So the diaper genie is just decor? LolPodcast
35:54 they talk about wearing a diaper.
Shane: Honestly I would not be above wearing a diaper. Like
Hannah: Yeah
Shane: I if it needs to happen it needs to happen.
Hannah: Yeah on the next international flight we might explore that. I don't know we have no plans to fly that long luckily but we'll see.
Shane: *fake laughs We'll see.
On airplane bathrooms not being accessible: I have seen all types of people go into the bathroom with others without problems. No one is completely comfortable in an airplane bathroom and there are workarounds for unique difficulties so their excuses they gave are bull. Hannah is likely embarrassed to be carrying Shane in front of dozens of people.
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So the diaper genie is just decor? Lol
I would think they are going by the assumption that most their fans didn't see the genie so they pretend diapers will be used for the first time during a flight. We all here saw the diaper shape on Shane and diaper box in the room.
For the newest members of this thread, yes, Shane is not "above wearing a diaper" because he has many times before, if not always. We discussed his weird squarish padded butt before and someone confirmed that is indeed a diaper/colostomy bag combination, as they have a relative who wears them.
The pics where he is being placed on the toilet, that's him right on the surface of the seat. That is a ton of padding. And they're pretending he's actually going to use the toilet...smdh. All theatre, friends.
The pics where he is being placed on the toilet, that's him right on the surface of the seat. That is a ton of padding. And they're pretending he's actually going to use the toilet...smdh. All theatre, friends.
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Saying hello as a bit of a lurker. These 2 have been popping up in my Facebook vids, luckily it seems to now of stopped. Always thought there was something weird about the relationship, just could never pin point it.
I find it odd that she sort him out. I can understand how hard it is when a partner gets more disabled over time that the relationship will either die or stay together in a different form. I know this as my disability has got worse over the years we have been married, gone from a health late 20s to now needing my wheelchair more of the time. As such our relationship has changed and we are more best friends with love then jumping on one another lol. We sleep in separate beds so I can get into my chair.
Yet still i don't have my husband take me to the loo. He will sit in my mums bathroom while I shower and dry my feet for me, but everything else about personol hygine i do myself. (I can only shower at my mums as she lives in a bungalow and I can't do stairs. We are waiting for the local council to build a wet room on the back od ny downstairs bedroom (was the dining room)
I find it odd that she sort him out. I can understand how hard it is when a partner gets more disabled over time that the relationship will either die or stay together in a different form. I know this as my disability has got worse over the years we have been married, gone from a health late 20s to now needing my wheelchair more of the time. As such our relationship has changed and we are more best friends with love then jumping on one another lol. We sleep in separate beds so I can get into my chair.
Yet still i don't have my husband take me to the loo. He will sit in my mums bathroom while I shower and dry my feet for me, but everything else about personol hygine i do myself. (I can only shower at my mums as she lives in a bungalow and I can't do stairs. We are waiting for the local council to build a wet room on the back od ny downstairs bedroom (was the dining room)
I guess that’s always been the mind boggling part of the channels content - a degenerative disease combined with a youthful energetic love affair … did anyone see the fault in our stars?
I actually think Hannah gets off on publicly carrying Shane around. She does it repeatedly on their channel. Anyone remember when she used a picture of her carrying Shane onto the airplane as the click bait image? Her face was lit up like a Christmas tree and the caption read something like: "Move out of the way, Pilots." @SmallWonder - you seem to have a special gift for finding the long lost videos I'm talking about; perhaps you could find this one?
This game that Shane is playing about wearing or not wearing diapers has been going on for years. Definitely pandering to their fetish fan base.
I actually think Hannah gets off on publicly carrying Shane around. She does it repeatedly on their channel. Anyone remember when she used a picture of her carrying Shane onto the airplane as the click bait image? Her face was lit up like a Christmas tree and the caption read something like: "Move out of the way, Pilots." @SmallWonder - you seem to have a special gift for finding the long lost videos I'm talking about; perhaps you could find this one?
This game that Shane is playing about wearing or not wearing diapers has been going on for years. Definitely pandering to their fetish fan base.
I like these assignments that use my special obscure YouTube video finding gift- thank you Double Old
!! Here's the link to the video- she carries him onto the flight at around 10:01 into the video and she is indeed smiling a crazed Tom Cruise couch jumping smile. You're correct- the thumbnail does say "Out of Our Way, Pilots". I do think that she gets off on the attention of carrying him onto the plane and seeing people marvel at her "kindness"- she's probably expecting a slow movie style clap that builds throughout the plane with a hardened old man in coach class crying a single tear and putting his baseball cap to his chest while the entire plane cheers and weeps with admiration for her. Remember, it's not a good deed to her unless it's posted to YouTube, layered with upbeat background music and monetized crappy raycon headphone ads spliced in-between. Nothing tops that double yoga mat unfurling beach makeshift wheelchair ramp scene that they posted to Instagram, YouTube and tik tok- she probably gets hot and bothered just thinking about the televised martyrdom! 
What the heck is with one of their recent videos titled "I almost broke Shane's tailbone for this". It's a bunch of poses of Hannah sitting on the steps by the pool or her trying to balance herself on his chair. It's very weird.
Can you provide link, please? For some reason I can't access it.
I think that this is the link to the video- it's part of a Tik Tok challenge trend where people do different poses timed to the beat of the 1999 techno/pop song "Better off Alone".
emoji for providing the link @SmallWonder; obviously not for the Tik Tok garbage the two of them put out. (But you already knew that )I don't understand how they are able to afford these vacations anymore. They may have a high number of subscribers but the number of people who actually watch their videos is more than 75% less than in their early years. And their comment section seems to be written, or ghost written, by the same person only under different accounts. "You two are so beautiful." "What a love story." "Hannah, I can easily see why you chose Shane." Blah, blah, blah, bullshit, blah, blah, blah.....
The photograph on their Instagram of how emaciated Shane has become made my heart sink. Not only because he looks so very medically fragile but because showing him naked has to be another sick Patreon request. Why else would they do that? What is the point? Granted, it wasn't as bad as the naked on the toilet one but still.
Do they realize how boring they have become? It's the same old, same old 24/7. Why Shane is such a catch. Pregnancy scare. Shane is a sex machine. Shane is just like any other guy in a wheelchair. Oh here's another naked picture of Shane and T & A shots of Hannah. End. Nothing else. Now start the cycle all over again.
Who is funding them and why? And do I really want to go there? Actually, no.
LOL at your description of that scene on the plane, and I'm in awe at your Google-fu skillz! Lest anyone forget, I'm checking for the latest Form 990s (2021) for Shane's 501(c)(3), but so far they're not up. I promise I'll provide an update if/when those are released. I wonder if they're going to stay in that L.A. airBnB this year. I just happened to luck out filtering out places that didn't have the amenities they needed for Shane, reducing the list to just one out of hundreds. AFAIK no one showed up at their door, either there or at any place they lived in MN, but if you put yourself out there the way they do, then don't complain when someone using strictly the information THEY share publicly deduces where they're living ATM. I've never posted this very public information w/o a disclaimer advising people to not show up at their doorstep expecting a personal meeting. They are still people & don't deserve to be in potential fear of physical harm or "stalking."
I like these assignments that use my special obscure YouTube video finding gift- thank you Double Old
Your colorful description sounds like the script from some cheesy Lifetime movie! I remember that video and the one where a "toddler drinks alcohol on a plane" which was yet another clickbaity title which, IIRC, wasn't what the video was about. I agree w/ y'all about Hannah LERVING the attention she gets in public & the self-satisfaction she gets from carrying Shane around at home like a sack of potatoes, assuming of course that she does that FT at home. For someone who was sooooo self-conscious & shy, traumatized by the unwanted attention she got from men after she "developed early," she certainly has come a long way from that to exposing her T&A on the www at every opportunity. If anyone in that relationship has a reason to be uncomfortable I would think it would be Shane, but w/ his small stature a lot of people probably assume he's a young child, aka the "boi" as he describes himself.
I'm still not 100% convinced they don't have outside help, but if they do I would hope a licensed caregiver would raise concerns if Shane is losing that much weight. It's not like he ever had any weight to spare. What I don't get is why neither Shane nor Hannah, and maybe even either of their parents or brothers (Shane has Andrew, and Hannah has two, one of whom is an M.D.) seem to be concerned about his health. Now, Shane is an adult who is capable of making his own decisions WRT his health & care, but WHY would he be okay w/ losing that much weight? The new drugs at least halt the progression of his condition, so unless something new comes down the pike, he probably won't ever get a lot better, but it just makes sense to me that he would want to retain what gains he does make.
ETA: My new avatar still startles me. All I can see is a frog pinned to a board in biology lab. And then I remember that formaldehyde-soaked amphibian is probably more hygienic than that old strap. I doubt the frog smells any worse.
Blech.
It just took me so long to work out what your avatar isETA: My new avatar still startles me. All I can see is a frog pinned to a board in biology lab. And then I remember that formaldehyde-soaked amphibian is probably more hygienic than that old strap. I doubt the frog smells any worse.
This video came up in my Facebook videos. Hope I've put it on right. Don't knownif it's an old one or not, talking about baby names, a friends death and how a fan freaked out when she saw them.
Heh. I was thinking of this clip from Carol Burnett in the "Went With the Wind" skit. "Thank you. I saw it in the window and just couldn't resist it."It just took me so long to work out what your avatar is
I saw it in one of S&G's videos and just couldn't resist it!
Actually, @fredflintstone, at first glance your avatar reminded me of Reek in the Game of Thrones when he was being tortured!LOL at your description of that scene on the plane, and I'm in awe at your Google-fu skillz! Lest anyone forget, I'm checking for the latest Form 990s (2021) for Shane's 501(c)(3), but so far they're not up. I promise I'll provide an update if/when those are released. I wonder if they're going to stay in that L.A. airBnB this year. I just happened to luck out filtering out places that didn't have the amenities they needed for Shane, reducing the list to just one out of hundreds. AFAIK no one showed up at their door, either there or at any place they lived in MN, but if you put yourself out there the way they do, then don't complain when someone using strictly the information THEY share publicly deduces where they're living ATM. I've never posted this very public information w/o a disclaimer advising people to not show up at their doorstep expecting a personal meeting. They are still people & don't deserve to be in potential fear of physical harm or "stalking."
Your colorful description sounds like the script from some cheesy Lifetime movie! I remember that video and the one where a "toddler drinks alcohol on a plane" which was yet another clickbaity title which, IIRC, wasn't what the video was about. I agree w/ y'all about Hannah LERVING the attention she gets in public & the self-satisfaction she gets from carrying Shane around at home like a sack of potatoes, assuming of course that she does that FT at home. For someone who was sooooo self-conscious & shy, traumatized by the unwanted attention she got from men after she "developed early," she certainly has come a long way from that to exposing her T&A on the www at every opportunity. If anyone in that relationship has a reason to be uncomfortable I would think it would be Shane, but w/ his small stature a lot of people probably assume he's a young child, aka the "boi" as he describes himself.
I'm still not 100% convinced they don't have outside help, but if they do I would hope a licensed caregiver would raise concerns if Shane is losing that much weight. It's not like he ever had any weight to spare. What I don't get is why neither Shane nor Hannah, and maybe even either of their parents or brothers (Shane has Andrew, and Hannah has two, one of whom is an M.D.) seem to be concerned about his health. Now, Shane is an adult who is capable of making his own decisions WRT his health & care, but WHY would he be okay w/ losing that much weight? The new drugs at least halt the progression of his condition, so unless something new comes down the pike, he probably won't ever get a lot better, but it just makes sense to me that he would want to retain what gains he does make.
ETA: My new avatar still startles me. All I can see is a frog pinned to a board in biology lab. And then I remember that formaldehyde-soaked amphibian is probably more hygienic than that old strap. I doubt the frog smells any worse.
Anyway, I am thinking of Shane's mother and what she must be feeling about all of this. We don't know what has gone on behind the scenes and if she has expressed concerns. We don't know if Hannah's brother has tried to intervene, either. But even if they did S&G would never mention it on the channel because that would interfere with their 'our life is rainbows and roses/singing bluebirds every day at our window' narrative.
Let's just say that Shane's doctors have suggested re-introducing the NG tube every night to maintain Shane's weight. Now let's just say that Shane has refused this. Since he is an adult capable of making his own decisions, he has a right to do this. It's an extraordinarily uncomfortable procedure that isn't all that easy to do, leaves him nauseous and irritates his nasal passages and throat. It's not an easy, quick or comfortable fix. I feel for him; I really do.
Even worse, suppose he has lost the strength in his throat muscles to help the NG successfully go down. This is especially serious because the surgeons have ruled out a G-tube. (Because of Shane's scoliosis, he is basically sitting on his stomach when he is in his wheelchair so that surgery is out.) But instead of honestly discussing all of this and making it an educational moment, he and Hannah choose to talk about baby names and make superficial jokes. Interspersed with T&A shots of Hannah and naked moments of Shane.
Sorry to write such a depressing entry but I feel that there is a lot of gaslighting going on by them and I just can't go along with it. If Shane wants to play out his fantasy of being just another guy in a wheelchair with a hot wife, that's his right. But don't present the channel as a disability awareness site.
OMG, @fredflintstone, I remember seeing that sketch on the Carol Burnett show when it originally aired!!! Absolutely one of the funniest scenes ever on tv. Iconic. Thanks for posting.
And for you @SmallWonder: My local drugstore has all Revlon products at clearance prices. Picked up 3 lipsticks at $3.00 each. RUN!!!!!
OK, now what to talk about? It seems this thread has come to a dead halt. Any of my tattler friends have theories about why?
I do hope it's not because folks who don't know us think we are making fun of Shane because he may have to wear adult diapers. The only issue is the deception of how many special needs Shane has because of his disease. It's harmful to other people with disabilities who wonder why they may need so much more care than Shane does and then feel badly about themselves because of it.
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Thank you for the heads up about Revlon, Double Old! I purchased 3 Revlon lipsticks on sale last week and I'm going to stock up on their eyeliners too- such a shame that they're going bankrupt as they make wonderful lipsticks, makeup and hairdryers. I also noticed that this forum is less active these days- maybe its because of the hustle and bustle of the New Year and because S and G aren't putting out a lot of content for viewers to critique. I think S and G's channel is pretty harmful- it completely glosses over the ups/downs of caretaking and the actual needs of someone with SMA and makes some people think that they too can be whisked away by a Hannah type at their beck and call 24/7. I for one am completely underwhelmed by her looks/personality and feel the same way about Shane. Their only claim to fame is a tall busty blonde with short/small wheelchair man- they do not have stand-alone looks or personalities and I am so disappointed that they've garnered so much wealth/internet fame over their one trick pony sunshine/rainbows couples act. And Fred Flintstone- from now on I'm going to call my internet searching skills "Google-fu skills!" I love it!!OMG, @fredflintstone, I remember seeing that sketch on the Carol Burnett show when it originally aired!!! Absolutely one of the funniest scenes ever on tv. Iconic. Thanks for posting.
And for you @SmallWonder: My local drugstore has all Revlon products at clearance prices. Picked up 3 lipsticks at $3.00 each. RUN!!!!!
OK, now what to talk about? It seems this thread has come to a dead halt. Any of my tattler friends have theories about why?
I do hope it's not because folks who don't know us think we are making fun of Shane because he may have to wear adult diapers. The only issue is the deception of how many special needs Shane has because of his disease. It's harmful to other people with disabilities who wonder why they may need so much more care than Shane does and then feel badly about themselves because of it.
It does resemble someone or something on a torture rack! Kind of like sitting through a S&G "podcast/vlog/junkyard" thing. No way I'm going to spend 45 minutes listening the this pair bloviate. Someone who isn't I is gonna have to take one for the team this time! TIA.Actually, @fredflintstone, at first glance your avatar reminded me of Reek in the Game of Thrones when he was being tortured!
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They are actually doing captions again. From Can We Get Though This Without Fighting, January 18, 2023.
Shane: Hannah, I have a complaint.
Hannah: What's your complaint, Shane?
Shane: In our last episode of Junkyard Mayhem, we posed a question to the audience. Who would you prefer bring us in and out of each segment? Me or you?
Hannah: Okay.
Shane: And an overwhelming number of people said you.
Hannah:I don't think that's true.
Shane: I'm the one that reads the comments.
Hannah: I feel like you're lying. Is that true?
Shane: Why don't you go ahead and bring us in today's episode? Give everyone what they want apparently. I'll just go sit outside, let me know when the podcast is over.
Hannah: I think you are better at bringing us into the podcast, and I think you are especially better at bringing us out. I do enjoy your antics.
Shane: The people have spoken. (music)
Hannah: Well, welcome to Junkyard Mayhem, episode 11. We are in LA.
Shane: (singing) We're in Los Angeles.
Hannah: So if you're watching this and not just listening, you can see that we are not in our home podcast studio.
Shane: This is our LA studio. No big deal. This LA studio doesn't have window blinds. So you might see some very aggressive lighting as we progress through our episodes.
Hannah: Yeah. Might want to switch to audio only for the next couple episodes. Put it on black and white. (both laugh)
Shane: All right. Well, today we have a very fun episode for you. We have a segment for you that will probably end in our divorce.
I'm excited about it.
We are going to be doing a debate.
Yep.
We've picked out three divisive questions. Hannah is a master debater, which is a word that you have to say very carefully.
Okay, Shane.
And I am not. And we're going to put those two skill levels to the test.
Yes, one of us did debate in high school.
It was not me. Before we get into that segment, because that's going to be a fight. It's going to be a negative experience for you and us. So before we do that, we have a fun, exciting, or not exciting, silly... tVery Junkyard Mayhemy sory from very early on in our relationship when Hannah and I were the biggest cheese balls that two people can be.
This is going to make us feel loving toward each other so that we can hopefully survive the next segment.
Yeah, remember the good in our relationship?
Yeah. So Shane, when was this? This was like 2016.
Time is an enigma.
I think you say that every time I bring up a date.
Time is a vague, murky, unknowable.
It's not actually. This was in the summer of 2016. I think it was in August since I actually have a specific memory...
Do you keep notes about these things?
About events like this and I was visiting Shane in Pennsylvania.
This is when we were long distance.
Yeah. And this was like the third visit. This was in August 2016. This was my third visit to Pennsylvania. And I had this idea that like when you had a boyfriend, maybe you would go to build a bear and get like a couple's stuffed animal.
Wait, you had this idea like this was a part of you?
Yeah.
Before you met me, this was a thing?
Like this was just like a thing that I guess I just thought maybe this was something that you might do.
And Hannah was dropping these hints throughout the early months of our relationship. Like wouldn't it be cute if we might have made like a couple's bear?
Like what?
I had never stepped wheel into a build a bear in my life because I was a 25 year old human being at the time, and...
In my defense, you were 23. I was 20. But I was 20. Isn't that a little bit sad?
I wasn't like 14. I was 20.
But this is also the time in our relationship when we were beginning to realize that okay, this is like real.
Yeah.
Like this is love, love. And all of these goodbyes because we were long distance and Hannah would visit or I would visit. And then we'd have to say goodbye for a month or two months or three months.
Yeah.
And they were really getting hard and it was miserable whenever we weren't in person together. So on this visit, we were like, you know what, maybe that bear would be a cute thing for Hannah to have.
Yeah.
To remember me when we're not together.
Exactly. I had one of your sweatshirts that miraculously fit me. It was a small sweatshirt, but it fit me. And I wanted something else. So I wanted a build a bear. And finally on this third visit, we decided to go to build a bear.
It was a mistake. I'm going to just say that right up front.
I still have the build a bear. It wasn't a mistake, but it was not the experience that I thought it might be.
It wasn't a dreamy romantic... Boyfriend takes girlfriend into build a bear and makes her a bear. No.
So we go to the mall. I'm really, really excited. We're walking through. I remember we stopped and got like ice tea. At a little ice tea stand. I was excited about that.
We had like cute outfits on. We were going to like do this build a bear. Then like go to dinner. I know. Walking through the mall, Hannah's arm is draped around my shoulders. We're stopping every like four feet to kiss. It's disgusting.
We're really excited. So we go to build a bear.
We saunter into build a bear.
And I don't know if I was mistaken and couples don't normally go to build a bear. Maybe I was just wrong. I honestly have no idea.
Or... was it my wheelchair?
Or was it the fact that the build a bear employee who happened to be working that day was confused about the nature of our relationship?
To give you a sense of what Hannah means by that. When we entered build a bear, I saw three or four different employees gasp, rush over and say things like, oh my goodness, he's here for a bear isn't he? This is his trip. You know they saw my wheelchair and instantly were like, oh boy, this is it. This is the moment we've been waiting for. We are going to make a little disabled boy's dreams come true.
This might be his make-a-wish. We don't know. This could be it.
And what transpired was like a version of hypothetical freaks. The game we play where we make up hypothetical ridiculous situations but played out in real life.
It's like the employees were playing hypothetical freaks in person.
So in build a bear you get paired up with an employee who kind of walks you through the whole ordeal.
Yeah.
It is an ordeal. And she comes over and the first thing she does is kind of look at Hannah and determine that Hannah is my mother, my caregiver, my caretaker, my attendant. And says to Hannah something like, all right, what are we going to be making for him today? Instantly we're like, oh no, no, no, we're making a bear together. And she's like, oh, so cute. Are you guys friends? Yeah. You know, brother and sister, what are you? We were like, no.
I think she actually said are you guys brother and sister.
She asked something, yeah, I'm trying to remember. We were like, no, no, no, this is my girlfriend. This is my boyfriend.
Yeah.
Her jaw hit the floor. This experience just became a holy experience.
But I feel like from that point on she was a little bit standoffish. I don't know if she thought she was being pranked. Like in my memory she was not really that like involved after that. Do you remember that? I feel like she was just kind of like, oh, okay.
She was very unsettled.
Unsettled.
She was like, walking on eggshells.
Yeah.
But we had to like pick out the bear we wanted. Yeah. And Hannah and I's...Hannah and my, Hannah and I.
Yeah, my. Our behavior, you know, in regards to like making this bear was kind of tongue in cheek.
Yeah. Like we made fun of every bear option that was available.
Or at least you did. Oh, I did. Hannah would hold up an alligator and be like, should I do this?
And I would make a joke. And what I realized was that this woman probably didn't understand that we were just kidding around with each other and it instead looked like I, as the boyfriend was like, we're going to make you a bear and then ridiculed every decision that Hannah made about this bear.
Oh no, you're right. Do you remember when I put my voice inside the bear? So I didn't want any add ons because they're very expensive.
I wanted a naked bear. That's the other thing. Hannah kept denying all the cute stuff that you could ask.
So she was like, just give me a plain bear. Please. And the woman was like, are you guys having fun? Yeah. I guess people normally... I did not want to spend money on an outfit.
So I was like, I want the bear and I want nothing else, like nothing. And Shane insisted at one point on putting his voice inside the bear, which I was very much against because I was like, well, then it might accidentally go off while I'm like snuggling the bear and then it's going to terrify me.
But Shane was like, no, no, no, this is the only special part. Like this is my choice. We're like fighting in front of this woman. I'm like, I don't want it.
And he's like, well, you're going to have it. And so, to do this, I wanted to record a little voice memo that Hannah wouldn't know what it said until later on.
So I had the employee help me. That was a romantic experience in and of itself because she had to hold a little microphone to my mouth and I'm doing like sultry whispering like, hey babe, I'm going to miss you so much.
You said, hey babe, I miss you very much and I'll see you very soon. I looked up the woman is sobbing just absolutely falling apart.
This is now the cutest thing she has ever seen. She's still baffled. She's sobbing but confused.
You had to retake it like four or five times too because you didn't know it was such a short... Like you kept going over. She was like, oh, you poor thing.
And I'll just say when you play that voice memo, the echoing sounds of the people in the mall all around Shane because I think they went out into the mall to do it.
It's just, it is not a nice thing to listen to. So we made this gnarly, stripped down, naked bear.
We named it something ridiculous. We're not going to say what the name was, but it was embarrassing.
Yeah. Cringy and gross. And then they brought it over on a birth certificate. Yep, and they were like, they had to still be excited and like, you know, pretending this is adorable even though they are mortified by what we were doing in their store.
They bring over our certificate and like pronounced our baby boy, you know, alive and here's your bear.
Please get out of our store. You're scaring the other customers. This is a store for children.
Yeah. Did you enjoy the bear building experience? Not really.
I didn't really. Do you want to tell them where your bear is today? Because I know where it is.
It's actually, it's in our bedroom. Is it? Yeah, I moved it. It was in a box in the basement. It was in a box for like three years.
Shane got mad because he, the other day remembered when we were talking about this, he remembered that we made that bear and he was like, wait a second, where is it?
And I was like, oh, I don't think I ever unpacked it when we moved. So it was in a box for a year, but I went and got it from the basement and now I havenit in our bedroom. And I will say for the months or the years that we were long distance, you did have thatbear by your side more often than maybe you should have. It was in my dorm room. I loved my bear.
It served its purpose. I think that I should start a business where I can go with strangers to build a bear as their fake boyfriend. If they want a really magical build a bear experience.
It kind of throws it off. I don't think anyone wants that experience. It confuses everyone. It really does. So that was our build a bear story.
Very romantic, very weird, very Junkyard Mayhem. We should go back. Don't they have build a bear in LA?
I'm sure they do. Let's go to every build a bear in LA. I want to go to the original one that we went to the first time and I want to be like, you
know what? We're married now. We weren't kidding around. It's probably not the same employees.
It's probably not. All right, everyone. We're going to take a quick break and then we will come back with a much less happy...
Oh boy. We're going to fight. We're going to have a little debate. (music) We have all done that thing where you discover a new symptom that your body is having and you end up going online and stumbling down a terrifying, TikTok rabbit hole of questionable advice from so-called experts. Like the other week, I found this like mole on my belly that I'm not entirely convinced has always been there. And so obviously I went right online to try to figure out what this might be.
And the answers are horrifying. I'm now convinced that, you know, I only have a few days left.
There are better ways to get the answers that you want and the care that you deserve from trusted professionals and not random people on the internet. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care that you need and deliver the type of experience that you want. You know, since we're spending a few months out here in LA, I just realized like we don't have doctors or any medical care out here. Yeah. So this could be really helpful if we need to, you know, get something figured out medically.
Yeah. Zocdoc is the only free app that lets you find and book doctors who are patient-reviewed, take your insurance, are available when you need them, and treat almost every condition under the sun.
Surprise twists and mayhem might work for podcasts, but maybe not for medical care.
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Zocdoc.com slash junkyard. All right. It is time for Junkyard demolition.
Whoa. That's a good name. It's a good name, but it doesn't really reflect what we're about to be doing, except for demolishing each other's well-being. We are about to debate in front of you in real time.
Hannah and I argue often. It's one of our favorite things to do in our relationship. I wouldn't say argue.
We like debate. Debate. Yeah. I was going to say, it's never in a mean nasty way, but we're very opinionated people.
And we often enjoy discussions. Heated discussions, where we are trying to prove the other wrong and put holes in their ideas and dreams. I hope I don't actually get mad at you. I hope you do, that would make for a great episode.
I know. I think I'm going to get mad at you because there's no way I won't. We randomly selected three starter debate topics out of a list of 100 so that we wouldn't know what they were. So we couldn't prepare. Hannah has them now. We have three of them.
I don't really know how to debate's start. Maybe you can tell us since you were in debate in high school.
There's an affirmative side, a negative side, which I guess we'll just decide which we want.
Hopefully we fall on different sides of the issue. I know. Then we would do our opening statements.
Then we would do rebuttals to rebut each other's opening statements. I'm going to rebut the hell out of you.
There's cross-questioning where we can ask questions to each other. I don't know how... This isn't going to stay structured though.
Did I need a lawyer? It's just a laughable idea that we are going to be like, and now your turn.
I'm... Do you have your timer? I don't have my timer. Three minutes on the clock. All right. Let's get into it.
First question. All right. The first question is... Oh, also, the audience, you are the judge.
For each one, award a point and whoever gets some more points out of three.
Leave a comment who won each round. Round one. Ding ding ding. Round one.
The thing is, people are just going to vote for the side they agree with. That's what I would do.
Whoever argues their side better. Okay. But these are just kind of like opinions. Happiness is more important than success.
(Shane laughs) This is perfectly suited for us. Hannah, go ahead and give your opening statement.
We don't even need to discuss which side we're on. It's so obvious. I'm on the affirmative side of this.
Shane, I believe that happiness is more important than success. And I know in the very core of my being that you are incorrect.
The rules have already been broken. Success, ladies and gentlemen, is more important than happiness.
Okay. The thing is... Today, I stand before you, a humble man, a broken man, a successful man, and a happy man.
I know without a shadow of a doubt. Is this how debates work? No. I think it's whoever is more assertive and dominant.
So I guess I'll just become assertive and dominant. The thing is, you want success because you're assuming that that will bring you happiness, correct?
I feel that it's kind of a kill two birds with one stone type of situation.
Success begets happiness. No, that's where you're wrong. That's where you're wrong and your own life proves it.
You are forever dissatisfied. Dropping personal bombs. Dropping personal bombs.
Shane, if you had looked at where we are right now five years ago, seven years ago when we met, you would have your mind blown.
Every goal that you ever set for yourself, you reached. And yet now, you are no more happy than you were seven years ago.
I disagree. You were just as happy seven years ago as you are now. Yes, I'm seven years happier because my success has carried me and my set point of happiness throughout the years. Yeah, your set point of happiness changes though. Because of my success.
That's what I'm saying. You can get more and more successful, but you're not getting more and more happy. Hannah, let me ask you a very simple question.
What makes you happy? It's like family, doing things that you love, being comfortable, a certain amount of money and amenities. But at a certain point, you're not getting more happy.
Are you going to get psychological on me here? It's not psychological. It's just like look at your own life.
That's why I'm putting it in terms of you because I feel that that should be easy for you to understand. Do you think I'm happier than I was seven years ago?
Yes. Oh my God. Shane, we were so happy seven years ago. We're just as happy now.
We don't go to build a bear as often. (both laugh)
No, but I genuinely do. I prioritize success, to a default.
No, not to a default. You mean to a fault? To a fault. To a default.
It is your default also. This is why I'm not a debater because I just spit words out and they don't make sense.
The judge is like we don't know what your argument was. And you do put success over happiness. Because I genuinely believe, I think that happiness is the pinnacle of human existence.
Oh look, he just stepped in it. I might have just reversed my own opinion. He just stepped in it. I win.
Ding, ding, ding. I believe that success is a means to an end for the happiness. If I just sat around all day, you know, twiddling my thumbs and humming my favorite songs and eating my favorite foods and watching my favorite movies, all the things that bring me happiness.
That might last for a day, two days. But I need that internal drive, that climbing the mountain, achieving things.
I'm the kind of person that would just be happy doing the movies and the sitting around twiddling my thumbs endlessly.
That's what she does most days. But I'm just saying, you say you want that internal drive, but you never ever reach it.
So I don't see how that's satisfying. It's about, it's the journey. It's the people you meet along the way.
That's tiring to me. And now you're just using cliches. So I declare myself the winner. Shane said that the pinnacle of humanity is happiness.
So I think that that means happiness is more important than success. But we are... Also, what even is success?
Happiness is at least like, we have a sense of that. What's success? Success is self defined, which is why anyone can be successful.
Hmm. That's good. 10 points for Shane. Oh my God. No, you don't get to go back on saying happiness is the pinnacle.
All right. So I took that round. Let's move on to round number two. All right.
Question number two. Oh wait. Ding, ding, ding. Go ahead. This isn't a boxing ring.
I don't know why we're doing ding, ding, ding. Not yet, it's not. It is better to be kind than to be truthful.
Ooh. These are existential.
Yeah, they are. What list did you read from?
I think that we also fall on different sides.
I don't like existential questions. I would have preferred to debate like a scientific question.
Maybe, well, that's pretty easy though. Okay.
No, there are some that would work.
Let's debate whether or not scientific topics would be... All right.
I believe that it is more important to be kind than truthful.
I think that interpersonal relationships and the well-being and comfort of others is paramount in human interaction.
That makes sense.
And I think that anyone that thinks otherwise is a monster of a human being.
That kind of tone is not accepted in debate. You would be kicked right out. I will say, I don't really know where I actually fall down on this. I'll take the other side because I think that's obviously the point of this.
You hear that, Judges? She doesn't even feel a conviction.
That's not the point of debate. You don't need to feel conviction. You're assigned randomly when you're doing debate. It's not about what you feel. It's about actually, we should be arguing the opposite sides. That would allow you to stretch your argumentative muscles.
I don't want to stretch anything.
Okay.
I hate stretching. I want to tell you what I believe.
I believe it is more important to be truthful than to be kind. I am not capable of being kind in a non-truthful way. So that kind of works for me. If I don't like someone or what someone said, there is no putting on a smile and...
She doesn't fake it very well.
Being friendly. I don't fake it very well. So I don't really have a choice in where I fall on this matter anyway, but I do think that it's more important to be truthful than to be kind. I know that your interpersonal relationships thing, you think being kind is more important. So Shane, when you are talking to someone, you would prefer that they lie to you and say something that they perceive as kind versus tell you the truth. If you ask them, is what I wrote good? You would prefer that someone lie to you versus be truthful.
If they can lie really well so that I believe it. Really? You wouldn't want the truth.
No. God, I hate this game. I'm coming down on the same side as Hannah.
I think a lot of people... You want to be kind to someone, but you want to receive the truth. So I don't think it would be fair to be like, it's more important to be kind to people, but I hope people are truthful to me.
Every single day when we are getting ready for the day, Hannah shoves her armpit into my face.
Oh, my God. This is not true.
And says, do I smell?
This is once a week. I do do that like once a week.
The fact that it exists is my favorite thing.
Every once in a while, you got to check and I can't tell.
I guess if I am untruthful and I lie and I say,
no, you don't smell.
You smell wonderful. You smell like roses. You're the most beautiful smelling person I've ever met.
When in reality, it's like a junkyard in that armpit. Then yeah, you know what? That's a bad thing. I would be doing you a disservice.
So you're just arguing my side. Also, I like how I picked your writing and you picked that my armpit smells like a junkyard.So rude.
I'm using real examples from our lives.
So I win that round again because you just switched sides and argued my side.
This is why I didn't do debate in high school.
Oh my God.
I like writing where you can think through your thoughts rather than having to come up with them off the top of your head.
All right. Ding, ding, ding. I win. Round three, scientists should develop a way for everyone to live forever.
Oh, my goodness.
That's kind of a scientific one. It has scientists in the title. Look at that, science!
Scientists should develop a way? Scientists should develop a way for everyone to live forever.
What's your opinion? I'm a strong no. You're a strong no? Yeah. Ooh, I think I'm a yes.
Okay. I have a problem with eternity. Yeah. This is going to get dark.
I know you have a problem with eternity, but... You ever lay awake at night and just stare at the ceiling and wonder or realize that you're going to die. Yeah, I think so. You're not going to live forever. I don't realize it every night.
I know it. It's not so much of a realization as it is just a regular thought.
Does it ever just occur to you? But the idea when you're a kid of everyone living forever is a great one.
I love that. However, when you actually think about it, we cannot mentally wrap our heads around forever.
When you say that you think that scientists should, I'm like, I don't think you're really grasping forever, forever.
When I think of forever, I see you. Okay. And if that were true, that would raise a whole host of issues.
First of all, would everyone just have access to this? Because I highly doubt it based on how we structure our society. Oh, there would be a disparity.
I don't know if you'd be given the treatment. Second, what would happen about having kids?
Would people just not be allowed to have kids anymore if you chose it? Because you can't just fill up the earth with immortals forever.
Interesting point. So it raises all sorts of ethical issues that I don't think are worth it.
Practicalities aside. Well, no, no, let's not put those aside.
Dismissing and ignoring everything you just said. I think that the, you know, the key.
No. I think that the single biggest driver for any of us in life is our own mortality.
And how incredible would it be if we weren't all constantly somewhere deep down fighting against this understanding that our time here is limited? But I don't think, I think what you're saying the first time makes more sense.
Like it's the biggest driver behind everyone, or at least it should be. I think if we lived forever, we would kind of lose all purpose.
Like what would you even do then? There'd be no point to anything. Because you would eventually do everything.
Another debate tactic, saying you're right to your opponent. Try it out, kids.
I think life extension 100%, but I do think like there should be an end because otherwise, like forever is forever. That's true. If there's no end, then you are eventually running out of everything in the universe and then you will still have forever to just implode in your own brain.
But you can eat at every restaurant a thousand million times over. But eventually the earth is probably going to die.
You know, where are we going to go now? Before that happens, you can eat at every restaurant.
You just want an extra like 10 years. You can live long enough to see mind blowing inventions.
Uh huh. You know, maybe we figure out how to build other planets.
But other generations can do that. You just want that all for yourself. Yeah, this is a very selfish opinion. Okay.
But yeah, I want to be around when they invent 6G cell phones. So do you want...? That's...
7G cell phones. Very limited. Do you want to live forever or do you want to live for a thousand years?
I want to live forever and then see. No, you do not. I don't believe you. You're just saying that for the debate.
Do you maintain like your current physical state or is a 999,000 year old?
I know. Like much different kind of person than a 30 year old.
Well, I have no idea. If you maintain, like if I maintain my 30 year old personhood.
You're just frozen like a vampire? Well, frozen in time. Yeah. Then yeah, I want to.
If everyone around me, no, I don't want to live forever. I think you're right.
Honestly, yeah, but the fact that we die is the biggest motivator in my life.
Yeah. On some level, unspoken level. And without it, there's really no urgency.
There's nothing, without it, there's nothing. Not even urgency in like professional worlds, but like in love, you know?
Yeah. Like, why get married, why find a partner when you can do that in 300,000 years?
Exactly. All right. So I won all three rounds. You just have to let Shane keep talking.
He'll eventually talk himself out of it. I don't know. No, I think I won because. Okay.
Growth is more important than conviction. Thank arguing correctly, of course.
So I'll just flop to all of your sides and I'll call that winning. All right.
That was our first debate segment, Junkyard Demolition. I don't like debating you in front of a camera.
I think we should do this every week. All right. We'll be right back with a fun game called Hypothetical Freaks.
(music) All right. We are back from our break. We are ready for Hypothetical Freaks and this is a special edition.
We are really scared. Shane, do you know what is happening in three days?
I got an email today. It's in three days. I don't know if I'm ready. It's in three days. Why don't you tell them? We are taking our first ever cruise.
Oh my God. I'm terrified. Do you know how easily I get motion sick? Very, very easily. She gets motion sick in the driver's seat of a car.
Most people, you have to be in the back and reading or something. If anyone drives me at all, I can't.
So I... If you lean over the wrong way, you get motion sick. You get out of bed and you're like, oh man.
She was helping me use the bathroom like two days ago. That's not motion sick. That's just lightheaded.
Well, they're all intertwined. It feels intertwined. I think your lightheaded-ness is gonna come into play when your motion sick.
So I have like four different kinds of medication. I have patches. I have the wristbands.
I'm hopefully well prepared and hopefully the seas are steady.
But we're kind of a little bit nervous about going on this cruise. Our first one ever, is Hannah gonna be throwing up the whole time?
32:
Am I gonna have to fend for myself? Will I get to captain the boat? Lots of questions as we enter it.
So we're going to play Hypothetical Freaks. So I think we should begin by addressing how to handle it.
If you are extremely ill. And I think because of what we're paying for this cruise that we need to just deal with it and partake in every activity out there, no matter how green in the face you are.
Wow. If we have to go to dinner with a few baggies in your pockets and you have to empty yourself a few times at the table. You know what? This is being made all the worse and people don't know because we are going with friends.
We are going with Cole and Charisma from their YouTube channel. You might know them. So this is happening while we are, what, face to face with them at the dinner table?
Yes. I just hold up my napkin and throw up behind it? No napkin. You hold the bag up to your face and you stare them straight in the eye and you puke and you keep a smile on your face. We will have fun on this cruise no matter what.
What I sincerely believe and this isn't even hypothetical freaks at this point. If I am motion sick, I do believe that if I am in water, I think I will feel better.
Because I have been in an ocean and I do not feel motion sick in an ocean. I did get sick once when I was scuba diving so maybe this isn't true.
But I'm hoping that if I get in the pool on the boat and it's like 60 degrees right now so I'm not sure if the pool is even going to be in use. But if I float all day long, I might be able to make it through the cruise.
Is this a hypothetical freak thing? Yeah. Me floating all day. It's my true solution A, but B it makes a good hypothetical freaks because the image of me alone in the pool floating on my back. At 4am.
I'm going to have to ask them to keep the pool open overnight so that I can survive is a good one. That's the hypothetical freaks scenario.
You going to the nurses office to request a pass to be in the pool overnight because you need to be floating. An accommodation. Speaking of the nurses office, you're probably going to end up there.
Let's not kid ourselves. There's going to be some time spent on a gurney in this ship and I think that I should bring the Disney cast into your room to make you feel better. I'm going to find Mickey out on the ship.
He's gonna see me in my wheelchair and lose his mind. I'm going to be like Mickey, I cannot believe that this is you.
I'm so excited and I need your help. And he's gonna be like (bad Mickey impression) Okay. They don't talk.
Mickey doesn't talk. Mickey is very high pitched. Mickey doesn't talk. It's something Mickey does. I know, I'm saying, when you meet Mickey, he's not going to be speaking to you.
I'm going to say, Mickey take my hand and I'm going to lead him through the through ship. He's going to say, where are we going? I'm going to say...
No, he isn't. There's someone I want you to meet. I'm going to bring him into your nurses station room.
Mickey. I'm going to ask him to lie down with you and cuddle you because I'm going to tell him she's not able to lift me in the bed. I can't hug her. Mickey, I need you. That's nice.
That's thoughtful of you. I'm going to wander the halls of the cruise ship at night, singing.
(singing) M-I-C-K-E-Y-M-O-U-S-E. It'd be funnier if you were singing like the Titanic theme song.
I'm going to wander around the cruise ship. Just going, so no icebergs, right? None. There's none in this area. Are you sure?
We should just wear life vests the whole time just to be safe. Wouldn't want to risk it. I'm going to tell strangers that I'm, what's the word for terrified of water? Hydropobic.
And this is my worst nightmare, but you're convinced that this is how I'm gonna get over my fear.
Yeah. Well, I think that almost wraps up hypothetical freaks. I have one more scenario for you, Shane.
I'm feeling better. This is a true one. Shane cannot get off the boat at the one stop.
We have one stop on our cruise, and he can't get off. It's not accessible. Yeah, neither can Cole.
You can't get off in a wheelchair. And so I just feel like that scenario, that situation of everyone else getting off the boat.
There's a lot we can do with that. There's a lot that's going to, yeah. Ooh. So we're all aware that we can't get off, and we could just stay on the boat and enjoy the activities with no people there, which is what we will do in real life. But in hypothetical freaks land, I'm going to sit at the exit, watch everyone get off, and then stay there.
And the employees are going to be picking up and closing the gate and looking at me, and I'm just
going to just sit and whimper. I'm not going to cry, I'm going to whimper. Everyone's pulling away in their little tender boats.
(Shane whimpering) And then when they get back on, ask every single person what they did.
What was it like? And an employee eventually is going to come over and be like, hey, are you okay?
What are you doing? And I'm going to say my dream was to see Mexico.
My one dream. That would get us something.
You might be given a free cupcake at that point. That's really my goal in all of this. Yeah.
Make the employees feel so bad that they give me cupcakes. Well, I feel much better.
Yeah, I do too. I'm hoping I don't get seasick. Oh, we'll see. Lord, if she does, we're going to have actual Junkyard Mayhem to report next time.
I don't do well when I'm nauseous. We'll see. But I'm excited. All right, everyone. That was Junkyard Mayhem, episode 11.
If you enjoyed this podcast, please leave a review on whatever platform you are using.
You're doing a great job taking us out. Like us, star us, review us.
And? I'm getting bored. This is where we wrap it up nice and quick. Come on, Shane, give us a little tagline.
It is a junkyard out there, everyone. Put your life vest on because the ocean is in motion.
That doesn't bode well for me. The ocean is filled with garbage, which is sad but true.
Let's pick up the litter. Get out into that ocean. Clean it up.
Bring it to your nearest junkyard. Okay. Goodbye.
Shane: Hannah, I have a complaint.
Hannah: What's your complaint, Shane?
Shane: In our last episode of Junkyard Mayhem, we posed a question to the audience. Who would you prefer bring us in and out of each segment? Me or you?
Hannah: Okay.
Shane: And an overwhelming number of people said you.
Hannah:I don't think that's true.
Shane: I'm the one that reads the comments.
Hannah: I feel like you're lying. Is that true?
Shane: Why don't you go ahead and bring us in today's episode? Give everyone what they want apparently. I'll just go sit outside, let me know when the podcast is over.
Hannah: I think you are better at bringing us into the podcast, and I think you are especially better at bringing us out. I do enjoy your antics.
Shane: The people have spoken. (music)
Hannah: Well, welcome to Junkyard Mayhem, episode 11. We are in LA.
Shane: (singing) We're in Los Angeles.
Hannah: So if you're watching this and not just listening, you can see that we are not in our home podcast studio.
Shane: This is our LA studio. No big deal. This LA studio doesn't have window blinds. So you might see some very aggressive lighting as we progress through our episodes.
Hannah: Yeah. Might want to switch to audio only for the next couple episodes. Put it on black and white. (both laugh)
Shane: All right. Well, today we have a very fun episode for you. We have a segment for you that will probably end in our divorce.
I'm excited about it.
We are going to be doing a debate.
Yep.
We've picked out three divisive questions. Hannah is a master debater, which is a word that you have to say very carefully.
Okay, Shane.
And I am not. And we're going to put those two skill levels to the test.
Yes, one of us did debate in high school.
It was not me. Before we get into that segment, because that's going to be a fight. It's going to be a negative experience for you and us. So before we do that, we have a fun, exciting, or not exciting, silly... tVery Junkyard Mayhemy sory from very early on in our relationship when Hannah and I were the biggest cheese balls that two people can be.
This is going to make us feel loving toward each other so that we can hopefully survive the next segment.
Yeah, remember the good in our relationship?
Yeah. So Shane, when was this? This was like 2016.
Time is an enigma.
I think you say that every time I bring up a date.
Time is a vague, murky, unknowable.
It's not actually. This was in the summer of 2016. I think it was in August since I actually have a specific memory...
Do you keep notes about these things?
About events like this and I was visiting Shane in Pennsylvania.
This is when we were long distance.
Yeah. And this was like the third visit. This was in August 2016. This was my third visit to Pennsylvania. And I had this idea that like when you had a boyfriend, maybe you would go to build a bear and get like a couple's stuffed animal.
Wait, you had this idea like this was a part of you?
Yeah.
Before you met me, this was a thing?
Like this was just like a thing that I guess I just thought maybe this was something that you might do.
And Hannah was dropping these hints throughout the early months of our relationship. Like wouldn't it be cute if we might have made like a couple's bear?
Like what?
I had never stepped wheel into a build a bear in my life because I was a 25 year old human being at the time, and...
In my defense, you were 23. I was 20. But I was 20. Isn't that a little bit sad?
I wasn't like 14. I was 20.
But this is also the time in our relationship when we were beginning to realize that okay, this is like real.
Yeah.
Like this is love, love. And all of these goodbyes because we were long distance and Hannah would visit or I would visit. And then we'd have to say goodbye for a month or two months or three months.
Yeah.
And they were really getting hard and it was miserable whenever we weren't in person together. So on this visit, we were like, you know what, maybe that bear would be a cute thing for Hannah to have.
Yeah.
To remember me when we're not together.
Exactly. I had one of your sweatshirts that miraculously fit me. It was a small sweatshirt, but it fit me. And I wanted something else. So I wanted a build a bear. And finally on this third visit, we decided to go to build a bear.
It was a mistake. I'm going to just say that right up front.
I still have the build a bear. It wasn't a mistake, but it was not the experience that I thought it might be.
It wasn't a dreamy romantic... Boyfriend takes girlfriend into build a bear and makes her a bear. No.
So we go to the mall. I'm really, really excited. We're walking through. I remember we stopped and got like ice tea. At a little ice tea stand. I was excited about that.
We had like cute outfits on. We were going to like do this build a bear. Then like go to dinner. I know. Walking through the mall, Hannah's arm is draped around my shoulders. We're stopping every like four feet to kiss. It's disgusting.
We're really excited. So we go to build a bear.
We saunter into build a bear.
And I don't know if I was mistaken and couples don't normally go to build a bear. Maybe I was just wrong. I honestly have no idea.
Or... was it my wheelchair?
Or was it the fact that the build a bear employee who happened to be working that day was confused about the nature of our relationship?
To give you a sense of what Hannah means by that. When we entered build a bear, I saw three or four different employees gasp, rush over and say things like, oh my goodness, he's here for a bear isn't he? This is his trip. You know they saw my wheelchair and instantly were like, oh boy, this is it. This is the moment we've been waiting for. We are going to make a little disabled boy's dreams come true.
This might be his make-a-wish. We don't know. This could be it.
And what transpired was like a version of hypothetical freaks. The game we play where we make up hypothetical ridiculous situations but played out in real life.
It's like the employees were playing hypothetical freaks in person.
So in build a bear you get paired up with an employee who kind of walks you through the whole ordeal.
Yeah.
It is an ordeal. And she comes over and the first thing she does is kind of look at Hannah and determine that Hannah is my mother, my caregiver, my caretaker, my attendant. And says to Hannah something like, all right, what are we going to be making for him today? Instantly we're like, oh no, no, no, we're making a bear together. And she's like, oh, so cute. Are you guys friends? Yeah. You know, brother and sister, what are you? We were like, no.
I think she actually said are you guys brother and sister.
She asked something, yeah, I'm trying to remember. We were like, no, no, no, this is my girlfriend. This is my boyfriend.
Yeah.
Her jaw hit the floor. This experience just became a holy experience.
But I feel like from that point on she was a little bit standoffish. I don't know if she thought she was being pranked. Like in my memory she was not really that like involved after that. Do you remember that? I feel like she was just kind of like, oh, okay.
She was very unsettled.
Unsettled.
She was like, walking on eggshells.
Yeah.
But we had to like pick out the bear we wanted. Yeah. And Hannah and I's...Hannah and my, Hannah and I.
Yeah, my. Our behavior, you know, in regards to like making this bear was kind of tongue in cheek.
Yeah. Like we made fun of every bear option that was available.
Or at least you did. Oh, I did. Hannah would hold up an alligator and be like, should I do this?
And I would make a joke. And what I realized was that this woman probably didn't understand that we were just kidding around with each other and it instead looked like I, as the boyfriend was like, we're going to make you a bear and then ridiculed every decision that Hannah made about this bear.
Oh no, you're right. Do you remember when I put my voice inside the bear? So I didn't want any add ons because they're very expensive.
I wanted a naked bear. That's the other thing. Hannah kept denying all the cute stuff that you could ask.
So she was like, just give me a plain bear. Please. And the woman was like, are you guys having fun? Yeah. I guess people normally... I did not want to spend money on an outfit.
So I was like, I want the bear and I want nothing else, like nothing. And Shane insisted at one point on putting his voice inside the bear, which I was very much against because I was like, well, then it might accidentally go off while I'm like snuggling the bear and then it's going to terrify me.
But Shane was like, no, no, no, this is the only special part. Like this is my choice. We're like fighting in front of this woman. I'm like, I don't want it.
And he's like, well, you're going to have it. And so, to do this, I wanted to record a little voice memo that Hannah wouldn't know what it said until later on.
So I had the employee help me. That was a romantic experience in and of itself because she had to hold a little microphone to my mouth and I'm doing like sultry whispering like, hey babe, I'm going to miss you so much.
You said, hey babe, I miss you very much and I'll see you very soon. I looked up the woman is sobbing just absolutely falling apart.
This is now the cutest thing she has ever seen. She's still baffled. She's sobbing but confused.
You had to retake it like four or five times too because you didn't know it was such a short... Like you kept going over. She was like, oh, you poor thing.
And I'll just say when you play that voice memo, the echoing sounds of the people in the mall all around Shane because I think they went out into the mall to do it.
It's just, it is not a nice thing to listen to. So we made this gnarly, stripped down, naked bear.
We named it something ridiculous. We're not going to say what the name was, but it was embarrassing.
Yeah. Cringy and gross. And then they brought it over on a birth certificate. Yep, and they were like, they had to still be excited and like, you know, pretending this is adorable even though they are mortified by what we were doing in their store.
They bring over our certificate and like pronounced our baby boy, you know, alive and here's your bear.
Please get out of our store. You're scaring the other customers. This is a store for children.
Yeah. Did you enjoy the bear building experience? Not really.
I didn't really. Do you want to tell them where your bear is today? Because I know where it is.
It's actually, it's in our bedroom. Is it? Yeah, I moved it. It was in a box in the basement. It was in a box for like three years.
Shane got mad because he, the other day remembered when we were talking about this, he remembered that we made that bear and he was like, wait a second, where is it?
And I was like, oh, I don't think I ever unpacked it when we moved. So it was in a box for a year, but I went and got it from the basement and now I havenit in our bedroom. And I will say for the months or the years that we were long distance, you did have thatbear by your side more often than maybe you should have. It was in my dorm room. I loved my bear.
It served its purpose. I think that I should start a business where I can go with strangers to build a bear as their fake boyfriend. If they want a really magical build a bear experience.
It kind of throws it off. I don't think anyone wants that experience. It confuses everyone. It really does. So that was our build a bear story.
Very romantic, very weird, very Junkyard Mayhem. We should go back. Don't they have build a bear in LA?
I'm sure they do. Let's go to every build a bear in LA. I want to go to the original one that we went to the first time and I want to be like, you
know what? We're married now. We weren't kidding around. It's probably not the same employees.
It's probably not. All right, everyone. We're going to take a quick break and then we will come back with a much less happy...
Oh boy. We're going to fight. We're going to have a little debate. (music) We have all done that thing where you discover a new symptom that your body is having and you end up going online and stumbling down a terrifying, TikTok rabbit hole of questionable advice from so-called experts. Like the other week, I found this like mole on my belly that I'm not entirely convinced has always been there. And so obviously I went right online to try to figure out what this might be.
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Zocdoc.com slash junkyard. All right. It is time for Junkyard demolition.
Whoa. That's a good name. It's a good name, but it doesn't really reflect what we're about to be doing, except for demolishing each other's well-being. We are about to debate in front of you in real time.
Hannah and I argue often. It's one of our favorite things to do in our relationship. I wouldn't say argue.
We like debate. Debate. Yeah. I was going to say, it's never in a mean nasty way, but we're very opinionated people.
And we often enjoy discussions. Heated discussions, where we are trying to prove the other wrong and put holes in their ideas and dreams. I hope I don't actually get mad at you. I hope you do, that would make for a great episode.
I know. I think I'm going to get mad at you because there's no way I won't. We randomly selected three starter debate topics out of a list of 100 so that we wouldn't know what they were. So we couldn't prepare. Hannah has them now. We have three of them.
I don't really know how to debate's start. Maybe you can tell us since you were in debate in high school.
There's an affirmative side, a negative side, which I guess we'll just decide which we want.
Hopefully we fall on different sides of the issue. I know. Then we would do our opening statements.
Then we would do rebuttals to rebut each other's opening statements. I'm going to rebut the hell out of you.
There's cross-questioning where we can ask questions to each other. I don't know how... This isn't going to stay structured though.
Did I need a lawyer? It's just a laughable idea that we are going to be like, and now your turn.
I'm... Do you have your timer? I don't have my timer. Three minutes on the clock. All right. Let's get into it.
First question. All right. The first question is... Oh, also, the audience, you are the judge.
For each one, award a point and whoever gets some more points out of three.
Leave a comment who won each round. Round one. Ding ding ding. Round one.
The thing is, people are just going to vote for the side they agree with. That's what I would do.
Whoever argues their side better. Okay. But these are just kind of like opinions. Happiness is more important than success.
(Shane laughs) This is perfectly suited for us. Hannah, go ahead and give your opening statement.
We don't even need to discuss which side we're on. It's so obvious. I'm on the affirmative side of this.
Shane, I believe that happiness is more important than success. And I know in the very core of my being that you are incorrect.
The rules have already been broken. Success, ladies and gentlemen, is more important than happiness.
Okay. The thing is... Today, I stand before you, a humble man, a broken man, a successful man, and a happy man.
I know without a shadow of a doubt. Is this how debates work? No. I think it's whoever is more assertive and dominant.
So I guess I'll just become assertive and dominant. The thing is, you want success because you're assuming that that will bring you happiness, correct?
I feel that it's kind of a kill two birds with one stone type of situation.
Success begets happiness. No, that's where you're wrong. That's where you're wrong and your own life proves it.
You are forever dissatisfied. Dropping personal bombs. Dropping personal bombs.
Shane, if you had looked at where we are right now five years ago, seven years ago when we met, you would have your mind blown.
Every goal that you ever set for yourself, you reached. And yet now, you are no more happy than you were seven years ago.
I disagree. You were just as happy seven years ago as you are now. Yes, I'm seven years happier because my success has carried me and my set point of happiness throughout the years. Yeah, your set point of happiness changes though. Because of my success.
That's what I'm saying. You can get more and more successful, but you're not getting more and more happy. Hannah, let me ask you a very simple question.
What makes you happy? It's like family, doing things that you love, being comfortable, a certain amount of money and amenities. But at a certain point, you're not getting more happy.
Are you going to get psychological on me here? It's not psychological. It's just like look at your own life.
That's why I'm putting it in terms of you because I feel that that should be easy for you to understand. Do you think I'm happier than I was seven years ago?
Yes. Oh my God. Shane, we were so happy seven years ago. We're just as happy now.
We don't go to build a bear as often. (both laugh)
No, but I genuinely do. I prioritize success, to a default.
No, not to a default. You mean to a fault? To a fault. To a default.
It is your default also. This is why I'm not a debater because I just spit words out and they don't make sense.
The judge is like we don't know what your argument was. And you do put success over happiness. Because I genuinely believe, I think that happiness is the pinnacle of human existence.
Oh look, he just stepped in it. I might have just reversed my own opinion. He just stepped in it. I win.
Ding, ding, ding. I believe that success is a means to an end for the happiness. If I just sat around all day, you know, twiddling my thumbs and humming my favorite songs and eating my favorite foods and watching my favorite movies, all the things that bring me happiness.
That might last for a day, two days. But I need that internal drive, that climbing the mountain, achieving things.
I'm the kind of person that would just be happy doing the movies and the sitting around twiddling my thumbs endlessly.
That's what she does most days. But I'm just saying, you say you want that internal drive, but you never ever reach it.
So I don't see how that's satisfying. It's about, it's the journey. It's the people you meet along the way.
That's tiring to me. And now you're just using cliches. So I declare myself the winner. Shane said that the pinnacle of humanity is happiness.
So I think that that means happiness is more important than success. But we are... Also, what even is success?
Happiness is at least like, we have a sense of that. What's success? Success is self defined, which is why anyone can be successful.
Hmm. That's good. 10 points for Shane. Oh my God. No, you don't get to go back on saying happiness is the pinnacle.
All right. So I took that round. Let's move on to round number two. All right.
Question number two. Oh wait. Ding, ding, ding. Go ahead. This isn't a boxing ring.
I don't know why we're doing ding, ding, ding. Not yet, it's not. It is better to be kind than to be truthful.
Ooh. These are existential.
Yeah, they are. What list did you read from?
I think that we also fall on different sides.
I don't like existential questions. I would have preferred to debate like a scientific question.
Maybe, well, that's pretty easy though. Okay.
No, there are some that would work.
Let's debate whether or not scientific topics would be... All right.
I believe that it is more important to be kind than truthful.
I think that interpersonal relationships and the well-being and comfort of others is paramount in human interaction.
That makes sense.
And I think that anyone that thinks otherwise is a monster of a human being.
That kind of tone is not accepted in debate. You would be kicked right out. I will say, I don't really know where I actually fall down on this. I'll take the other side because I think that's obviously the point of this.
You hear that, Judges? She doesn't even feel a conviction.
That's not the point of debate. You don't need to feel conviction. You're assigned randomly when you're doing debate. It's not about what you feel. It's about actually, we should be arguing the opposite sides. That would allow you to stretch your argumentative muscles.
I don't want to stretch anything.
Okay.
I hate stretching. I want to tell you what I believe.
I believe it is more important to be truthful than to be kind. I am not capable of being kind in a non-truthful way. So that kind of works for me. If I don't like someone or what someone said, there is no putting on a smile and...
She doesn't fake it very well.
Being friendly. I don't fake it very well. So I don't really have a choice in where I fall on this matter anyway, but I do think that it's more important to be truthful than to be kind. I know that your interpersonal relationships thing, you think being kind is more important. So Shane, when you are talking to someone, you would prefer that they lie to you and say something that they perceive as kind versus tell you the truth. If you ask them, is what I wrote good? You would prefer that someone lie to you versus be truthful.
If they can lie really well so that I believe it. Really? You wouldn't want the truth.
No. God, I hate this game. I'm coming down on the same side as Hannah.
I think a lot of people... You want to be kind to someone, but you want to receive the truth. So I don't think it would be fair to be like, it's more important to be kind to people, but I hope people are truthful to me.
Every single day when we are getting ready for the day, Hannah shoves her armpit into my face.
Oh, my God. This is not true.
And says, do I smell?
This is once a week. I do do that like once a week.
The fact that it exists is my favorite thing.
Every once in a while, you got to check and I can't tell.
I guess if I am untruthful and I lie and I say,
no, you don't smell.
You smell wonderful. You smell like roses. You're the most beautiful smelling person I've ever met.
When in reality, it's like a junkyard in that armpit. Then yeah, you know what? That's a bad thing. I would be doing you a disservice.
So you're just arguing my side. Also, I like how I picked your writing and you picked that my armpit smells like a junkyard.So rude.
I'm using real examples from our lives.
So I win that round again because you just switched sides and argued my side.
This is why I didn't do debate in high school.
Oh my God.
I like writing where you can think through your thoughts rather than having to come up with them off the top of your head.
All right. Ding, ding, ding. I win. Round three, scientists should develop a way for everyone to live forever.
Oh, my goodness.
That's kind of a scientific one. It has scientists in the title. Look at that, science!
Scientists should develop a way? Scientists should develop a way for everyone to live forever.
What's your opinion? I'm a strong no. You're a strong no? Yeah. Ooh, I think I'm a yes.
Okay. I have a problem with eternity. Yeah. This is going to get dark.
I know you have a problem with eternity, but... You ever lay awake at night and just stare at the ceiling and wonder or realize that you're going to die. Yeah, I think so. You're not going to live forever. I don't realize it every night.
I know it. It's not so much of a realization as it is just a regular thought.
Does it ever just occur to you? But the idea when you're a kid of everyone living forever is a great one.
I love that. However, when you actually think about it, we cannot mentally wrap our heads around forever.
When you say that you think that scientists should, I'm like, I don't think you're really grasping forever, forever.
When I think of forever, I see you. Okay. And if that were true, that would raise a whole host of issues.
First of all, would everyone just have access to this? Because I highly doubt it based on how we structure our society. Oh, there would be a disparity.
I don't know if you'd be given the treatment. Second, what would happen about having kids?
Would people just not be allowed to have kids anymore if you chose it? Because you can't just fill up the earth with immortals forever.
Interesting point. So it raises all sorts of ethical issues that I don't think are worth it.
Practicalities aside. Well, no, no, let's not put those aside.
Dismissing and ignoring everything you just said. I think that the, you know, the key.
No. I think that the single biggest driver for any of us in life is our own mortality.
And how incredible would it be if we weren't all constantly somewhere deep down fighting against this understanding that our time here is limited? But I don't think, I think what you're saying the first time makes more sense.
Like it's the biggest driver behind everyone, or at least it should be. I think if we lived forever, we would kind of lose all purpose.
Like what would you even do then? There'd be no point to anything. Because you would eventually do everything.
Another debate tactic, saying you're right to your opponent. Try it out, kids.
I think life extension 100%, but I do think like there should be an end because otherwise, like forever is forever. That's true. If there's no end, then you are eventually running out of everything in the universe and then you will still have forever to just implode in your own brain.
But you can eat at every restaurant a thousand million times over. But eventually the earth is probably going to die.
You know, where are we going to go now? Before that happens, you can eat at every restaurant.
You just want an extra like 10 years. You can live long enough to see mind blowing inventions.
Uh huh. You know, maybe we figure out how to build other planets.
But other generations can do that. You just want that all for yourself. Yeah, this is a very selfish opinion. Okay.
But yeah, I want to be around when they invent 6G cell phones. So do you want...? That's...
7G cell phones. Very limited. Do you want to live forever or do you want to live for a thousand years?
I want to live forever and then see. No, you do not. I don't believe you. You're just saying that for the debate.
Do you maintain like your current physical state or is a 999,000 year old?
I know. Like much different kind of person than a 30 year old.
Well, I have no idea. If you maintain, like if I maintain my 30 year old personhood.
You're just frozen like a vampire? Well, frozen in time. Yeah. Then yeah, I want to.
If everyone around me, no, I don't want to live forever. I think you're right.
Honestly, yeah, but the fact that we die is the biggest motivator in my life.
Yeah. On some level, unspoken level. And without it, there's really no urgency.
There's nothing, without it, there's nothing. Not even urgency in like professional worlds, but like in love, you know?
Yeah. Like, why get married, why find a partner when you can do that in 300,000 years?
Exactly. All right. So I won all three rounds. You just have to let Shane keep talking.
He'll eventually talk himself out of it. I don't know. No, I think I won because. Okay.
Growth is more important than conviction. Thank arguing correctly, of course.
So I'll just flop to all of your sides and I'll call that winning. All right.
That was our first debate segment, Junkyard Demolition. I don't like debating you in front of a camera.
I think we should do this every week. All right. We'll be right back with a fun game called Hypothetical Freaks.
(music) All right. We are back from our break. We are ready for Hypothetical Freaks and this is a special edition.
We are really scared. Shane, do you know what is happening in three days?
I got an email today. It's in three days. I don't know if I'm ready. It's in three days. Why don't you tell them? We are taking our first ever cruise.
Oh my God. I'm terrified. Do you know how easily I get motion sick? Very, very easily. She gets motion sick in the driver's seat of a car.
Most people, you have to be in the back and reading or something. If anyone drives me at all, I can't.
So I... If you lean over the wrong way, you get motion sick. You get out of bed and you're like, oh man.
She was helping me use the bathroom like two days ago. That's not motion sick. That's just lightheaded.
Well, they're all intertwined. It feels intertwined. I think your lightheaded-ness is gonna come into play when your motion sick.
So I have like four different kinds of medication. I have patches. I have the wristbands.
I'm hopefully well prepared and hopefully the seas are steady.
But we're kind of a little bit nervous about going on this cruise. Our first one ever, is Hannah gonna be throwing up the whole time?
32:
Am I gonna have to fend for myself? Will I get to captain the boat? Lots of questions as we enter it.
So we're going to play Hypothetical Freaks. So I think we should begin by addressing how to handle it.
If you are extremely ill. And I think because of what we're paying for this cruise that we need to just deal with it and partake in every activity out there, no matter how green in the face you are.
Wow. If we have to go to dinner with a few baggies in your pockets and you have to empty yourself a few times at the table. You know what? This is being made all the worse and people don't know because we are going with friends.
We are going with Cole and Charisma from their YouTube channel. You might know them. So this is happening while we are, what, face to face with them at the dinner table?
Yes. I just hold up my napkin and throw up behind it? No napkin. You hold the bag up to your face and you stare them straight in the eye and you puke and you keep a smile on your face. We will have fun on this cruise no matter what.
What I sincerely believe and this isn't even hypothetical freaks at this point. If I am motion sick, I do believe that if I am in water, I think I will feel better.
Because I have been in an ocean and I do not feel motion sick in an ocean. I did get sick once when I was scuba diving so maybe this isn't true.
But I'm hoping that if I get in the pool on the boat and it's like 60 degrees right now so I'm not sure if the pool is even going to be in use. But if I float all day long, I might be able to make it through the cruise.
Is this a hypothetical freak thing? Yeah. Me floating all day. It's my true solution A, but B it makes a good hypothetical freaks because the image of me alone in the pool floating on my back. At 4am.
I'm going to have to ask them to keep the pool open overnight so that I can survive is a good one. That's the hypothetical freaks scenario.
You going to the nurses office to request a pass to be in the pool overnight because you need to be floating. An accommodation. Speaking of the nurses office, you're probably going to end up there.
Let's not kid ourselves. There's going to be some time spent on a gurney in this ship and I think that I should bring the Disney cast into your room to make you feel better. I'm going to find Mickey out on the ship.
He's gonna see me in my wheelchair and lose his mind. I'm going to be like Mickey, I cannot believe that this is you.
I'm so excited and I need your help. And he's gonna be like (bad Mickey impression) Okay. They don't talk.
Mickey doesn't talk. Mickey is very high pitched. Mickey doesn't talk. It's something Mickey does. I know, I'm saying, when you meet Mickey, he's not going to be speaking to you.
I'm going to say, Mickey take my hand and I'm going to lead him through the through ship. He's going to say, where are we going? I'm going to say...
No, he isn't. There's someone I want you to meet. I'm going to bring him into your nurses station room.
Mickey. I'm going to ask him to lie down with you and cuddle you because I'm going to tell him she's not able to lift me in the bed. I can't hug her. Mickey, I need you. That's nice.
That's thoughtful of you. I'm going to wander the halls of the cruise ship at night, singing.
(singing) M-I-C-K-E-Y-M-O-U-S-E. It'd be funnier if you were singing like the Titanic theme song.
I'm going to wander around the cruise ship. Just going, so no icebergs, right? None. There's none in this area. Are you sure?
We should just wear life vests the whole time just to be safe. Wouldn't want to risk it. I'm going to tell strangers that I'm, what's the word for terrified of water? Hydropobic.
And this is my worst nightmare, but you're convinced that this is how I'm gonna get over my fear.
Yeah. Well, I think that almost wraps up hypothetical freaks. I have one more scenario for you, Shane.
I'm feeling better. This is a true one. Shane cannot get off the boat at the one stop.
We have one stop on our cruise, and he can't get off. It's not accessible. Yeah, neither can Cole.
You can't get off in a wheelchair. And so I just feel like that scenario, that situation of everyone else getting off the boat.
There's a lot we can do with that. There's a lot that's going to, yeah. Ooh. So we're all aware that we can't get off, and we could just stay on the boat and enjoy the activities with no people there, which is what we will do in real life. But in hypothetical freaks land, I'm going to sit at the exit, watch everyone get off, and then stay there.
And the employees are going to be picking up and closing the gate and looking at me, and I'm just
going to just sit and whimper. I'm not going to cry, I'm going to whimper. Everyone's pulling away in their little tender boats.
(Shane whimpering) And then when they get back on, ask every single person what they did.
What was it like? And an employee eventually is going to come over and be like, hey, are you okay?
What are you doing? And I'm going to say my dream was to see Mexico.
My one dream. That would get us something.
You might be given a free cupcake at that point. That's really my goal in all of this. Yeah.
Make the employees feel so bad that they give me cupcakes. Well, I feel much better.
Yeah, I do too. I'm hoping I don't get seasick. Oh, we'll see. Lord, if she does, we're going to have actual Junkyard Mayhem to report next time.
I don't do well when I'm nauseous. We'll see. But I'm excited. All right, everyone. That was Junkyard Mayhem, episode 11.
If you enjoyed this podcast, please leave a review on whatever platform you are using.
You're doing a great job taking us out. Like us, star us, review us.
And? I'm getting bored. This is where we wrap it up nice and quick. Come on, Shane, give us a little tagline.
It is a junkyard out there, everyone. Put your life vest on because the ocean is in motion.
That doesn't bode well for me. The ocean is filled with garbage, which is sad but true.
Let's pick up the litter. Get out into that ocean. Clean it up.
Bring it to your nearest junkyard. Okay. Goodbye.