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Whoop whoop!! My thread title!!! Thanks guys!!! Love you to the moon and back!!! 
My baby is full of wind but instead of burping her and helping to ease her discomfort let me just film her while laughing at her obvious discomfort and share it with 4 million strangers 
With a flurry of activity in the Swollomon household recently there seems to be a fair old bit to recap and when you combine this with my propensity to ramble, well I apologise if this goes on! You know me though, why use one word when you could use 150?! 
So to begin; it’s been an exciting old time for Stacey recently as we’ve had the creation of a Santa’s grotto, her being completely unphased and unbothered about being gloriously usurped from the front page of a Sunday Magazine by of all things a Christmas Pudding, the nigh on perfect dying on her hair all by herself only to then have her celebrity hairdresser friend pop over and style it, and of course not forgetting the infamous streaking around Costco incident, if anything Stacey says or tells us can be believed of course. More of these later though as the most obvious and pressing detail that has emerged over the last weeks is that *fanfare please* Stacey is breastfeeding Opal Fruit!!
Yes that’s right folks, her well documented issues with breast feeding have been well and truly overcome as Stacey now feels the need to provide an at least daily photograph of her in various stages of feeding baby Roess, presumably to ensure everyone can be made aware that her perfect darling little baby girl gets the best of everything, including being breastfed. If you happen to be a new mother yourself and somewhat struggling with breastfeeding your child, well sod your luck as you’re going to have her boobs thrust into your face at every possible opportunity.
With even the most ardent of ‘breast is best’ advocates now being sick to the back teeth of seeing Stacey, grinning like an inane idiot with her jumper rucked up and the baby pressed to her chest, seemingly regardless of whether breastfeeding is occurring or not, dear Stace would be at risk of alienating her audience should the sheep not be so utterly devoted to the minimally talented airhead with the grating personality, as it is the worse she gets only seems to encourage them more, a case in point being the way they behaved like a group of lunatics en masse when the issue of the Sunday newspaper magazine supplement arose. 
This infamous ‘You Magazine’ incident only served to prove just how much the sheep seem to be under Stacey’s power with the first battle cry being contained within an Instagram post where Stacey in the most passively aggressive terms possible described her ‘amusement’ on finding that rather then being the cover star on the front page of the magazine as anticipated she had been ousted in order to make way for what the editors thought a much more attractive proposition; a Christmas Pudding!
Rather than being dismayed or upset by such an event however, Stacey continued to relay the tale all the time hysterically giggling, which was a very poor attempt to disguise her obvious anger and utter contempt at being overlooked by a steamed dried fruit and booze laden festive treat, especially as just the day before she’d announced her cover stardom to the world on the ‘gram, presumably to prepare the sheep to drop everything and scuttle off to the newsagents purse clenched in hand first thing on the Sunday morning. 
The plan, such as it was, clearly was a success with the staff and Editors of ‘You Magazine’ probably never experiencing anything like the onslaught of abuse that moving Stacey Solomon from the front to the second page of their magazine brought upon them. The sheep taking their assignment very seriously bombarded the magazine with both their concern and complaints with ‘I don’t even like Christmas pudding!’ being an example of the reasoned and sensible argument being posited in Stacey’s defence.
In other news, after being bedsit bound with little more than breastfeeding and staring at baby Opal Fruit to keep her occupied (well apart from the unfortunately seemingly fairly regular occurrences of Mick behaving increasingly boisterously and loud around the baby, but rather than being deterred by Stacey instead somewhat encouraged, all whilst she films it for the ‘gram), Stacey has been out and about busying herself in the garden of Pickle Cottage, undertaking a DIY project with the small feral one. ‘Rex and I are creating a Santa’s Grotto’ she trills on one video followed by a series of posts of them bodging their way through various tasks, included painting the years worth of muck, dirt, cobwebs and various other detritus into the walls by just randomly slapping paint all over without prepping, priming or even seeming to wipe the surface down, clagging a layer of what seemed to be white felt on to the roof, regardless of the fact it is possibly the least weatherproof fabric known to man and will be utterly ruined by the first heavy downpour and my personal favourite, Stacey showing her expertise in clearing gutters by having herself filmed up a stepladder in her slippers poking and prodding the buildup of leaves and dirt out of said gutter with what appeared to be a twig. All in all if you were going to produce a video on what not to do when renovating a garden building, you couldn’t go far wrong by using that.
Moving on from one transformation to another, what cannot be forgotten is Stacey’s first attempt at dying her hair from a L’Oréal (not yet an #AD but she’s mentioned it often enough surely she’s got to be angling for it to become one!!
)box kit. Unlike the rest of us who encounter a few hiccups when trying to dye our hair having never done it before, Stacey it appears is a natural, producing salon worthy hair with perfect coverage (alongside some God-awful photos which anyone else would have deleted immediately and not shown to anyone rather than share with however million Instagram followers! 
). It’s fair to say the colour can be described as ‘striking’ to say the least, and it was made even better by the sheer coincidence of Stacey’s ‘hairdresser to the stars’ friend happening to pop over and blow dry and style it for her after she’d managed to perfectly dye it herself; such luck, I mean what are the chances eh?!
Last but no means least then, the last thread cannot be summed up without mentioning the Costco leggings incident!
So imagine the scene, Stacey and her beloved husband to be decide to embark on a trip to the local cash and carry, presumably to top up on gargantuan bottles of fabric softener and laundry detergent ready to decant into her specially labelled and easily opened by small people and imbeciles alike (think Joe) jars (courtesy of her of the undead sister Jem Jem who happens to now be flogging an overpriced range of receptacles alongside her overpriced stickers). In her haste to get ready Stacey supposedly pulled on a pair of leggings and at no point whilst getting dressed, putting her footwear on, leaving the house or even sitting in the car did she even catch a glimpse of herself in the mirror, notice her legs or pay any attention to what was going on below the waist at all which then turned out to be a massive mistake. Why, I hear you cry? Well, it was only after walking all the way around Costco Stacey was informed by a ever so pleasant fellow shopper that ‘did she realise that her leggings were a bit see through?’, at this point in the ‘gram post the camera pans down to a shot of Stacey’s legs clad in said leggings and loe and behold she might as well not have worn any at all. Nope, clear as day Stacey’s floral knickers are there for all and sundry to see and who is to blame for this wardrobe malfunction? Well it’s Joe of course!! Even though he pointed out that she’s more than old enough and capable of dressing herself (for once I agree with him, it’s a very valid point!) she refuses to hear any of it and this debacle continues on as far as her going on to name and shame the said legging makers (expect a torrent of abuse from the sheep guys! ). You do have to feel for the poor woman on this occasion though; I mean all, to be the centre of all that unwanted attention, oh wait…
So, there you go, I warned you it would be a long ‘un, it’s the insomnia, it gives me far too much time on my hands!! As with anything with Stacey, it’s hard to know how much if any of what she puts out on Instagram is the truth but hey, what does it matter, this woman gives us life right?! And she loves us all to the moon and back so how could we complain?!
So to begin; it’s been an exciting old time for Stacey recently as we’ve had the creation of a Santa’s grotto, her being completely unphased and unbothered about being gloriously usurped from the front page of a Sunday Magazine by of all things a Christmas Pudding, the nigh on perfect dying on her hair all by herself only to then have her celebrity hairdresser friend pop over and style it, and of course not forgetting the infamous streaking around Costco incident, if anything Stacey says or tells us can be believed of course. More of these later though as the most obvious and pressing detail that has emerged over the last weeks is that *fanfare please* Stacey is breastfeeding Opal Fruit!!
Yes that’s right folks, her well documented issues with breast feeding have been well and truly overcome as Stacey now feels the need to provide an at least daily photograph of her in various stages of feeding baby Roess, presumably to ensure everyone can be made aware that her perfect darling little baby girl gets the best of everything, including being breastfed. If you happen to be a new mother yourself and somewhat struggling with breastfeeding your child, well sod your luck as you’re going to have her boobs thrust into your face at every possible opportunity.
With even the most ardent of ‘breast is best’ advocates now being sick to the back teeth of seeing Stacey, grinning like an inane idiot with her jumper rucked up and the baby pressed to her chest, seemingly regardless of whether breastfeeding is occurring or not, dear Stace would be at risk of alienating her audience should the sheep not be so utterly devoted to the minimally talented airhead with the grating personality, as it is the worse she gets only seems to encourage them more, a case in point being the way they behaved like a group of lunatics en masse when the issue of the Sunday newspaper magazine supplement arose. This infamous ‘You Magazine’ incident only served to prove just how much the sheep seem to be under Stacey’s power with the first battle cry being contained within an Instagram post where Stacey in the most passively aggressive terms possible described her ‘amusement’ on finding that rather then being the cover star on the front page of the magazine as anticipated she had been ousted in order to make way for what the editors thought a much more attractive proposition; a Christmas Pudding!
Rather than being dismayed or upset by such an event however, Stacey continued to relay the tale all the time hysterically giggling, which was a very poor attempt to disguise her obvious anger and utter contempt at being overlooked by a steamed dried fruit and booze laden festive treat, especially as just the day before she’d announced her cover stardom to the world on the ‘gram, presumably to prepare the sheep to drop everything and scuttle off to the newsagents purse clenched in hand first thing on the Sunday morning. The plan, such as it was, clearly was a success with the staff and Editors of ‘You Magazine’ probably never experiencing anything like the onslaught of abuse that moving Stacey Solomon from the front to the second page of their magazine brought upon them. The sheep taking their assignment very seriously bombarded the magazine with both their concern and complaints with ‘I don’t even like Christmas pudding!’ being an example of the reasoned and sensible argument being posited in Stacey’s defence.
In other news, after being bedsit bound with little more than breastfeeding and staring at baby Opal Fruit to keep her occupied (well apart from the unfortunately seemingly fairly regular occurrences of Mick behaving increasingly boisterously and loud around the baby, but rather than being deterred by Stacey instead somewhat encouraged, all whilst she films it for the ‘gram), Stacey has been out and about busying herself in the garden of Pickle Cottage, undertaking a DIY project with the small feral one. ‘Rex and I are creating a Santa’s Grotto’ she trills on one video followed by a series of posts of them bodging their way through various tasks, included painting the years worth of muck, dirt, cobwebs and various other detritus into the walls by just randomly slapping paint all over without prepping, priming or even seeming to wipe the surface down, clagging a layer of what seemed to be white felt on to the roof, regardless of the fact it is possibly the least weatherproof fabric known to man and will be utterly ruined by the first heavy downpour and my personal favourite, Stacey showing her expertise in clearing gutters by having herself filmed up a stepladder in her slippers poking and prodding the buildup of leaves and dirt out of said gutter with what appeared to be a twig. All in all if you were going to produce a video on what not to do when renovating a garden building, you couldn’t go far wrong by using that.
Moving on from one transformation to another, what cannot be forgotten is Stacey’s first attempt at dying her hair from a L’Oréal (not yet an #AD but she’s mentioned it often enough surely she’s got to be angling for it to become one!!
)box kit. Unlike the rest of us who encounter a few hiccups when trying to dye our hair having never done it before, Stacey it appears is a natural, producing salon worthy hair with perfect coverage (alongside some God-awful photos which anyone else would have deleted immediately and not shown to anyone rather than share with however million Instagram followers! ). It’s fair to say the colour can be described as ‘striking’ to say the least, and it was made even better by the sheer coincidence of Stacey’s ‘hairdresser to the stars’ friend happening to pop over and blow dry and style it for her after she’d managed to perfectly dye it herself; such luck, I mean what are the chances eh?! Last but no means least then, the last thread cannot be summed up without mentioning the Costco leggings incident!
So imagine the scene, Stacey and her beloved husband to be decide to embark on a trip to the local cash and carry, presumably to top up on gargantuan bottles of fabric softener and laundry detergent ready to decant into her specially labelled and easily opened by small people and imbeciles alike (think Joe) jars (courtesy of her of the undead sister Jem Jem who happens to now be flogging an overpriced range of receptacles alongside her overpriced stickers). In her haste to get ready Stacey supposedly pulled on a pair of leggings and at no point whilst getting dressed, putting her footwear on, leaving the house or even sitting in the car did she even catch a glimpse of herself in the mirror, notice her legs or pay any attention to what was going on below the waist at all which then turned out to be a massive mistake. Why, I hear you cry? Well, it was only after walking all the way around Costco Stacey was informed by a ever so pleasant fellow shopper that ‘did she realise that her leggings were a bit see through?’, at this point in the ‘gram post the camera pans down to a shot of Stacey’s legs clad in said leggings and loe and behold she might as well not have worn any at all. Nope, clear as day Stacey’s floral knickers are there for all and sundry to see and who is to blame for this wardrobe malfunction? Well it’s Joe of course!! Even though he pointed out that she’s more than old enough and capable of dressing herself (for once I agree with him, it’s a very valid point!) she refuses to hear any of it and this debacle continues on as far as her going on to name and shame the said legging makers (expect a torrent of abuse from the sheep guys! ). You do have to feel for the poor woman on this occasion though; I mean all, to be the centre of all that unwanted attention, oh wait… So, there you go, I warned you it would be a long ‘un, it’s the insomnia, it gives me far too much time on my hands!!
As with anything with Stacey, it’s hard to know how much if any of what she puts out on Instagram is the truth but hey, what does it matter, this woman gives us life right?! And she loves us all to the moon and back so how could we complain?!
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Yourself and some of the other tattlers who write the recaps, have such talent for writing and comedy and should do it for a living. Maybe you do. The comments under articles about her are depressing. Why do so many people love/obsessed with her. I noticed her followers have went up from 4.8 to 4.9 million.
The comment which, at the end of their utter outrage about her being replaced on the cover, said "I don't even like Christmas Pudding!" So affronted on behalf of their leader! Made me laugh so much.
Perhaps the blow would have been softened had it been a cover with a Yule log or something more appealing to their palate? 
I’m positive she hasn’t washed her hair yet since she dyed it red… looks bloody awful 
that line won’t be internet for me just so funnyThe comment which, at the end of their utter outrage about her being replaced on the cover, said "I don't even like Christmas Pudding!" So affronted on behalf of their leader! Made me laugh so much.
I know! Too much.
I’m sure we will be able to tell when she does because it will go down about 5 shades and end up that washed out sort of pink colour like these box dyes always do! Although knowing her it was probably done professionally and the box was all for showI’m positive she hasn’t washed her hair yet since she dyed it red… looks bloody awful
She looks far better prettier and younger with dark brown hair. The red is just chavvy
I couldn't stand the nasty orange colour she has had it for the past 2 years
Looks like they are in London. Near Hyde park. Winter wonderland?
where did you see that?
I wonder if the kids are all with them as they would have to be off school to be there at this time of day !
Hope that’s not the dolls pram
Wonder if she is meeting her best bubs who is also in London oioi
on Joe’s page
Best bubs appears to be on a plane to Scotland to claim to be a charitable martyr. Who knows the reality of it all though.Wonder if she is meeting her best bubs who is also in London oioi
I've been over on her Fred catching up on it - poor Mario will be
if she doesn't visit him too - Status