Tattle Tots

Ranty McRantington · Apr 18, 2020

So, having recently found out I am 'up 'duff', I thought I'd create a thread relating to all of us Tattlers that are either expecting or already have children.

I hate all the usual 'Mummy Forums' as I am honest, very straight talking and have quite a dark humour. I always find 'Mummy Forums' very wishy-washy, and full of people talking about their darling children. Talking about motherhood in a very untruthful 'perfect parent' type of way. That is just not me!

Parenting is not full of fluffy clouds, dancing unicorns and bright rainbows 24/7. Kids can be little ***** that make you want to bash your head off a brick wall, because they're smashing their head off the kitchen floor because they're not allowed yet another chocolate bloody biscuit, just me!?

I sincerely hope not. So if anyone else wants a thread for a bit of straight talking parenting, with a shot of humour, please join me.

As since joining Tattle, only recently to lose my tit over Mrs 'Im a twit' Hinch, I have found that you guys are definitely a bit of me!

Well done if you're still awake after all that rambling.

I hope I'm allowed to do this!

So, I'll start us off!

I'm Lorna, I have just found out I am pregnant (5 weeks - due December) after being told I was infirtile 3 months ago!

I have two children William (9) and Sofia (2). William is my laid back lad, unless you keep him away from electronic device, and Sofia. Well where do I bloody start. She was a perfect baby, until she turned 1!!! She started terrible twos early and has been tantruming ever since! She paddies about almost anything, even when she's getting her own way! She always wants it to be her way or no way - which started at birth. After being in labour for less than 5 minutes I delivered her on the bathroom floor, very nearly into the toilet!!

My other half - Lee. Works away. He was in the Army for 25 years before leaving at half pention. He now delivered luxury long boats and is away monday-friday!

I'm aware this sounds like a therapy session and no one is even here never mind asking for my life story, but here I am. Hoping other people will join me for rants about parenting!

Reetfunni · Apr 18, 2020

Hi

I have an 8 month old boy. Hardest 8 months of my life

Quarantine has got me feeling a little jealous of all my friends as they are child free so are just having lay ins, watching netflix and drinking lots of wine lol. But then my boy smiles at me and I feel super lucky!

ATV

Flossy2019 · Apr 18, 2020

Does anyone have any good tips for brushing baby’s teeth. My one year old hatesssss it I can’t get him to open his mouth without him sticking his tongue over his teeth

ps he only has 6 teeth so far

but they are just sooooo lovely and white I want to keep them clean

Anycraic29 · Apr 18, 2020

Ah I hope this thread takes off! I’ve got a girl who’s 8 next month and currently expecting another bundle of joy, I’m 16 weeks. Nervous about going back to it all after so long but hoping everything will just fall back into place. I had my sisters nephew for a sleep over a while back he was maybe about 12 months and I was like “what do I do if he wakes? Do I give him a bottle or what?” Like as if I’d never spent a night with a baby lol, although I think when it’s your own baby you’re so much more confident with them

Ranty McRantington · Apr 18, 2020

Flossy2019 said:
Does anyone have any good tips for brushing baby’s teeth. My one year old hatesssss it I can’t get him to open his mouth without him sticking his tongue over his teeth ps he only has 6 teeth so far but they are just sooooo lovely and white I want to keep them clean

My daughter is exactly the same and she's 2. The things I have tried are the baby teeth wipes, the toothbrush you stick over your finger, brushing them at the same time as her and then literally just pinning her down and brushing them whilst she screams the house down! My most successful when she was one was the toothbrush over the finger, and now I have a child's electric toothbrush which I let her use with some children's apple toothpaste, which is her favourite flavour. I find the electric toothbrush is better because if she only lets me brush for a few seconds atleast it is doing more brushing than I could do with a manual toothbrush!

Toothbrushing is a nightmare isn't it. I think it's the second hardest thing to do after putting eyedrops in their eyes

x

Anycraic29 said:
Ah I hope this thread takes off! I’ve got a girl who’s 8 next month and currently expecting another bundle of joy, I’m 16 weeks. Nervous about going back to it all after so long but hoping everything will just fall back into place. I had my sisters nephew for a sleep over a while back he was maybe about 12 months and I was like “what do I do if he wakes? Do I give him a bottle or what?” Like as if I’d never spent a night with a baby lol, although I think when it’s your own baby you’re so much more confident with them

So do I! I need somewhere with people that are on my wavelength with parenting that isn't all flowers and rainbows and the pretence that it's forever the most amazing thing to do in the world!

That is exactly the same age gap as my two. My son was 8 when I gave birth to my daughter. He ended up witnessing the full birth as I gave birth at home, unexpectedly. It was a big shock for us all but for him,. He woke up at 1am to me, legs akimbo, on the bathroom floor, pushing out a baby! The only thing he said to me was 'Mummy, you said babies come out of your belly button, but Sofia's coming out of your line'!!!!

! Although he was very sweet, I went into shock afterwards and was freezing cold shivering on the floor and was screaming at my other half to get me the duvet off the bed, and William comes in with his tiny Spiderman fleece blanket lol!

I was terrified to go through it all again, but I needn't have been. It all comes back to you as if it was yesterday and you'll be so much more relaxed once baby's here. Also don't lure yourself into a false sense of security, like I did, thinking because of the big age gap they won't argue!!! Mine argue like bloody cat and dog! I can't believe how much William, who's now nearly 10, can get wound up by a bloody 2 year old! They drive me round the bend sometimes! X

Reetfunni said:
Hi

I have an 8 month old boy. Hardest 8 months of my life

Quarantine has got me feeling a little jealous of all my friends as they are child free so are just having lay ins, watching netflix and drinking lots of wine lol. But then my boy smiles at me and I feel super lucky!

ATV

Oh me too. Although I wouldn't change my life for the world, I do dream about going through quarantine without children and sleeping all day, binging on naff TV and the soaps!

Instead I'm refereeing a 9 and 2 year old, oh and a 34 year old who could be worse than the kids put together

! Roll on Lee going back to work on Monday! X

AreYouHavinAGiraffe · Apr 18, 2020

Ladies!!

7 week old little girl here! Not me being the 7 week old - that would be weird

Anycraic29 · Apr 18, 2020

@LornaK I’m in fits of laughter here at your wee fella calling it your “line”

I think my wee girl is kind of half clued in that they come out of your “line” sorry but that has cracked me up

I’ve caught her before watching pregnancy and birth vlogs on YouTube

albeit, innocent ones of like youtubers aimed at a younger audience with the mother that’s pregnant. She will be all go with this one then no doubt as u say they’ll be killing each other, when she’s in my mums she does get pissed off with my sisters wee fella, he was one in December. Like huffing and puffing at him, but even though she’s almost 8 and is very advanced and mature, at the same time they are still little immature babies themselves

(And little fuckers at the best of times) <— I sounded too mumsnetty so had to had that part

Oohthedrama · Apr 18, 2020

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Where you can edit your post, quote, like and much more all for free.

mums.chat

give it a go! its like mumsnet..... but not

Ranty McRantington · Apr 18, 2020

Anycraic29 said:
@LornaK I’m in fits of laughter here at your wee fella calling it your “line” I think my wee girl is kind of half clued in that they come out of your “line” sorry but that has cracked me up I’ve caught her before watching pregnancy and birth vlogs on YouTube albeit, innocent ones of like youtubers aimed at a younger audience with the mother that’s pregnant. She will be all go with this one then no doubt as u say they’ll be killing each other, when she’s in my mums she does get pissed off with my sisters wee fella, he was one in December. Like huffing and puffing at him, but even though she’s almost 8 and is very advanced and mature, at the same time they are still little immature babies themselves (And little fuckers at the best of times) <— I sounded too mumsnetty so had to had that part

Hahaha I've been re-typing things thinking I sound to mumsnetty too haha!

Oh my gosh I nearly wet myself when he said it! God knows where he got the word 'line' from! Even the two ambulance crews who turned up were in creases about it! I just replied with 'speak to your dad about it when he gets home' as I knew I'd be spending the next ten days in the hospital

! So when Lee got home from following us to the hospital in the ambulance, he said as soon as William woke up in the morning that was the first thing he asked!

Williams very mature for his age too. But when it comes to Sofia, my god, he's just a head! Literally winds her up constantly, pokes her, pushes her, takes toys off her. You name it. It's like having two toddlers! Although I bet I won't be saying that this time in two years when I have an 11 year old and two toddlers! I'm soooo scared

x

Flossy2019 · Apr 18, 2020

Anyone else’s routines gone out the window since lockdown

normally he goes to bed at half 6-7 ish and he’s only just gone down now I’m so tired I could cry

Ashad · Apr 18, 2020

Hi!! I have an 11 months old sleep demon who has never slept through the night. Im so glad you made this thread I often read tattle to get me through the night

Flossy2019 said:
Does anyone have any good tips for brushing baby’s teeth. My one year old hatesssss it I can’t get him to open his mouth without him sticking his tongue over his teeth ps he only has 6 teeth so far but they are just sooooo lovely and white I want to keep them clean

This is the only brush my baby will currently use I smear toothpaste on it and let her do it herself because she fights me

Brush-Baby Chewable Soft Toothbrush for Babies and Toddlers 10-36 Months: Amazon.co.uk: Health & Personal Care

www.amazon.co.uk

Ranty McRantington · Apr 19, 2020

Ashad said:
Hi!! I have an 11 months old sleep demon who has never slept through the night. Im so glad you made this thread I often read tattle to get me through the night

This is the only brush my baby will currently use I smear toothpaste on it and let her do it herself because she fights me

Brush-Baby Chewable Soft Toothbrush for Babies and Toddlers 10-36 Months: Amazon.co.uk: Health & Personal Care

Brush-Baby Chewable Soft Toothbrush for Babies and Toddlers 10-36 Months: Amazon.co.uk: Health & Personal Care

www.amazon.co.uk

Oh my gosh William, my eldest was a sleep demon. Like he never effing slept at all, at night or in the day. It was the hardest 2/3 years of my life! Also with him being my first all everyone used to 'advise' me was to 'sleep when baby sleeps'. Oh my I wanted to chin them, as that only works if your baby actually bloody sleeps!!!

Luckily with Sofia she has ALWAYS slept, I've always had to wake her for feeds, and to be changed, and when I do she's always straight back to sleep after. I couldn't believe my luck.

Although she's made up for being an awesome baby, as as soon as she hit 1 she started very prematurely with terrible twos, so she's just a demon for all of her waking hours

!

I hope she starts to sleep for your soon! Xx

Flossy2019 said:
Anyone else’s routines gone out the window since lockdown normally he goes to bed at half 6-7 ish and he’s only just gone down now I’m so tired I could cry

Ohhh yes! Especially with my eldest, he's not been going to sleep until 10/11 and because he's going to bed later so has Sofia. Which makes her more tired during the day; it's a vicious cycle! So I try to get Sofia to bed before 9 and if I can we have a moderately calm day the next! I say calm, she is literally playing ping pong off the walls of the house, with herself being the ball! Luckily where we live is quite rural, so we go on about ten walks a day around our little block of houses to try to tire her out and keep her busy! Today we went with the her pram and my back is not kaput as she decided she wasn't going to push it after two minutes and I couldn't just carry it, because dolly was sleeping, so I had to bloody push it! I was pretty much crawling around then block!! X

Dogleggedhat · Apr 19, 2020

Flossy2019 said:
Does anyone have any good tips for brushing baby’s teeth. My one year old hatesssss it I can’t get him to open his mouth without him sticking his tongue over his teeth ps he only has 6 teeth so far but they are just sooooo lovely and white I want to keep them clean

I find with my 14 month old I have to make her laugh while brushing her teeth so i can get the brush in her mouth lol,it’s hard because what makes her laugh one week doesn’t work the next week so I have to keep working on it and I’m definitely not getting them brushed for as long as I would like

I’m currently pregnant with my second and I’m very nervous as my first was one of those dream babies that I thought was a myth so I know I’ve been completely spoilt rotten and am dreading the second one being an absolute nightmare!
I really want three kids but realistically in terms of finance and space etc it looks like this will be it for us so I’m finding this a bit tricky too!

Flossy2019 · Apr 19, 2020

I’m bloody sick of my child turning the tv off and on again

My house is a tit tip and I’m bloody knackered. Anyone else

I’m still badly anaemic from having my son 12 months ago so i feel knackered all the time. Plus I’m ready to kill my other half on this lockdown

Ashad · Apr 19, 2020

Flossy2019 said:
I’m bloody sick of my child turning the tv off and on again My house is a tit tip and I’m bloody knackered. Anyone else

I’m still badly anaemic from having my son 12 months ago so i feel knackered all the time. Plus I’m ready to kill my other half on this lockdown

I know what you mean my other half just looks at me and I want to explode and he’s done nothing

Redwine · Apr 19, 2020

Hey all. 16 month old and I'm losing the plot

I know that no one is asking for sleep advice but I have a good sleeper (not bragging) but this is because I used Lucy Wolfes Sleep Solution book. She has a great instagram too. Just letting you all know in case anyone is at their wits end like I was xxxx

Flossy2019 · Apr 19, 2020

Redwine said:
Hey all. 16 month old and I'm losing the plot I know that no one is asking for sleep advice but I have a good sleeper (not bragging) but this is because I used Lucy Wolfes Sleep Solution book. She has a great instagram too. Just letting you all know in case anyone is at their wits end like I was xxxx

Just had a quick look on google books. Think Lydia bright needs to read this book if anyone has read her thread

I will read this at some point this week I’m sick of my child in my bed all the time

AreYouHavinAGiraffe · Apr 19, 2020

Flossy2019 said:
Anyone else’s routines gone out the window since lockdown normally he goes to bed at half 6-7 ish and he’s only just gone down now I’m so tired I could cry

Routine...what’s that

Naataaliiee · Apr 19, 2020

Hi all.. i’ve got a just-turned 9 month old little girl. She is a little dream in many ways (girl loves her sleep and food, like mama!!) , but she is also THE sassiest, most stubborn little thing i’ve ever met

she’s been crawling for a few weeks now and is pulling herself up on all the things she shouldn’t be and quite frankly driving me nuts! Being stuck in the house with a 9 month old is tough, never did I think i’d be desperate to take her to soft play!! She’s also learnt how to fake cry. SOS

Ranty McRantington · Apr 20, 2020

Naataaliiee said:
Hi all.. i’ve got a just-turned 9 month old little girl. She is a little dream in many ways (girl loves her sleep and food, like mama!!) , but she is also THE sassiest, most stubborn little thing i’ve ever met she’s been crawling for a few weeks now and is pulling herself up on all the things she shouldn’t be and quite frankly driving me nuts! Being stuck in the house with a 9 month old is tough, never did I think i’d be desperate to take her to soft play!! She’s also learnt how to fake cry. SOS

My little girl is exactly the same. She was 2 in January. As a baby I was so lucky. She was literally perfect. I honestly don't mean to brag, she's no longer perfect!

She has always been a top sleeper, Ive been so lucky, up until she was one all she did was sleep and I had to wake her for feeding and changing when she was a little baby.

Then she turned one. Oh my golly gosh. She still sleeps, really well. Although she turned one and hit terrible bloody twos at the same time! Like yours, she is the most sassiest and stubborn little git! She has to do everything herself. It's her way or no way, or huge effing tantrum!

During her waking hours she is exhausting! She's used to being out and about constantly, so during lockdown she has been climbing the bloody walls!

Roll on this all being over!