Should I end my relationship

[Pixipoppy]

I’m in such a horrible situation. I love my partner of 8 years so much, we’ve been through some amazing times together. We’re so in tune with each other, and on each other’s wavelength and he is honestly the most considerate and kind person I’ve ever known. He treats me so well and would never hurt me. I just don’t feel fulfilled anymore, I don’t fancy him - sometimes when we spend time together I just drift off and think “am I actually having a good time or am I forcing myself?”. If we do have sex it’s fine, but I don’t have any desire for it with him anymore. We argue more and more lately and I am starting to wonder whether I see a future like this. I’m not sure things will ever change? My moment of realisation was when I was looking at an Instagram post of someone who was engaged, and then thought about what I’d say if my partner proposed to me… and honestly I would say no I feel so torn because we have been so in love for so long, our lives are basically one. Then on the other hand we have no children, no pets, and we don’t share any real financial ties (other than a joint bank account). I’ve got part of me screaming “leave!” And the other part worried Im throwing away someone who treats me so well and will always put me first. He would be a great husband and father (if I decide to have kids one day).

Im also a lot older than when we met, I’m terrified that it’s just too late for me to meet someone else now. I also don’t want to be in a relationship with anyone else, what if they never match up to what me and my partner had

Is it normal to feel like this? Am I mad for wanting to throw away 8 years because I’m just “not feeling it”. I can’t imagine a life without him but I also can’t live the rest of my life wondering what if.

 

[Cack Slumrow]

Hi, if you are as in tune with each other as you say, he has probably felt you withdrawing.
I think you need to tell him how you are feeling and take it from there, with three things in mind.
One, that all relationships go through stages and the key is communication two that the world and her mother are feeling restless after the past year we have had! And three the grass is never greener for long, it gets as dry and dusty as the bit you have now.
Do what you can to revive it and if no can do, then you can leave knowing you tried. And you will have respected your partner and kept your self respect. Good luck!

 

[Peakyblinders]

Hi, I would personally say the grass is not greener and one day, no matter how far down the line it is, you will regret this. I was in a similar situation and thought the grass was greener… 5 years down the line I have never met a man that comes anywhere near to where he did and I realise I lost my soul mate and I will never ever get that back. If you were saying a lot of negative things about him etc I would say leave, go for it. But the excuse of you don’t know if you are “feeling it” anymore yet he treats you so well and puts you first etc. Believe it or not it is really hard to find nowadays.!!! Trust me! But at the end of the day only you know how you feel and on the other hand…. There is no point settling if you aren’t 100% happy because it also isn’t fair on him. X

 

[rainbowlemon]

Just some ideas to consider:

How long have you been feeling like this-was it like this before covid started?

Would you consider relationship counselling or individual so you could explore your feelings in more depth?

 

[Pixipoppy]

Just some ideas to consider:

How long have you been feeling like this-was it like this before covid started?

Would you consider relationship counselling or individual so you could explore your feelings in more depth?

There were times I felt like this before covid but it was very fleeting. It’s been about a year on and off where I’ve had serious concerns about our future together. We’ve both changed as people a lot since we got together and I just don’t know if we’re right for each other anymore. Possibly counselling, but then part of me just thinks I’m pouring more time into something that’s already dead. I don’t know anymore.

 

[Cack Slumrow]

There were times I felt like this before covid but it was very fleeting. It’s been about a year on and off where I’ve had serious concerns about our future together. We’ve both changed as people a lot since we got together and I just don’t know if we’re right for each other anymore. Possibly counselling, but then part of me just thinks I’m pouring more time into something that’s already dead. I don’t know anymore.

My husband has always said "if you don't know, you do and it's no"
You really do need to talk to him though, he may even be feeling the same.

If the thought of him feeling the same panics or relieves you, that will tell you something.
Indifference would suggest you are feeling a bit meh about life in general and your relationship is the one thing you feel you have the power to change at the moment , so are concentrating on that.