Squirmy & Grubs #11 Shane Manor & the Curious Case of the Diaper Genie

[bluecow]

Bloody hell what a load of drivel , I gave up after the build a bear story.

 

[jolleee]

Bloody hell what a load of drivel , I gave up after the build a bear story.

I know this podcast of all the things they could do with McMansion their fans paid for they just give voice podcast ugh

 

[fredflintstone]

They are actually doing captions again. From Can We Get Though This Without Fighting, January 18, 2023.

Shane: Hannah, I have a complaint.

Hannah: What's your complaint, Shane?

Shane: In our last episode of Junkyard Mayhem, we posed a question to the audience. Who would you prefer bring us in and out of each segment? Me or you?

Hannah: Okay.

Shane: And an overwhelming number of people said you.

Hannah:I don't think that's true.

Shane: I'm the one that reads the comments.

Hannah: I feel like you're lying. Is that true?

Shane: Why don't you go ahead and bring us in today's episode? Give everyone what they want apparently. I'll just go sit outside, let me know when the podcast is over.

Hannah: I think you are better at bringing us into the podcast, and I think you are especially better at bringing us out. I do enjoy your antics.

Shane: The people have spoken. (music)

Hannah: Well, welcome to Junkyard Mayhem, episode 11. We are in LA.

Shane: (singing) We're in Los Angeles.

Hannah: So if you're watching this and not just listening, you can see that we are not in our home podcast studio.

Shane: This is our LA studio. No big deal. This LA studio doesn't have window blinds. So you might see some very aggressive lighting as we progress through our episodes.

Hannah: Yeah. Might want to switch to audio only for the next couple episodes. Put it on black and white. (both laugh)

Shane: All right. Well, today we have a very fun episode for you. We have a segment for you that will probably end in our divorce.

I'm excited about it.

We are going to be doing a debate.

Yep.

We've picked out three divisive questions. Hannah is a master debater, which is a word that you have to say very carefully.

Okay, Shane.

And I am not. And we're going to put those two skill levels to the test.

Yes, one of us did debate in high school.

It was not me. Before we get into that segment, because that's going to be a fight. It's going to be a negative experience for you and us. So before we do that, we have a fun, exciting, or not exciting, silly... tVery Junkyard Mayhemy sory from very early on in our relationship when Hannah and I were the biggest cheese balls that two people can be.

This is going to make us feel loving toward each other so that we can hopefully survive the next segment.

Yeah, remember the good in our relationship?

Yeah. So Shane, when was this? This was like 2016.

Time is an enigma.

I think you say that every time I bring up a date.

Time is a vague, murky, unknowable.

It's not actually. This was in the summer of 2016. I think it was in August since I actually have a specific memory...

Do you keep notes about these things?

About events like this and I was visiting Shane in Pennsylvania.

This is when we were long distance.

Yeah. And this was like the third visit. This was in August 2016. This was my third visit to Pennsylvania. And I had this idea that like when you had a boyfriend, maybe you would go to build a bear and get like a couple's stuffed animal.

Wait, you had this idea like this was a part of you?

Yeah.

Before you met me, this was a thing?

Like this was just like a thing that I guess I just thought maybe this was something that you might do.

And Hannah was dropping these hints throughout the early months of our relationship. Like wouldn't it be cute if we might have made like a couple's bear?

Like what?

I had never stepped wheel into a build a bear in my life because I was a 25 year old human being at the time, and...

In my defense, you were 23. I was 20. But I was 20. Isn't that a little bit sad?

I wasn't like 14. I was 20.

But this is also the time in our relationship when we were beginning to realize that okay, this is like real.

Yeah.

Like this is love, love. And all of these goodbyes because we were long distance and Hannah would visit or I would visit. And then we'd have to say goodbye for a month or two months or three months.

Yeah.

And they were really getting hard and it was miserable whenever we weren't in person together. So on this visit, we were like, you know what, maybe that bear would be a cute thing for Hannah to have.

Yeah.

To remember me when we're not together.

Exactly. I had one of your sweatshirts that miraculously fit me. It was a small sweatshirt, but it fit me. And I wanted something else. So I wanted a build a bear. And finally on this third visit, we decided to go to build a bear.

It was a mistake. I'm going to just say that right up front.

I still have the build a bear. It wasn't a mistake, but it was not the experience that I thought it might be.

It wasn't a dreamy romantic... Boyfriend takes girlfriend into build a bear and makes her a bear. No.

So we go to the mall. I'm really, really excited. We're walking through. I remember we stopped and got like ice tea. At a little ice tea stand. I was excited about that.

We had like cute outfits on. We were going to like do this build a bear. Then like go to dinner. I know. Walking through the mall, Hannah's arm is draped around my shoulders. We're stopping every like four feet to kiss. It's disgusting.

We're really excited. So we go to build a bear.

We saunter into build a bear.

And I don't know if I was mistaken and couples don't normally go to build a bear. Maybe I was just wrong. I honestly have no idea.

Or... was it my wheelchair?

Or was it the fact that the build a bear employee who happened to be working that day was confused about the nature of our relationship?

To give you a sense of what Hannah means by that. When we entered build a bear, I saw three or four different employees gasp, rush over and say things like, oh my goodness, he's here for a bear isn't he? This is his trip. You know they saw my wheelchair and instantly were like, oh boy, this is it. This is the moment we've been waiting for. We are going to make a little disabled boy's dreams come true.

This might be his make-a-wish. We don't know. This could be it.

And what transpired was like a version of hypothetical freaks. The game we play where we make up hypothetical ridiculous situations but played out in real life.

It's like the employees were playing hypothetical freaks in person.

So in build a bear you get paired up with an employee who kind of walks you through the whole ordeal.

Yeah.

It is an ordeal. And she comes over and the first thing she does is kind of look at Hannah and determine that Hannah is my mother, my caregiver, my caretaker, my attendant. And says to Hannah something like, all right, what are we going to be making for him today? Instantly we're like, oh no, no, no, we're making a bear together. And she's like, oh, so cute. Are you guys friends? Yeah. You know, brother and sister, what are you? We were like, no.

I think she actually said are you guys brother and sister.

She asked something, yeah, I'm trying to remember. We were like, no, no, no, this is my girlfriend. This is my boyfriend.

Yeah.

Her jaw hit the floor. This experience just became a holy experience.

But I feel like from that point on she was a little bit standoffish. I don't know if she thought she was being pranked. Like in my memory she was not really that like involved after that. Do you remember that? I feel like she was just kind of like, oh, okay.

She was very unsettled.

Unsettled.

She was like, walking on eggshells.

Yeah.

But we had to like pick out the bear we wanted. Yeah. And Hannah and I's...Hannah and my, Hannah and I.

Yeah, my. Our behavior, you know, in regards to like making this bear was kind of tongue in cheek.

Yeah. Like we made fun of every bear option that was available.

Or at least you did. Oh, I did. Hannah would hold up an alligator and be like, should I do this?

And I would make a joke. And what I realized was that this woman probably didn't understand that we were just kidding around with each other and it instead looked like I, as the boyfriend was like, we're going to make you a bear and then ridiculed every decision that Hannah made about this bear.

Oh no, you're right. Do you remember when I put my voice inside the bear? So I didn't want any add ons because they're very expensive.

I wanted a naked bear. That's the other thing. Hannah kept denying all the cute stuff that you could ask.

So she was like, just give me a plain bear. Please. And the woman was like, are you guys having fun? Yeah. I guess people normally... I did not want to spend money on an outfit.

So I was like, I want the bear and I want nothing else, like nothing. And Shane insisted at one point on putting his voice inside the bear, which I was very much against because I was like, well, then it might accidentally go off while I'm like snuggling the bear and then it's going to terrify me.

But Shane was like, no, no, no, this is the only special part. Like this is my choice. We're like fighting in front of this woman. I'm like, I don't want it.

And he's like, well, you're going to have it. And so, to do this, I wanted to record a little voice memo that Hannah wouldn't know what it said until later on.

So I had the employee help me. That was a romantic experience in and of itself because she had to hold a little microphone to my mouth and I'm doing like sultry whispering like, hey babe, I'm going to miss you so much.

You said, hey babe, I miss you very much and I'll see you very soon. I looked up the woman is sobbing just absolutely falling apart.

This is now the cutest thing she has ever seen. She's still baffled. She's sobbing but confused.

You had to retake it like four or five times too because you didn't know it was such a short... Like you kept going over. She was like, oh, you poor thing.

And I'll just say when you play that voice memo, the echoing sounds of the people in the mall all around Shane because I think they went out into the mall to do it.

It's just, it is not a nice thing to listen to. So we made this gnarly, stripped down, naked bear.

We named it something ridiculous. We're not going to say what the name was, but it was embarrassing.

Yeah. Cringy and gross. And then they brought it over on a birth certificate. Yep, and they were like, they had to still be excited and like, you know, pretending this is adorable even though they are mortified by what we were doing in their store.

They bring over our certificate and like pronounced our baby boy, you know, alive and here's your bear.

Please get out of our store. You're scaring the other customers. This is a store for children.

Yeah. Did you enjoy the bear building experience? Not really.

I didn't really. Do you want to tell them where your bear is today? Because I know where it is.

It's actually, it's in our bedroom. Is it? Yeah, I moved it. It was in a box in the basement. It was in a box for like three years.

Shane got mad because he, the other day remembered when we were talking about this, he remembered that we made that bear and he was like, wait a second, where is it?

And I was like, oh, I don't think I ever unpacked it when we moved. So it was in a box for a year, but I went and got it from the basement and now I havenit in our bedroom. And I will say for the months or the years that we were long distance, you did have thatbear by your side more often than maybe you should have. It was in my dorm room. I loved my bear.

It served its purpose. I think that I should start a business where I can go with strangers to build a bear as their fake boyfriend. If they want a really magical build a bear experience.

It kind of throws it off. I don't think anyone wants that experience. It confuses everyone. It really does. So that was our build a bear story.

Very romantic, very weird, very Junkyard Mayhem. We should go back. Don't they have build a bear in LA?

I'm sure they do. Let's go to every build a bear in LA. I want to go to the original one that we went to the first time and I want to be like, you

know what? We're married now. We weren't kidding around. It's probably not the same employees.

It's probably not. All right, everyone. We're going to take a quick break and then we will come back with a much less happy...

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Zocdoc.com slash junkyard. All right. It is time for Junkyard demolition.

Whoa. That's a good name. It's a good name, but it doesn't really reflect what we're about to be doing, except for demolishing each other's well-being. We are about to debate in front of you in real time.

Hannah and I argue often. It's one of our favorite things to do in our relationship. I wouldn't say argue.

We like debate. Debate. Yeah. I was going to say, it's never in a mean nasty way, but we're very opinionated people.

And we often enjoy discussions. Heated discussions, where we are trying to prove the other wrong and put holes in their ideas and dreams. I hope I don't actually get mad at you. I hope you do, that would make for a great episode.

I know. I think I'm going to get mad at you because there's no way I won't. We randomly selected three starter debate topics out of a list of 100 so that we wouldn't know what they were. So we couldn't prepare. Hannah has them now. We have three of them.

I don't really know how to debate's start. Maybe you can tell us since you were in debate in high school.

There's an affirmative side, a negative side, which I guess we'll just decide which we want.

Hopefully we fall on different sides of the issue. I know. Then we would do our opening statements.

Then we would do rebuttals to rebut each other's opening statements. I'm going to rebut the hell out of you.

There's cross-questioning where we can ask questions to each other. I don't know how... This isn't going to stay structured though.

Did I need a lawyer? It's just a laughable idea that we are going to be like, and now your turn.

I'm... Do you have your timer? I don't have my timer. Three minutes on the clock. All right. Let's get into it.

First question. All right. The first question is... Oh, also, the audience, you are the judge.

For each one, award a point and whoever gets some more points out of three.

Leave a comment who won each round. Round one. Ding ding ding. Round one.

The thing is, people are just going to vote for the side they agree with. That's what I would do.

Whoever argues their side better. Okay. But these are just kind of like opinions. Happiness is more important than success.

(Shane laughs) This is perfectly suited for us. Hannah, go ahead and give your opening statement.

We don't even need to discuss which side we're on. It's so obvious. I'm on the affirmative side of this.

Shane, I believe that happiness is more important than success. And I know in the very core of my being that you are incorrect.

The rules have already been broken. Success, ladies and gentlemen, is more important than happiness.

Okay. The thing is... Today, I stand before you, a humble man, a broken man, a successful man, and a happy man.

I know without a shadow of a doubt. Is this how debates work? No. I think it's whoever is more assertive and dominant.

So I guess I'll just become assertive and dominant. The thing is, you want success because you're assuming that that will bring you happiness, correct?

I feel that it's kind of a kill two birds with one stone type of situation.

Success begets happiness. No, that's where you're wrong. That's where you're wrong and your own life proves it.

You are forever dissatisfied. Dropping personal bombs. Dropping personal bombs.

Shane, if you had looked at where we are right now five years ago, seven years ago when we met, you would have your mind blown.

Every goal that you ever set for yourself, you reached. And yet now, you are no more happy than you were seven years ago.

I disagree. You were just as happy seven years ago as you are now. Yes, I'm seven years happier because my success has carried me and my set point of happiness throughout the years. Yeah, your set point of happiness changes though. Because of my success.

That's what I'm saying. You can get more and more successful, but you're not getting more and more happy. Hannah, let me ask you a very simple question.

What makes you happy? It's like family, doing things that you love, being comfortable, a certain amount of money and amenities. But at a certain point, you're not getting more happy.

Are you going to get psychological on me here? It's not psychological. It's just like look at your own life.

That's why I'm putting it in terms of you because I feel that that should be easy for you to understand. Do you think I'm happier than I was seven years ago?

Yes. Oh my God. Shane, we were so happy seven years ago. We're just as happy now.

We don't go to build a bear as often. (both laugh)

No, but I genuinely do. I prioritize success, to a default.

No, not to a default. You mean to a fault? To a fault. To a default.

It is your default also. This is why I'm not a debater because I just spit words out and they don't make sense.

The judge is like we don't know what your argument was. And you do put success over happiness. Because I genuinely believe, I think that happiness is the pinnacle of human existence.

Oh look, he just stepped in it. I might have just reversed my own opinion. He just stepped in it. I win.

Ding, ding, ding. I believe that success is a means to an end for the happiness. If I just sat around all day, you know, twiddling my thumbs and humming my favorite songs and eating my favorite foods and watching my favorite movies, all the things that bring me happiness.

That might last for a day, two days. But I need that internal drive, that climbing the mountain, achieving things.

I'm the kind of person that would just be happy doing the movies and the sitting around twiddling my thumbs endlessly.

That's what she does most days. But I'm just saying, you say you want that internal drive, but you never ever reach it.

So I don't see how that's satisfying. It's about, it's the journey. It's the people you meet along the way.

That's tiring to me. And now you're just using cliches. So I declare myself the winner. Shane said that the pinnacle of humanity is happiness.

So I think that that means happiness is more important than success. But we are... Also, what even is success?

Happiness is at least like, we have a sense of that. What's success? Success is self defined, which is why anyone can be successful.

Hmm. That's good. 10 points for Shane. Oh my God. No, you don't get to go back on saying happiness is the pinnacle.

All right. So I took that round. Let's move on to round number two. All right.

Question number two. Oh wait. Ding, ding, ding. Go ahead. This isn't a boxing ring.

I don't know why we're doing ding, ding, ding. Not yet, it's not. It is better to be kind than to be truthful.

Ooh. These are existential.

Yeah, they are. What list did you read from?

I think that we also fall on different sides.

I don't like existential questions. I would have preferred to debate like a scientific question.

Maybe, well, that's pretty easy though. Okay.

No, there are some that would work.

Let's debate whether or not scientific topics would be... All right.

I believe that it is more important to be kind than truthful.

I think that interpersonal relationships and the well-being and comfort of others is paramount in human interaction.

That makes sense.

And I think that anyone that thinks otherwise is a monster of a human being.

That kind of tone is not accepted in debate. You would be kicked right out. I will say, I don't really know where I actually fall down on this. I'll take the other side because I think that's obviously the point of this.

You hear that, Judges? She doesn't even feel a conviction.

That's not the point of debate. You don't need to feel conviction. You're assigned randomly when you're doing debate. It's not about what you feel. It's about actually, we should be arguing the opposite sides. That would allow you to stretch your argumentative muscles.

I don't want to stretch anything.

Okay.

I hate stretching. I want to tell you what I believe.

I believe it is more important to be truthful than to be kind. I am not capable of being kind in a non-truthful way. So that kind of works for me. If I don't like someone or what someone said, there is no putting on a smile and...

She doesn't fake it very well.

Being friendly. I don't fake it very well. So I don't really have a choice in where I fall on this matter anyway, but I do think that it's more important to be truthful than to be kind. I know that your interpersonal relationships thing, you think being kind is more important. So Shane, when you are talking to someone, you would prefer that they lie to you and say something that they perceive as kind versus tell you the truth. If you ask them, is what I wrote good? You would prefer that someone lie to you versus be truthful.

If they can lie really well so that I believe it. Really? You wouldn't want the truth.

No. God, I hate this game. I'm coming down on the same side as Hannah.

I think a lot of people... You want to be kind to someone, but you want to receive the truth. So I don't think it would be fair to be like, it's more important to be kind to people, but I hope people are truthful to me.

Every single day when we are getting ready for the day, Hannah shoves her armpit into my face.

Oh, my God. This is not true.

And says, do I smell?

This is once a week. I do do that like once a week.

The fact that it exists is my favorite thing.

Every once in a while, you got to check and I can't tell.

I guess if I am untruthful and I lie and I say,

no, you don't smell.

You smell wonderful. You smell like roses. You're the most beautiful smelling person I've ever met.

When in reality, it's like a junkyard in that armpit. Then yeah, you know what? That's a bad thing. I would be doing you a disservice.

So you're just arguing my side. Also, I like how I picked your writing and you picked that my armpit smells like a junkyard.So rude.

I'm using real examples from our lives.

So I win that round again because you just switched sides and argued my side.

This is why I didn't do debate in high school.

Oh my God.

I like writing where you can think through your thoughts rather than having to come up with them off the top of your head.

All right. Ding, ding, ding. I win. Round three, scientists should develop a way for everyone to live forever.

Oh, my goodness.

That's kind of a scientific one. It has scientists in the title. Look at that, science!

Scientists should develop a way? Scientists should develop a way for everyone to live forever.

What's your opinion? I'm a strong no. You're a strong no? Yeah. Ooh, I think I'm a yes.

Okay. I have a problem with eternity. Yeah. This is going to get dark.

I know you have a problem with eternity, but... You ever lay awake at night and just stare at the ceiling and wonder or realize that you're going to die. Yeah, I think so. You're not going to live forever. I don't realize it every night.

I know it. It's not so much of a realization as it is just a regular thought.

Does it ever just occur to you? But the idea when you're a kid of everyone living forever is a great one.

I love that. However, when you actually think about it, we cannot mentally wrap our heads around forever.

When you say that you think that scientists should, I'm like, I don't think you're really grasping forever, forever.

When I think of forever, I see you. Okay. And if that were true, that would raise a whole host of issues.

First of all, would everyone just have access to this? Because I highly doubt it based on how we structure our society. Oh, there would be a disparity.

I don't know if you'd be given the treatment. Second, what would happen about having kids?

Would people just not be allowed to have kids anymore if you chose it? Because you can't just fill up the earth with immortals forever.

Interesting point. So it raises all sorts of ethical issues that I don't think are worth it.

Practicalities aside. Well, no, no, let's not put those aside.

Dismissing and ignoring everything you just said. I think that the, you know, the key.

No. I think that the single biggest driver for any of us in life is our own mortality.

And how incredible would it be if we weren't all constantly somewhere deep down fighting against this understanding that our time here is limited? But I don't think, I think what you're saying the first time makes more sense.

Like it's the biggest driver behind everyone, or at least it should be. I think if we lived forever, we would kind of lose all purpose.

Like what would you even do then? There'd be no point to anything. Because you would eventually do everything.

Another debate tactic, saying you're right to your opponent. Try it out, kids.

I think life extension 100%, but I do think like there should be an end because otherwise, like forever is forever. That's true. If there's no end, then you are eventually running out of everything in the universe and then you will still have forever to just implode in your own brain.

But you can eat at every restaurant a thousand million times over. But eventually the earth is probably going to die.

You know, where are we going to go now? Before that happens, you can eat at every restaurant.

You just want an extra like 10 years. You can live long enough to see mind blowing inventions.

Uh huh. You know, maybe we figure out how to build other planets.

But other generations can do that. You just want that all for yourself. Yeah, this is a very selfish opinion. Okay.

But yeah, I want to be around when they invent 6G cell phones. So do you want...? That's...

7G cell phones. Very limited. Do you want to live forever or do you want to live for a thousand years?

I want to live forever and then see. No, you do not. I don't believe you. You're just saying that for the debate.

Do you maintain like your current physical state or is a 999,000 year old?

I know. Like much different kind of person than a 30 year old.

Well, I have no idea. If you maintain, like if I maintain my 30 year old personhood.

You're just frozen like a vampire? Well, frozen in time. Yeah. Then yeah, I want to.

If everyone around me, no, I don't want to live forever. I think you're right.

Honestly, yeah, but the fact that we die is the biggest motivator in my life.

Yeah. On some level, unspoken level. And without it, there's really no urgency.

There's nothing, without it, there's nothing. Not even urgency in like professional worlds, but like in love, you know?

Yeah. Like, why get married, why find a partner when you can do that in 300,000 years?

Exactly. All right. So I won all three rounds. You just have to let Shane keep talking.

He'll eventually talk himself out of it. I don't know. No, I think I won because. Okay.

Growth is more important than conviction. Thank arguing correctly, of course.

So I'll just flop to all of your sides and I'll call that winning. All right.

That was our first debate segment, Junkyard Demolition. I don't like debating you in front of a camera.

I think we should do this every week. All right. We'll be right back with a fun game called Hypothetical Freaks.

(music) All right. We are back from our break. We are ready for Hypothetical Freaks and this is a special edition.

We are really scared. Shane, do you know what is happening in three days?

I got an email today. It's in three days. I don't know if I'm ready. It's in three days. Why don't you tell them? We are taking our first ever cruise.

Oh my God. I'm terrified. Do you know how easily I get motion sick? Very, very easily. She gets motion sick in the driver's seat of a car.

Most people, you have to be in the back and reading or something. If anyone drives me at all, I can't.

So I... If you lean over the wrong way, you get motion sick. You get out of bed and you're like, oh man.

She was helping me use the bathroom like two days ago. That's not motion sick. That's just lightheaded.

Well, they're all intertwined. It feels intertwined. I think your lightheaded-ness is gonna come into play when your motion sick.

So I have like four different kinds of medication. I have patches. I have the wristbands.

I'm hopefully well prepared and hopefully the seas are steady.

But we're kind of a little bit nervous about going on this cruise. Our first one ever, is Hannah gonna be throwing up the whole time?
32:
Am I gonna have to fend for myself? Will I get to captain the boat? Lots of questions as we enter it.

So we're going to play Hypothetical Freaks. So I think we should begin by addressing how to handle it.

If you are extremely ill. And I think because of what we're paying for this cruise that we need to just deal with it and partake in every activity out there, no matter how green in the face you are.

Wow. If we have to go to dinner with a few baggies in your pockets and you have to empty yourself a few times at the table. You know what? This is being made all the worse and people don't know because we are going with friends.

We are going with Cole and Charisma from their YouTube channel. You might know them. So this is happening while we are, what, face to face with them at the dinner table?

Yes. I just hold up my napkin and throw up behind it? No napkin. You hold the bag up to your face and you stare them straight in the eye and you puke and you keep a smile on your face. We will have fun on this cruise no matter what.

What I sincerely believe and this isn't even hypothetical freaks at this point. If I am motion sick, I do believe that if I am in water, I think I will feel better.

Because I have been in an ocean and I do not feel motion sick in an ocean. I did get sick once when I was scuba diving so maybe this isn't true.

But I'm hoping that if I get in the pool on the boat and it's like 60 degrees right now so I'm not sure if the pool is even going to be in use. But if I float all day long, I might be able to make it through the cruise.

Is this a hypothetical freak thing? Yeah. Me floating all day. It's my true solution A, but B it makes a good hypothetical freaks because the image of me alone in the pool floating on my back. At 4am.

I'm going to have to ask them to keep the pool open overnight so that I can survive is a good one. That's the hypothetical freaks scenario.

You going to the nurses office to request a pass to be in the pool overnight because you need to be floating. An accommodation. Speaking of the nurses office, you're probably going to end up there.

Let's not kid ourselves. There's going to be some time spent on a gurney in this ship and I think that I should bring the Disney cast into your room to make you feel better. I'm going to find Mickey out on the ship.

He's gonna see me in my wheelchair and lose his mind. I'm going to be like Mickey, I cannot believe that this is you.

I'm so excited and I need your help. And he's gonna be like (bad Mickey impression) Okay. They don't talk.

Mickey doesn't talk. Mickey is very high pitched. Mickey doesn't talk. It's something Mickey does. I know, I'm saying, when you meet Mickey, he's not going to be speaking to you.

I'm going to say, Mickey take my hand and I'm going to lead him through the through ship. He's going to say, where are we going? I'm going to say...

No, he isn't. There's someone I want you to meet. I'm going to bring him into your nurses station room.

Mickey. I'm going to ask him to lie down with you and cuddle you because I'm going to tell him she's not able to lift me in the bed. I can't hug her. Mickey, I need you. That's nice.

That's thoughtful of you. I'm going to wander the halls of the cruise ship at night, singing.

(singing) M-I-C-K-E-Y-M-O-U-S-E. It'd be funnier if you were singing like the Titanic theme song.

I'm going to wander around the cruise ship. Just going, so no icebergs, right? None. There's none in this area. Are you sure?

We should just wear life vests the whole time just to be safe. Wouldn't want to risk it. I'm going to tell strangers that I'm, what's the word for terrified of water? Hydropobic.

And this is my worst nightmare, but you're convinced that this is how I'm gonna get over my fear.

Yeah. Well, I think that almost wraps up hypothetical freaks. I have one more scenario for you, Shane.

I'm feeling better. This is a true one. Shane cannot get off the boat at the one stop.

We have one stop on our cruise, and he can't get off. It's not accessible. Yeah, neither can Cole.

You can't get off in a wheelchair. And so I just feel like that scenario, that situation of everyone else getting off the boat.

There's a lot we can do with that. There's a lot that's going to, yeah. Ooh. So we're all aware that we can't get off, and we could just stay on the boat and enjoy the activities with no people there, which is what we will do in real life. But in hypothetical freaks land, I'm going to sit at the exit, watch everyone get off, and then stay there.

And the employees are going to be picking up and closing the gate and looking at me, and I'm just

going to just sit and whimper. I'm not going to cry, I'm going to whimper. Everyone's pulling away in their little tender boats.

(Shane whimpering) And then when they get back on, ask every single person what they did.

What was it like? And an employee eventually is going to come over and be like, hey, are you okay?

What are you doing? And I'm going to say my dream was to see Mexico.

My one dream. That would get us something.

You might be given a free cupcake at that point. That's really my goal in all of this. Yeah.

Make the employees feel so bad that they give me cupcakes. Well, I feel much better.

Yeah, I do too. I'm hoping I don't get seasick. Oh, we'll see. Lord, if she does, we're going to have actual Junkyard Mayhem to report next time.

I don't do well when I'm nauseous. We'll see. But I'm excited. All right, everyone. That was Junkyard Mayhem, episode 11.

If you enjoyed this podcast, please leave a review on whatever platform you are using.

You're doing a great job taking us out. Like us, star us, review us.

And? I'm getting bored. This is where we wrap it up nice and quick. Come on, Shane, give us a little tagline.

It is a junkyard out there, everyone. Put your life vest on because the ocean is in motion.

That doesn't bode well for me. The ocean is filled with garbage, which is sad but true.

Let's pick up the litter. Get out into that ocean. Clean it up.

Bring it to your nearest junkyard. Okay. Goodbye.

Okay, you win the internet for the next month for transcribing all that. I made it less than a quarter way through but will go back and finish later. Once again, excellent work! Thank you!

 

[DoubleOld]

They are actually doing captions again. From Can We Get Though This Without Fighting, January 18, 2023.

Shane: Hannah, I have a complaint.

Hannah: What's your complaint, Shane?

Shane: In our last episode of Junkyard Mayhem, we posed a question to the audience. Who would you prefer bring us in and out of each segment? Me or you?

Hannah: Okay.

Shane: And an overwhelming number of people said you.

Hannah:I don't think that's true.

Shane: I'm the one that reads the comments.

Hannah: I feel like you're lying. Is that true?

Shane: Why don't you go ahead and bring us in today's episode? Give everyone what they want apparently. I'll just go sit outside, let me know when the podcast is over.

Hannah: I think you are better at bringing us into the podcast, and I think you are especially better at bringing us out. I do enjoy your antics.

Shane: The people have spoken. (music)

Hannah: Well, welcome to Junkyard Mayhem, episode 11. We are in LA.

Shane: (singing) We're in Los Angeles.

Hannah: So if you're watching this and not just listening, you can see that we are not in our home podcast studio.

Shane: This is our LA studio. No big deal. This LA studio doesn't have window blinds. So you might see some very aggressive lighting as we progress through our episodes.

Hannah: Yeah. Might want to switch to audio only for the next couple episodes. Put it on black and white. (both laugh)

Shane: All right. Well, today we have a very fun episode for you. We have a segment for you that will probably end in our divorce.

I'm excited about it.

We are going to be doing a debate.

Yep.

We've picked out three divisive questions. Hannah is a master debater, which is a word that you have to say very carefully.

Okay, Shane.

And I am not. And we're going to put those two skill levels to the test.

Yes, one of us did debate in high school.

It was not me. Before we get into that segment, because that's going to be a fight. It's going to be a negative experience for you and us. So before we do that, we have a fun, exciting, or not exciting, silly... tVery Junkyard Mayhemy sory from very early on in our relationship when Hannah and I were the biggest cheese balls that two people can be.

This is going to make us feel loving toward each other so that we can hopefully survive the next segment.

Yeah, remember the good in our relationship?

Yeah. So Shane, when was this? This was like 2016.

Time is an enigma.

I think you say that every time I bring up a date.

Time is a vague, murky, unknowable.

It's not actually. This was in the summer of 2016. I think it was in August since I actually have a specific memory...

Do you keep notes about these things?

About events like this and I was visiting Shane in Pennsylvania.

This is when we were long distance.

Yeah. And this was like the third visit. This was in August 2016. This was my third visit to Pennsylvania. And I had this idea that like when you had a boyfriend, maybe you would go to build a bear and get like a couple's stuffed animal.

Wait, you had this idea like this was a part of you?

Yeah.

Before you met me, this was a thing?

Like this was just like a thing that I guess I just thought maybe this was something that you might do.

And Hannah was dropping these hints throughout the early months of our relationship. Like wouldn't it be cute if we might have made like a couple's bear?

Like what?

I had never stepped wheel into a build a bear in my life because I was a 25 year old human being at the time, and...

In my defense, you were 23. I was 20. But I was 20. Isn't that a little bit sad?

I wasn't like 14. I was 20.

But this is also the time in our relationship when we were beginning to realize that okay, this is like real.

Yeah.

Like this is love, love. And all of these goodbyes because we were long distance and Hannah would visit or I would visit. And then we'd have to say goodbye for a month or two months or three months.

Yeah.

And they were really getting hard and it was miserable whenever we weren't in person together. So on this visit, we were like, you know what, maybe that bear would be a cute thing for Hannah to have.

Yeah.

To remember me when we're not together.

Exactly. I had one of your sweatshirts that miraculously fit me. It was a small sweatshirt, but it fit me. And I wanted something else. So I wanted a build a bear. And finally on this third visit, we decided to go to build a bear.

It was a mistake. I'm going to just say that right up front.

I still have the build a bear. It wasn't a mistake, but it was not the experience that I thought it might be.

It wasn't a dreamy romantic... Boyfriend takes girlfriend into build a bear and makes her a bear. No.

So we go to the mall. I'm really, really excited. We're walking through. I remember we stopped and got like ice tea. At a little ice tea stand. I was excited about that.

We had like cute outfits on. We were going to like do this build a bear. Then like go to dinner. I know. Walking through the mall, Hannah's arm is draped around my shoulders. We're stopping every like four feet to kiss. It's disgusting.

We're really excited. So we go to build a bear.

We saunter into build a bear.

And I don't know if I was mistaken and couples don't normally go to build a bear. Maybe I was just wrong. I honestly have no idea.

Or... was it my wheelchair?

Or was it the fact that the build a bear employee who happened to be working that day was confused about the nature of our relationship?

To give you a sense of what Hannah means by that. When we entered build a bear, I saw three or four different employees gasp, rush over and say things like, oh my goodness, he's here for a bear isn't he? This is his trip. You know they saw my wheelchair and instantly were like, oh boy, this is it. This is the moment we've been waiting for. We are going to make a little disabled boy's dreams come true.

This might be his make-a-wish. We don't know. This could be it.

And what transpired was like a version of hypothetical freaks. The game we play where we make up hypothetical ridiculous situations but played out in real life.

It's like the employees were playing hypothetical freaks in person.

So in build a bear you get paired up with an employee who kind of walks you through the whole ordeal.

Yeah.

It is an ordeal. And she comes over and the first thing she does is kind of look at Hannah and determine that Hannah is my mother, my caregiver, my caretaker, my attendant. And says to Hannah something like, all right, what are we going to be making for him today? Instantly we're like, oh no, no, no, we're making a bear together. And she's like, oh, so cute. Are you guys friends? Yeah. You know, brother and sister, what are you? We were like, no.

I think she actually said are you guys brother and sister.

She asked something, yeah, I'm trying to remember. We were like, no, no, no, this is my girlfriend. This is my boyfriend.

Yeah.

Her jaw hit the floor. This experience just became a holy experience.

But I feel like from that point on she was a little bit standoffish. I don't know if she thought she was being pranked. Like in my memory she was not really that like involved after that. Do you remember that? I feel like she was just kind of like, oh, okay.

She was very unsettled.

Unsettled.

She was like, walking on eggshells.

Yeah.

But we had to like pick out the bear we wanted. Yeah. And Hannah and I's...Hannah and my, Hannah and I.

Yeah, my. Our behavior, you know, in regards to like making this bear was kind of tongue in cheek.

Yeah. Like we made fun of every bear option that was available.

Or at least you did. Oh, I did. Hannah would hold up an alligator and be like, should I do this?

And I would make a joke. And what I realized was that this woman probably didn't understand that we were just kidding around with each other and it instead looked like I, as the boyfriend was like, we're going to make you a bear and then ridiculed every decision that Hannah made about this bear.

Oh no, you're right. Do you remember when I put my voice inside the bear? So I didn't want any add ons because they're very expensive.

I wanted a naked bear. That's the other thing. Hannah kept denying all the cute stuff that you could ask.

So she was like, just give me a plain bear. Please. And the woman was like, are you guys having fun? Yeah. I guess people normally... I did not want to spend money on an outfit.

So I was like, I want the bear and I want nothing else, like nothing. And Shane insisted at one point on putting his voice inside the bear, which I was very much against because I was like, well, then it might accidentally go off while I'm like snuggling the bear and then it's going to terrify me.

But Shane was like, no, no, no, this is the only special part. Like this is my choice. We're like fighting in front of this woman. I'm like, I don't want it.

And he's like, well, you're going to have it. And so, to do this, I wanted to record a little voice memo that Hannah wouldn't know what it said until later on.

So I had the employee help me. That was a romantic experience in and of itself because she had to hold a little microphone to my mouth and I'm doing like sultry whispering like, hey babe, I'm going to miss you so much.

You said, hey babe, I miss you very much and I'll see you very soon. I looked up the woman is sobbing just absolutely falling apart.

This is now the cutest thing she has ever seen. She's still baffled. She's sobbing but confused.

You had to retake it like four or five times too because you didn't know it was such a short... Like you kept going over. She was like, oh, you poor thing.

And I'll just say when you play that voice memo, the echoing sounds of the people in the mall all around Shane because I think they went out into the mall to do it.

It's just, it is not a nice thing to listen to. So we made this gnarly, stripped down, naked bear.

We named it something ridiculous. We're not going to say what the name was, but it was embarrassing.

Yeah. Cringy and gross. And then they brought it over on a birth certificate. Yep, and they were like, they had to still be excited and like, you know, pretending this is adorable even though they are mortified by what we were doing in their store.

They bring over our certificate and like pronounced our baby boy, you know, alive and here's your bear.

Please get out of our store. You're scaring the other customers. This is a store for children.

Yeah. Did you enjoy the bear building experience? Not really.

I didn't really. Do you want to tell them where your bear is today? Because I know where it is.

It's actually, it's in our bedroom. Is it? Yeah, I moved it. It was in a box in the basement. It was in a box for like three years.

Shane got mad because he, the other day remembered when we were talking about this, he remembered that we made that bear and he was like, wait a second, where is it?

And I was like, oh, I don't think I ever unpacked it when we moved. So it was in a box for a year, but I went and got it from the basement and now I havenit in our bedroom. And I will say for the months or the years that we were long distance, you did have thatbear by your side more often than maybe you should have. It was in my dorm room. I loved my bear.

It served its purpose. I think that I should start a business where I can go with strangers to build a bear as their fake boyfriend. If they want a really magical build a bear experience.

It kind of throws it off. I don't think anyone wants that experience. It confuses everyone. It really does. So that was our build a bear story.

Very romantic, very weird, very Junkyard Mayhem. We should go back. Don't they have build a bear in LA?

I'm sure they do. Let's go to every build a bear in LA. I want to go to the original one that we went to the first time and I want to be like, you

know what? We're married now. We weren't kidding around. It's probably not the same employees.

It's probably not. All right, everyone. We're going to take a quick break and then we will come back with a much less happy...

Oh boy. We're going to fight. We're going to have a little debate. (music) We have all done that thing where you discover a new symptom that your body is having and you end up going online and stumbling down a terrifying, TikTok rabbit hole of questionable advice from so-called experts. Like the other week, I found this like mole on my belly that I'm not entirely convinced has always been there. And so obviously I went right online to try to figure out what this might be.

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Yeah. Zocdoc is the only free app that lets you find and book doctors who are patient-reviewed, take your insurance, are available when you need them, and treat almost every condition under the sun.

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Zocdoc.com slash junkyard. All right. It is time for Junkyard demolition.

Whoa. That's a good name. It's a good name, but it doesn't really reflect what we're about to be doing, except for demolishing each other's well-being. We are about to debate in front of you in real time.

Hannah and I argue often. It's one of our favorite things to do in our relationship. I wouldn't say argue.

We like debate. Debate. Yeah. I was going to say, it's never in a mean nasty way, but we're very opinionated people.

And we often enjoy discussions. Heated discussions, where we are trying to prove the other wrong and put holes in their ideas and dreams. I hope I don't actually get mad at you. I hope you do, that would make for a great episode.

I know. I think I'm going to get mad at you because there's no way I won't. We randomly selected three starter debate topics out of a list of 100 so that we wouldn't know what they were. So we couldn't prepare. Hannah has them now. We have three of them.

I don't really know how to debate's start. Maybe you can tell us since you were in debate in high school.

There's an affirmative side, a negative side, which I guess we'll just decide which we want.

Hopefully we fall on different sides of the issue. I know. Then we would do our opening statements.

Then we would do rebuttals to rebut each other's opening statements. I'm going to rebut the hell out of you.

There's cross-questioning where we can ask questions to each other. I don't know how... This isn't going to stay structured though.

Did I need a lawyer? It's just a laughable idea that we are going to be like, and now your turn.

I'm... Do you have your timer? I don't have my timer. Three minutes on the clock. All right. Let's get into it.

First question. All right. The first question is... Oh, also, the audience, you are the judge.

For each one, award a point and whoever gets some more points out of three.

Leave a comment who won each round. Round one. Ding ding ding. Round one.

The thing is, people are just going to vote for the side they agree with. That's what I would do.

Whoever argues their side better. Okay. But these are just kind of like opinions. Happiness is more important than success.

(Shane laughs) This is perfectly suited for us. Hannah, go ahead and give your opening statement.

We don't even need to discuss which side we're on. It's so obvious. I'm on the affirmative side of this.

Shane, I believe that happiness is more important than success. And I know in the very core of my being that you are incorrect.

The rules have already been broken. Success, ladies and gentlemen, is more important than happiness.

Okay. The thing is... Today, I stand before you, a humble man, a broken man, a successful man, and a happy man.

I know without a shadow of a doubt. Is this how debates work? No. I think it's whoever is more assertive and dominant.

So I guess I'll just become assertive and dominant. The thing is, you want success because you're assuming that that will bring you happiness, correct?

I feel that it's kind of a kill two birds with one stone type of situation.

Success begets happiness. No, that's where you're wrong. That's where you're wrong and your own life proves it.

You are forever dissatisfied. Dropping personal bombs. Dropping personal bombs.

Shane, if you had looked at where we are right now five years ago, seven years ago when we met, you would have your mind blown.

Every goal that you ever set for yourself, you reached. And yet now, you are no more happy than you were seven years ago.

I disagree. You were just as happy seven years ago as you are now. Yes, I'm seven years happier because my success has carried me and my set point of happiness throughout the years. Yeah, your set point of happiness changes though. Because of my success.

That's what I'm saying. You can get more and more successful, but you're not getting more and more happy. Hannah, let me ask you a very simple question.

What makes you happy? It's like family, doing things that you love, being comfortable, a certain amount of money and amenities. But at a certain point, you're not getting more happy.

Are you going to get psychological on me here? It's not psychological. It's just like look at your own life.

That's why I'm putting it in terms of you because I feel that that should be easy for you to understand. Do you think I'm happier than I was seven years ago?

Yes. Oh my God. Shane, we were so happy seven years ago. We're just as happy now.

We don't go to build a bear as often. (both laugh)

No, but I genuinely do. I prioritize success, to a default.

No, not to a default. You mean to a fault? To a fault. To a default.

It is your default also. This is why I'm not a debater because I just spit words out and they don't make sense.

The judge is like we don't know what your argument was. And you do put success over happiness. Because I genuinely believe, I think that happiness is the pinnacle of human existence.

Oh look, he just stepped in it. I might have just reversed my own opinion. He just stepped in it. I win.

Ding, ding, ding. I believe that success is a means to an end for the happiness. If I just sat around all day, you know, twiddling my thumbs and humming my favorite songs and eating my favorite foods and watching my favorite movies, all the things that bring me happiness.

That might last for a day, two days. But I need that internal drive, that climbing the mountain, achieving things.

I'm the kind of person that would just be happy doing the movies and the sitting around twiddling my thumbs endlessly.

That's what she does most days. But I'm just saying, you say you want that internal drive, but you never ever reach it.

So I don't see how that's satisfying. It's about, it's the journey. It's the people you meet along the way.

That's tiring to me. And now you're just using cliches. So I declare myself the winner. Shane said that the pinnacle of humanity is happiness.

So I think that that means happiness is more important than success. But we are... Also, what even is success?

Happiness is at least like, we have a sense of that. What's success? Success is self defined, which is why anyone can be successful.

Hmm. That's good. 10 points for Shane. Oh my God. No, you don't get to go back on saying happiness is the pinnacle.

All right. So I took that round. Let's move on to round number two. All right.

Question number two. Oh wait. Ding, ding, ding. Go ahead. This isn't a boxing ring.

I don't know why we're doing ding, ding, ding. Not yet, it's not. It is better to be kind than to be truthful.

Ooh. These are existential.

Yeah, they are. What list did you read from?

I think that we also fall on different sides.

I don't like existential questions. I would have preferred to debate like a scientific question.

Maybe, well, that's pretty easy though. Okay.

No, there are some that would work.

Let's debate whether or not scientific topics would be... All right.

I believe that it is more important to be kind than truthful.

I think that interpersonal relationships and the well-being and comfort of others is paramount in human interaction.

That makes sense.

And I think that anyone that thinks otherwise is a monster of a human being.

That kind of tone is not accepted in debate. You would be kicked right out. I will say, I don't really know where I actually fall down on this. I'll take the other side because I think that's obviously the point of this.

You hear that, Judges? She doesn't even feel a conviction.

That's not the point of debate. You don't need to feel conviction. You're assigned randomly when you're doing debate. It's not about what you feel. It's about actually, we should be arguing the opposite sides. That would allow you to stretch your argumentative muscles.

I don't want to stretch anything.

Okay.

I hate stretching. I want to tell you what I believe.

I believe it is more important to be truthful than to be kind. I am not capable of being kind in a non-truthful way. So that kind of works for me. If I don't like someone or what someone said, there is no putting on a smile and...

She doesn't fake it very well.

Being friendly. I don't fake it very well. So I don't really have a choice in where I fall on this matter anyway, but I do think that it's more important to be truthful than to be kind. I know that your interpersonal relationships thing, you think being kind is more important. So Shane, when you are talking to someone, you would prefer that they lie to you and say something that they perceive as kind versus tell you the truth. If you ask them, is what I wrote good? You would prefer that someone lie to you versus be truthful.

If they can lie really well so that I believe it. Really? You wouldn't want the truth.

No. God, I hate this game. I'm coming down on the same side as Hannah.

I think a lot of people... You want to be kind to someone, but you want to receive the truth. So I don't think it would be fair to be like, it's more important to be kind to people, but I hope people are truthful to me.

Every single day when we are getting ready for the day, Hannah shoves her armpit into my face.

Oh, my God. This is not true.

And says, do I smell?

This is once a week. I do do that like once a week.

The fact that it exists is my favorite thing.

Every once in a while, you got to check and I can't tell.

I guess if I am untruthful and I lie and I say,

no, you don't smell.

You smell wonderful. You smell like roses. You're the most beautiful smelling person I've ever met.

When in reality, it's like a junkyard in that armpit. Then yeah, you know what? That's a bad thing. I would be doing you a disservice.

So you're just arguing my side. Also, I like how I picked your writing and you picked that my armpit smells like a junkyard.So rude.

I'm using real examples from our lives.

So I win that round again because you just switched sides and argued my side.

This is why I didn't do debate in high school.

Oh my God.

I like writing where you can think through your thoughts rather than having to come up with them off the top of your head.

All right. Ding, ding, ding. I win. Round three, scientists should develop a way for everyone to live forever.

Oh, my goodness.

That's kind of a scientific one. It has scientists in the title. Look at that, science!

Scientists should develop a way? Scientists should develop a way for everyone to live forever.

What's your opinion? I'm a strong no. You're a strong no? Yeah. Ooh, I think I'm a yes.

Okay. I have a problem with eternity. Yeah. This is going to get dark.

I know you have a problem with eternity, but... You ever lay awake at night and just stare at the ceiling and wonder or realize that you're going to die. Yeah, I think so. You're not going to live forever. I don't realize it every night.

I know it. It's not so much of a realization as it is just a regular thought.

Does it ever just occur to you? But the idea when you're a kid of everyone living forever is a great one.

I love that. However, when you actually think about it, we cannot mentally wrap our heads around forever.

When you say that you think that scientists should, I'm like, I don't think you're really grasping forever, forever.

When I think of forever, I see you. Okay. And if that were true, that would raise a whole host of issues.

First of all, would everyone just have access to this? Because I highly doubt it based on how we structure our society. Oh, there would be a disparity.

I don't know if you'd be given the treatment. Second, what would happen about having kids?

Would people just not be allowed to have kids anymore if you chose it? Because you can't just fill up the earth with immortals forever.

Interesting point. So it raises all sorts of ethical issues that I don't think are worth it.

Practicalities aside. Well, no, no, let's not put those aside.

Dismissing and ignoring everything you just said. I think that the, you know, the key.

No. I think that the single biggest driver for any of us in life is our own mortality.

And how incredible would it be if we weren't all constantly somewhere deep down fighting against this understanding that our time here is limited? But I don't think, I think what you're saying the first time makes more sense.

Like it's the biggest driver behind everyone, or at least it should be. I think if we lived forever, we would kind of lose all purpose.

Like what would you even do then? There'd be no point to anything. Because you would eventually do everything.

Another debate tactic, saying you're right to your opponent. Try it out, kids.

I think life extension 100%, but I do think like there should be an end because otherwise, like forever is forever. That's true. If there's no end, then you are eventually running out of everything in the universe and then you will still have forever to just implode in your own brain.

But you can eat at every restaurant a thousand million times over. But eventually the earth is probably going to die.

You know, where are we going to go now? Before that happens, you can eat at every restaurant.

You just want an extra like 10 years. You can live long enough to see mind blowing inventions.

Uh huh. You know, maybe we figure out how to build other planets.

But other generations can do that. You just want that all for yourself. Yeah, this is a very selfish opinion. Okay.

But yeah, I want to be around when they invent 6G cell phones. So do you want...? That's...

7G cell phones. Very limited. Do you want to live forever or do you want to live for a thousand years?

I want to live forever and then see. No, you do not. I don't believe you. You're just saying that for the debate.

Do you maintain like your current physical state or is a 999,000 year old?

I know. Like much different kind of person than a 30 year old.

Well, I have no idea. If you maintain, like if I maintain my 30 year old personhood.

You're just frozen like a vampire? Well, frozen in time. Yeah. Then yeah, I want to.

If everyone around me, no, I don't want to live forever. I think you're right.

Honestly, yeah, but the fact that we die is the biggest motivator in my life.

Yeah. On some level, unspoken level. And without it, there's really no urgency.

There's nothing, without it, there's nothing. Not even urgency in like professional worlds, but like in love, you know?

Yeah. Like, why get married, why find a partner when you can do that in 300,000 years?

Exactly. All right. So I won all three rounds. You just have to let Shane keep talking.

He'll eventually talk himself out of it. I don't know. No, I think I won because. Okay.

Growth is more important than conviction. Thank arguing correctly, of course.

So I'll just flop to all of your sides and I'll call that winning. All right.

That was our first debate segment, Junkyard Demolition. I don't like debating you in front of a camera.

I think we should do this every week. All right. We'll be right back with a fun game called Hypothetical Freaks.

(music) All right. We are back from our break. We are ready for Hypothetical Freaks and this is a special edition.

We are really scared. Shane, do you know what is happening in three days?

I got an email today. It's in three days. I don't know if I'm ready. It's in three days. Why don't you tell them? We are taking our first ever cruise.

Oh my God. I'm terrified. Do you know how easily I get motion sick? Very, very easily. She gets motion sick in the driver's seat of a car.

Most people, you have to be in the back and reading or something. If anyone drives me at all, I can't.

So I... If you lean over the wrong way, you get motion sick. You get out of bed and you're like, oh man.

She was helping me use the bathroom like two days ago. That's not motion sick. That's just lightheaded.

Well, they're all intertwined. It feels intertwined. I think your lightheaded-ness is gonna come into play when your motion sick.

So I have like four different kinds of medication. I have patches. I have the wristbands.

I'm hopefully well prepared and hopefully the seas are steady.

But we're kind of a little bit nervous about going on this cruise. Our first one ever, is Hannah gonna be throwing up the whole time?
32:
Am I gonna have to fend for myself? Will I get to captain the boat? Lots of questions as we enter it.

So we're going to play Hypothetical Freaks. So I think we should begin by addressing how to handle it.

If you are extremely ill. And I think because of what we're paying for this cruise that we need to just deal with it and partake in every activity out there, no matter how green in the face you are.

Wow. If we have to go to dinner with a few baggies in your pockets and you have to empty yourself a few times at the table. You know what? This is being made all the worse and people don't know because we are going with friends.

We are going with Cole and Charisma from their YouTube channel. You might know them. So this is happening while we are, what, face to face with them at the dinner table?

Yes. I just hold up my napkin and throw up behind it? No napkin. You hold the bag up to your face and you stare them straight in the eye and you puke and you keep a smile on your face. We will have fun on this cruise no matter what.

What I sincerely believe and this isn't even hypothetical freaks at this point. If I am motion sick, I do believe that if I am in water, I think I will feel better.

Because I have been in an ocean and I do not feel motion sick in an ocean. I did get sick once when I was scuba diving so maybe this isn't true.

But I'm hoping that if I get in the pool on the boat and it's like 60 degrees right now so I'm not sure if the pool is even going to be in use. But if I float all day long, I might be able to make it through the cruise.

Is this a hypothetical freak thing? Yeah. Me floating all day. It's my true solution A, but B it makes a good hypothetical freaks because the image of me alone in the pool floating on my back. At 4am.

I'm going to have to ask them to keep the pool open overnight so that I can survive is a good one. That's the hypothetical freaks scenario.

You going to the nurses office to request a pass to be in the pool overnight because you need to be floating. An accommodation. Speaking of the nurses office, you're probably going to end up there.

Let's not kid ourselves. There's going to be some time spent on a gurney in this ship and I think that I should bring the Disney cast into your room to make you feel better. I'm going to find Mickey out on the ship.

He's gonna see me in my wheelchair and lose his mind. I'm going to be like Mickey, I cannot believe that this is you.

I'm so excited and I need your help. And he's gonna be like (bad Mickey impression) Okay. They don't talk.

Mickey doesn't talk. Mickey is very high pitched. Mickey doesn't talk. It's something Mickey does. I know, I'm saying, when you meet Mickey, he's not going to be speaking to you.

I'm going to say, Mickey take my hand and I'm going to lead him through the through ship. He's going to say, where are we going? I'm going to say...

No, he isn't. There's someone I want you to meet. I'm going to bring him into your nurses station room.

Mickey. I'm going to ask him to lie down with you and cuddle you because I'm going to tell him she's not able to lift me in the bed. I can't hug her. Mickey, I need you. That's nice.

That's thoughtful of you. I'm going to wander the halls of the cruise ship at night, singing.

(singing) M-I-C-K-E-Y-M-O-U-S-E. It'd be funnier if you were singing like the Titanic theme song.

I'm going to wander around the cruise ship. Just going, so no icebergs, right? None. There's none in this area. Are you sure?

We should just wear life vests the whole time just to be safe. Wouldn't want to risk it. I'm going to tell strangers that I'm, what's the word for terrified of water? Hydropobic.

And this is my worst nightmare, but you're convinced that this is how I'm gonna get over my fear.

Yeah. Well, I think that almost wraps up hypothetical freaks. I have one more scenario for you, Shane.

I'm feeling better. This is a true one. Shane cannot get off the boat at the one stop.

We have one stop on our cruise, and he can't get off. It's not accessible. Yeah, neither can Cole.

You can't get off in a wheelchair. And so I just feel like that scenario, that situation of everyone else getting off the boat.

There's a lot we can do with that. There's a lot that's going to, yeah. Ooh. So we're all aware that we can't get off, and we could just stay on the boat and enjoy the activities with no people there, which is what we will do in real life. But in hypothetical freaks land, I'm going to sit at the exit, watch everyone get off, and then stay there.

And the employees are going to be picking up and closing the gate and looking at me, and I'm just

going to just sit and whimper. I'm not going to cry, I'm going to whimper. Everyone's pulling away in their little tender boats.

(Shane whimpering) And then when they get back on, ask every single person what they did.

What was it like? And an employee eventually is going to come over and be like, hey, are you okay?

What are you doing? And I'm going to say my dream was to see Mexico.

My one dream. That would get us something.

You might be given a free cupcake at that point. That's really my goal in all of this. Yeah.

Make the employees feel so bad that they give me cupcakes. Well, I feel much better.

Yeah, I do too. I'm hoping I don't get seasick. Oh, we'll see. Lord, if she does, we're going to have actual Junkyard Mayhem to report next time.

I don't do well when I'm nauseous. We'll see. But I'm excited. All right, everyone. That was Junkyard Mayhem, episode 11.

If you enjoyed this podcast, please leave a review on whatever platform you are using.

You're doing a great job taking us out. Like us, star us, review us.

And? I'm getting bored. This is where we wrap it up nice and quick. Come on, Shane, give us a little tagline.

It is a junkyard out there, everyone. Put your life vest on because the ocean is in motion.

That doesn't bode well for me. The ocean is filled with garbage, which is sad but true.

Let's pick up the litter. Get out into that ocean. Clean it up.

Bring it to your nearest junkyard. Okay. Goodbye.

OMG @Peraweila, you deserve a medal. Seriously. I do not know how you did it. Thank you for taking one for the team!

So they're going on a cruise so that Hannah can show us her T & A in her thong bathing suit. And then they will both complain about how inaccesable the boat is. And how people were staring at them and not understanding that they were a couple. Blah, blah, blah.

Quote from transcript: "We have one stop on our cruise, and he can't get off. It's not accessible." So why are you going on the f*cking cruise?

No wonder this thread is all but dead.

And anyone else feel uncomfortable about Hannah's description of them both "walking" through the mall? And the usual complaints of employees thinking he's a disabled little boy at Build A Bear? I call bullsh*t on that. It's obvious he's not physically a child. They are playing a sick game and it's boring.

There's so much that Shane could have done for the disabled community.

 

[VirtualSkeptic]

Their channel is at a low point, despite what the sub count and views say. Their new vids get a few hundred comments now. Years ago they'd have 1000s of comments within a few hours. When even this thread is dead, you know everyone's bored of their same old same old crap content.

 

[chickhicks86]

Hello! I didn't realise there was a thread for these two! It always seems like such a weird dynamic between them, so false. Off to read some of the older threads....

 

[DoubleOld]

Their channel is at a low point, despite what the sub count and views say. Their new vids get a few hundred comments now. Years ago they'd have 1000s of comments within a few hours. When even this thread is dead, you know everyone's bored of their same old same old crap content.

Yay, @VirtualSkeptic, you're back! I was wondering where you were.

I know, can you believe how stagnant this thread has become? Even when we didn't all agree, there was still lively discussion and interest. Now not only is their channel boring, I think it's actually harmful. And I believe Hannah is mentally ill. There's something she's getting out of this that doesn't sit right with me.

Regarding the sub count: I think it reflects when S&G were in their heyday. It's just that people haven't 'unsubbed'. And views can be bought and comments written by S&G or Liz or a company they've hired. I think they've tanked.

ETA: Even Meredith is no longer making appearances. Or Hannah's brother who owns the coffee shop.

 

[fredflintstone]

OMG. I just saw the title on one of their latest videos, "Should We Homeschool Our Kids?"

How about HAVING a kid before thinking about how you're going to educate your hypothetical child? SMH. I'll be really surprised if they ever have a child, regardless of the "how." Shane's not about to compete w/ a baby for his "mommy/nurse/Hannah" time.

I've been looking for the 2021 Form 990s for the LAMN 501(c)(3) which, judging by previous years, should have been posted months ago. I just checked again and noticed this message on their non-profit's Guidestar listing:

"This organization has not appeared on the IRS Business Master File in a number of months. It may have merged with another organization or ceased operations."

Hmmm... time for some deeper diving now.

ETA: I looked up data on several well-known 501(c)(3)s and didn't find any for which 2021 Form 990s are available yet, so it's probably just a delay in Guidestar posting things. Seems for nearly 3 years now practically every office, organization, et al. have conveniently blamed "COVID" for not doing their jobs in a timely manner.

 

[fredflintstone]

ETA2: The IRS blames the lack of availability of Form 990s for 2021 on a "delay." So there you have it.

Data Updates Delayed
Expect delays in data updates for the Tax Exempt Organization Search tool. We are still processing paper-filed 990 series received 2021 and later.

 

[Happy-go-lucky-_-]

OMG. I just saw the title on one of their latest videos, "Should We Homeschool Our Kids?"

How about HAVING a kid before thinking about how you're going to educate your hypothetical child? SMH. I'll be really surprised if they ever have a child, regardless of the "how." Shane's not about to compete w/ a baby for his "mommy/nurse/Hannah" time.

I've been looking for the 2021 Form 990s for the LAMN 501(c)(3) which, judging by previous years, should have been posted months ago. I just checked again and noticed this message on their non-profit's Guidestar listing:

"This organization has not appeared on the IRS Business Master File in a number of months. It may have merged with another organization or ceased operations."

Hmmm... time for some deeper diving now.

ETA: I looked up data on several well-known 501(c)(3)s and didn't find any for which 2021 Form 990s are available yet, so it's probably just a delay in Guidestar posting things. Seems for nearly 3 years now practically every office, organization, et al. have conveniently blamed "COVID" for not doing their jobs in a timely manner.

Homeschooling is not easy at all when circumstances are ideal, how could you think of homeschooling when she is his primary caregiver? Such bullshit.

 

[jolleee]

Homeschooling is not easy at all when circumstances are ideal, how could you think of homeschooling when she is his primary caregiver? Such bullshit.

Homeschooling is about one of the hardest things a person can do providing everything that a community does Jesus Christ

 

[bluecow]

Home schooling is hard. We did a little bit when my son was excluded from school, (he has autism and they couldn't cope with him). They then found him a place 2 day a week. Eventually we got him a place at a sen school.

 

[DoubleOld]

The homeschooling issue is all hypothetical because there are no children and there never will be. It's just another topic for them to yap on about as Hannah was homeschooled by Liz.

In fact, be prepared for them to have Liz on as a guest to give her "expert" opinion.

 

[SmallWonder]

The homeschooling issue is all hypothetical because there are no children and there never will be. It's just another topic for them to yap on about as Hannah was homeschooled by Liz.

In fact, be prepared for them to have Liz on as a guest to give her "expert" opinion.

These charlatan couples' vloggers will talk about hypothetical kids until they're too old to have them- or until the sperm shooter insemination device collab drops them. It's just a never-ending combo of tease with clickbait titles, fake laughter, call people ableist, deliver stupid jokes, plug in a sponsored ad and wear leggings as pants with a Forever 21 camisole- rinse and repeat video after video. They're far too self absorbed and immature to have a baby right now or possibly ever.

 

[fredflintstone]

I noticed S&G went on a Disney cruise w/ Cole & Charisma. Huh. Good old Hannah, making sure someone behind her and Shane boarding the ship got a protracted butt shot of her dressed in brown Spandex things (leggings?) which appeared to have become impacted in her ass, left some breadcrumbs leading to their "accessible stateroom" on the "Disney Wonder" cruise ship.

Disney Wonder Cabin 7138 Video and/or Picture

Now, since I really don't want to watch a 26-minute video of these jokers, perhaps someone else can figure out how long a cruise it was, some idea of the price (these Disney cruises have $$$$ out of $$$$$ which, similar to restaurants, means pretty darned expensive), and perhaps their itenerary. Looks like the ship launched from San Diego, and there's a clickbaity title on their video alluding to them being "ditched in Cabo." Shane noted they passed 8 watering holes on the way to their cabin where Shane could get adult beverages.

 

[DoubleOld]

I noticed S&G went on a Disney cruise w/ Cole & Charisma. Huh. Good old Hannah, making sure someone behind her and Shane boarding the ship got a protracted butt shot of her dressed in brown Spandex things (leggings?) which appeared to have become impacted in her ass, left some breadcrumbs leading to their "accessible stateroom" on the "Disney Wonder" cruise ship.

Disney Wonder Cabin 7138 Video and/or Picture

Now, since I really don't want to watch a 26-minute video of these jokers, perhaps someone else can figure out how long a cruise it was, some idea of the price (these Disney cruises have $$$$ out of $$$$$ which, similar to restaurants, means pretty darned expensive), and perhaps their itenerary. Looks like the ship launched from San Diego, and there's a clickbaity title on their video alluding to them being "ditched in Cabo." Shane noted they passed 8 watering holes on the way to their cabin where Shane could get adult beverages.

Wait......hold up......Thev're now gone on vacation with Cole and Charisma? The same couple they couldn't get away from fast enough before?

Their viewership must really be tanking.

 

[fredflintstone]

Wait......hold up......Thev're now gone on vacation with Cole and Charisma? The same couple they couldn't get away from fast enough before?

Their viewership must really be tanking.

C&C have uploaded their video from that trip. Haven't watched it yet. In the short clip of S&G's I saw they were all smiley-smiley w/ each other. Cole can do a lot more than Shane though, and I get the impression Shane, while putting on his happy face, still seems jealous of Cole. That's just speculation on my part, based partly from previous videos of the 4 of them together. I don't get a vibe one way or the other from the "girls," but Shane does that "nervous laugh" thing & just seems to be trying too hard to seem happy to be with C&C. Maybe it's just b/c Shane is reminded he's not "just a normal guy who happens to use a wheelchair," the very "thing" that Cole is.



Hannah & Charisma deboarded for some time in Cabo, both of them leaving the guys behind, supposedly b/c Cabo isn't fully accessible to wheelchairs. They left Cole to be Shane's "caregiver" which may have furthered Shane's frustration.

The cruises on the "Disney Wonder" offer several pkgs. For the ones out of San Diego, it looks like you can take a 2, 3, 4, maybe 5-day cruise that includes Cabo.

ETA: To each his own, but those "serial killer" eyeglass frames Shane selected just aren't flattering to his face. They're the wrong shape, and they age him by 20 or more years. Previously he had smaller, rectangular dark (brown or black) frames that were much more flattering to the shape of his face. Again, JMO.

 

[fredflintstone]

C&C and S&G stayed in adjacent "Deluxe Oceanview Accessible Stateroom with Verandah" in the aft of the ship (rooms in red circle on Deck 7, far aft). I attached the deck plan, but if it's too small, the full-size drawing is here.

Disney Wonder deck 7 plan | CruiseMapper

Disney Wonder deck 7 plan (Cabins) layout - review of all facilities, activities, amenities, deck layouts

www.cruisemapper.com

It sounded like a rough ride the 1st night at least, apparently made worse by riding on the tail end. Cabo was the only place besides San Diego they mentioned. I'm guessing the reason the guys didn't get off the ship to go to Cabo was the water nearby is too shallow to enable a big cruise ship to dock, so they shuttle cruise passengers in tender boats to the town & back, and those boats don't look very big. Not sure if the accessibility problem was just that or if there would have been problems navigating Cabo in a wheelchair, too. I watched C&C's video, and no one seemed to be complaining about "ablelism." The "boys" seemed perfectly content to sit outside & drink beer while the "girls" saw some of Cabo. Shane kept telling Cole he needed to pee & that Cole might have to help him. Did we really need to know that? One of them even said drinking all that beer was probably not the smartest thing to do. Cole didn't seem too enthused at the prospect. I think Shane just likes talking about his "giant snake."

(Minor observation: I always thought the spelling "veranda" was the proper term. I understand it is in the U.S. but most folks in the U.K. still use the "verandah" spelling.)

Sounded like this trip might have been one of the 4-night pkgs. Costs vary depending on the decks and specific cabins. Those staterooms with verandahs look like they'd be towards the upper end costwise. Here's one family's description of their experiences on the same ship, maybe on the same cruise (last year, not w/ C&C and S&G). I still haven't watched but a minute or two of S&G's video. Perhaps someone can shed more light on this thing. They really are scraping the barrel for entertainment these days. I've never wanted to go on a cruise, but more power to those who do. I just think if I were going to drop that much money, I'd want to do more than travel for 2 days to get to one destination where you disembark for 4 or 5 hours, especially when your spouse can't join you, then reboard the ship & head back to port.

So are S&G in L.A. now? I thought someone said they were going to L.A. for 3 whole months. San Diego isn't too far away from L.A. (about 120 miles or 2-3 hours, depending on traffic), and C&C apparently moved to L.A. (I don't follow them much. I just know from what I've seen of them, they're not as insufferable as S&G.)

Disney Wonder Trip Report: Cabo San Lucas | TouringPlans.com Blog

My family just got back from our first Disney cruise in three years! We sailed on the Disney Wonder on a 4-night cruise

touringplans.com

 

[DoubleOld]

C&C and S&G stayed in adjacent "Deluxe Oceanview Accessible Stateroom with Verandah" in the aft of the ship (rooms in red circle on Deck 7, far aft). I attached the deck plan, but if it's too small, the full-size drawing is here.

Disney Wonder deck 7 plan | CruiseMapper

Disney Wonder deck 7 plan (Cabins) layout - review of all facilities, activities, amenities, deck layouts

www.cruisemapper.com

It sounded like a rough ride the 1st night at least, apparently made worse by riding on the tail end. Cabo was the only place besides San Diego they mentioned. I'm guessing the reason the guys didn't get off the ship to go to Cabo was the water nearby is too shallow to enable a big cruise ship to dock, so they shuttle cruise passengers in tender boats to the town & back, and those boats don't look very big. Not sure if the accessibility problem was just that or if there would have been problems navigating Cabo in a wheelchair, too. I watched C&C's video, and no one seemed to be complaining about "ablelism." The "boys" seemed perfectly content to sit outside & drink beer while the "girls" saw some of Cabo. Shane kept telling Cole he needed to pee & that Cole might have to help him. Did we really need to know that? One of them even said drinking all that beer was probably not the smartest thing to do. Cole didn't seem too enthused at the prospect. I think Shane just likes talking about his "giant snake."

(Minor observation: I always thought the spelling "veranda" was the proper term. I understand it is in the U.S. but most folks in the U.K. still use the "verandah" spelling.)

Sounded like this trip might have been one of the 4-night pkgs. Costs vary depending on the decks and specific cabins. Those staterooms with verandahs look like they'd be towards the upper end costwise. Here's one family's description of their experiences on the same ship, maybe on the same cruise (last year, not w/ C&C and S&G). I still haven't watched but a minute or two of S&G's video. Perhaps someone can shed more light on this thing. They really are scraping the barrel for entertainment these days. I've never wanted to go on a cruise, but more power to those who do. I just think if I were going to drop that much money, I'd want to do more than travel for 2 days to get to one destination where you disembark for 4 or 5 hours, especially when your spouse can't join you, then reboard the ship & head back to port.

So are S&G in L.A. now? I thought someone said they were going to L.A. for 3 whole months. San Diego isn't too far away from L.A. (about 120 miles or 2-3 hours, depending on traffic), and C&C apparently moved to L.A. (I don't follow them much. I just know from what I've seen of them, they're not as insufferable as S&G.)

Disney Wonder Trip Report: Cabo San Lucas | TouringPlans.com Blog

My family just got back from our first Disney cruise in three years! We sailed on the Disney Wonder on a 4-night cruise

touringplans.com

Thanks for the recap @fredflintstone. Nicely done.

I think C&C might not appear as insufferable as S&G is because there is less denial and gaslighting with them. Haven't watched either couple in awhile, though.

I bet you could have cut the tension with a knife during that trip with those 2 couples. I'm not buying that Cole and Shane now have this buddy-buddy male bonding experience. Or that Hannah and Charisma are suddenly besties, either.

Ummm......where's Liz? I also am not buying into that she's not there with them. No way could Hanna take care of Shane alone.

Exhausting to try to sort out their lies.

 

[Cattycat79]

Oh, Liz is definitely lurking around and most likely changed Shane's nappies while Hannah went off with Charisma. 3 days ago, she posted a pic of herself in the Kelly Clarkson audience, in L.A.
At this point, I have no words for anyone who still believes Hannah takes care of him full time with the ease, stamina, and cheerfulness she displays in their contrived videos. Mama Aylward lives with them, goes on *every single trip* with them, and lived a very short distance from them before they all moved into the McMansion. It's a no brainer that she's the one who wipes his ass.