veronica71
VIP Member
If infuriates me that they let it get so bad before the will do anything when the damage then has to be undone which takes more work than providing the correct support to begin with
- Notice
My son is 14 and just gone into year 10. Hasnt done a full week since Easter and it was only this week the school admitted they could never meet his needs! I requested an emergency review to change placement so he can go to a smaller setting back in May, for the then SENCO to retire, and no one get in touch with me until 2nd week of back to school (September) and also tell me it will take so long, he probably won't get a new setting until mid year 11.... FUMING! My son has been struggling for years but because his attendance was fine (at a push) and because he doesnt have behavioural issues, no one batted an eyelid - its only now that he wont go in - everyone seems to give a shit!
My oldest son is so incredibly fussy due to his sensory needs and i was the same as you. Worried he wasnt eating enough. His paediatrician said to just feed him what he likes (the beige diet) and if hes hungry, feed him. My son lost weight and got quite thin because of it, so id ask if he was hungry and I'd make him food. I'm not sure if your son is verbal or non-verbal? Do you use social stories? Does he feel hunger?
Yes I can totally believe that, there aren't many in our area either so id imagine the wait would be very long. A parent of a child in my daughters class who is non verbal was telling me the other day how she's having to go to court next week to get her son into a SEN school which he so desperately needs.
We are very lucky our mainstream school has a special SEN class with specialised teachers and extra support, everyone has been fantastic at the school and I can tell they really understand autism and genuinely care which from what ive heard from others is quite rare. However my daughter is still struggling terribly and I just think any school environment isn't going to work for her, honestly I'm willing to try anything for her to be happy
I did this with my oldest as a last resort but he actually likes learning.I've lost count of the amount of times I've cried at meetings, school drop offs ect sometimes they just stand and look at me like I've got 3 heads
My daughter was suspended for 2.5 days yesterday for lashing out at her 1:1 and another kid in the class. I burst into tears on the playground
Has anyone just deregistered and homeschooled instead? I'm starting to think any school environment at all is just not suitable for my daughter
I actually had a meeting today about my youngest and she said that the wait for SEN schools are through the roof because demand is so high. She said we could be waiting a very long time and that mainstream schools are trying to be more inclusive because of it...
Rocknrolla
Well-known member
My child has just gone in to year 5 and has only been invited to one birthday party the whole duration of primary school. It’s tough x
I'm not confident in my ability to homeschool her to be honest but I'd rather try to save her mental health than keep forcing her in when it causes her so much distress. I'm lucky that I work from home and only mornings so it's definitely doable for us. We don't have any primary near us however one is being built just down the road from us but won't open u til 2026 so that is an option for the future.
The difference in her when she's home is unbelievable. School sent us some work to do and she's done it happily, she even read to me out loud which is something she has refused to do for anyone for over 2 years
veronica71
VIP Member
oh that definitely sounds doable ….mine won’t do anything at home and are definitely learn more at school than at home there’s just.
The difference in her when she's home is unbelievable. School sent us some work to do and she's done it happily, she even read to me out loud which is something she has refused to do for anyone for over 2 years
not sure this message has got to them all yet
Reality_tv_lover
VIP Member
He is verbal but he says yes to everything
Maybe do small portion meals throughout the day. so instead of breakfast, lunch, dinner as big main meals, have smaller ones more often?He is verbal but he says yes to everything
veronica71
VIP Member
Glad to have found this thread... My 7 year old daughter awaiting ASD assessment has really struggled with getting back into school after the summer hols and it's been awfulshe had been doing so well just before they broke up after being moced into the SEN class from mainstream and being very close to premenemt exclusion. Then the summer hols came and everything went backwards.
I work from home so I bear the brunt of it all, all the terrible drop offs where she's kicking and screaming to get back out the class, all the phone calls from school because she's gone into meltdown and they can't calm her, all the suspensions from school for lashing out, all the meetings all the EHCP emails and forms. My metal health has really taken a kicking over the last 2 years, Not to mention my daughter who is struggling so much and we are doing everything we can to help me get what she needswe are fighting against a broken system and it's so draining
sending you so much love - it is relentless and the system is totally broken because reading your story I should be surprised that its all so hard but its a story I hear daily from all the SEN parents I know - the system really is broken. And I've realised this week we are damned if we do and damned if we don't as SEN parents - if I get my child in and she has a good day then they think all the fuss I make about her anxiety and exhaustion is made up but if I don't get her in then its my parenting. It would be nice if people recognised the amount of holding things together us mums do - and some dads but its usually mums. Womans hour did a good programme last week about it so maybe its starting to be noticed. I hope you're week goes ok - it is still early days in the new term - I always joke we have about two good weeks in March once shes settled back in before we starting thinking about new teachers - so i'm looking forward to those!
Reality_tv_lover
VIP Member
Hello I'm so pleAsed to found this thread my five year old was diagnosed with autism last year and is at a specialist school but since starting this year his behaviour is so much worse mostly eating and because we don't know how much he eats at school we don't know if he is eating enough
veronica71
VIP Member
yep - I have to say I've only seen clips cos its all a bit raw but totally knew where she was coming from.
veronica71
VIP Member
Met the new head of our primary school today and promptly cried at her and now feel a twat. She was very nice but crying whenever there is any conflict/emotional situation has always been a huge issue of mine 
veronica71
VIP Member
It's just mean and I'm so sorry for your kid <3
Rocknrolla
Well-known member
I really feel for you both, it’s so unfair how everything is a struggle and a fight. The school system isn’t set up for neurodiverse children, which is wrong in itself. I’m dreading mine going to high school
veronica71
VIP Member
This is why I love talking to other SEN parents - the 'yep been there' is worth the weight in gold <3 I was known as the crier in my sons reception year but partly because neither child slept at that time as well as the stress. Now its the joy of perimenopause mixed with stress and sheer frustration.
Sorry your daughter is having rough time. I've not homeschooled - I would love to but its just not for us but I do think mainstream is really hard for our kids. Do you have any specialist schools near you?
Sorry your daughter is having rough time. I've not homeschooled - I would love to but its just not for us but I do think mainstream is really hard for our kids. Do you have any specialist schools near you?
Glad to have found this thread... My 7 year old daughter awaiting ASD assessment has really struggled with getting back into school after the summer hols and it's been awful she had been doing so well just before they broke up after being moced into the SEN class from mainstream and being very close to premenemt exclusion. Then the summer hols came and everything went backwards.
I work from home so I bear the brunt of it all, all the terrible drop offs where she's kicking and screaming to get back out the class, all the phone calls from school because she's gone into meltdown and they can't calm her, all the suspensions from school for lashing out, all the meetings all the EHCP emails and forms. My metal health has really taken a kicking over the last 2 years, Not to mention my daughter who is struggling so much and we are doing everything we can to help me get what she needs we are fighting against a broken system and it's so draining
she had been doing so well just before they broke up after being moced into the SEN class from mainstream and being very close to premenemt exclusion. Then the summer hols came and everything went backwards. I work from home so I bear the brunt of it all, all the terrible drop offs where she's kicking and screaming to get back out the class, all the phone calls from school because she's gone into meltdown and they can't calm her, all the suspensions from school for lashing out, all the meetings all the EHCP emails and forms. My metal health has really taken a kicking over the last 2 years, Not to mention my daughter who is struggling so much and we are doing everything we can to help me get what she needs
we are fighting against a broken system and it's so draining
Bingie
Active member
I’m not sure there are many such options at primary level but we moved my 12yo to an online school last Easter and it has been transformational. Lockdown learning was a disaster but this is completely different. She’s really motivated and happy (and relieved!) to be learning. The downside is the social side of things (or lack thereof) but in all other respects it’s been really positive.
I think because you just want the best for your child and when you're frustrated yet passionate it can be hard to convey that without getting upset.Met the new head of our primary school today and promptly cried at her and now feel a twat. She was very nice but crying whenever there is any conflict/emotional situation has always been a huge issue of mine