Not going in the outs of why was a stepmom from when daughter was very little till now tween. But anyone finding being one is feels like a constant comparison of what mummy/daddy does compared to what you do. Feel like I'm going or gone grey with stress of making sure my partner has his daughter has a good time at daddys house. Feeling like anything you do isn't good enough for the mother. Years I've buying clothes stepdaughter wants or ask for never see it come back after bought it or a picture of her wearing it etc toys that go mummy's house then you ask do you play with it no. ive spent a small fortune on teddies for her to say don't know where its gone. Does it ever get easier? Its been 10plus years
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I feel your pain, I used to try really hard when my steps were younger but like you say nothing would be good enough and everything is mum does it like that or I prefer when mum does it etc etc, when they got to teenagers they would contradict me on everything and challenge me if i liked something they would hate it etc
i got to the point when I realised no matter how hard I tried it wouldn't change so I stopped beating myself up about it and took a step back I just let their dad deal with all the hassel best thing I could of done tbh they are young adults now and tbh they aren't much different than when they were kids so I don't think it gets better with age sorry to say
Step parenting sucks
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Forgot to say its been 15 years for me
i got to the point when I realised no matter how hard I tried it wouldn't change so I stopped beating myself up about it and took a step back I just let their dad deal with all the hassel best thing I could of done tbh they are young adults now and tbh they aren't much different than when they were kids so I don't think it gets better with age sorry to say
Step parenting sucks
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Forgot to say its been 15 years for me
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I think co parenting in whatever form is going to be hard, but especially for step parents. I’ve also been a step parent for 15 years to two now teens.
Recently, it’s the hardest it’s ever been. These teenage years are hard! Teenagers are hard anyway, but pair that with, “well at my mums…”
I’ve always had a pretty good relationship with my two as I’ve been around since they were babies, but we’re definitely seen generally as the stricter house because we tend to have more rules in place. I think as a stepparent you take it to heart more, even though most of us are just trying our best.
Recently, it’s the hardest it’s ever been. These teenage years are hard! Teenagers are hard anyway, but pair that with, “well at my mums…”
I’ve always had a pretty good relationship with my two as I’ve been around since they were babies, but we’re definitely seen generally as the stricter house because we tend to have more rules in place. I think as a stepparent you take it to heart more, even though most of us are just trying our best.
Its hard for me because my partners ex seems to always have this hold or last laugh. Because he wants to be there for his kid. He sees to do alot of things everyone I ask say its a no no. For example his ex is still friends with his friends I've found out they've gone for a meal with them their kids and his kid. Wouldn't of found out but his daughter landed him in it
Decided to put on one last Christmas then hopefully part ways i can't deal with it anymore
I feel you. Currently my partners child doesn’t want to see us anymore because “we make him go to bed and his mum just lets him stay up until 3 even on a school night”. There’s no rules or boundaries at hers whereas there are at our house - nothing crazy. Just bed at a reasonable time and limited what he could access on the internet as it was affecting his behaviour at school /language he was using. It’s really sad, hopefully when he’s older it was because his dad cared that rules were in place but for now he “hates” him.
My partner pays out loads this time of year for presents at her mums house and Christmas experiences. I'm left footing the bill for Xmas presents and making it special at our home. He buys and makes for Xmas Dinner purely because I only get one meal out of it l, he makes extra every year we eat one with just us 2 and his daughter then he plates up 3 more dinners (for x and her dad) and one for his daughter to have boxing day or day after. And I got sick of paying half. We have her either Christmas day till 3, he takes her home and I don't see him till 8 or later. Or we have her Xmas tea time till boxing day afternoon (which have Xmas Dinner on boxing day). If its the one that he sees her Xmas day night he's up at crack of dawn. Goes down to see her open presents doesn't get back till exs needs to go to families house. Comes back to me for few hours then goes back to get his daughter 25mintue both ways pisses me off. Plus he seems to be there longer and longer to collect her.
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I get comments a lot like “my mum says you’re large” and I got a message off the mum one night saying I’d “never be anything to her son.” Then the next day she asked me to babysit so she could go out drinking 
. I’ve always brushed her comments off and never let it affect our relationship, I’ve always been close with my stepson but it does feel harder as he gets older and she’s turning him against his dad who has done nothing but fight so hard for him. It’s tough this step parenting stuff
. I’ve always brushed her comments off and never let it affect our relationship, I’ve always been close with my stepson but it does feel harder as he gets older and she’s turning him against his dad who has done nothing but fight so hard for him. It’s tough this step parenting stuffMy son adores my husband, his stepdad they have such a great relationship. We get on with ny sons dad, we all get a long for my sons sake.
His ex wife
absolutely horrendous.
Had a boyfriend from day one of separating from my husband ... Kids thought they had 2 daddies. He was only allowed to see for 3hours a week, the list goes on and on.
Shes a tit mother, lives with her own mother so has 24/7 babysitting..... No housing costs, now boyfriend lives with them so 3 way share of bills. She is "self employed" dog groomer from her house aka doesnt declare any earnings. Shes got wait for it....... 6 dogs, a cat, lizzard, tortoise, house rabbit, 32 Guinea pigs, rabbits, chickens a horse and 5 goats!
Spends very little time with the kids, they are both extremely behind at school. Theyre not nurtured children.
I have done absolutely everything for those kids, I've tried so hard but get absolutely nothing back. Im sure she talks to them in derogatory teems about me you know you can juat tell. Its like they feel they need to keep thier distance from me.
The first time it was his daughters birthday and we were together i made her some beautiful unicorn cupcakes ( im a hobby baker can do decent cakes) She literally had no idea what a candle even was, never had a birthday cake.Ate them at my house and took the remaining home, next week i asked if she had enjoyed them....... No we didn't like them so mummy fed them to the dogs.
His son would connect xboxs with my sons so they could play together when nit together. We would hear the way she and her bully boy boyfriend shouted and spoke to the boy..... Awful, in the end i text her and said i wasnt allowing my son to play with him because it was upsetting him the way they shouted at the kid. Of course that caused trouble, all my doing somehow
She forces them up at 6 20am before school to go out with her to sort out this new horse, despite her mother being home.
They have a shower twice a week only, they both stink the boy in particular as hes 11.
Weve bough clothing for both never see it again.
He slept over last night, come out the bathroom wearing a pj top that looked like a bloody crop top.... Way up past his belly button and sleeves up to his elbow....... Age 6-7. My husband pays her more than thr minimum, but she spends 0 money on those kids. Everything they have is second hand.,
He still wet the bed at 11, ive always said its her and the dysfunctional home life he has poor boy. Could have something to do with her telling him he wasn't allowed to get up in the night because it woke the dogs up and they start barking. ...... All 6 dogs sleep in her bedroom with her
The girl is not allowed to sleep over shes too young apparently (8) its the last tiny bit of control mums clinging to, because she has to be in control
My step mum journey so far
His ex wife
absolutely horrendous.Had a boyfriend from day one of separating from my husband ... Kids thought they had 2 daddies. He was only allowed to see for 3hours a week, the list goes on and on.
Shes a tit mother, lives with her own mother so has 24/7 babysitting..... No housing costs, now boyfriend lives with them so 3 way share of bills. She is "self employed" dog groomer from her house aka doesnt declare any earnings. Shes got wait for it....... 6 dogs, a cat, lizzard, tortoise, house rabbit, 32 Guinea pigs, rabbits, chickens a horse and 5 goats!
Spends very little time with the kids, they are both extremely behind at school. Theyre not nurtured children.
I have done absolutely everything for those kids, I've tried so hard but get absolutely nothing back. Im sure she talks to them in derogatory teems about me you know you can juat tell. Its like they feel they need to keep thier distance from me.
The first time it was his daughters birthday and we were together i made her some beautiful unicorn cupcakes ( im a hobby baker can do decent cakes) She literally had no idea what a candle even was, never had a birthday cake.Ate them at my house and took the remaining home, next week i asked if she had enjoyed them....... No we didn't like them so mummy fed them to the dogs.
His son would connect xboxs with my sons so they could play together when nit together. We would hear the way she and her bully boy boyfriend shouted and spoke to the boy..... Awful, in the end i text her and said i wasnt allowing my son to play with him because it was upsetting him the way they shouted at the kid. Of course that caused trouble, all my doing somehow
She forces them up at 6 20am before school to go out with her to sort out this new horse, despite her mother being home.
They have a shower twice a week only, they both stink the boy in particular as hes 11.
Weve bough clothing for both never see it again.
He slept over last night, come out the bathroom wearing a pj top that looked like a bloody crop top.... Way up past his belly button and sleeves up to his elbow....... Age 6-7. My husband pays her more than thr minimum, but she spends 0 money on those kids. Everything they have is second hand.,
He still wet the bed at 11, ive always said its her and the dysfunctional home life he has poor boy. Could have something to do with her telling him he wasn't allowed to get up in the night because it woke the dogs up and they start barking. ...... All 6 dogs sleep in her bedroom with her
The girl is not allowed to sleep over shes too young apparently (8) its the last tiny bit of control mums clinging to, because she has to be in control
My step mum journey so far
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My last Christmas putting on a front hopefully. Let's see if gets dropped of without the hassle of partner going to go get daughter. Partner hasn't bought me duck all but made the effort to make us steak and chips for Xmas. Proper dinner on boxing day when we have her full day.