Sex in marriage

[BettyCrockerr]

He just says he has nothing to say about it anymore. Basically I’m meant to wait for him to make his decision, he won’t leave because he doesn’t not want to see the kids and he will have lost everything. I think deep down he knows if he leaves that’s it he won’t come back.

I tried again last night but he got angry and said I’ve told you I need time. And yes that’s what he expects it’s such a mindfuck as it makes me thinks everything is normal



thank you He says he needs time to work it all out, deep down I think he’s just scared to admit it is over.
I’m so confused

Can you leave??? I know you shouldn’t have to but can you take a few days away with the kids??

he’s being completely unreasonable here. He sounds like an absolute prick to be completely honest.

 

[Jojoo]

Can you leave??? I know you shouldn’t have to but can you take a few days away with the kids??

he’s being completely unreasonable here. He sounds like an absolute prick to be completely honest.

I was going to go down to a holiday flat my parents have for a few days this week actually to get away with them but my sons got covid. I’m going to go next week instead if I stay negative too

thank you I think I needed To hear that, he is isn’t he.

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I was going to go down to a holiday flat my parents have for a few days this week actually to get away with them but my sons got covid. I’m going to go next week instead if I stay negative too

thank you I think I needed To hear that, he is isn’t he.

Yes. He is.
Can you confide in anyone in your real life about what’s happening? I think you need some real world support with this, you don’t need to keep it a secret - but you do need a support network.

 

[Jojoo]

Yes. He is.
Can you confide in anyone in your real life about what’s happening? I think you need some real world support with this, you don’t need to keep it a secret - but you do need a support network.

I spoke to my sister in law, I rung her a couple of weeks ago in the height of an argument to come pick him up but he rung her back and said he was fine. She told me she will speak to him but she hasn’t now I feel awkward about it all. She thinks he’s having a breakdown.

i would talk to my parents normally but they’ve got health issues and this is the last thing they need as they are worriers too. I don’t really have friends not ones I could talk to this about.

im so screwed aren’t i

 

[justheretoread99]

I spoke to my sister in law, I rung her a couple of weeks ago in the height of an argument to come pick him up but he rung her back and said he was fine. She told me she will speak to him but she hasn’t now I feel awkward about it all. She thinks he’s having a breakdown.

i would talk to my parents normally but they’ve got health issues and this is the last thing they need as they are worriers too. I don’t really have friends not ones I could talk to this about.

im so screwed aren’t i

I didn’t want to read and not post.
Firstly, I hope you and children are ok in regards to covid.
You’re not screwed & please don’t feel awkward. How have things been today?

I know you’ve said your parents are worriers but please confide in them. I’m sure they’d rather you tell them how you’re feeling then bottling it all in. Keeping things to yourself can get too much sometimes.

He might well be having a breakdown but he needs to be clear to you about his feelings and intentions going forwards, this can’t last forever you deserve some honesty from him.

Sending you love

 

[Jojoo]

I didn’t want to read and not post.
Firstly, I hope you and children are ok in regards to covid.
You’re not screwed & please don’t feel awkward. How have things been today?

I know you’ve said your parents are worriers but please confide in them. I’m sure they’d rather you tell them how you’re feeling then bottling it all in. Keeping things to yourself can get too much sometimes.

He might well be having a breakdown but he needs to be clear to you about his feelings and intentions going forwards, this can’t last forever you deserve some honesty from him.

Sending you love

Thank you, they are fine luckily just a cold.
Bad I think he’s actually leaving today.
We both agreed we can’t keep on like this. He isn’t even trying he’s given up so what’s the point?!

I feel so broken

Thank you, they are fine luckily just a cold.
Bad I think he’s actually leaving today.
We both agreed we can’t keep on like this. He isn’t even trying he’s given up so what’s the point?!

I feel so broken

Just wanted to add, the last couple of nights when we’ve gone to bed we’ve been playing puzzles together on our phone. It’s been fun just simple but we were laughing and it made us both forget everything. 2/3am we were talking and he said that he loved it but that’s all he can give right now. That’s his ‘trying’ and ‘making a go of it’ is that enough? Am I being unreasonable that it doesn’t feel like trying

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Thank you, they are fine luckily just a cold.
Bad I think he’s actually leaving today.
We both agreed we can’t keep on like this. He isn’t even trying he’s given up so what’s the point?!

I feel so broken


Just wanted to add, the last couple of nights when we’ve gone to bed we’ve been playing puzzles together on our phone. It’s been fun just simple but we were laughing and it made us both forget everything. 2/3am we were talking and he said that he loved it but that’s all he can give right now. That’s his ‘trying’ and ‘making a go of it’ is that enough? Am I being unreasonable that it doesn’t feel like trying

Playing puzzles on your phones together is really not going to cut it.

I’ve just read your posts on the other forum regarding you feeling like you need to make yourself “more attractive” to him….

He needs to leave. He’s being awful to you - maybe he’s got depression, who knows, but you cannot carry on like this. He needs to leave and get himself sorted out. This is not how it’s meant to be - you deserve so much more than what you are getting and none of this is your fault. The fact that he’s told you he doesn’t find you attractive anymore is cruel, hurtful and is his way of deflecting everything onto you - to make you think that you are the issue so that he can do nothing and put all the responsibilities at your door. No. He’s got the problem here.

 

[trancejunkie]

Can you leave??? I know you shouldn’t have to but can you take a few days away with the kids??

he’s being completely unreasonable here. He sounds like an absolute prick to be completely honest.

Fantastic advice.

You and your kids deserve better than this.

I'm a fan of the whole "you get what you settle for" - are you prepared to settle for a sexless marriage with this guy? What positives do you get out of the relationship? I wouldn't even want to be having sex with such a prick - he doesn't deserve you at all!