Someone give me a slap, I’m annoyed at this and I probably shouldn’t be

Apple In My Pie

VIP Member
I fancy this guy at uni. I have ever since I've been there. We don’t know eachother that well but we get on and he’s lovely. I don’t think I’d ever make a move. I’m rubbish at friendships and relationships and I’m nothing special. So I promise I’m not being weird and possessive. I just think he’s nice.

Start of the year I met up with friends who asked how university was going and I mentioned this guy...

found out that both friends had found him on my friendlist and decided to add him on Facebook. Fine, whatever.

I got a text from one of them a few weeks ago making out that they’d seen this guy when they‘d gone out and he’d invited them for a meal.

Mildly gutted but nothing I can do about it. Jokingly messaged back something about me seeing him at uni and asking him for my invite and they backtracked completely, ‘oh i didn’t mean him I meant so and so, I was just joking’. Nothing came of it so I’m assuming it was a stupid joke.

Just got a text from the friend again, saying that they’d been in touch with another boy I fancy (asked him out and he rejected me ☹) and want to meet up. I don’t know if they’re joking again.

I know it sounds so bloody childish and it IS but I just wish they wouldn’t message me and celebrate it. If they go out with people I fancy then they go out with people I fancy, I can’t stop them 🤷🏻‍♀️
The fact that they joked about it initially makes me feel off, as if they’re trying to make me jealous about it. And at the same time I just wish I could be... normal. I wish I could have a relationship and for someone to pay attention to me. It happened through school, boys used to ask me out as a joke, as if it was funny that someone could ever go out with me. It’s soul destroying.

i sort of feel like they’re rubbing it in my face and feel stupid for feeling like this in the first place. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I know there are bigger things to worry about ATM so feel free to hit me xD
 

Jelly Bean

VIP Member
Your friends don't sound like friends at all. Wtaf is wrong with them?
It reminds slightly of when I was in college. I had a friend who was far more outgoing than me (and looking back now loved putting me down all the time - often in front of other people). Anyway any time I mentioned I really liked a boy she would say a few days later, oh so casually, she had been talking to him and thought she might go out with him. This happened about three times. Twice she ended up going out with them briefly.
I look back now and think how bloody wierd. And your situation sounds the same. Why put so much energy and effort into trying to make your friend upset and jealous?
The only conclusion I ever came to was yes it is jealousy, but on their part. They are jealous of you and want to make you feel bad for some twisted reason because you threaten them in some way. And take everything they say with a very large pinch of salt. That first boy probably thinks they are complete dicks stalking him.
 

Apple In My Pie

VIP Member
Thank you everybody. I was really scared to check this in case I was in the wrong. As I said I’ve never really had friends other than these two so I don’t really know what goes and what doesn’t friendship wise (although I know that sounds like im a mug) I really appreciate it ❤ I cut contact with them a while ago cos I was just fed up of it, i just don’t think I’ll bother anymore anyway x
 

MummaB

Chatty Member
Thank you everybody. I was really scared to check this in case I was in the wrong. As I said I’ve never really had friends other than these two so I don’t really know what goes and what doesn’t friendship wise (although I know that sounds like im a mug) I really appreciate it ❤ I cut contact with them a while ago cos I was just fed up of it, i just don’t think I’ll bother anymore anyway x
I used to have a friend very similar to this when I was at school, she was tall, blonde with huge boobs, I was the absolute opposite. I was always the good friend and she always swooped in. We're now in our 30's I'm happily married with kids, she still floats from relationship to relationship, still lives at home with her parents and never seems happy!
 

lola_goss

Well-known member
They sound like 13 year olds, not young adults at university. Once, two of my school friends used one of their parents mobile phones and texted me pretending to be a boy I fancied asking me out :rolleyes: it was annoying then, but I can forgive them for being children (and the fact that I probably fancied another boy a few days later).

Sack of the guy, sack off the friends, move on and find some genuine friends. I know that's easier said than done but honestly you will be much better without people like this in your life. True friends build you up, support you, and in this situation would probably help you out with the guy you like - not pretend there's something going on between them instead, it's just mean.
 

Apple In My Pie

VIP Member
i do also wonder if it has something to do with their parents... when I went off to uni their dad was fuming with me and I mean proper spitting feathers because I was going to uni and “abandoning them”. He liked me up until I mentioned that and then his attitude totally changed, he kept saying that I was going to get better friends and forget about them and I suppose, planting the seed (to them) that I was the kind of person who would do that - if that makes sense? We went away one half term after that, to London. Big trip for me, eight hours of continuous walking, which is difficult... their response (and their dad’s!) was ‘well we shouldn’t have invited you, you shouldn’t have come if you were going to moan like this’ (‘moaning’ = asking to stop for a bit after the eight hours walking lol) - I cried.

Reading this back does make me wonder why I’m still friends with them tbh 😳 I just wish I made friends easier. I’m just so introverted and awkward 🤷🏻‍♀️
 

Youtubegossip

VIP Member
i do also wonder if it has something to do with their parents... when I went off to uni their dad was fuming with me and I mean proper spitting feathers because I was going to uni and “abandoning them”. He liked me up until I mentioned that and then his attitude totally changed, he kept saying that I was going to get better friends and forget about them and I suppose, planting the seed (to them) that I was the kind of person who would do that - if that makes sense? We went away one half term after that, to London. Big trip for me, eight hours of continuous walking, which is difficult... their response (and their dad’s!) was ‘well we shouldn’t have invited you, you shouldn’t have come if you were going to moan like this’ (‘moaning’ = asking to stop for a bit after the eight hours walking lol) - I cried.

Reading this back does make me wonder why I’m still friends with them tbh 😳 I just wish I made friends easier. I’m just so introverted and awkward 🤷🏻‍♀️
Try finding some clubs at uni of things your interested in and hopefully meet some like minded people
 

DevaVictrix

Well-known member
I fancy this guy at uni. I have ever since I've been there. We don’t know eachother that well but we get on and he’s lovely. I don’t think I’d ever make a move. I’m rubbish at friendships and relationships and I’m nothing special. So I promise I’m not being weird and possessive. I just think he’s nice.

Start of the year I met up with friends who asked how university was going and I mentioned this guy...

found out that both friends had found him on my friendlist and decided to add him on Facebook. Fine, whatever.

I got a text from one of them a few weeks ago making out that they’d seen this guy when they‘d gone out and he’d invited them for a meal.

Mildly gutted but nothing I can do about it. Jokingly messaged back something about me seeing him at uni and asking him for my invite and they backtracked completely, ‘oh i didn’t mean him I meant so and so, I was just joking’. Nothing came of it so I’m assuming it was a stupid joke.

Just got a text from the friend again, saying that they’d been in touch with another boy I fancy (asked him out and he rejected me ☹) and want to meet up. I don’t know if they’re joking again.

I know it sounds so bloody childish and it IS but I just wish they wouldn’t message me and celebrate it. If they go out with people I fancy then they go out with people I fancy, I can’t stop them 🤷🏻‍♀️
The fact that they joked about it initially makes me feel off, as if they’re trying to make me jealous about it. And at the same time I just wish I could be... normal. I wish I could have a relationship and for someone to pay attention to me. It happened through school, boys used to ask me out as a joke, as if it was funny that someone could ever go out with me. It’s soul destroying.

i sort of feel like they’re rubbing it in my face and feel stupid for feeling like this in the first place. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I know there are bigger things to worry about ATM so feel free to hit me xD
This is unpleasant and rather unkind, joke or not. I cba with this type of behaviour, personally. I feel that when people do it, no matter how much they pretend to be joking, there is always some kind of tiny underlying dig. I’m 31 now and married and have my first baby. But growing up I never really dated, no dates at all through uni. It just never happened for me and it got me down a lot. Around age 25 I put an add on POF, I wrote out exactly what I was like, on my profile, met a lot of very friendly guys online, and eventually dated one who turned out to be my husband. Don’t give up hope you never know what is around the corner.
 

twilightgarden

Chatty Member
I fancy this guy at uni. I have ever since I've been there. We don’t know eachother that well but we get on and he’s lovely. I don’t think I’d ever make a move. I’m rubbish at friendships and relationships and I’m nothing special. So I promise I’m not being weird and possessive. I just think he’s nice.

Start of the year I met up with friends who asked how university was going and I mentioned this guy...

found out that both friends had found him on my friendlist and decided to add him on Facebook. Fine, whatever.

I got a text from one of them a few weeks ago making out that they’d seen this guy when they‘d gone out and he’d invited them for a meal.

Mildly gutted but nothing I can do about it. Jokingly messaged back something about me seeing him at uni and asking him for my invite and they backtracked completely, ‘oh i didn’t mean him I meant so and so, I was just joking’. Nothing came of it so I’m assuming it was a stupid joke.

Just got a text from the friend again, saying that they’d been in touch with another boy I fancy (asked him out and he rejected me ☹) and want to meet up. I don’t know if they’re joking again.

I know it sounds so bloody childish and it IS but I just wish they wouldn’t message me and celebrate it. If they go out with people I fancy then they go out with people I fancy, I can’t stop them 🤷🏻‍♀️
The fact that they joked about it initially makes me feel off, as if they’re trying to make me jealous about it. And at the same time I just wish I could be... normal. I wish I could have a relationship and for someone to pay attention to me. It happened through school, boys used to ask me out as a joke, as if it was funny that someone could ever go out with me. It’s soul destroying.

i sort of feel like they’re rubbing it in my face and feel stupid for feeling like this in the first place. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I know there are bigger things to worry about ATM so feel free to hit me xD
Your friends need to get in the bin! Get yourself some friends that are actually nice and care about you.
 
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