- Notice
Secretsoughtout
Active member
I thought this was a thread slagging off everyday normal mums 
GossipMongoose
VIP Member
Well she is a ‘single mum’ in that she is a mum who is single. She is not in a romantic relationship and has children. Their father, her ex, stepping up and parenting his kids 50% of the time (as arguably he should) does not detract from her status as their mother or a single woman. Though obviously yes, it does reduce her parenting burden 50% of the time (or however often he has them) and no, not every parent (single or otherwise) gets that. But it’s not a race to the bottom, who can be the biggest parenting martyr. Surely we should be encouraging fathers to take equal responsibility for custody, post split rather than nitpicking women over definitions?
I get that a lot of this stuff has come about with Helen specifically because she sort of made herself the poster girl for single parents when she separated. She’s kind of dug her own hole by talking about it all the time etc and failing to acknowledge that she was in a privileged position with a secure home in a nice area, a flexible job, a present ex and lots of other support around her.
As for ‘monetising the divorce’ we have no idea what went on. They were married a long time, financial negotiations in divorces are complex. He may well have signed the house over to her in exchange for her not being able to access his pension funds or other asset, or she may only be able to live there until the youngest turns 18, or she may have bought him out of his share.
I know this post makes me sound like a Helen fan but honestly, sometimes the posts on these threads are reaching beyond reality.
I get that a lot of this stuff has come about with Helen specifically because she sort of made herself the poster girl for single parents when she separated. She’s kind of dug her own hole by talking about it all the time etc and failing to acknowledge that she was in a privileged position with a secure home in a nice area, a flexible job, a present ex and lots of other support around her.
As for ‘monetising the divorce’ we have no idea what went on. They were married a long time, financial negotiations in divorces are complex. He may well have signed the house over to her in exchange for her not being able to access his pension funds or other asset, or she may only be able to live there until the youngest turns 18, or she may have bought him out of his share.
I know this post makes me sound like a Helen fan but honestly, sometimes the posts on these threads are reaching beyond reality.
She. Is. Not. A. Single. Mum. She’s single. She is a co-parent. I hate this all “single mum” stuff, which I find an insult to actual single parents who do everything themselves with no support, no entire weekends holidays weeks without their children when they can train for their marathons. She’s a very privileged single woman who shares responsibilities for her children with her ex.
Exactly. I’m not a fascist but drag is hypersexualised parody of female stereotypes (with origins in porn). It’s adult ‘entertainment’ that punches down on women, who are the butt of the joke - and none of it has any place around children. Who benefits from drag queens reading to children? My strong sense is that it’s not the children.
---
Although I’m not surprised that the Scums have come out fighting for men’s right to perform
Drag in front of children.
Handmaidens that they are, their whole act is basically based on internalised misogyny.
To
To be fair, the husband could’ve fucking sorted it out himself if he was that bothered.
rogueapostrophe
VIP Member
She's nothing like the average single mother. She doesn't have any daily work commitments like going to an office or workplace, she has a supportive co-parent who has the kids for 2 weeks a time as she has just mentioned, she's gifted endless outfits and she goes on holiday multiple times a year during term time. If anyone is reading her book looking for advice or thinking she represents single mothers then they are truly looking in the wrong place.
rogueapostrophe
VIP Member
It would be something like this:
“G’day from New York. This single mama did A Hard Thing and ran the NY marathon. I know it makes me sound like such a running dork but running away from my kids has been life-changing. Here I am during term time with My Gorgeous Mystery Man (who absolutely doesn’t have a face like a smacked arse). Here’s to all the Divorced Mums that are single-handedly raising their kids and absolutely exhausted. You too could be nothing like me if you tried harder.
I’m homeward bound to a massive and inexplicable pile of washing. See you all on the other side!”
“G’day from New York. This single mama did A Hard Thing and ran the NY marathon. I know it makes me sound like such a running dork but running away from my kids has been life-changing. Here I am during term time with My Gorgeous Mystery Man (who absolutely doesn’t have a face like a smacked arse). Here’s to all the Divorced Mums that are single-handedly raising their kids and absolutely exhausted. You too could be nothing like me if you tried harder.
I’m homeward bound to a massive and inexplicable pile of washing. See you all on the other side!”
Affiliatemebaby
VIP Member
I have seen some excellent drag acts in the past done by talented and witty men with great voices. I’ve also seen lazy half-baked ones with misogynistic drag names who seem to think the whole thing is about dressing up rather than performing. Over the years I’ve come to feel more resentful about the caricature of ‘women’ that the current drag craze seems to be.
I see the Scummy Mummies are arguing that the act is moderated for children so not sexually explicit. To an extent I can accept that, assuming the drag queen in question is dressed appropriately and doesn’t have some horrible name like Anna Bortion, but I’m also not sure I really agree that kids really need to be exposed to drag for diversity reasons.
The panto dames thing is also a false analogy to me. Panto dames are about madly over the top outfits - usually NOT sexual in nature - and double entendres that tend to be about the dame’s lack of success with men. If anything, it’s a fairly offensive depiction of post-menopausal women, but good dames are FUNNY (like good drag queens) to offset that.
I don’t think it’s as clear cut as they make out - so many nuances. But we’re not allowed any shades of grey now are we?
I see the Scummy Mummies are arguing that the act is moderated for children so not sexually explicit. To an extent I can accept that, assuming the drag queen in question is dressed appropriately and doesn’t have some horrible name like Anna Bortion, but I’m also not sure I really agree that kids really need to be exposed to drag for diversity reasons.
The panto dames thing is also a false analogy to me. Panto dames are about madly over the top outfits - usually NOT sexual in nature - and double entendres that tend to be about the dame’s lack of success with men. If anything, it’s a fairly offensive depiction of post-menopausal women, but good dames are FUNNY (like good drag queens) to offset that.
I don’t think it’s as clear cut as they make out - so many nuances. But we’re not allowed any shades of grey now are we?
Smell_my_cheese
Well-known member
I’ve always quite liked Helen but i’m finding her single parent thing so unrelatable. It’s not her fault I suppose, I’m just jealous she gets to jet off constantly on single parent holidays to ‘recharge’ before going on holiday with her children and mates when I’m also a single mum with a completely unsupportive ‘other parent’ who will have spent the sum total of 3 days with his children by the end of this summer holiday.
Also, where does she get all the money to constantly be going away?!
Again, that’s not Helen’s fault but it’s a bit of a smack in the face when she’s extolling how wonderful it is to be a single mum when in reality, for many of us, it is hard and relentless with very little/no chance to recharge. But I think I’m probably just bitter and jealous
Also, where does she get all the money to constantly be going away?!
Again, that’s not Helen’s fault but it’s a bit of a smack in the face when she’s extolling how wonderful it is to be a single mum when in reality, for many of us, it is hard and relentless with very little/no chance to recharge. But I think I’m probably just bitter and jealous
Bubblemamaa22
Chatty Member
Oh my god the lollipop head selfies. We get it Helen, you're thin now.
You don't have to make your body shape your whole personality. It's just honestly not that interesting.
You don't have to make your body shape your whole personality. It's just honestly not that interesting.
hattie20
VIP Member
They can fuck off. All the wide eyed nonsense, “what’s wrong with it?” and labelling everyone who doesn’t agree with them a fascist.Ffs why would you waste your time going to a protest of a protest? Why do drag queens want to read to kids in libraries? Are drag queens a gender now? No they’re not. They are adult entertainment and have nothing to do with kids. According to the SM being against it makes you a facist!idiots.
Ironic that they are the ones shutting down comments and telling people they are wrong.
GossipMongoose
VIP Member
Playing devil’s advocate, I honestly some of this is a semantics and perhaps a generational and/or cultural thing. “Single mum/dad/parent” was the general term for all parents without a partner for years, regardless of whether they were divorced, separated or the other parent had never been involved. “Co-parent” is a fairly new term being used to describe the shared care arrangements between separated parents and old duffers like me (and maybe Helen) haven’t moved over to the new lingo yet.
That said, I do understand re the relatability to the average single (or co-parenting) mum. She has older, more independent children, what looks like a flexible job with good income and an ex who pulls his weight, plus a load of freebies, perks and ego boosting adoration from her IG account. Not representative and feels like an insult when she’s pulling a face and doing the whole “I don’t know how we do it, girls”.
That said, I do understand re the relatability to the average single (or co-parenting) mum. She has older, more independent children, what looks like a flexible job with good income and an ex who pulls his weight, plus a load of freebies, perks and ego boosting adoration from her IG account. Not representative and feels like an insult when she’s pulling a face and doing the whole “I don’t know how we do it, girls”.
Affiliatemebaby
VIP Member
I was surprised she only made 10k. It’s not a lot with the rich friends and the Instagram account.
She is now so unrelatable to the average stressed out knackered parent. The reason most of us behave in scummy ways (and I’ve seen the shows and related to a lot of the things audience members confess to) is a lack of energy/time/money. I’d absolutely love to have the time to get fit, the mental space to eat really well, the social circle to go out and have fun. Still banging on the scummy drum just leaves me wondering WHY she hasn’t had time to wash up/do laundry/cook decent food.
As it is I have a full time job and kids whose extra curricular activities take up 80% of my ‘spare’ time. I last made it to the gym a month ago, not for lack of wanting to. I am overweight and know it, but what I look like and my own health are bottom of the list.
She is now so unrelatable to the average stressed out knackered parent. The reason most of us behave in scummy ways (and I’ve seen the shows and related to a lot of the things audience members confess to) is a lack of energy/time/money. I’d absolutely love to have the time to get fit, the mental space to eat really well, the social circle to go out and have fun. Still banging on the scummy drum just leaves me wondering WHY she hasn’t had time to wash up/do laundry/cook decent food.
As it is I have a full time job and kids whose extra curricular activities take up 80% of my ‘spare’ time. I last made it to the gym a month ago, not for lack of wanting to. I am overweight and know it, but what I look like and my own health are bottom of the list.
rogueapostrophe
VIP Member
We'd all be skinny if we had a free personal trainer, nutritionist and running coach - plus umpteen hours of child-free time every week to run for miles and miles
I’m sure Helen is a nice person but she represents everything I hate about the mummy influencers, all so fake and contrived. She’s obvs NOT divorced and happy and NOT a size 18 but yet gets publishing deals and ads about both. It’s disingenuous. People who are truly happy get on with their lives without the need to tell the world how happy they are.
maytoseptember
VIP Member
Drag Race is the problem.
I used to watch Drag Race and find it really entertaining. There was an undercurrent of misogyny sometimes but I tried to ignore it. Eventually thought I had to stop watching. Not only is the franchise overdone and tired, I just couldn’t pretend I was OK with these men going beyond make up and hip pads and actually having BBLs and tons of lip filler to emulate a completely pornified idea of what it is to be a woman.
I don’t see why drag queens reading to children has to be thing either. What is it supposed to achieve? And if drag queens need to teach children lessons about being liberal, why not get in some women from strip clubs? They have sparkly costumes too
Ffs why would you waste your time going to a protest of a protest? Why do drag queens want to read to kids in libraries? Are drag queens a gender now? No they’re not. They are adult entertainment and have nothing to do with kids. According to the SM being against it makes you a facist! idiots.
idiots.
rogueapostrophe
VIP Member
She’s the first woman ever to get cheated on and to have gone through divorce. She is a pioneer of single mothers and women’s rights.