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Swipeupyouguys

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I typed out an entire recap and lost it twice.

Sophie must have cursed my cheap but previously very reliable phone. This might be a bit jumbled but here goes!






THREAD LIFT/NO SURGERY EVER AGAIN - EXCEPT FOR...
Sophie had a forehead thread lift to deal with sagging, tired, hooded or normal looking (?) eyes. It did not end well, something twanged across her cranium, lots of insta stories detailing acute pain and a callous brush off from the original clinic likely as she had already paid them. Sophie took her credit card off to another place where thankfully she had funds to have treatment there to break up the threads (via sonic waves? Unsure)
She had seen the light! A flurry of evangelical stories followed where she vowed never to bother with surgery again. Just botox and filler.

Fast forward to quarantine (before an important business trip) or quzza as newly New Zelander Sophie took to calling it and she was contemplating a forehead reduction surgery. A tummy tuck of the forehead so to speak, apparently it's a thing as many women want to reduce head space and save money on the amount of foundation they need. Sophie created a tikt0k that sort of went viral with portion of her head shaded in with eyeshadow.

THE GREAT CULL OF CASA DE TANGO
Sophie has been selling virtually everything she has ever bought (with a huge press discount) or been given for free by brands. Lots of new year new me talk, but could it just be that these things no longer fit???
Items that the majority of us would have washed and donated to a clothes bank appeared on her Instagram stories for close to the recommended retail value for her salivating fans to buy. Loyal subjects were instructed to pay promptly -this let's be real here, a total stranger- via PayPal friends and family so Sophie could avoid incurring 'silly and annoying fees' from paypal, and shoppers could rid themselves of the shackles of buyer protection or the possibility of a refund. Subject's were informed that things were lightly worn and just needed a wash, why she wasn't washing them prior to selling was neatly side stepped but determined to be too much effort inbetween binge watching And just like that and below deck marathons. Any proof of the sales occurring was swiftly removed from Instagram stories to remove evidence for those pesky HRMC trolls. That combined with the mammoth task of packing, labelling and then posting said items was quickly revealed to be way, way to much work for this little thirty one year old lady to undertake solo. Thus the bat signal was thrown up and Mother Milner raced down the motorway from the Midlands to undertake the grunt work.

Furniture that has also clearly seem better days was included in the mass cull. A tattler came forward to admit the had once bought a cardigan from a previous wardrobe clearout and it was as grotty, unwashed and poor quality as feared by the majority of us here. Was it fake tanned stained?

Gemma has disappeared and been replaced with uber privileged new social media mates, who seem to be planning to open some sort of virtual social media school.

Tango tits wants new smaller implants to give her a better silhouette and go make it easier to fit into clothes. Yes, that's the reason to have another general anesthetic and surgery. Not sure of Chanel do a range of monogrammed implants - anyone know.

Sophie informed her viewers she currently has no filler ls in her face aside from the smidgen under her eyes.
Natural is best, buy the gua sha with her code guys.

SOFA
Her free sofa needed reupholstering, not sure why after only a year or so. Tell us Sophie, is the quality shit and we should save our money? Is it covered in Henny's wee and fake tan stains?
Some idiot reached out and agreed to reupholster said ugly sofa.

HENNY
The yapping fluffball of joy has bad skin again, Sophie is aghast as it will limit his earning power and ruin her aesthetic. Hendrix ever so briefly became the main breadwinner in his new role as fluffy accessory.
He lives part time at her parents/ sister's home to enable Sophie to chase the D around Bali. Owner of said D Jimmy seems reluctant to revisit the glorious British Isles again after spending most of his last trip in lockdown at Sophie's filthy flat, being denied bread (she cannot have it in the flat) and nursing her through a 10k rhinoplasty.

BALI CHRISTMAS and NEW YEAR
Sophie and Jimmy went business class (to avoid the plebs ick) on a very, very important business trip for business people. Holidays were still (are still) not permitted by Indonesia in an attempt to control the covid 19 variants, but Sophie needed some sun, and Jimmy wasn't willing to waste more time at Casa da Tango tidying up and blowing on Hendrix's face. So, the business Bali trip for business people that she undertook over Christmas and New Year...that busy business time of year.
We saw her undertake the important business of getting her nails done, getting longer hair extensions sewn in, buying an open fronted visor for the moped and taking photos (this could be the business part of the trip but it's a hard sell)
Jimmy was struck down with a mystery illness. Sophie responded naturally by rushing out to buy emergency supplies of fake tan at a small local Bali establishment called Sephora.

Debuted her abdominal liposuction torso, now the proud owner of a six pack which sort of resembles a turtle's shell. Also an arse that looks like it has had something injected into it, but not a BBL. Sophie hates people asking, only fire emoji s are allowed under her showing it off.

Jimmy and Sophie then unfollowed one another on insta leading to speculation that this could be break up number nine. Perhaps falling victim to the Bali couples curse?

New bouji air b n b and they re-foĺlwed each other - phew. All is well with loves young (ish) dream.

NEW LOOK DOLLAR
Our girl scored an edit with new look by shilling a collection of their dead stock. A Great score for an influencer to be fair, and she marked the occasion by buying another identical Chanel bag. (SCREAMS in poor, they're not for the likes of you)
She hasn't actually worn her edit outside of the pr photos, but that's the way of Sophie. Not after a repeat deal I guess.

BACK TO THE BEACH
Sophie is planning to go back to chase D around Bali for a fortnight soon. She is concerned about her carbon footprint, it's just too small currently. Also made the statement that if she had a baby it would only be in Bali as its great for families.

⛳⛳⛳⛳⛳

Good luck with that one Jimmy, hope your back is up to the strain.
:rolleyes:


Oh, doesn't like being asked how to style items (ankle boots for short legs) in her self appointed role as a fashion influencer?

Go figure.
 
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Montana90

Active member
Maybe I'm an old frump but I think she's massively misjudging how much people care about Coachella
Made me laugh when she said last week that London was empty because everyone was at Coachella. No hun, it was probably because it was the fcking Easter Holidays for a lot of families 🙄 we don’t all live in this influencer bubble.
 
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Swipeupyouguys

VIP Member
No years ago, but I’m 5ft 5 and she was a lot smaller than me. It was a fashion event and she was deliberating over a size 6 and 8 jumpsuit I think. But for her frame and size now she probably is an 8/10. I’ve said before, I thought she looked gorgeous but was mostly natural back then. It’s a shame she’s messed with herself so much because of insecurity.
That makes sense, she does look very short online. Thanks for responding.

Sorry but I just would never describe her as having curves to be honest 😂. She has barely got a waist so it’s not like she has a tiny waist and big butt. She literally has bigger arms and thighs that doesn’t mean curvy in my eyes 🤔😂
This, 100%.
I feel like I'm being gaslit around her always banging on (AND ON) about how slim she is (size 8 guys, I'm an 8 ok, and these jeans are a waist 24 coz that's MY SIZE OK?) She looks fine, honestly she does and I doubt anyone here would state otherwise. She often shows herself in her underwear so it is easy to see her body and to know what she looks like. Even if that is with angles, filters and now what appears to be a drastic (unnecessary and with a botched navel) abdominal sculpt. She looks mid size to me - not slim or thin. Her arms, her back, neck, her legs, her butt all point to a mid size lady. Again, that's fine, however a tomato is not a banana, again both great, but they are different things. Slim build is different from mid size, Kendall is different from Kim - both are beautiful. The message she is peddling is a mid size isn't fine.

I mean come on, the fact she won't even buy a dress (her insta stories) that she wanted to shill from zara, because she would have to buy it in a large or extra large is very troubling and problematic. Who cares if you need an XL in that zara dress!? I have size XS through to size L items from Zara that both fit my current body, and no one asks me what size I am wearing, nor have any of the assistants ever tried to make me feel bad for asking them to grab me a different size when I am in the fitting room. The implication is that her viewers who are a L or XxL should feel bad or unworthy of copying her clothes or going to zara?

Buy the size that fits and feel a sense of relief that you have that option, to just walk in a shop and able to buy new clothes, just because you fancy them and to be able to find your size in a standard shop .

She is always whining and whinging! Of course her zara return clothes were stained and smelly - of course they were! This is woman who returned her skims 🤢 Does this woman ever clean anything? (No) her flat, the carpets, her sheets, clothes or her body - weeks old dried on fake tan, nails and hair extensions that are growing out, old lashes that don't get removed regularly etc. Even her own clothes are sent out to a professional service, her flat is given the once over by a cleaner and her poor dog isn't even walked or washed by her!

Has it crossed her mind that the possible reason the sales assistants aren't fan girling over her is because she is a huge snob who clearly looks down on people doing those jobs?! She reeks of snobbery and new money. No Chanel bag (that she uses as a weapon to convey she has some money) can camouflage that. If I saw her I'd assume they were fakes due to overall ✨vibe✨
 
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CloudMeringue

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View attachment 1591911
What a grotesquely self-obsessed girl she is.

Try looking outside your tiny world for a minute Sophie. History was being made yesterday- approximately 4 billion people watched the Queen’s funeral. She was too busy though sticking her tongue out at the camera, fawning over her yapping dog and talking about herself.

Even if she is a republican (and I suspect she isn’t really, she probably just wants to bandwagon for cool/woke points)- taking in an historical event- trying to put into perspective life, loss and what it means to be British would help her infinitely more with her mental health than hours & hours of therapy.

She has no respect, no perspective and no clue.
She is generally annoying and extremely self-obsessed but I'm not sure she should've put her life on hold because it's the Queen's funeral? I went about my day like usual and enjoyed a rare day off work, everyone I know on social media was just posting as usual.. I'm British and don't particularly care about the royal family either way, don't love or hate, but as long as she didn't post anything disrespectful I just don't quite get why people expect everyone to spend their bank holiday glued to the BBC funeral coverage, posting about loss or queueing for 15 hours to see her coffin. I can criticise her for a lot of things but not appropriately grieving the queen isn't one of them for me
 
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Sliceofpizza

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She’s such a messed up, truly messy, miserable & selfish self-absorbed person. She needs a life & fast. How can she be posting shite like this and warranting a deep discussion about herself 🙄as per usual. No wonder Jimmy left her, can you imagine listening to this twaddle all the day long. Wtf cares? Basic BORING Bitch.
 
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Blueblue123

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I don't think I'll ever get over how low she made her hairline. It looks disproportionate. And it makes her eyes look closer together because all her features are packed into one small area.
 
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4dominoes

Active member
I get the point being made but her new post video is cringe.
Yeah I agree completely tbh. Catcalling is obviously shit and shouldn’t happen and she should be able to wear whatever she wants and go about her life peacefully. However something about this video gave me full-body cringe.

I think the reason her feminism comes off as so inauthentic is because she is always at the centre of it. I’ve banged on before about how she is the queen of white feminism and isn’t intersectional but I think it’s winder than that and she just has no real interest in things that don’t directly impact her. She positions herself as this socially conscious woke influencer but I NEVER see her bringing the same energy for anti-racism or the cost of living crisis or climate change or anything else that doesn’t directly impact her day-to-day life as a pretty rich white girl. Catcalling is something that makes her life harder and therefore it’s an issue worth speaking about. It’s the same with how much she speaks up about toxic masculinity and body image and beauty standards. They’re HER biggest problem and therefore worthy of her platform and speaking out.

I really don’t think influencers need to be socially conscious or active on their platforms but it frustrates me that Sophie positions herself as someone who IS super woke and conscious but only ever pays token attention to other issues. It’s also hypocritical when she’s spoken about how she wants to be a landlord and invest in property, and gentrify/westernise Bali. Plus the knots she tied herself into with those mad sex worker rumour stories the other day were hilarious. Being a sex worker is obviously fine but her saying it’s misogynistic to assume a woman’s money comes from sex work is inherently anti-SWer as it implies that’s a bad thing? They’re independent women with their own businesses too Soph! Respect your fellow girl bosses.
 
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Jaybtee

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Confused about her stance on this as her style is ravenous crotch munching shorts and vests? Hardly cutting edge fashion
 
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fraudsandfakes

Active member
Forgetting anything else, can we please call out the utter irony? She literally lives in a shithole?! The place is lovely but yet is actually filthy. Bitch please ✋🏼

Hi by the way everyone 😂🫶🏻
 
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If someone came to my house and took pictures of everything to post it online I would see it as a major red flag and break up immediately. She basically invades his privacy. I hope he sees it.
 
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Hamburglar

VIP Member
Why’s she going on like she’s never been to a lads house before.

And putting up a series of photos of the inside of someone else’s home, bf or not, is weird. She is the red flag here 🚩
 
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Moonbaby09

VIP Member
Who else gets bad vibes from Jimmy? He seems lazy and a scrounger. Genuinely think he’s lying to her about wanting to make his own money
100%. The whole waiting for the operation thing aswel just doesn’t seem legit since he’s been able to surf like someone above mentioned. Not to mention he’s managed long haul flights to the uk while apparently unfit to work. Tinder swindler jimmy 😂
 
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frillylilly

Chatty Member
I enjoy debates and discussions and listen to lots of podcasts that talk about the issues Sophie does, but for some reason I can't bear it when she waffles on on her stories. Also funny how someone will raise a counterpoint and she'll go "this is a fair point" and then spend the next 23 stories showing evidence that disputes the counterpoint.
 
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