Siblings ...

New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
It’s widely said that our siblings are the people who influence how we are as people the most. Just wondering people’s stance on the this. I agree with it and definitely think your order of birth can have an effect on your personality!
 
Well I have no siblings, but have two kids. They are like chalk and cheese personality wise, but I wonder if that was to do with me being a young parent and being stricter with the oldest one, and a bit more relaxed with the second. Neither get on with the other so I doubt they influenced each other in the slightest! Interesting topic 🙂
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1
It’s widely said that our siblings are the people who influence how we are as people the most. Just wondering people’s stance on the this. I agree with it and definitely think your order of birth can have an effect on your personality!
Totally agree. I think your place in the family affects how you are treated by your parents, and by any other siblings. Influences how we behave with others, how much responsibility we take, and all our adult relationships, within or outwith family. It's not the only thing which has a bearing on our personalities, but it's very important.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 2
I'm not sure how good an example my family would be of this. My brother and I have a 9 year age gap so for a lot of things I feel like an only child. By the time I was heading to uni, he was just finishing primary school, things like that. I got married and he was still a teenager.

However, he and I do fit the stereotypes a bit. I was the much more sensible, serious kid by far - did well academically and worked hard to impress parents. I think this is also because I'm the oldest grandchild on both sides of my family too, so I was "setting the example" so to speak and often felt under pressure. My brother is much more laid back than me, more easy going - he likes to be the centre of attention whereas I do not. We were parented so differently too, my mum and dad were very strict with me versus how they were with him.
 
People usually assume I’m an only child, and then when I say I have a sibling they assume I’m the youngest. I’m not sure how to describe it (myself) but I guess I come across rather “soft”. I think this is often due to a cultural misinterpretation of the way I present myself - meek and mild, cute. Because I actually wouldn’t hesistate to jump across a room and knock out your teeth if you insulted my mum. [EDIT - my darling best friend said it’s my spoilt baby princess vibes]

I’m actually one of two, the big sister to my baby brother (well, he’s in his mid 30s now).
We’re one year and two months apart.

I’m also Asian so you’d assume that there was a lot of “you’re the big sister, do this” but there wasn’t. Admittedly we were both pretty spoilt growing up. Neither of us did any chores. I never cleaned a toilet until I got my own place. Steep learning curve! My parents are from a culture where children didn’t have chores (unless they couldn’t afford help) or get pocket money though, so I never knew I was “spoilt” until I was much older and heard stories from school friends.

I never did any cooking, apart from around 15 when I’d make tuna pasta and dye it blue, I found this fascinating for some reason. Around that age there was a bit of “make sure your brother eats the blue tuna pasta” but I think that was an age thing - for that short period of time the age difference was more noticeable (15 is old enough, 13 still a proper kid).

As well as our background, I think our personalities played a large part in how we we were treated. Someone mentioned being like chalk and cheese - and maybe this applies to me and my brother too at first glance. He’s really cool and collected, but I wonder if that’s because his big sister was/is extremely sensitive and had/has a lot of mental health issues, and I was diagnosed very young so “it” has always been apart of our lives. I don’t know how much my problems growing up affected him - but it must have at least removed the ability to depend on me for certain things (brother and parents alike). But as I said, we wouldn’t have had chores regardless.

One thing I did take responsibility for was official correspondence. English is our second language and so I had to take care of letters, bills, and phone calls (this was a long time ago, before email etc). That was a burden my brother didn’t have to deal with until I moved out (and he was an adult, 20, by then), whereas I was in primary school and trying to translate and use big words.

Apologies, I’ve gone off track! But I find it a fascinating question. And I love my brother so much. I’m so proud to be his sister. I was very book smart growing up and it took a lot of attention away from how clever and amazing my brother was. But I also grew up knowing he was my mother’s favourite because he was easier than me (she said it all the time) and when we were kids there was resentment there, as she was the primary caregiver (I was my dad’s favourite but he worked three jobs so when did I ever see him?

In conclusion....LOL I don’t know. I don’t think our birth order had an impact on our personalities. Judging from personalities my brother is definitely the big brother. But I can recognise that this isn’t common. I can see from my social group (and from people’s conception of us) that it is usually personality shaped by birth order.

I am extremely bossy though, that’s a stereotypical big sister trait right?
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: 2
I'm the youngest of 4. There's a 14 year age gap between me and my brother, 12 between my sister and 7 between my other sister. They all treat me like I'm a baby still and I'm 25 with my own home & a baby 😳 if I say I want alcohol when we're out they act shocked like im still 14
 
I've got one brother, 29, and I'm 25. He's really quiet, keeps things private and generally quite reserved. Around us he is anyway, he definitely loves a drink when he's with his mates. I'm quiet too, but not as quiet as him. I tend to be more open about things than he is. I don't drink at all. I am more independent than him. We get on really well. I definitely feel like my Mum favours him over me, but I guess that's a thing with Mums and their boys? I don't think our birth order affected that at all, I think Mums generally just tend to swoon over their boys more than they do their girls.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1
I'm the third of four. Big age gap between the two older and two younger kids, my brother and sister are over 14 years older than me, but younger sister is only a few years younger. My parents have been married and together the entire time, but us younger ones were for sure mistakes so 😂

I was always more like and closer to my brother, despite never really having lived with him since he was practically an adult when I was born and left to do an appreticeship. My sisters always 'ganged up' on me as a child, though I now have a much better relationship with the two of them but there were constant fights back in the day.

Favourites wise we all agree my sisters son has taken over everything, but thats pretty nice!
 
Certainly not in my case, like in that of another commenters, I am either mistakenly assumed an only child or a younger sibling. My brother is the youngest and the only boy of 3, we are all subsequent, born one after the after and all in our mid 30s. He is in a traditional younger sibling role, he is the softer spoken one, almost spoilt and has always retained an image of a "kept man" despite never actually having had a partner. He retained his annoying younger brother image in age, in the form of witty sarcasm. As kids though he often bore the brunt of me and my sister ganging up on him where he would then in turn be wrapped up in cotton wool by our mother. However there is an imbalance in me in my sister. She traditionally fits the middle wild child, was always dangling out of a tree, a tomboy, well liked and kookily cool. She also put up a pretty tough fight and as there is only a year between us, she somewhat took it upon herself to be my protector growing up. She also describes me as being like a moth like a flame to trouble and has often had to keep me away from it. I am the eldest and seem to "let it all hang out" where as my younger siblings are more private and reserved, despite knowing many people. I am also generous where as my siblings are ruthlessly selfish (my younger brother bordering on being a mizer).

When I was younger, our parents divorced, after my dad discovered our mother was having an affair. We were left with my dad bringing us up and he certainly had alot of misplaced anger over it. It was all directed at me as the eldest! I felt resented, hated and somewhat pushed out of the family home once of age. My younger sister and brother didn't feel this at all! But they haven't denied that they could see an unfairness in how I was treated back then and most possibly it was because I was the eldest.

We have relatively different lives, so it can also be difficult to compare us both. I am certainly more bossy but my sister is the only woman alive allowed to give me a good telling off. Like I say, I got married young, went onto having all four of my parents grandchildren, I valued having children over a career. My sister on the other hand is les, is also happily single, has a very good career and does not want any (human) children. But she does seem somewhat "older" than I.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: 1
Interesting topic. :)
I have 2 older sisters, 1 older brother and a younger sister.

My younger sister brings out a protective side in me that I have never felt for anyone else, despite the fact she is only 2 years younger. I definitely look up to my older sisters a lot and without knowing it they have influenced my life plans. We share different personality traits with each other (for example, my younger sister and I are both quite antisocial, my youngest sister and oldest sister are both teachers, my brother and second older sister are both quite scatty ). All 5 of us worry about everything!

And what makes this more interesting for me- my older siblings are my half siblings (same dad), my younger sister is my full sister, and I didn’t know my brother growing up. My youngest sister is the only one I have lived with.
The whole nature/nurture argument which ties into this fascinates me. I could discuss this all day!
 
I have an older (half) sister and a twin sister. My older sister is 7 years older though and lived with her mum rather than our family so I don't know how much of an impact her presence has had on the family "birth order"
 
I think I may be classed as an only or a younger, because I am really scatty! I've got several baby fathers, I've moved from home to home, been homeless, had a drug addiction, sectioned, a criminal, you name it.

My brother the youngest is really clean cut, put his head down at school, went to uni and is an accountant for a huge name. We are from a really deprived area, so it was a rarity at that time for a kid to graduate round there. Even though he is mid 30s he has never left home and I do know why!

My younger sister the middle child has an amazing, high flying job in the arts industry. She's really creative, she has this really overactive mind. Really sporty as well.

Both have these amazing careers. Then there is me. My dad sometimes does say I should have made something of myself being the oldest.