I'll preface this with saying if you wanna know why the witch of Botoxia is the the worst, you might wanna watch some of that yourself because she's so tragically stupid and selfish... I mean, this almost like best of witch. Anyway.
I HAD TO QUIT MY JOB VLOG RECRAP.
First of all, before I even click on it... what job might you be referring to? Anna's job of being a stay-at-home-witch? His job of pimping out his kids? I don't think so. But let's see what lies tonight's offerings will include.
We start with them in the car, taking Anna to the station and Jonathan remarks how beautiful Anna is with her hair up....he thinks she looks like a stunning model with a ratty bun. Okay then. I'd say she looks even more like a witch but you do you. Anna's carrying a LV tote and a weekender and is wondering IF SHE HAS ENOUGH ARMS TO CARRY IT ALL. Yes, witch, you don't need a slave to carry two medium sized bags.
Jonathan takes Andrea to soft play, which may well have been his first outing ever. He loves it and even Jonathan says they don't go often. Guess it must be hard when you have a witch to tend to at home. They pick up Alessia from school and she's a bit whiny cause she's hungry. So Jonathan offers her... leftover pasta. And leftover risotto. WHAT. Two different kinds of leftover? How old are they? I would never keep rice.... But you know, cute Lessi is so bright that she refuses both and gets a sandwich or a wrap instead. So the gnarly old leftovers are fed to Andrea instead, cause why not. How about another round of food poisoning for the whole fam? Jonathan lies to Alessia and says her wrap contains tuna and sweetcorn which she loves, but it's actually salmon and cheese which she doesn't. She doesn't want it! She ends up getting just sweetcorn, Andrea's food is haphazardly thrown on the table again, yup, sweetcorn straight off the table. Jonathan also claims Alessia beat him with her jacket and was mean because she didn't want his rank pasta. I wonder why that is.
The next scene is the family outing at Nando's... so...the things that happen here... Emilia licks her LOL doll and then asks that people comment down below if they think Andrea will have blonde or ORANGE hair. I'm a bit sad Anna doesn't offer rose gold as an option again. Man, those kids are weird. After dinner, they all get chocolates from the shops.
Good lord. The next scene is Anna in her car, wearing ginormous sunglasses and acting like diva. "well hello there, it's been a while..." not nearly long enough, witch. Oh. she actually goes nowhere. Or we never find out, cause the next scene is Anna in her kitchen saying she stopped working. OMG. WITCH. YOU CAN'T QUIT A JOB YOU NEVER HAD! She also says she doesn't know how people do both, be a stay-at-home-mom and working at the same time. Umm.... read those words Anna and think real hard. They are sort of mutually exclusive. Yeah, I know some people work from home... but you know...that's just not the point. It's such a dumb thing to say. She goes on to stay, "the stay-at-home-mom-thing is basically a full-time job, so i stopped working for the month because we don't have childcare." She says she hasn't worked in month because being a mother is so hard - then she goes on to show us her nails she just had done. Yeah. Being a MOM is hard. Then she whines that she couldn't go to London with him for work meetings. !I AM PART OF OUR BUSINESS!..." Then points out how frustrated she is that she couldn't come because she had to look after her children. Oh my god. That poor witch. Jonathan even told her she doesn't need to cook because apparently has a million other things to do... meaning getting a wax? Her hair done? Selfies? WHAT DOES SHE HAVE TO DO?! But she insists on cooking anyway because she's a perfectionist AND IT WAS ON HER MENU/MEAL PLAN. "Every time I cook something, Jonathan and I agree that it tastes better than takeout." This vlog is such a treat. The poor witch also has a headache because she only drank water with her workout and not since. As she's prodding her chicken in the pan she hates on her outfit "I don't really have a lot of clothes..." UM, what?! WHAT?! "Everything is either too small or too big" *drumroll* Let's hear it for the fans of her ED! Here we go! Last winter's clothes are too tight! Her pregnancy clothes are too big! Her post-pregnancy clothes are too big! Her body isn't adjusted to...whatever her ridiculous standard is. "This time last year I was smaller because I was breastfeeding... I get really small really quick when I breastfeed...and as soon as I stop, I get a bit bigger." She's cooking the whole time...and spoons a ton of mustard into the food... "Jonathan doesn't like mustard..." LOL.
In the next scene Anna says it's a nightmare having four kids in the car..."you guys be on best behaviour while I cook." For duck's sake. You just cooked that before you got the kids. Reheating food is not cooking.
The end of the vlog rant is done by Eduardo and Jonathan.They're mostly just making faces at the camera and it's disturbing as always. Jonathan teases about what they are doing this week...it's all mysterious and he might turn into a hour long special. Ugh. Recrapping a whole hour of this sounds fun... not. Their secret project thing is them going somewhere off the grid for... duck knows what. Guess we'll see.
' 
. And yet lately she's done a spon for The Wellington Clinic, the doggy breakfast, the photoshoot, LOL doll winter disco. So what the hell is she on? I'll work if I don't actually have to work.