Sali Hughes #26 Lipstick, lube and liberalism

[SqualorVictoria]

Oh god, I can picture the chapter on marriage already. "I knew that I didn't want to be your typical, run of the mill bride in some virginal white dress. I mean, we had already been living in sin and I have two children from a previous marriage, for heavens sake. I'd be fooling precisely no one with some demure, virginal blushing bride act. It was with great care I choose the not as yet released Falconetti dress from the Vampire's Wife for my evening attire. It reflected the quirky, indie vibe of the wedding that Dan I wanted to portray, us not being like any other couple. It felt uniquely "us". It was a proud moment when Vogue magazine awarded a "dress of the decade" gong to the Falconetti. This dress, the very same dress I had raved to til dawn in a Brighton drag club, the soundtrack of the Pet Shop Boys and Madonna in the musical backdrop curated by my creative friend Lauren Laverne."

 

[SqualorVictoria]

'Because someone always asks' is a potential thread title

 

[Tesla's Ghost]

That big black embossed Diptyque Baies candle

It's actually a travel size. She's so petite they seem huge in comparison.

 

[GTL Old-Timer]

I would like to nominate “Sali Hughes: A mediocre, middle-class woman” for the next thread title!

 

[Disillusioned]

Disclaimer: I’m no SqualorVictoria, and I’m well through a bottle of red (RIP any residual glow) but our Sal has shared her latest dispatch...

As a journalist, one sometimes has to put one’s own moral code to one side for one’s craft. And so I found myself in the unexpectedly pleasing environs of a thankfully chilly, heavily air-conditioned mall in Dubai. I have long said that I would never holiday in Dubai, but when my dear friend Charlene Tilbollocks decided to launch her new line, OrgasmoDrip™️, in the world’s largest mall, I had to join her in the name of female solidarity. I never let my sisters down, innit. As an arctic-pale Celt who has only very recently converted to all shades sand, dune and baby shite, I was hesitant. I needn’t have been. The temperature was maintained at a bracing 14 degrees, enabling me to remain cozily snuggled into my beloved Hush® Sophia cable knitwear. As a passionate advocate for sustainability, I was heartily cheered by the revelation of Tilbollocks’ new reusable widget, a truly ground-breaking gizmo that can be seamlessly transferred between all products in her new capsule mini range™️. A truly novel new development that the beauty industry has long called for. I then popped into the Fenty concession but meh. We retreated poolside for some well-deserved and mollifying Irish coffees.

* I PAID FOR EVERYTHING YOU PICKY BITCHES
** Yes Tilbollocks owns my craven soul but I paid for EVERYTHING (excludes flights, hotels and samples of capsule collection™️)

 

[SqualorVictoria]

"I arrived in London with little more than the clothes on my back, a £20 note and a tote stuffed with fluffy white flannels for even then I knew the importance of hot cloth cleansing"

 

[Spanner]

Chapter 4

Potatoes

There is nothing better than a baked potato and I believe this to be fact.

Seriously, who will sacrifice themselves when this masterpiece comes out?

“My husband, Dan, who is a mensch and an excellent shag, asks me to make him a baked potato, almost as often as he requests a trip to our friends at The Chilli Pickle. Pleasing.”

(edited to add extra Sali)

 

[Runestone]

One thing I have to thank Sali for, if she hadn’t been such a snippy bully I’d never have ended up joining all you lovely people here. Tattle and it’s members has been such a great place to vent, joke, or just plain have a chat after such a rubbish year. Cheers to you all been such welcoming kind people.

 

[Missypissy]

I've just watched and cringed myself up my own arse hole. Sali managing to make joggers and a sweatshirt look as relaxing to wear as a corset and bustle.

Also if I was in marketing for Hush I'd want a more scenic back drop than those street shots in return for my kindly gifted loungewear. But to be fair she probably had a minestrone on the hob and 200 words on the perfect recipe for toast to knock out...she only had time to do a quick strut round the block. Busy busy.

 

[murphao]

Why does anyone need hundreds of flannels? Why not just have a few and wash them? I don't get it!

Talking of mirrors, did anyone see the £279 one SH included in her Cult Beauty "edit"?

https://www.cultbeauty.co.uk/sali-hughes-edit

Who needs a mirror for £280?!? Ugh, I’m so sick of her constant shilling and her conspicuous consumption.

Having read the Sali threads over Christmas, I’ve nothing new to add. I really enjoyed her writing in the early days of the column; it’s thanks to her that I still double cleanse and learned how to apply liquid eyeliner, but the format has become rather tired and formulaic in the last few years and so I’ve stopped reading the column. Like many here, I was a member of GTL and really was such a fan. She felt like the big sister that I never had; perhaps it’s because I was impressionable and hadn’t figured out who I was yet that I sought to make myself feel better by buying lotions and potions because Sali recommended them. I bought so many things based on her recommendations that just didn’t work for me or my lifestyle; was it only me who continued to wear the Bobbi Brown lipstick in Nude because it looked great on Sali, even though it washed me out? I was so envious when she was gifted the red Chanel compact mirror one Christmas, and the only reason I didn’t buy Acne Pistols was because I couldn’t get them delivered to Belgium!

Nobody forced me to buy those things but looking back on it, I feel like she exploited a lot of people. She was one of the first beauty influencers around and I never twigged that the reason she had all these treatments (Hershersons haircuts, Vaishaly facials, eyebrow threading by Daxita) was because they were free for her. I feel conned and incredibly embarrassed that I sought to emulate someone who has profited hugely from others by shilling new things every week.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Thanks to @Curio and @TriviaNewtonJohn for the thread title.

Recap of last thread:
Tricky really as Sali hasn't done much apart from redoubled her efforts to sell stuff on IG. Possibly post hard-hitting documentary fatigue?
There was a heartwarming and very natural scene under her Christmas tree wrapping Hush gifts #ad for all her girlfriends.
And lots and lots about candles. So so much about bloody candles. To be fair there were even some recommendations for the pov faces amongst us. Which was cheering. Candlelight is so much kinder on the beef face.

 

[Lreb88]

As if you’d buy a book for a baked potato ‘recipe’!

 

[Spanner]

Also, the I-can eat-whatever-I want-and-not-gain-weight-also-I-hate-exercise schtick

That’s so annoying. I remember, back in the day, on the forum, she said she tried the 5:2 diet for 6 weeks and nothing happened. If you’re doing it right and truly dropping 3000 calories a week, which is basically all the diet is. it’s going to make you lose weight. I think the implication is she is way too petite & manic pixie dream girl to need it

(yes, I am thrilled this information lives rent free in my head, yet my A-Level French is nowhere to be found)

 

[SqualorVictoria]

My first instinct on the 'amazing deal' that they stockpiled is that they took an amazing deal away from families who have a genuine need to shop at a low cost supermarket and get an amazing deal- how annoying would it be to read about this amazing deal and find that the shelves had been cleared by some Twitter luvvie who is angling for an OBE

 

[HarderFaster]

She knows “next to nothing” about the Olsen twins? Sorry, what? Probably the most famous and highly paid child actors in the world? Have had a really well-respected fashion brand for well over a decade? Fashion icons whose lives are in the news (Sarkozy divorce, anyone?).

I’m sorry but this is Sali doing a performative centrist dad “Who are the Kardashians?” act. There’s no pride in being a lifestyle journalist who doesn’t know who is who in popular culture.

 

[BostonFernGreen]

My face depresses me so much . I’ve aged 6 years over the last year.

1. I bet you haven’t but feel same
2. Do you have any fake tan drops? One drop is enough to even out skin tone without giving noticeable tan vibes.
3. Crest whitening strips (online from eBay) are SO effective and white teeth are always cheering
4. Do you take any oil supplements? I feel like evening primrose oil really helps with ashy dryness I’m prone to which makes me look unwell.
5. Never, ever look in a magnifying mirror in direct daylight. Ever. For any reason. EVER.

 

[Runestone]

It is funny - Sali is so irrelevant now. I don't even know really what she does any more. Her Guardian columns are sporadic and really quite odd when they do appear. I have almost completely forgotten why I liked her years ago. But I know I did. She was interesting and had an interesting look (obviously I didn't know she was being a horrendous twitter bully at the same time).

Agreed. I used to think she was so classy and polished. Never used twitter or I would have been disabused of that notion rather quickly. I think her promoting whatever people pay her to, has also diluted her brand. A weak dilute perhaps but still.

I used to have a very clear image of her been the more mature indy girl with doc martins and a dainty handcuff necklace. A cool band girl who had become more refined with time. Now though she's too contradictory based on what she needs to sell that particular moment. She hates exercise but posts peloton porn, she's the palest woman to ever refract the suns rays but recommends foundation colours bordering on trump. Everything is a hard stance that gets flipped the moment she's paid to. The only solid descriptors I have of her aren't very complimentary, the nicest been Influencer, and given the rejection of consumer culture its not exactly a compliment.

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

I’ve been in a really depressed funk lately and even basic personal hygiene has felt like a mission up Everest. I forced myself into the bath this evening before my body walked me there against my will and got my Korean mitt out for a good scrub. Wow. It was deeply satisfying to basically shed my skin like a snake. Add a leg shave with a brand new razor that I actually really like, a good amount of moisturiser and I finally feel a little lifted. It’s obviously not solved all my woes, but I feel more content this evening than I have in weeks and weeks.

I cannot rate this little green mitt highly enough,seriously. Sorry I’m a total stuck record about it!

 

[HarderFaster]

I see from that horribly snippy little exchange that Sali hasn’t moved on in the slightest from the early days of Twitter and getting her horrible mates to bully people. Lucy Mangan’s sarky addition of “how dare you give me hope” etc is particularly twatty.

The “be kind” brigade are an absolute scourge in general, IMO, but even worse are the upper middle class ones with no concept of precarity or real jobs. At the end of the day, whether you did retail 25 years ago (Sali) or never really had to get a normal job (daughter of doctor, Lucy), you aren’t equipped to be an arsehole to someone currently working in the industry with legitimate concerns borne from actual experience.

All of the FBPE types replying to this girl telling her that she’s negative or shitting on a good deed are so totally cut off from the reality of what it’s like for people who can’t WFH in luxe loungewear. Maybe I’m reading way too much into it but it’s a telling insight into why the left wing in this country is so disjointed and divided, when ideologically material concerns for the rights of workers are deemed to clash with being arbitrarily nice.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Out on September 16th.

Ah yes, exactly what the world needs. More life lessons from a privileged middle-class white woman.



Who buys this guff and why do publishers keep printing it?!

(And I say this as an extremely privileged middle-class white woman).