Teen Mum UK #3

[InstaFamous]

View attachment 128487Megan's bath mats £15 for the set , that's Chanel darling, oh so sophisticated. Chavtastic

Picture the scene. It’s 11.30pm. It could be a weekend or a weekday, you don’t know. You don’t work so there’s no need to differentiate between them, really. You’re hanging out with your best mate Megan in her flat. You met her when she did your Russian volume lashes for you (a set and a half please, doll) and you hit it off. Some of her kids are still up; you’re not sure how many she has but there’s always at least one making a noise whenever you’re over. They’re running about in their vests, and Megan’s threatening to send them to bed but not actually moving off the sofa she’s lounging on. There are toys everywhere. Piles of plastic tat she picked up for them one day in B&M to shut them up whilst she browsed the zoflora section. There’s also a few black bin bags scattered about - are they full of old clothes? Toys? Rubbish? You don’t know and they never seem to get taken out anyway. Megan is having a fag and a warm glass of rose - shes dead sophisticated, you think.

But still...something doesn’t seem right. Should the kids be up this late? Is this all there is to life - a cramped two bed flat and an unending cycle of reproducing? Topping up your income with a few OnlyFans picture sets? Mouthing off about your exes new woman online? Maybe, just maybe, there’s more out there. You could go back to college - you always wanted to work in a bank after all. Maybe see what happens. Start with a proper routine in your life. Maybe give up the smokes, you know? Try for something a bit better.

You’ve been downing Blossom Hill, though, and you need a piss. You climb over toys to get to the bathroom. You’re thinking you’ll maybe check about enrolling in college tomorrow, maybe pop down and speak to someone in the college office, when suddenly....

In the bathroom.
A CHANEL bathroom set.
imagine that.
having CHANEL in your BATHROOM.
bloody hell.
megan must be LOADED.

Sod college. Sod getting up at 7am instead of midday. You thought maybe she wasn’t all that but now...oh now, you know this is life. This is success.

 

[InstaFamous]

I’ll never forget when Sassi wanted to be a plasterer, so her mum said she could do her basement. Sassi got upset about something (probably DAA-RIN) and she was in her overalls, throwing plaster at the wall and crying. My husband always asks if we can watch “the show where that girl was having a breakdown when she was spackling a basement”. Bless her.

 

[nittygrittyditty91]

Oh god, anyone just seen Megan’s story on IG “delivery day”... a Chanel toilet seat cover.... yeh love I don’t think Coco Chanel designed toilet seat covers and floor mats meg babes.

 

[elloelloello]

I LOV YER FROM THE BOTTOM OF MA HARRRRT

 

[misslaurennightingale@yah]

He’s definitely an improvement on Dylan

Agreed. Dylans hair used to give me nightmares. He looks like one of the guys that work on the waltzers at funfairs

 

[Snoopdagg]

"Because Jordan gets SOOOOOO much female attention..."
HOW?
WHY?
FROM WHO?

Probably young girls 16/17 etc who think he is great for being on TV.
I'm not convinced anyone would look at who he has become now (lazy, cheating, miserable, slob) and think "MMM PROSPECTS!"

 

[Georgethecat]

Just remembered, wasn't Dylan's mum killed in a car accident?! And that's how Megan is acting around car safety. You'd think after losing their gran she would take things a bit more seriously

 

[Titntat]

Wtf is that

Looks like the breakfast my 5 y/o would come back with on an all inclusive to Canary Islands

 

[Papayya]

Honestly Ste and Amber's scenes could be from any season, they're literally all the same

 

[Hjade97]

wish someone screenshotted Chloe’s breakfast she must of deleted it and I missed it

 

[urghmummybloggers]

I don’t get the hate Billie gets on here. She’s a 30 year old woman who’s decided to profit off her body.

She’s not being trafficked, she likes the way she looks and she clearly must make some money from it. If I didn’t care about my reputation and the fact the internet is forever, I’d probably have a crack at it.

I don’t think sex work is all the shameful in my eyes. She’s not hurting anyone.

 

[Jennytea]

Dylan’s voice over on lastnights ep : ‘We haven’t told Megan that Carters been born, but I have a feeling she will find out’
No shit Sherlock she’s gonna suspect something when Ree-Ann has been pregnant for 3 years and wonder where their kid is

 

[Kindred_]

I know it’s petty but all of Megan’s side have proper odd surnames and it gets to me

Salmon-Ferrari
Swaby
Siggers
Nagle

Ugly names man

 

[Trey93]

I must be the only one who doesn’t think Darren was fit or that he and Sassi were a good couple. They were a nightmare together although they both clearly love Zenaya very much

 

[Greenhoodie]

I think Dylan and Reanne not telling Megan about the baby was really spiteful . Whilst she shouldn’t be the first person told , like they said , they should have still told her so that she can make sure the kids are feeling ok . When newborns come it can have an impact on siblings . Whilst they were trying to create the picture that they don’t care about Megan - them actively deciding not to tell her says someone different . Also I think Reanne looks well skanky and you can see she is jealous of Megan now . Now Megan is happy with someone else , she hasn’t got one over on her.

 

[Snoopdagg]

Darren is by far the best looking of all the Dads.
Worst for me is that Nasseh No idea what Emma saw in him. No personality, not a looker, failed rap career.

 

[Jennytea]

Probably unpopular and it’s the same in my daughters school for some reason but why is it a sudden trend for little boys to have long hair , with the cut in fringes. It is such a pet peeve of mine lmao! surely having a boy means you have the luxury of being able to cut it short and neat! Marley is so cute but seeing his fringe on Chloe’s story’s makes me cringe . Same as ambers little boy

 

[Fishnips]

Oh my gosh all of the above! Me and my other half were pissing ourselves at the singing teacher looking like she was all out of fucks to give about Chloes life story and I can understand Ste wanting access to his son and I even agree that Ambers mum treated him less like the babies dad and more like his babysitter but the comment he made about her breastfeeding made my blood boil. He should focus more on keeping his feelings in check and then she might be comfortable enough to let him in and be around a bit more. Not cool at all.

I wanted Amber to turn round and say "No I fidntbthink about you because it's fuck all to do with you, it's to do with Hudson"
Why wouldn't a father want that for his baby if it's possible and mum is happy to breastfeed?
Selfish prick.

Honestly think I'm pregnant again given how enraged I'm getting over Teen Mom lately. Might put my cv into MTV

TMUK drinking game: Take a shot every time Ste and Amber argue, Megan wants a baby, and Chloe mentions that she has a mortgage.

Just kidding. You'd die.

 

[Fishnips]

Far too much for an adult let alone two kids under 7!

I dread eating Chinese in the presence of people with that attitude cause I'd eat twice that and a mountain of prawn crackers.

But I agree maybe too much for kids. Doubt they have it every day though so no harm.

 

[Wec0201]

I’m sick of seeing Jordan on the PS4 so I can’t even imagine how Chloe feels about it