Sorry if this is very long and if I ramble. I have a lot of pent up frustration about this.
Also before I start I just want to be clear that I don’t condone any type of body shaming and I’m not saying one is worse that the other. I’m just giving my perspective.
Has anyone experienced this? I feel like a lot of people say that ‘skinny shaming’ doesn’t exist because being skinny isn’t negative but now of days people DO make being skinny a negative thing.
I am 26 and a size 4/6 (average height 5’4/5’5). I have quite wide hips, average thighs (with long legs) and a very small waste (around 22’). My top half is what makes my size so small, for some reason I just don’t have a lot of weight up there. My boobs are small, my arms are thin and very lanky (my brother is also very tall (over 6 foot and lanky - we must just have lanky genes). I do personally think that my shape is quite nice though, I definitely have a some what hourglass (not anything as exaggerated like Kim K lol but that’s not even real). I’ve been the same my whole life and people always told me I was too skinny. When I was younger it didn’t bother me.
However since I’ve been in my twenties it has gotten so much worse, particularly in my job. I work in health care on a ward with mostly other women. I am constantly ridiculed because of my weight (many of those doing it are old enough to be my mother!). One girl (similar age to me) was complementing my figure one day when one other colleague said ‘Oh no, you don’t want to be her size, she’s far too skinny’. Just for reference this woman is late early 50s and over weight, constantly dieting and watching what she eats (which she speaks openly about).
One day I was quickly eating a chocolate covered rice cake before the start of the shift, everyone in the room was acting like I was crazy for eating a rice cake (how are rice cakes weird?) at this point on of them said (in front of everyone) ‘yes but you have a problem with your eating, don’t you?’ I was so shocked! I obviously said I don’t, because I don’t and everyone in the room went silent and I could just sense that they were all thinking ‘you’re lying’.
On another occasion I had 5 colleagues standing over me when I was typing up my notes telling me to go for my break. Yes it was my break time but I just wanted to finish off my notes quickly otherwise I would have been very behind when I returned. They kept saying ‘come one, you can’t afford to miss a meal’, ‘you’re already skinny enough we don’t want you getting skinnier etc’. In that moment I actually started to get teary eyed because here I was, just trying to do my job to the absolute best of my ability and those women made me feel awful about myself. When I didn’t respond to them they walked away, except one (the same woman who said ‘oh no you don’t want to be her size’). She then said ‘come on, we need you to eat, this isn’t healthy for you to be like that, you are far too skinny’. At this point, I snapped. As I stood up to walk away I told her ‘It would not be okay for me to tell someone that they are over weight and could afford to skip a meal. So why is it okay for you to say those things to me?’ To which she replied ‘well it’s hardly the same thing’. How is it not? You have ridiculed me for my weight and made me feel awful about myself.
When I look at women I don’t see their weight nor do I comment. It’s not my place. I work in a career where we are supposed to empower and support women and yet they treat their own colleagues like that. The irony is, most of the people making comments actually are insecure about their weight for one reason or another and speak about it all the time. They are constantly on different diets, watching what they are eating, saying they have been ‘so bad’ etc. I have never once spoken about my weight, voiced that I’m ‘watching what I eat’ or anything like that. One of my colleagues who admits she is overweight once said to me ‘I would rather be my weight than be yours because you are far to skinny’. How is that not body shaming?!?
I feel like I actually have a very healthy relationship with food. I eat when hungry, listen to my body when I’m full. I do love snacks and junk food in the evening but I don’t over do it. I don’t ever make myself feel ‘bad’ for eating certain foods nor do I punish myself. I just keep a balance diet. If I over do it on something, no biggie. I feel like other people are pushing their own insecurities onto me and it’s working. I get home from work, take of my uniform and just look at myself and question if what they are saying it right. It makes me so angry because I have always lived my life feeling confident about my body and now other woman are trying to tear me down and it’s working! I look at myself and think, oh if my arms where just a little bigger, or my boobs a little bigger etc. I’m not going to let other people insecurities make me feel bad for they way I look. I eat how I eat and weigh what I weigh. I can’t change that (unless I start over eating and binging etc but that would actually be unhealthy).
My job also deals a lot with mental health and it’s so frustrating to me that people would accuse me of being anorexic in a room full of people. That is absolutely not how you speak to someone who you are ‘genuinely’ concerned about! That could actually be detrimental to their health. I also think about the other people in the room, what if they genuinely have an eating disorder of some kind and their comments to me could have a knock on effect on them.
I’m not really sure what my question is. I guess I’m just looking for opinions or experiences.
Also before I start I just want to be clear that I don’t condone any type of body shaming and I’m not saying one is worse that the other. I’m just giving my perspective.
Has anyone experienced this? I feel like a lot of people say that ‘skinny shaming’ doesn’t exist because being skinny isn’t negative but now of days people DO make being skinny a negative thing.
I am 26 and a size 4/6 (average height 5’4/5’5). I have quite wide hips, average thighs (with long legs) and a very small waste (around 22’). My top half is what makes my size so small, for some reason I just don’t have a lot of weight up there. My boobs are small, my arms are thin and very lanky (my brother is also very tall (over 6 foot and lanky - we must just have lanky genes). I do personally think that my shape is quite nice though, I definitely have a some what hourglass (not anything as exaggerated like Kim K lol but that’s not even real). I’ve been the same my whole life and people always told me I was too skinny. When I was younger it didn’t bother me.
However since I’ve been in my twenties it has gotten so much worse, particularly in my job. I work in health care on a ward with mostly other women. I am constantly ridiculed because of my weight (many of those doing it are old enough to be my mother!). One girl (similar age to me) was complementing my figure one day when one other colleague said ‘Oh no, you don’t want to be her size, she’s far too skinny’. Just for reference this woman is late early 50s and over weight, constantly dieting and watching what she eats (which she speaks openly about).
One day I was quickly eating a chocolate covered rice cake before the start of the shift, everyone in the room was acting like I was crazy for eating a rice cake (how are rice cakes weird?) at this point on of them said (in front of everyone) ‘yes but you have a problem with your eating, don’t you?’ I was so shocked! I obviously said I don’t, because I don’t and everyone in the room went silent and I could just sense that they were all thinking ‘you’re lying’.
On another occasion I had 5 colleagues standing over me when I was typing up my notes telling me to go for my break. Yes it was my break time but I just wanted to finish off my notes quickly otherwise I would have been very behind when I returned. They kept saying ‘come one, you can’t afford to miss a meal’, ‘you’re already skinny enough we don’t want you getting skinnier etc’. In that moment I actually started to get teary eyed because here I was, just trying to do my job to the absolute best of my ability and those women made me feel awful about myself. When I didn’t respond to them they walked away, except one (the same woman who said ‘oh no you don’t want to be her size’). She then said ‘come on, we need you to eat, this isn’t healthy for you to be like that, you are far too skinny’. At this point, I snapped. As I stood up to walk away I told her ‘It would not be okay for me to tell someone that they are over weight and could afford to skip a meal. So why is it okay for you to say those things to me?’ To which she replied ‘well it’s hardly the same thing’. How is it not? You have ridiculed me for my weight and made me feel awful about myself.
When I look at women I don’t see their weight nor do I comment. It’s not my place. I work in a career where we are supposed to empower and support women and yet they treat their own colleagues like that. The irony is, most of the people making comments actually are insecure about their weight for one reason or another and speak about it all the time. They are constantly on different diets, watching what they are eating, saying they have been ‘so bad’ etc. I have never once spoken about my weight, voiced that I’m ‘watching what I eat’ or anything like that. One of my colleagues who admits she is overweight once said to me ‘I would rather be my weight than be yours because you are far to skinny’. How is that not body shaming?!?
I feel like I actually have a very healthy relationship with food. I eat when hungry, listen to my body when I’m full. I do love snacks and junk food in the evening but I don’t over do it. I don’t ever make myself feel ‘bad’ for eating certain foods nor do I punish myself. I just keep a balance diet. If I over do it on something, no biggie. I feel like other people are pushing their own insecurities onto me and it’s working. I get home from work, take of my uniform and just look at myself and question if what they are saying it right. It makes me so angry because I have always lived my life feeling confident about my body and now other woman are trying to tear me down and it’s working! I look at myself and think, oh if my arms where just a little bigger, or my boobs a little bigger etc. I’m not going to let other people insecurities make me feel bad for they way I look. I eat how I eat and weigh what I weigh. I can’t change that (unless I start over eating and binging etc but that would actually be unhealthy).
My job also deals a lot with mental health and it’s so frustrating to me that people would accuse me of being anorexic in a room full of people. That is absolutely not how you speak to someone who you are ‘genuinely’ concerned about! That could actually be detrimental to their health. I also think about the other people in the room, what if they genuinely have an eating disorder of some kind and their comments to me could have a knock on effect on them.
I’m not really sure what my question is. I guess I’m just looking for opinions or experiences.