looking nice cuz it matches you have the added bonus of when things get left out they still blend colour wise so things look better!!!

anywho… I also like PhiPhi’s bag vase! My Mom had a ceramic “grocery sack” in her kitchen in my childhood… she kept her utensils in it! I always loved it! I recently spotted it in her pantry and asked if I could have it! Yep! It was brown bag coloured and my 3 colours are black, white, & black… so I spray painted it white! I love it! Now I keep dog treats in it! Paaaarfect!

pS I know those more eagle eyed of you will notice my trio of Mrs Meyers soaps with green labels!… not black or white!!! I considered peeling the labels off or covering them or decanting them, but the bottles are black topped and frosted white and the labels are a classic design …. AND I actually change them out more than monthly to match the “seasons” so I allow that little pop of colour in my kitchen!!!

and yes…I remove shampoo and deodorant labels and I cover tubes of toothpaste with aluminum tape so they fit my esthetic!

instagram.com/jstaratlanta
Stephanie has said many times that she believes wrought iron should always be black, to other chateau owners or while she’s out shopping for crap. When a volunteer actually tried it at Lalande, she’s not so sure? It looked 100% better. Such an easy and inexpensive fix that took someone 17 years to get to. Stephanie is tacky and lazy.
 
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Any response from Stefanie on that Chloe ? on Patreon?
It appears Chloe's comments have been deleted. There's lots of glowing comments about Snorty's design prowess, Fanny's thrifty auction purchase of Givenchy's secretarie and most patrons seem to support Snorty's idea of knocking through a new door into the cellar. (The idiots forget that there's already a door to that cellar space where they store outdoor cushions and crap and they are not adding any extra storage).

However, not everyone is happy:

Ugly paneling -
Harlan Simpson

The paneling Has to get a fresh coat of paint. Ok to keep the same color but it is a mess. looks like it came out of an abandoned house. Not a good look

Mirrored shutters are tacky, will kill birds & are a fire hazard
Andrew S Wyse
Please reconsider the mirrored shutters. Mirrored office buildings wreak havoc with birds and errant sunrays both inside the salon and out on the terrace would be very annoying at various times of the day and in different seasons. And, IMHO...kinda tacky? Less is more.
9
Claudette Primeau
I don’t like the idea of mirrors on the shutters either.

Mary Ann Curtis
I would have concerns about mirrored panels facing outside, mainly because of potential bird strikes. Reflections from windows are confusing enough for birds but mirrors could be even more dangerous for them. I hope you'll reconsider. Otherwise, excited to see everything come together.
6

Stephanie Jarvis
The mirrors will definitely be distressed, so hopefully won’t cause too much of a reflection. We’ll hold one up before starting to gauge the effect.

Cellar Door Unnecessary & all the added work will further delay Amuary
Margaret Mourino
There is a door to the cellar already in the entrance hall. Don't open a new door. The dampness will be a concern and you have no heating.

Catherine H.
There is already an entrance to the cellar from the entry hall. Opening up the wall on the other side is a lot of extra work which will only extend the amount of work already required of Amaury to get this project started and completed. It has been a year already and only the insulation has been done due to being pulled to work on other projects.
3
 
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If Fanny wants decent robes made of 100% cotton she should look at https://desmondanddempsey.com they are more than double the price but sure she could blag or grift some freebies. Much more stylish that 100 stars

If Fanny wants decent robes made of 100% cotton she should look at https://desmondanddempsey.com they are more than double the price but sure she could blag or grift some freebies. Much more stylish that 100 stars
she could match her bloody expensive vase and stand in the jungle entrance hall and feel all exotic https://desmondanddempsey.com/colle...oducts/womens-slip-nightie-soleia-print-cream
 
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Stephanie has said many times that she believes wrought iron should always be black, to other chateau owners or while she’s out shopping for crap. When a volunteer actually tried it at Lalande, she’s not so sure? It looked 100% better. Such an easy and inexpensive fix that took someone 17 years to get to. Stephanie is tacky and lazy.
And, now phi phi la phew wants to gold leaf it. One of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard.
 
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Doesn't look like Ian the builder is returning anytime soon (more chance the heating will be installed before Ian returns)....

Jennifer Cochrane
Very exciting to hear an update in the Grand Salon. It just makes me more eager to know when Amaury will start work in there. Do you know roughly when Stephanie? I was also thinking about your comment in a recent vlog that the chateau is a demanding mistress but she also seems to have the uncanny ability to attract what you need to make her beautiful again. You, Philip and Amaury are just what the Grand Salon needs and specifically Philip is what you needed. Your sensibilities are so in tune. I do agree with some others though that the chateau also needs to be kept warm and you will need to balance your "fun" furniture purchases with the mundane but essential heating fund. Has Ian given any date for his return yet. I feel sorry for Natti still waiting for her private space and a love nest with Amaury!! I'm sure it's frustrating for all of you as Ian has been so much a part of Lalande.
6

Stephanie Jarvis
I agree with you, Lalande has been instrumental in her own renovation and has attracted the most wonderful period! We are definitely doing the heating, and work should be starting this autumn/winter 😊
 
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Doesn't look like Ian the builder is returning anytime soon (more chance the heating will be installed before Ian returns)....

Jennifer Cochrane
Very exciting to hear an update in the Grand Salon. It just makes me more eager to know when Amaury will start work in there. Do you know roughly when Stephanie? I was also thinking about your comment in a recent vlog that the chateau is a demanding mistress but she also seems to have the uncanny ability to attract what you need to make her beautiful again. You, Philip and Amaury are just what the Grand Salon needs and specifically Philip is what you needed. Your sensibilities are so in tune. I do agree with some others though that the chateau also needs to be kept warm and you will need to balance your "fun" furniture purchases with the mundane but essential heating fund. Has Ian given any date for his return yet. I feel sorry for Natti still waiting for her private space and a love nest with Amaury!! I'm sure it's frustrating for all of you as Ian has been so much a part of Lalande.
6

Stephanie Jarvis
I agree with you, Lalande has been instrumental in her own renovation and has attracted the most wonderful period! We are definitely doing the heating, and work should be starting this autumn/winter 😊
Like she was definitely doing the Chateau, Facade, Apartments, Bathroom, Bird wallpaper room, her office etc etc she is full of shite surprising after all that liquid courgette she is consuming

And, now phi phi la phew wants to gold leaf it. One of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard.
It would look bloody ridiculous they are just love a bit of bling it is not classy just crass and ostentatious
 
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Buckle up, the first sponsor is coming soon.....
Lenora Cooper
Also, while I know that the question was posed on, I believe last weeks Patreon video, about the extraordinarily high cost of updating the heating system throughout the Château and also future proofing for future outbuildings and future projects etc., if there’s any way that sponsorship could be avoided, only because you asked, that would be my preference.
4

John Hoel
I would also like to avoid sponsorships. I like to think that our patreon community is itself a sponsorship, which I gladly pay for. A sponsorship would feel in a way like an intrusion in the privacy of our community.
4

Stephanie Jarvis
I’ve already signed up for the first one 😬 Let’s see how it goes 🤞
 
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The video of Fanny and Sir Snorts a lot swinging their arms while holding hand reminds me of mothers escorting their young children to preschool.
 
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One of Fanny’s biggest and most long running lies has to be that she and Sir Snorts a Lot are in a sexually intimate relationship. There are not enough Brussels sprouts and pasta at LieLande to ever make me believe that they are a couple…… a couple of plonkers or con artists sure but never a real male/ female intimate relationship.
 
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Stephanie has said many times that she believes wrought iron should always be black, to other chateau owners or while she’s out shopping for crap. When a volunteer actually tried it at Lalande, she’s not so sure? It looked 100% better. Such an easy and inexpensive fix that took someone 17 years to get to. Stephanie is tacky and lazy.
I had not heard her tell other wrought iron should be black!!

of course it looked better! Glossy black or rusty dirty white?!?

but will they all get painted?!?!?

LaLande: projects go to die!

send them your handymen after your reno is finished!!!
 
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Thanks for the new thread @ComtesseRose and using the tongue twisting thread title @Definitely Maybe penned in one of her posts. I could never come up with anything that witty, and no apols needed, you do a grand job for us all !!

So just caught up with the latest CD bilge. I swear I heard someone (could be Anne Marie), say 'oh tit' when the courgette cake was announced Listed at 24.30ish :



Never mind all the courgettes courses, what's with the radishes on a piece of bread??? Is it because they look 'sooooo pretty'??
 
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As other tattlers have pointed out, Fanny has brought out the chicken cutlet inserts, the push up bras, and has unbuttoned rows of buttons to expose her heavily scaffolded breasts for filming. How sad that a show about chateau renovations may not be appropriate for viewing by children or deserves to have a parental rating when she appears onscreen.Is this for her producer’s enjoyment, to try to lure a sugar daddy, for her own exhibitionist pleasures?

I have always thought it was strange that Fanny would jack up her breasts and expose them constantly in videos with her relatives, e.g, the Tartan Terror, Percy and Mummy, Amaury, her aunt/uncle, etc. Fanny had definitely inherited the Daddy Derek inappropriate/pervert gene.
 
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It appears Chloe's comments have been deleted. There's lots of glowing comments about Snorty's design prowess, Fanny's thrifty auction purchase of Givenchy's secretarie and most patrons seem to support Snorty's idea of knocking through a new door into the cellar. (The idiots forget that there's already a door to that cellar space where they store outdoor cushions and crap and they are not adding any extra storage).

However, not everyone is happy:

Ugly paneling -
Harlan Simpson
The paneling Has to get a fresh coat of paint. Ok to keep the same color but it is a mess. looks like it came out of an abandoned house. Not a good look

Mirrored shutters are tacky, will kill birds & are a fire hazard
Andrew S Wyse
Please reconsider the mirrored shutters. Mirrored office buildings wreak havoc with birds and errant sunrays both inside the salon and out on the terrace would be very annoying at various times of the day and in different seasons. And, IMHO...kinda tacky? Less is more.
9
Claudette Primeau
I don’t like the idea of mirrors on the shutters either.

Mary Ann Curtis
I would have concerns about mirrored panels facing outside, mainly because of potential bird strikes. Reflections from windows are confusing enough for birds but mirrors could be even more dangerous for them. I hope you'll reconsider. Otherwise, excited to see everything come together.
6

Stephanie Jarvis
The mirrors will definitely be distressed, so hopefully won’t cause too much of a reflection. We’ll hold one up before starting to gauge the effect.

Cellar Door Unnecessary & all the added work will further delay Amuary
Margaret Mourino
There is a door to the cellar already in the entrance hall. Don't open a new door. The dampness will be a concern and you have no heating.

Catherine H.
There is already an entrance to the cellar from the entry hall. Opening up the wall on the other side is a lot of extra work which will only extend the amount of work already required of Amaury to get this project started and completed. It has been a year already and only the insulation has been done due to being pulled to work on other projects.
3

Classic Steffanee. She's going to dismiss all comments, concerns & suggestions isn't she. Those mirrors are going up, I'll put a fiver on it :rolleyes:
 
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