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Puzzfish

Member
So... I’ve been reading here for the last week, post-Instagram meltdown, and have finally been moved to post after I looked in the mirror this morning and saw SH staring back at me. Same haircut, microbladed brows, Pillow Talk lipstick, high necked floral dress, Acne Pistols. The whole fucking shebang.

Sad to say I’ve been a long term follower of Sali’s - she became very prominent when I was in my mid-20s, and needed to find my own style, and graduate from my early 20s mini-skirt and lipgloss look into something a bit more adult and professional. I followed everything she did, and based my look around all of her advice.

Post Instagram meltdown I found myself here ready to find out just how cruel and vile people could be, and after a week of reading I have a lot of questions, and am really angry with myself for swallowing everything. Yes, some of the comments here could be classed as mean, and I’ve read a few things that made me cringe, but underlying everything is a necessary discussion on transparency and influencer culture (and her Instagram persona is very much an influencer, not an author).

Two things really struck me:

You can count me as the second fool to buy the shower cap. And it’s terrible - I find myself switching to a £2 old school version more and more because my hair is constantly falling out the front and getting wet. The fact the inventor of the cap was posting on the Guardian the day her article went up suggests a conversation was had before it went live, and whether money was exchanged or not there is clearly a relationship in place. I faithfully bought ready for it to change my life because I had trust in Sali’s advice, and feel completely done.

In an even stupider moment, I paid £400 for a haircut with Luke Hersheson, because Sali had recommended him and her hair always looked amazing. £400 is too much for anyone to spend on a haircut, but Sali who talked about her money issues and struggles as single parent so openly could afford it so it must be ok. For me to afford it meant I had to cancel all plans with friends for 2 months after. It was a good haircut, but not worth 10x what I would normally spend. Now I’m finding out she gets her cuts for free, so it looks like Hersheson’s got what they wanted from this deal.

I don’t feel any pride in writing this, in fact I feel completely conned and embarrassed that I’ve modelled myself on someone who’s presented it all as helpful life advice when actually she’s doing deals behind the scenes to profit off gullible people like me. But thought it was worth putting all this down so the many people reading here can see how average people are duped by this way of operating.
 
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India Knight should be discarded because of her statement that childless people are unfulfilled. I’m struggling with fertility and find that statement utterly devastating. Am I not a whole person because I don’t have a child?
This attitude gives me RAGE! Apparently as I am childless I cannot know true love, feel truly scared or proper happy. Fuck that shit. I feel like I won the lottery at 11am every Xmas morning, when I don’t have to deal with irritable kids who have been up since 4am. I get that kids are wonderful, but I’m no less of a person or a Woman because I don’t have one.
 
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Hello everyone - deluded turds included! Thanks for the new thread.

I’m sorry to all those who are dealing with the heartbreak of family with dementia and of fertility issues and of anything else for that matter! To make something like that up (the father dementia jokes) suggests SH is a bit more damaged than I imagined. It’s a real reach and it’s deeply unfair.

I have a theory about the whole thing! I have sensed the tide turning re. SH for a while. Friends I’ve spoken with have rolled their eyes and there have been a good few critical comments in the guardian piece each week and it began to need stringent modding.

This may have caused some people to send her rude messages, but I really have no idea. I have never contacted her directly, I have only ever left (one or two) relevant comments on her public social media and I’ve always been very gentle and polite as I believe that’s the only way to make a point.

I think she’s CONFLATED the two things and blames her less enthusiastic audience on Tattle rather than looking to herself to see why her formula has started to wear thin and why a tattle thread even started in the first place.

The magic mix is ban free conversation on your SM, be rude to the very followers who pay your bills, tell lies, be a bully and act evasive about brand relationships. But I really think the main one is being rude. She sometimes says she doesn’t have to reply to comments and she’s really busy and does it for free, and other variations on that theme. But the more comments she gets, the more she can monetise her account if she needs to. Her followers are literally scattering valuable currency into her feed and she’s like oooooo Thank Me! And excuse you!

When I read the comments below her IG vid I feel absolutely disgusted with myself for ever posting here. Then I go away and think about it and wonder what the options are. Obviously voting with my follows is one clear answer. But what about the people who don’t have time to look into the reality behind the people who populate our screens? Is that fine for them to just have half the info? And what is the future if it just goes unchecked? It doesn’t look healthy, especially if influencers are this ruthless and literally lie to gain support and everyone trots out the exact same lines by rote: poor sali, anyone who criticises you must not have a life! They must be losers! Goblins! Evil! Poos! Wees! If you disagree then you’re a miserable and nasty cow!

It’s like living in a dystopian world written by Margaret Atwood. That image on SH grid of her grinning and holding the Handmaids Tale sequel is extremely uncomfortable 😂.

It isn’t sensible for a handful of people who lets face it, must be narcissistic (at least a little smidge, at least a weak dilute of narcissism running through their veins) to have such a gigantic platform. Obviously they are doing what is best for themselves. What are the chances that’s also what’s best for lots of other people? I almost feel I have a responsibility to push back against it.

Here are some of the signs which suggest the SH situation is unhealthy:

Censored debate (even mumsnet ffs)
Lies
Same handful of media spokespeople
Edited history (deleted tweets and false claims)
Emotive language and manipulative use of distress
Calculated burying of the lead (ie releasing video to overshadow EL stories)

These things are as old as time but if social media has given us something good, it’s the opportunity to get educated, be critical and push the issue of transparency. I’m not talking about bullying anyone, I’m just talking about quietly demanding certain standards for the media we consume. And until I know how to do that in an effective way, I will talk to all of you about it, and that’s my right.

I am so grateful there is a group of people who have the same perspective as me. I know I’ve gone on a bit too long now!!!
 
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Jelly Bean

VIP Member
I've come back from my dog walking and will put down the thoughts I had.
The thing that has got me so cross about this all is that SH knows we are decent people here and I'll tell you why. She knows that a vast majority of people here are ex fans and or GtLers. When we were that demographic we were 'smart, intelligent, funny people'. That was when we agreed with her. Now we don't we are 'turds'. Our disagreeing has taken the form of chatting to ourselves about it here. Not flooding GtL, not flooding Insta, not flooding twitter. Not ever revealing we know her dodgy online history, being part of 'coven' that drove two women to depression (well documented) and orchestrating a campaign to get another woman the sack from her job (well documented). She knew we knew this stuff but never ever mentioned it on her other platforms - not because we were sitting on our hands with the info but that it wasn't relevant. We just wanted somewhere to discuss her work - an online 'really????' since we couldn't get engagement in The Guardian.
She changed this. She told lies in her video. She spied on members. She sat there quiet as mouse while her friends raged about doxxing us and punching us and setting their attack weasel husbands on us because 'I know where you live' because are vermin, disgusting, turds. She let them do that knowing she was lying about us. She did it because her ego couldn't handle the fact we didn't love her any more, didn't trust her any more and occasionally laughed at her - our speculating she didn't get invited to VBs launch rankled terribly believe me. She lied and said we were threatening her children and family altogether which is fucking disgusting.
'Pretty Pathetic' really.
 
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SequinnedElephant

Active member
I’m about to confess to the most shameful thing of all. I bought the shower cap on Sali’s recommendation. It’s shit and I cringe every time I look at it.
 
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BettyDoodah

Active member
Puzzfish I would be interested to know how old you are. I am at a loss as to why anyone ANYONE is still buying into what they are told in magazines. They are all selling. They are all trying to make money. No one, NO ONE is impartial. Everyone is trying to scrape a living. Do you really think that this new moisturiser is going to make you look like a young Brooke Shields when the other 30,000 out there have not managed to do so? It can't and it won't. Buying a fucking shower cap because someone has told you to sounds fully insane. I am not being a bitch, but come on people, start to wise up and make better decisions. If you can't afford it, don't buy it. If you think it is going to change your life, it won't. It might make you feel nice in the short term, because purchases can do that, but it is not going to revolutionise your life. Strangely I speak as someone who still likes products and knows a lot about them, but I am realistic. Do not get fooled into parting with your money over false claims.
C'mon peeps, let's be nice. @Puzzfish came here and shared her story like many of us did and was duped like many of us did. Its seems she learned her lesson so no need to patronise. Like I said before, I am sure the coven has a lot of voodoo dolls with "Tatlle" written across them, no infightings, please. X
 
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PineappleQueen19

VIP Member
India Knight should be discarded because of her statement that childless people are unfulfilled. I’m struggling with fertility and find that statement utterly devastating. Am I not a whole person because I don’t have a child?
Sorry to hear that FitiverMin. If it helps I tend to find the people who make those sorts of statements are covering something up. Jealous of their child-free friends? Resentful at their own lack of freedom? Regretful of certain life choices? Who knows, but it doesn’t come from a good place.
 
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I was wondering if anyone had done that. Not out of pettiness or spite but to actually get the other side across. How is it fair that only one side gets aired?
I am absolutely sure that the guardian has been all too aware of this site for a while now and is following all the threads. That's why I wrote that I don't contribute to them, for all the endless begging emails. I want them to know that normal people leading often very difficult lives, who the guardian in theory cares about and represents, aren't complete thickos just because we don't live in London or Brighton. We see this bad behaviour and I, for one, will not fund people swaggering around and bullying on twitter all day. We are in a bloody constitutional crisis, that's right, all of us, not just self absorbed, minted journalists. This sort of bollocks is the reason we're in such a bloody mess and it's about time everyone grew up and stopped wanking blue ticks off with one hand and punching skidmarks with the other. Waves to Guardian subs team.
 
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maytoseptember

VIP Member
Also, if I was going to model my hair on someone, it would not be Sali Hughes.
I think you’re being very unfair to @Puzzfish, singling her out for criticism like you are. It’s very uncalled for.

Yes, of course we should all be wiser when it comes to being sold to, and shouldn’t swallow the oh-so-alluring messages we’re given - “if only you got this facial or that haircut or those boots, then you’ll be happy and fulfilled and everyone will think you’ve got your shit together.”

If you’ve never fallen for that kind of thing, then you’re a better woman than most of us.
 
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Rouletta

New member
I’m about to confess to the most shameful thing of all. I bought the shower cap on Sali’s recommendation. It’s shit and I cringe every time I look at it.
*shameful shower cap fist bump*

I just wanted to believe! It's not worse than other shower caps but it's not £40 better. For real, it serves as a warning about having the confidence in my own judgement a bit better. Or about how I really should have read the hilarious comments about it below the column which might have knocked some sense back into me.

I am yet another person who came here because I was shocked and saddened at seeing Sali Hughes' video and then had the scales fall from the eyes a bit when I actually read the thread. I'd feel a bit cross if I'd been one of her celeb friends who took it on trust about how abuse of her husband, children etc was there. What an own-goal. She did this on terrible advice, legal or otherwise.

I do hope she is okay. I suggest she is not being helped by her friends assuring her on twitter that she is surrounded by evil people and how terrible it all is. A better sense of proportion might help, that it's people who were - and are- her audience; people who love skincare and makeup and want to read about it, have a laugh with likeminded people and to get good recommendations so we don't waste our money. And who feel a bit let down because she wasn't as transparent as she could have been and was frequently cold or brittle with people who weren't in tight with her gang.

Frankly, taken in the right spirit, this could help her. Obviously no-one likes hearing they've behaved badly but if she is able to swallow the bitter pill, there's genuine advice to be found here about making her stuff better. I really think if she'd take the approach of 'Never nice to see you're being talked about behind your back but painful as it has been, I see now I'd gotten off track a bit blah blah' Then make an effort to respond to questions/comments on their own merits not just how famous the person asking them, stop deleting anything even mildly critical and declare all and any potential conflicts of interest. Or maybe just take a break and write about other things? Maybe people just get jaded about eyeliner eventually.
 
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Spanner

Chatty Member
I sacked off IK’s writing when she did that hideous book including such belters as childfree people should just suck it up if they get divorced because it’s not that bad, childfree people talk about their parents too much and then those profiles of women by the way they dress (remember Hampstead Woman?) I remember at the time on SHB some people said it was a bit off and they got shut down immediately cos it was Sali’s friend.

Also, in case anyone is worried at the prospect of EJ turning up at their front door, I used to work at Parliament at the same time EJ and no one was scared of him. I think most people felt sorry for him. “EJ is pissed in Sports & Social again”

Great thread title btw!
 
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I hope lots of you have deep pockets, a legal expert on mn said Sali could claim substantial damages from all of you. As none of you have been punched in the tits by her what you are doing here is against the law!

What I can see here is lots of green eyes over a successful, intelligent and well liked overall fab woman. I bet all of your just want celebs liking your tweets!
MN is great isn't it. I've never found a place where SO many "legal experts", doctors, dog behaviourists and consultant surgeons just hang about freely giving out advice. I was advised to call an ambulance over a shaving rash on my leg once.
 
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HowardMoon

VIP Member
But only a very small diluted eyelift. Like barely any lifting. Just a smidge.
Oh of course. It was whispered on by kittens!

Ah so this helps explain why a comment on GTL wanting to punch us in the tits was not deleted immediately. I would love SH with some of her screen grabs from here to point out where anyone has threatened violence. Yet we are the dangerous ones. For querying if someone actually paid for a lipstick.
None of those women could punch anyone in the anything. If they ever were near any kind of physical conflict irl they’d wet themselves and run away. It’s all stupid drivel. They speak like Sali. Pretending they’re ‘hard’ when they’re actually silly middle class white women who spend all day on Twitter being utter bitches to other women out there in the world doing things with their lives.
 
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Tesla's Ghost

VIP Member
Of course we have deep pockets, I for one have a B. Freud jumper for every day of the week, I put the Sjal cream on my toes, and I pick up my dog's shit with a £45 shower cap.
 
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V interested in PP’s implication that the contributors here are thick and therefore not very nice/opinions do not need to be considered.

There is some evidence that the working class, even in the same institutions as the middle class, do not have the same access to educational opportunities and this might render them ‘thick’ in comparison. They are still living and breathing conscious humans so their opinions do actually count in some situations. Presumably which media they consume and what they think of it is one such example.

There is also some evidence that standards of intelligence are defined by the middle classes and have been for a long time, thus perpetuating ad nauseum one very rigid idea of not-thick. Blue tickers are out there contributing daily to our ideas and reality and arguably reinforcing their idea of intelligence. One definition of intelligence tho is the ability to be a flexible thinker and that possibly does not match well with having a black and white opinion piece churned out like clockwork.

There is also some suggestion that being clever enough to know you’re not so clever is in fact very clever. Finding yourself to be very smart can sometimes be a sign of not being smart enough to entertain opposing opinions. Maybe the confidence to sign your name to your own opinions constantly is a mark of a defecit of that sort of intelligence but of course we do need those people to fill up the pages of the newspapers so I wouldn’t say they’re pitiful or thick. Just.... a certain type of thinker which may be best taken with a pinch of salt or even, shock horror! Discussed.
 
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Am another newbie who's found their way here via Instagram.

I was never massive SH fan but followed her on twitter & often quite liked her takes on things ... - but then saw her whip up the attacks on EC & I was dubious since then - But the nastiness directed at DOP has really shocked me - especially as DOP has always seemed harmless and sweet (kudos EK for calling out). I did some twitter searches and it's all still there - seriously mean and I'm not surprised people have now deleted tweets / accounts.

Doing that kind of bullying on an open forum is bold - you must be in such a bubble to think that's ok. And to blame it on getting false gossip - come on - that's a flimsy defence.

Like someone said above I expected to find 4chan / 8chan style grotesque shit posting - but nope. I'm not even convinced any of you are incels. 👀

Anyway my pop psychology theory is SH knows she's been involved in online nastiness and is panicking & so is doing DAVRO - that is Deny, Attack, Victim, reverse Offender - so the offender tries to become the victim to avoid facing any responsibility & garner sympathy and protection. It's worked to a degree as I don't think many will come here read the threads or do the twitter searches.

I really hope DOP and EC go from strength to strength. They both seem genuine, funny, clever and adored by their fellas. Good for them.
 
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Nimblepimble

Active member
I've just remembered when it was I really woke up to her and how snippy she was in her interactions. It's a classic. She was tweeting about how she was having nut roast or something like that for Christmas dinner. (Did you know she was a vegetarian?! Fascinating!) She asked a question along the lines of what alternative veggie Chistmas dinners do you like? A fair few folk replied with their recipes for nutroast. She didn't seem impressed and questioned why they were doing this? She only wanted other examples NOT their recipes for nut roast. It was bizarre. Of course she has deleted her tweets. But Twitter search salihughes nut roast for a huge list of all the poor fuckers who bothered to respond and the finest repository of nut roast recipes this side of Brighton.
 
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NoseyP2019

Active member
So it’s okay for Sali Hughes to talk about other people’s Botox but if anyone comments anywhere on the internet about hers then that’s trolling?!?

Sali Hughes bullied Dawn O’Porter relentlessly, publicly commented about Esther Walker’s parenting, publicity shamed various celebrities for injectables use, thinks it’s funny to demean being a lesbian and thinks it’s funny to belittle a black female politician by joking about her vagina and implying promiscuity. But we’re the trolls? I am so incensed by her hypocrisy and her nastiness. To think I used to like her.

Let’s hope that if we keep visiting, commenting and using her name, this site might be the highest ranked result for Sali Hughes.
 
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