State or Private

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I was just wondering everyone’s opinions on state vs private school? (Not trying to say one is better than the other, just wondered opinions).

I went to a private school in London, and whilst I am extremely grateful for my education, it was an extremely intense experience - my school day was typically 8.15am-4.30pm + 1-2 hours homework Monday to Friday and around 4 hours of homework at the weekends, plus extra curricular activities etc.

We’ve had to put of toddlers names down for the schools already as the admission lists fill up fast, however in doing so, we would have to send them to different schools so I was just wondering peoples opinions as I have no real experience of state schools and whilst I know private schools can afford a wealth of opportunity, I don’t want to discount our local primary school just because it’s not what I did.

So, opinions please!
 
If I was rich then I would put my children in private school. I wouldn't scrimp, save and go without though to send them there. Mine are in state school and love going there everyday. I think it depends on the area as well. I think children can be happy and unhappy in both schools. I would do what is best for you financially and also mentally, you wouldn't want to be resentful of your children if you struggled to put them through private school and they get minimum wage jobs when they are older (I'm not saying that you would feel like that).
 
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They both vary so much it's hard to say. It's depressing the number of people in powerful positions that went to a handful of private schools. Social mobility has gone backwards. Unless I was loaded I would move somewhere with a good state school and top up with a tutor and help at home if needed.
 
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Primary schools tend to be fine, I feel it is the Secondary education that makes the biggest impact on your future. I went to the local comprehensive school, and it was rubbish because the kids just misbehaved and the teachers just couldn't control the classes. It was very stressful for me as a teen, because I wanted to learn. I knew family friends who went private and I was jealous of them at the time. Yes, they had a lot of homework but I feel they were better prepared for things. It may not be the normal case, but as a teenager looking from the outside, that's how it looked. This was 10 years ago though.

I think if I had the means I would go for Private, or at least research the best state schools (there must be great ones out there). A worrying number of state schools are becoming business led academies and from what I hear on the ol' Facebook is that the schools are completely changing they way they go about things, and I personally know 3 young teachers in different UK cities who have quit the profession because it is just not about the quality of learning anymore, just cramming in targets. I guess it does depend on area.

TLDR: If you have the means, go for Private, if the reviews of the particular school(s) meet your expectations. The class:teacher ratio in Private is generally going to be more beneficial than state schools where you can have 30+ to a teacher. I hated my state school. Wished I was given the privilege of going private, or to a great state grammar school. Be wary of "academies".
 
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Sideways tangent
Our daughter goes to a Catholic School. It was an eye opener for us. She receives an excellent education and is doing very well. There are particular reasons why she goes to this school and our eldest two didn't.
The school itself is very community focused.
Private costs and I have known many who have gone who are not particularly bright.
The homework ratio you mentioned is quite funny as nowadays it seems thats about the norm anyway
 
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I went to a private school and it was a good the class sizes were smaller so you got more attention individually with the teachers and they were quite strict too which was good because i find in state schools, they can be not as strict and sometimes thats where you get problems.
But on the flip side, one of my local doctors went to a state school so i guess it depends on a lot of factors weather you have a good education or not. I think if you can afford it and as someone else said, that its not seen as a waste of money if you're child doesn't get a high achieving or well paying job in the future.

@emmer_mo i would be interested to hear more about academies because there are now 2 near me and since we aren't in that age range yet, i don't know anything about them. I was hoping to send my child to a grammar school when the time comes but if she doesn't get in, these academies are all that is local to us. Whats the problem with them?
 
It’s a debate in our home too. We’ve got our girls down for private schools and state schools and, although they’re only 2, it feels like we need to make a decision fast. My husband went to private school and is an actor and producer, he thinks his private education made little difference to his career but admits all his friends from school are doing jobs that required that level of education and connections. On the other hand, I went to a small state primary and secondary, went to Cambridge and I’m a GP. My pro for private is that I honestly think I had to work much harder at uni and to even get into my chosen university because I went to state school. We have the means but I don’t want our girls to have less fun as they might do in a private school. Sorry if this doesn’t help, just trying to say I feel your pain.
 
Private costs and I have known many who have gone who are not particularly bright’

WTF? Good for you, my dd goes and she is a bit thick because she has Aspergers. Soz about that.
 
If I was rich then I would put my children in private school. I wouldn't scrimp, save and go without though to send them there. Mine are in state school and love going there everyday. I think it depends on the area as well. I think children can be happy and unhappy in both schools. I would do what is best for you financially and also mentally, you wouldn't want to be resentful of your children if you struggled to put them through private school and they get minimum wage jobs when they are older (I'm not saying that you would feel like that).
we are luckily in the position where it would be feasible financially. It is the area for state schools that puts me off slightly. We are in central London, and whilst I know we have some amazing schools they are highly over subscribed and I don’t want to have to just take anything.
They both vary so much it's hard to say. It's depressing the number of people in powerful positions that went to a handful of private schools. Social mobility has gone backwards. Unless I was loaded I would move somewhere with a good state school and top up with a tutor and help at home if needed.
Moving was actually something I thought about - we had a family friend who moves to Somerset and her daughter is in an amazing school, however with my husbands job moving isn’t too feasible unfortunately.
Primary schools tend to be fine, I feel it is the Secondary education that makes the biggest impact on your future. I went to the local comprehensive school, and it was rubbish because the kids just misbehaved and the teachers just couldn't control the classes. It was very stressful for me as a teen, because I wanted to learn. I knew family friends who went private and I was jealous of them at the time. Yes, they had a lot of homework but I feel they were better prepared for things. It may not be the normal case, but as a teenager looking from the outside, that's how it looked. This was 10 years ago though.

I think if I had the means I would go for Private, or at least research the best state schools (there must be great ones out there). A worrying number of state schools are becoming business led academies and from what I hear on the ol' Facebook is that the schools are completely changing they way they go about things, and I personally know 3 young teachers in different UK cities who have quit the profession because it is just not about the quality of learning anymore, just cramming in targets. I guess it does depend on area.

TLDR: If you have the means, go for Private, if the reviews of the particular school(s) meet your expectations. The class:teacher ratio in Private is generally going to be more beneficial than state schools where you can have 30+ to a teacher. I hated my state school. Wished I was given the privilege of going private, or to a great state grammar school. Be wary of "academies".
The schools we are considering are amazing - I went to one and my husband went to the other from prep to A levels. 30+ children to a teacher baffles me and yet we expect these children to learn and get amazing grades...
It’s a debate in our home too. We’ve got our girls down for private schools and state schools and, although they’re only 2, it feels like we need to make a decision fast. My husband went to private school and is an actor and producer, he thinks his private education made little difference to his career but admits all his friends from school are doing jobs that required that level of education and connections. On the other hand, I went to a small state primary and secondary, went to Cambridge and I’m a GP. My pro for private is that I honestly think I had to work much harder at uni and to even get into my chosen university because I went to state school. We have the means but I don’t want our girls to have less fun as they might do in a private school. Sorry if this doesn’t help, just trying to say I feel your pain.
It sounds as though you have a similar conflict as us. Our twins are only 16 months and it does feel like we have to make the decision now. I see your point about having to work harder for Uni from a state school - private education definitely afforded me some luxuries when it came to University but in the same thought I want the kids to work hard for it...vicious circle. I do agree with your husband too. Both my husband and myself are in professions that required that level of education and I won’t deny it has at least played a part of reaching this point.
Sideways tangent
Our daughter goes to a Catholic School. It was an eye opener for us. She receives an excellent education and is doing very well. There are particular reasons why she goes to this school and our eldest two didn't.
The school itself is very community focused.
Private costs and I have known many who have gone who are not particularly bright.
The homework ratio you mentioned is quite funny as nowadays it seems thats about the norm anyway
The homework ratio, is that prep/primary or secondary?
 
I went to state all the way through got excellent results and went to a red brick university and now have a professional job. To be honest I think I would have done this wherever I went as I had the support from my parents etc. My husband went to private school and we met on the same university course and now have the same career, I can’t see any benefit what he got out of his private education over mine.

Our 5 year old is in a state primary, so far I have been really impressed she is flourishing in reading and writing. There are 27 in her class but they do phonics etc in small academic groups. I also really enjoy her school really feels like part of the community they do a lot of positive citizenship works in the community etc. I also like that all her friends are local for play dates etc something my husband misses out on as he was 45 mins away from school.
 
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After going to a comprehensive secondary school where the teachers couldn't control around 80% of the class and me losing my voice trying to do the same when I did my PGCE (and almost losing my sanity too), I would say choose private if you can afford it (imo). Tbh it's such a touchy subject; it sounds ridiculous but I know people who would 'disown' me for championing private over state schools due to their principles and politics etc. I'm sure there are great state schools around, maybe I was just unlucky with mine.
 
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I never experienced teachers losing control of the kids at school ?, our school was incredibly strict over behaviour
 
I guess it depends on the student. I went to a school that was rated very poorly but still did well and managed to take some GCSE's early (I think this was the year they introduced it, where you could do english/maths/science in year 9 or 10 I think it was, then extra GCSEs after), and knew people who went who got mostly A'S/A*s as well and went on to really good universities. The only downside was behaviour management wasn't that great (you always had those groups who only came in to cause trouble), and you could really tell how stressed some of the teachers were as I think there's more pressure on them for students to get good grades. There also wasn't much in terms of extra-curricular stuff as I guess teachers didn't have the time.

I think private school would've given me a lot more focus though as admittedly my attendance wasn't great in secondary school. It just caused me a lot of anxiety and I feel like private school wouldn't have that as much, because everyone is there to learn and not muck around or bully.
 
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My husbands private school was the opposite far more mucking about, issues with drugs etc. The school turned a blind eye to it so they could get their fees in.
 
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^ I agree with you, Mayday: sounds like you're around the same age as me as I took a couple of GCSEs early when it was recently introduced too. It's just the overall bad behaviour of the class and exhausted teachers almost giving up ruined it for me. Lucky I was a 'swot' lol. The teachers eventually convinced me to stay on in the sixth form instead of going to college for my A Levels- it seemed like a different place! The disrupting a-holes had gone and those who had stayed on suddenly had a personality transplant lol.
I'm not saying private is better in terms of bitchiness and bullying, I just imagine teaching standards to be a lot better (mostly due to class sizes).
 
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a good grammar school is the equivalent to a standard private school, i wouldn't pay all of that money for my own children and i have been privately educated my whole life, you can get a just as good or better education for free
 
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a good grammar school is the equivalent to a standard private school, i wouldn't pay all of that money for my own children and i have been privately educated my whole life, you can get a just as good or better education for free
I agree with you, shame I wasn't bright enough to pass those non-verbal reasoning tests lol☺
 
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