This latest update suggests to me F was trying to do things right by Star, but would be overpowered at times by SB. Why would F say “she's mine too and I'll do with her what I want to do. I'm a lot softer with her” if she was as strict (abusive) as SB?
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I know, I meant to be tongue in cheek but its hard to convey on a forum.
I initially had thought that it was due to traveller traditions...Why did SB hate this baby so much? Even when she wasn't there she wanted to make sure she was miserable.. So much for loving her so much because she was born on her mums birthday
When a traveller dies, the family get rid and burn all connections. I maybe thought that SB saw Star as a connection and perhaps a bad omen.
This is so horrible to read. I’m glad I don’t have to watch the videos. Poor Star.
I can totally see where you're coming from with that. It just doesn't make sense to me, she was so good with other kids supposedly but she really set out to make this poor baby's life a total misery
It’s hard to fathom. When she was alone with her, I have no idea what would drive a person to do that to a baby. When she wasn’t there I think it was just all about controlling FS.Why did SB hate this baby so much? Even when she wasn't there she wanted to make sure she was miserable.. So much for loving her so much because she was born on her mums birthday
There’s something wrong with her.
Why didnt this baby ever seems to be in a pushchair
Interesting in the txt message exchange just read out when FS said to SB she’s mine too, I’m softer than you & SB says & that’s when she starts to go wrong! 
Obviously at 14 / 15 months star wouldn’t yet know right from wrong, but and it’s purely just me speculating out loud here, I wonder if star had taken a toy or food off one of SB’s niece / nephew & SB has seen red believing in her eyes star has done wrong to her blood relative & she’s lashed out in a fit of rage with catastrophic consequences.
Obviously at 14 / 15 months star wouldn’t yet know right from wrong, but and it’s purely just me speculating out loud here, I wonder if star had taken a toy or food off one of SB’s niece / nephew & SB has seen red believing in her eyes star has done wrong to her blood relative & she’s lashed out in a fit of rage with catastrophic consequences.
Because SB wanted her to walk (if FS testimony is to be believed).
i thought that too, maybe she saw her as a sign from her mum as they had the same birthday, maybe that rage came from her mum not being alive or something
Aside from the extreme cruelty and need to be controlling there were some other elements to S’s behavlour which wouldn’t necessarily have been the worst in a better person.
She finished her formal education at 10 but from the evidence appears to have enjoyed absorbing knowledge. With a quick mind but without great intellect or guidance, she would appear to latch onto new information that caught her fancy e.g. Super Nanny style discipline. I think, in her favour, she genuinely could see how a routine might benefit a child with a chaotic life. But she couldn’t contextualise e.g. to consider that the method was inappropriate for Star’s age and due to her much more dangerous side, the method began to mesh in with her cruel traits and need for control.
She finished her formal education at 10 but from the evidence appears to have enjoyed absorbing knowledge. With a quick mind but without great intellect or guidance, she would appear to latch onto new information that caught her fancy e.g. Super Nanny style discipline. I think, in her favour, she genuinely could see how a routine might benefit a child with a chaotic life. But she couldn’t contextualise e.g. to consider that the method was inappropriate for Star’s age and due to her much more dangerous side, the method began to mesh in with her cruel traits and need for control.
Correct me if I'm wrong but I thought she was born on the day her mum died, 1 year later?Why did SB hate this baby so much? Even when she wasn't there she wanted to make sure she was miserable.. So much for loving her so much because she was born on her mums birthday
You may well be right! I've read so much on this case my head is fried with all the info, I couldn't imagine being part of the jury. But my point is still the same
I apologise if I got it wrong.I agree Rembrandt. I think it’s really important to move away from the “monster” narrative. Abusive people are normal, human people. They don’t look like monsters, lots of people would never guess they were monsters. I think if as a society we learned to accept that it’s your brother, your neighbour, your priest that can be abusive, not just the creepy guy down the street or strangers lurking in dark alleyways, more people would be believed.
My mum was abusive, to everyone else she’s meek and mild, my ex husband was abusive, to everyone else he’s charming, my ex boyfriend was abusive, convicted of battery, and still kept his job teaching primary children.
My mum was abusive, to everyone else she’s meek and mild, my ex husband was abusive, to everyone else he’s charming, my ex boyfriend was abusive, convicted of battery, and still kept his job teaching primary children.
I take back my comment. I do believe her and im so so so sorry she lost everything to this beast. I really am so sad for her in many ways. That poor poor poor baby girl. It's heartbreaking
The fact she wouldn’t show FS pictures of Star after her questioning the swollen fingers and then all the google searches is just bleeping heartbreaking, no one can say it weren’t her that caused all that damage to that baby.
I didn't want to derail all the earlier threads to talk about me but since so many people shared their stories I will too...
I had a boyfriend at 16-19 and he was a total SB. All of it. I was strong and confident before I met him and I got strong again when I finally left him.
But those 3 years or so under his control and abuse - doing things I never would ever have done in a billion years..... (photos, evidence, not going out with friends as would have pissed him off, family isolation... )
it's so complex. so much to it. He was horrendous.
Thankfully there was no major violence (just objects not physical) .... and I wasn't a mother at the time, and I didn't do anything illegal under his watch - but I did lose my soul for a bit. Big time.
I'm so glad I escaped and got it back.
I sympathise so much with FS because I can just see it unravel so clearly.
I had a boyfriend at 16-19 and he was a total SB. All of it. I was strong and confident before I met him and I got strong again when I finally left him.
But those 3 years or so under his control and abuse - doing things I never would ever have done in a billion years..... (photos, evidence, not going out with friends as would have pissed him off, family isolation... )
it's so complex. so much to it. He was horrendous.
Thankfully there was no major violence (just objects not physical) .... and I wasn't a mother at the time, and I didn't do anything illegal under his watch - but I did lose my soul for a bit. Big time.
I'm so glad I escaped and got it back.
I sympathise so much with FS because I can just see it unravel so clearly.
I hope I’m not just being soft because she’s the mum, and like I’ve said I don’t want to believe a mum could be that evil. But I do now believe her. Well most of it. I believe she was so dumb and controled she didn’t notice what everyone else did. The times all seem to be matching up now too.
It does seem to have happened so very quickly. From meeting to the death of her baby in 10 months. Terrifying.
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