Slow-paced living

[BearOnChair]

Oh thank you, that's very kind. I am very lucky to have two lovely children, great partner and nice home. Just feeling a bit sad a career I've invested almost half my life in hasn't worked out the way I'd expected. Out of all my friends, I'm the least successful which stings a little.

Thank you for being so lovely. Hope you're ok, too x

I've come to realise that having a "good" career isn't always about being traditionally successful.
In my old industry that came with too many late nights and time away from home. Successful for me has completely changed and I'm sure your friends see you as successful and want you to be happy.

I was in the same workplace for 12 years, ended up on management team but when I left I didn't get any thanks or even a leaving card. Despite the amount of sacrifices id made. I'd been through a very hard bereavement too so was in a dark place. All I kept thinking about was I can't stay here with these people who don't appreciate their family's or time outside of work.
I'm lucky to live in a great place with my children and husband but it took along time to feel good about myself again because it was a blow that I'd given that time to a company and colleagues who didn't care.

 

[smellsofbiscuits]

I was in the same workplace for 12 years, ended up on management team but when I left I didn't get any thanks or even a leaving card. Despite the amount of sacrifices id made. I'd been through a very hard bereavement too so was in a dark place. All I kept thinking about was I can't stay here with these people who don't appreciate their family's or time outside of work.
I'm lucky to live in a great place with my children and husband but it took along time to feel good about myself again because it was a blow that I'd given that time to a company and colleagues who didn't care.

That sounds horrendous. I'm so sorry that happened to you. They sound like a crappy place to work and you're well shot of there. How a workplace deals with bereavement is a massive indicator of the work culture (and a major red flag if they do a tit job). I hope the days are getting better for you.

There is a gross underestimation of the impact a negative working environment can have on you. I still have horrendous imposter syndrome from my first job and the work environment there. I queried the workload and was told that's just the way it was. Being young and naive I just accepted it and my confidence was utterly shattered. Now I'm the old crone that tells all the new starts not to make their job their life Fortunately that seems to a message that Gen Z are taking on board very fast.

 

[veryfondoftea]

Great thread! Last year, my husband and I made the decision to sell our 'insta-worthy' (but maxxed out mortgage wise!) home and get something cheaper. What this meant for us was that we can enjoy our lives a bit more, we have an allotment, we go on holidays (not luxurious ones, but still great holidays) and we both work only 3/4 days a week. I realise how very privileged we are and I feel grateful every day. I still feel the daily grind a bit though, we have got into the habit of after school activities for our 10 year old so it always seems like we are doing something but she seems to be either wanting to do organized activities or be in front of a screen with nothing in between at the moment so not sure what to do about that!

 

[Kim Mild]

I wasn't sure what to expect when I clicked on this thread but yes. For me , it's about being content and not chasing destination happiness. We don't need a new or premium version of something we already have.

It's not about lack of wanting more, it's probably about not needing to impress other people. It's ok to be satisfied.

 

[Sprezza]

Oh thank you, that's very kind. I am very lucky to have two lovely children, great partner and nice home. Just feeling a bit sad a career I've invested almost half my life in hasn't worked out the way I'd expected. Out of all my friends, I'm the least successful which stings a little.

Thank you for being so lovely. Hope you're ok, too x

I definitely relate to feeling unsuccessful and wanting to do something bigger with my life to impress the people around me, then feeling like a failure in their eyes for not achieving it. But as others have said that's not necessarily what we will find most fulfilling and the definition of success depends on the individual and their values

 

[Tired of this crap]

Great thread! Last year, my husband and I made the decision to sell our 'insta-worthy' (but maxxed out mortgage wise!) home and get something cheaper. What this meant for us was that we can enjoy our lives a bit more, we have an allotment, we go on holidays (not luxurious ones, but still great holidays) and we both work only 3/4 days a week. I realise how very privileged we are and I feel grateful every day. I still feel the daily grind a bit though, we have got into the habit of after school activities for our 10 year old so it always seems like we are doing something but she seems to be either wanting to do organized activities or be in front of a screen with nothing in between at the moment so not sure what to do about that!

relate a lot to this! I feel the daily grind, and struggle with my eldest child too. I love the idea of a free range childhood but in reality it’s so hard in 2023 Britain

 

[BearOnChair]

That sounds horrendous. I'm so sorry that happened to you. They sound like a crappy place to work and you're well shot of there. How a workplace deals with bereavement is a massive indicator of the work culture (and a major red flag if they do a tit job). I hope the days are getting better for you.

There is a gross underestimation of the impact a negative working environment can have on you. I still have horrendous imposter syndrome from my first job and the work environment there. I queried the workload and was told that's just the way it was. Being young and naive I just accepted it and my confidence was utterly shattered. Now I'm the old crone that tells all the new starts not to make their job their life Fortunately that seems to a message that Gen Z are taking on board very fast.

Yeah it was crappy, it's a very large multinational company so there's no excuses for it really.
I was the same with my apprentices before I left. I told them you owe this company nothing, go out and find a better deal and don't feel bad about it. If you died your job advert would be in the paper by the end of the week.
I'm a very motivational manager
---

. I love the idea of a free range childhood but in reality it’s so hard in 2023 Britain

My children are fairly young but we've started geo caching and they love it. Gets them outside on an adventure with a purpose.

 

[HSJ]

all my

I hope I’ve replied to this correctly. I think it depends on what you measure success on doesn’t it. Many of my friends are super successful in business (London / banks etc) and whilst I’m happy for them, I would not trade it for our live in a million years. A family and a safe nice home sounds like success to me xx