Oh, that's a shame. You'll have missed the BIG news today then.
Her and her friend Carol tried on colourful berets!!! I know, right?!!! It was SUCH a hoot!
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Her and her friend Carol tried on colourful berets!!! I know, right?!!! It was SUCH a hoot!
What you've missed: today's 'details', stories in a zorro hat, grabbi freezing whilst watching footy training, chaotic life admin, wine, rolled up leather trousers looking like she's off fly fishing in the Thames, wine, and details about flouring fish before cooking.... yawn.
get a grip you moron 
Who in their right mind makes bog standard egg on toast and thinks I must take a photo and post it on Instagram.
I also think something must have been said to Saint Abi, patron Saint of school volunteering because instead of the normal complaining about walking school kids to a swimming lesson she is feeling so lucky and grateful today because she knows working parents can't.
I also think something must have been said to Saint Abi, patron Saint of school volunteering because instead of the normal complaining about walking school kids to a swimming lesson she is feeling so lucky and grateful today because she knows working parents can't.
She sure loves to keep banging on about how “small” she is. She’s like 5’3, not that short. I’m 5’4 and don’t keep banging on about it.
At 4.11 I’d LOVE to be 5.3! What’s her point?! 5.3 is fairly average for a woman…
Exactly! I'm not sure how tall Helen is, possibly 5'10? Don't get me wrong that is a decent height but it's not extremely tall for a woman. She loves to compare and go on about how tall she is, it's like she's putting her down. Oh look at me my name is Abi, I wear extra extra short trousers, wear a size 6 and am 5'3. I cook my kids seabass for dinner. Someone give her a medal!
This is what I hate about her. Everyone has a friend like this. A grade A smug c***
And don’t forget she’s a size 6, 8 is big on her.
No Abi, as a footballing mum, I learnt early on that the pitball parents were the ones to avoid. I learnt to support from afar, don't embarrass my kids and know that football is their hobby not mine. The last thing they need is a mum shouting on the sidelines, giving feedback, complaining about freezing for 2 hours when we all know she secretly loves it because she has made her sons hobby her own. Getting upset and wanting to run on the pit when her baby is tackled then taking to social media to cry about what a brut the other Under 10 player was.
She is far too invested and will be heartbroken if they one day ask to stop football or want her not to come.
She is far too invested and will be heartbroken if they one day ask to stop football or want her not to come.
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I don't know about it being hard being a goalies mum, it must be hard being the goalie son of a tiger/pitball mum.
Instagram is not the place to be discussed children's football league football. I really feel for her boys.
Instagram is not the place to be discussed children's football league football. I really feel for her boys.
Thanks for the extensive post-match analysis Abi, it was like an episode of Match Of The Day! Really brought the game to life for those of us who weren't lucky enough to see Croydon Under 10s live today 
Bet you were all on the edge of your seats there. The build up, the tension, the drama...will she, won't she? 
YASS, she did a starter!
(Frozen calamari).
But not tomorrow, ooh no.
As you were.
YASS, she did a starter!
(Frozen calamari).But not tomorrow, ooh no.
As you were.
The frozen calamari story is peak Abi. So ridiculous and too much time with very little to do
Phew, she's got a pink coat! I was concerned that she didn't have a coat in every colour of the rainbow but thankfully that's now sorted. 