The Chateau Diaries #13 Tarts Budoir, a pushup bra and a smashed up car

[lolander]

Thank you @Vaffle for the new title.
Our marvelous @MojoDublin has kept revising the glossary.

tattle glossary

CD - The Chateau Diaries
Tarts boudoir - Chateau de Lalande
HNW - heap in the middle of nowhere
Flat 34B - bolt hole SJ

LOTL/LOTLL - Lady of the (Lost) Lake, aka Stephanie
SSB- She Who Shouts from the balcony, SJ
QBC- Queen of bed chambers - SJ
MB - Madame Boneyparts -SJ
SJ - Stephanie Jarvis
fan - Stephanie Jarvis

MMAF - Mad Man's Arse Face, i.e. mummy
Mini Apron - Isabel

Potty/MP - Michael Potts
Cinder-Ruth- MPotts current squeeze

Nitti/Nutty - Nati Oliveto

Floral Roadkill (FRK / RK) - Marie Wiik

BJJ - Baby Jesus Jeans, aka Philip Janssen
PP (Nostril of Lalande) - Prince Philip
UH - Uriah Heep - Philip
Renfield - Philip

MP/MP2/MPK - Michael Petherick (Sir Trotter)
MOLD - Man Of LOST Design
Crybaby - Michael Petherick
Trotter - any Petherick family reference
Ma Trotter - Sherrie Petherick
Pa Trotter - Mr Petherick Esq
PILF: The only Petherick I'd like to be filmed with - Pa Trotter

Dear Brenda/BG - Brenda Gibbons (superfan/Facebook admin) from Donegal Ireland
Karen Cbomb - other superfan/admin, Canada
Jumpsuit Jill - rabid serial deletor of unfan comments on premier chat

Donegals - Limericks (renamed in honour of Dear Brenda)
Agents - Tattlers who find out juicy background info

Chat O (or variations) - Chateau (how Brenda says it)
“BuyMeACoffee” - give me money (no, really, give me money, I really need it)

MBNS;GF - more boring narc stuff; gimme facts

PSDFHB - princess shouting down from her balcony
PRSDBP - princess in her robe shouting down from her balcony at the peasants

Wet Blanket - Fun hoover
Mickey Dodger - Woman who avoids sexual encounters

Thanks to @Rory for the SSB Main Squeeze Glossary:

1. Gregory Mason Clark - Husband and boyfriend, on and off at uni. SJ approx 18
2. Nic Larkin - apparently just friends at uni (but also dated according to CB?)
3. Married Husband 22-24???
4. Michael Potts met through Oliver Strong on and off 10 years. Open relationship in the end. Buys Chateau during relationship age 29.
5. Edmond Fokker van Craayenstein (player in tight trousers who pretends to be an aristocrat-BF with guy who said "let the 80 years-olds die off")
6. Mason Dwinell on and off (last we heard he is still staring at the sun?)
7. Ludwig Norweigner (otherwise known as Nordic Weirdo, alcoholic friend unceremoniously dumped at the train station without a ticket)
8. James Jardine (turned out to be "too much" for the girl who never has enough)
9. Various volunteers ad nauseum (bread oven guy Walton etc.)
10. BJJ (any port in a storm, eh Stephanie?)

 

[NorrisCS]

Thank you @Vaffle for the new title.
Our marvelous @MojoDublin has kept revising the glossary.

tattle glossary

CD - The Chateau Diaries
Tarts boudoir - Chateau de Lalande
HNW - heap in the middle of nowhere
Flat 34B - bolt hole SJ

LOTL/LOTLL - Lady of the (Lost) Lake, aka Stephanie
SSB- She Who Shouts from the balcony SJ
QBC- Queen of bed chambers - SJ
MB - Madame Boneyparts -SJ
SJ - Stephanie Jarvis
fan - Stephanie Jarvis

MMAF - Mad Man's Arse Face, i.e. mummy
Mini Apron - Isabel

Potty/MP - Michael Potts
Cinder-Ruth- MPotts current squeeze

Nitti/Nutty - Nati

Floral Roadkill (FRK / RK) Marie Wiik

BJJ - Baby Jesus Jeans, aka Philip
PP (Nostril of Lalande) - Prince Philip
UH - Uriah Heep - Philip
Renfield - Philip

MP/MP2 - Michael Petherick
MOLD - Man Of LOST Design
Crybaby - Michael Petherick
MPK - Michael Petherick (sir Trotter)
Trotter - any Petherick family reference
Ma Trotter - Sherrie Petherick
Pa Trotter - Mr Petherick Esq
PILF: The only Petherick I'd like to be filmed with - Pa Trotter

Dear Brenda/BG - Brenda Gibbons (superfan/Facebook admin) from Donegal Ireland
Karen Cbomb - other superfan/admin, Canada
Jumpsuit Jill - rabid serial deletor of unfan comments on premier chat

Donegals - Limericks (renamed in honour of Dear Brenda)
Agents - Tattlers who find out juicy background info

Chat O (or variations) - Chateau (how Brenda says it)
“BuyMeACoffee” - give me money (no, really, give me money, I really need it)

MBNS;GF - more boring narc stuff; gimme facts

PSDFHB - princess shouting down from her balcony
PRSDBP - princess in her robe shouting down from her balcony at the peasants

Wet Blanket - Fun hoover
Mickey Dodger - Woman who avoids sexual encounters

Thanks to @Rory for the SSB Main Squeeze Glossary:

1. Gregory Mason Clark - Husband and boyfriend, on and off at uni. SJ approx 18
2. Nic Larkin - apparently just friends at uni (but also dated according to CB?)
3. Married Husband 22-24???
4. Michael Potts met through Oliver Strong on and off 10 years. Open relationship in the end. Buys Chateau during relationship age 29.
5. Edmond Fokker van Craayenstein (player in tight trousers who pretends to be an aristocrat-BF with guy who said "let the 80 years-olds die off")
6. Mason Dwinell on and off (last we heard he is still staring at the sun?)
7. Ludwig Norweigner (otherwise known as Nordic Weirdo, alcoholic friend unceremoniously dumped at the train station without a ticket)
8. James Jardine (turned out to be "too much" for the girl who never has enough)
9. Various volunteers ad nauseum (bread oven guy Walton etc.)
10. BJJ (any port in a storm, eh Stephanie?)

Well done.. I was just going down the rabbit hole of "how to create a new thread"

 

[lolander]

A short recap? Anyone?

 

[Definitely Maybe]

Not a recap BUT I still don't know who MOLD is . Who is 'man of lost design' ? Michael Petherick ?

 

[frenchessence]

Thank you @Vaffle for the new title.
Our marvelous @MojoDublin has kept revising the glossary.

tattle glossary

CD - The Chateau Diaries
Tarts boudoir - Chateau de Lalande
HNW - heap in the middle of nowhere
Flat 34B - bolt hole SJ

LOTL/LOTLL - Lady of the (Lost) Lake, aka Stephanie
SSB- She Who Shouts from the balcony, SJ
QBC- Queen of bed chambers - SJ
MB - Madame Boneyparts -SJ
SJ - Stephanie Jarvis
fan - Stephanie Jarvis

MMAF - Mad Man's Arse Face, i.e. mummy
Mini Apron - Isabel

Potty/MP - Michael Potts
Cinder-Ruth- MPotts current squeeze

Nitti/Nutty - Nati Oliveto

Floral Roadkill (FRK / RK) - Marie Wiik

BJJ - Baby Jesus Jeans, aka Philip Janssen
PP (Nostril of Lalande) - Prince Philip
UH - Uriah Heep - Philip
Renfield - Philip

MP/MP2/MPK - Michael Petherick (Sir Trotter)
MOLD - Man Of LOST Design
Crybaby - Michael Petherick
Trotter - any Petherick family reference
Ma Trotter - Sherrie Petherick
Pa Trotter - Mr Petherick Esq
PILF: The only Petherick I'd like to be filmed with - Pa Trotter

Dear Brenda/BG - Brenda Gibbons (superfan/Facebook admin) from Donegal Ireland
Karen Cbomb - other superfan/admin, Canada
Jumpsuit Jill - rabid serial deletor of unfan comments on premier chat

Donegals - Limericks (renamed in honour of Dear Brenda)
Agents - Tattlers who find out juicy background info

Chat O (or variations) - Chateau (how Brenda says it)
“BuyMeACoffee” - give me money (no, really, give me money, I really need it)

MBNS;GF - more boring narc stuff; gimme facts

PSDFHB - princess shouting down from her balcony
PRSDBP - princess in her robe shouting down from her balcony at the peasants

Wet Blanket - Fun hoover
Mickey Dodger - Woman who avoids sexual encounters

Thanks to @Rory for the SSB Main Squeeze Glossary:

1. Gregory Mason Clark - Husband and boyfriend, on and off at uni. SJ approx 18
2. Nic Larkin - apparently just friends at uni (but also dated according to CB?)
3. Married Husband 22-24???
4. Michael Potts met through Oliver Strong on and off 10 years. Open relationship in the end. Buys Chateau during relationship age 29.
5. Edmond Fokker van Craayenstein (player in tight trousers who pretends to be an aristocrat-BF with guy who said "let the 80 years-olds die off")
6. Mason Dwinell on and off (last we heard he is still staring at the sun?)
7. Ludwig Norweigner (otherwise known as Nordic Weirdo, alcoholic friend unceremoniously dumped at the train station without a ticket)
8. James Jardine (turned out to be "too much" for the girl who never has enough)
9. Various volunteers ad nauseum (bread oven guy Walton etc.)
10. BJJ (any port in a storm, eh Stephanie?)

Such a lot of updating and thanks to @MojoDublin and @Rory. Newbies will find it impossible to understand fully what’s what and who’s who without doing a read-through and retain !

Not a recap BUT I still don't know who MOLD is . Who is 'man of lost design' ? Michael Petherick ?

Yes

 

[Pansygirl]

@Alice Strictknickers Not naked, lol!! I was on the stage there, their show in Berlin . Yes, really!

Well twas the case in London - always thought Berlin would be more permissive lol! (Hair opened in London immediately after the censorship laws were relaxed.

 

[Kickintheass]

Not a recap BUT I still don't know who MOLD is . Who is 'man of lost design' ? Michael Petherick ?

Yes. As per last week's vlog blaming D&A.

 

[TheTaxInspector]

The Shato Diarrhea

Let me introduce you all to the theory of cross-pollination ... SJ, the tentacular high priestess of greed, has now given her blessing to the owners of Château Le Fleur near Honfleur, so that they too can benefit further from the wonders of the tax-free dosh from Patreon and YouTube. All she/it had to do was to drive up there in a car with desperate-for-a-bloke Marie and the w**fter par excellence and the deed was done ... all the patrons went with her as they watched the vlog and will now no doubt be queuing up to give them tax-free dosh as well. And so the greed virus keeps on spreading... . The Petherdicks did exactly the same thing when they went down to Bordeaux recently.

 

[Definitely Maybe]

Thank you @frenchessence and @Kickintheass for clearing up the MOLD confusion !

 

[ploppityplop2]

Here’s a question that’s been on my mind. Where does Selmar dispose of his chemical toilet?

 

[Kickintheass]

As a former scout and still going on camping holidays when Covid will permit.. I will put forward a possible answer. The toilets in campervans are usually a cassette type that you add blueloo to which removes odours (widely available even from Lidl). This cassette is simply removed and dragged on its wheels. It can then be easily emptied down a sewer aj (access joint) which he would be familiar with in the Lalande grounds. Alternatively some towns in France have disposal points which he may use on his outings. The old-fashioned way scouts used was to dig a hole and empty the toilet bucket in it and fill the hole in. Always the job saved for the 'favoured one'. Some scouts didn't have buckets but a trench with two long logs (bark removed) for the percher and a handy trowel by the side of the removed clay to cover over your contribution. Not dissimilar to the ancient loos in Ephasus, Turkey.

 

[chillijam]

Or, long shot (pardon the pun), maybe he doesn't use it often? I travelled in a camper for several months and used the onboard toilet rarely, only when I had to, probably a couple of times. Basically because I hated dealing with it, sorry, it wasn't a big job but it was not nice. Selmar could easily pop inside.

 

[Anfield Annie]

I just convinced myself to watch the "big adventure " video and to whoever queried a previous comment in thread 12 about her tax status & living arrangements she clearly says in the first 55 seconds of the intro ..."I live here all the time...." so that makes her a FR resident and therefore France is where she should declare all of her global income..including rent on UK properties or income from other sources outside of FR,,,as well as inside of course

 

[ComtesseRose]

Here’s a question that’s been on my mind. Where does Selmar dispose of his chemical toilet?

The Moat...

 

[sailonsilvergirl]

SJ: Before the awfully big adventure, while looking at the big logs on the ground with Dan and contemplating what to do with more big logs to come, she said "bridge." Make a bridge.

ME: Looking over SJ's shoulder. At the actual chateau. At the shutters. What is going on there? Shutters missing. Shutters broken. Shutters dirty. Shutters too short, and like capri pants, they don't look good on long legged windows. Make shutters. Stephanie, make shutters!

Isn't redwood good for exterior wood? Let it dry out and mill and cut it and make unique shutters for the chateau. That would keep Selmar busy for a long time.

I have a question to understand something and maybe there are cultural differences. How do I ask this. Is it seen as okay among SJ's peer group and aspirational relationships (not her volunteers, I'm talking the friends she parties with, the men she spends time with, the people she wants to know) that her chateau is so shabby? Like does she not think that reflects on what they think about her? Maybe they don't care, it doesn't reflect on her? Or she thinks show you a bridge and you will ignore the house? I can't wrap my mind around why she hasn't prioritized things that make her home look SO BAD.

I will admit these questions and my judging of her might be because in the U.S. we're so damn house proud. Probably way too house proud. You don't let that happen to your house if you can afford to prevent it or fix it. There's something seriously wrong if a wealthy home does get run down like that, and everyone knows it. It's not just something wrong with the house, you think there's something wrong with the people.

How in the world does SJ justify this in her mind, and why is the outside so not worth investing in like she does on the inside?

 

[The Soloist]

The Shato Diarrhea

Let me introduce you all to the theory of cross-pollination ... SJ, the tentacular high priestess of greed, has now given her blessing to the owners of Château Le Fleur near Honfleur, so that they too can benefit further from the wonders of the tax-free dosh from Patreon and YouTube. All she/it had to do was to drive up there in a car with desperate-for-a-bloke Marie and the w**fter par excellence and the deed was done ... all the patrons went with her as they watched the vlog and will now no doubt be queuing up to give them tax-free dosh as well. And so the greed virus keeps on spreading... . The Petherdicks did exactly the same thing when they went down to Bordeaux recently.

I'm sure the multi talented SJ had a number of reasons to go Honfleur. Main one-any excuse to get out of the house. Second one to see if she can get the proper designer on board to collaborate with some decorating designs. Daddy's prints made into wallpaper perhaps for some Soho or Parisian seedy nightclub walls when they re-open. Or possibly to find out for her mate about copyright law.

 

[sailonsilvergirl]

The Chateau Diaries response about the Covid test questions is seriously depraved. It's concerned only with following the law. It's not at all concerned about people's responsibility to not spread the virus. Laws are lagging and often the minimal thing to do. They may go into lockdown again precisely because people refuse to do the right thing. The point is, do the right thing without needing a law to make you follow it. She doesn't understand this. This exposes lack of empathy for humans she's visiting. SJ needs better PR counsel if she wants to continue pulling wool over our eyes. We see you. We see you very clearly.

 

[The Soloist]

SJ: Before the awfully big adventure, while looking at the big logs on the ground with Dan and contemplating what to do with more big logs to come, she said "bridge." Make a bridge.

ME: Looking over SJ's shoulder. At the actual chateau. At the shutters. What is going on there? Shutters missing. Shutters broken. Shutters dirty. Shutters too short, and like capri pants, they don't look good on long legged windows. Make shutters. Stephanie, make shutters!

Isn't redwood good for exterior wood? Let it dry out and mill and cut it and make unique shutters for the chateau. That would keep Selmar busy for a long time.

I have a question to understand something and maybe there are cultural differences. How do I ask this. Is it seen as okay among SJ's peer group and aspirational relationships (not her volunteers, I'm talking the friends she parties with, the men she spends time with, the people she wants to know) that her chateau is so shabby? Like does she not think that reflects on what they think about her? Maybe they don't care, it doesn't reflect on her? Or she thinks show you a bridge and you will ignore the house? I can't wrap my mind around why she hasn't prioritized things that make her home look SO BAD.

I will admit these questions and my judging of her might be because in the U.S. we're so damn house proud. Probably way too house proud. You don't let that happen to your house if you can afford to prevent it or fix it. There's something seriously wrong if a wealthy home does get run down like that, and everyone knows it. It's not just something wrong with the house, you think there's something wrong with the people.

How in the world does SJ justify this in her mind, and why is the outside so not worth investing in like she does on the inside?

I think the lack of investment has not been just financial it has been emotional too. If you do not spend all your life in one place maybe you miss the things that are wrong with it. If it is just treated as just one of many holiday homes, then all you need to focus on superficial things. So her suite gets the Ritz bed & the copper bath. She rarely ventures outside, so probably doesn't notice the shutters & the plaster falling off. The gravelling of the drive was classic tarting up. I mean, it has to look pretty for her to look at from her balcony doesn't it.

 

[Espe]

SJ hasn't done herself any favours by filming at Le Fleur. Both Marie, & even Philip, made it clear that they liked the good taste and comfort of that chateau. The vlog reinforces what most people had already noticed if they'd seen Le Fleur vlogs: that it is being carefully and beautifully restored, that it's warm, comfortable and uncluttered and that the owners are modest and likeable and are doing most of the work themselves. OK, so they'll also benefit from Patreon and more exposure but I would have thought that most sane people would see that they are far more deserving of support that LOTL. Marie's feedback clearly shows her pent up anger and unhappiness from being at CLL and may not have done her any good, either. She has benefited from her exposure on SJ's vlogs but, underneath, she may also feel that she has been harmed by being there and by SJ's changing affections in the ongoing soap opera that is life at CLL. I tend to think that many of the lost souls who find their way to la Lande become corrupted just by being part of the charade and they may eventually realise this. Even Selmar may start to wake up to it. BJJ and, possibly Natti, may be the only ones happy to remain. SJ not only defiles a building but also, other people by association, and by using and exposing them in the way she does.

She may also think she has more in common with the le Fleur couple and people like forner doctor, Erin, and her husband, than she has with others such as The Pethericks and D & A but, in reality, her taste and acquisitive nature are far more akin to the latter. She may have been to Oxford but Erin, and the le Fleur couple, have all used their education and training in a professional capacity and have contributed to society and earned their own living in the past. The la Lande chatelaine has never done that!

 

[Anfield Annie]

I just convinced myself to watch the "big adventure " video and to whoever queried a previous comment in thread 12 about her tax status & living arrangements she clearly says in the first 55 seconds of the intro ..."I live here all the time...." so that makes her a FR resident and therefore France is where she should declare all of her global income..including rent on UK properties or income from other sources outside of FR,,,as well as inside of course

quoting myself here ...I meant to add that the rules for what is classed as 'being a resident' in FR , for tax purposes is anyone, no matter their origins or status elsewhere will be considered a resident the minute they go over 183 days (per calendar year) of being in the country & by the way that means just being 'on Fr soil" ...even if the property you reside in isn't yours so you don't have to be a homeowner here.