s3x life

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I feel like this happens lots especially when you’ve been together for a while but I think it’s actually quite easy to fix (I had the same situ with my ex boyfriend) I basically took it back to basics and said I wanted to spice things up in the bedroom, we bought some toys, had a few hotel nights away, really worked to increase the intimacy and it had great results! I think sometimes blokes are just so lazy 🥺
I think he's just got comfortable with me and isn't so interested now. It's probably my appearance or something!

Do you live together? I think some men get sort of not bored but overly comfy? when the relationship is day-to-day about doing the dishes or what's for dinner and the excitement of meeting up isn't there. Not that they stop being interested but just life is relaxed and good and it just doesn't really happen without one of you making an effort.

Are you initiating and he's turning you down or is he just not making the first move? It doesn't necessarily mean there's anything medical going on - it's been a weird while and some people haven't coped as well as others. He might just be stuck in his head a bit.
Yes we live together. Bit of both really, I will initiate it and he says he's tired or just says 'tomorrow' then other times he just goes to sleep and ignores me,

Has anything happened to him or changed in his life?

illness
Mental health issues
Weight loss or gain
Change in job or financial circumstances

Something must have caused this change.

have you sat down and tried to have a serious conversation with him about it? Laid it all out on the table - that you are unhappy with your sex life, that it’s not working for you anymore?

I think you need to have that conversation with him. You need to be serious with him and tell him that you are unhappy and that if he’s not willing to talk about it and try to work to fix it then the relationship is over.
No nothing has changed in his life, if anything over the past year or so his life has got better / easier. I have spoken to him but never laid it all out so will try that. I personally think it's me and he's just not attracted to me anymore.

Is it possible he’s depressed? Or (I hate to say it) could there be someone else?



There is nothing wrong with you. He’s selfish end of.
I personally don't think he's depressed but he could be, I have said to him about speaking to someone as he does get really angry / aggressive at times. There may be someone else, haven't even thought of that.
 
Have you tried any things to try and spice things up? Obviously depends what you’re comfortable with and what you’re in to but Ann Summers has some good games to play with your spouse, you could try that? Or buy some sexy underwear/outfits? Something that’ll make you feel sexy and confident and hopefully he won’t be able to keep his hands off you! I feel really bad for you because I don’t think they realise the effect it has on you mentally!😢
 
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I personally don't think he's depressed but he could be, I have said to him about speaking to someone as he does get really angry / aggressive at times. There may be someone else, haven't even thought of that.
Has he always been angry/aggressive or is that something new? Worth considering if really he is struggling with something below the surface that isn't obvious to you. Or if he's just an hole.
 
Has he always been angry/aggressive or is that something new? Worth considering if really he is struggling with something below the surface that isn't obvious to you. Or if he's just an hole.
He's always been angry / agressive
 
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Not to sound too harsh but if you’re only 26 and dealing with a man who’s not wanting sex with you and is angry and aggressive… you can do better!!! Life is short and I wasted a lot of my 20s with the wrong man. I wish I’d had the guts to just end it sooner.
 
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@spiderpig I know you mentioned he wasn’t interested in toys, but is that just from the conversation you’ve had? Could you perhaps use a toy next time you have sex and see how it goes?

Or like others have said, book a night away? A change of scenery might help, take the pressure off. I’d focus more on a day trip somewhere that just happens to involve sleeping over in a hotel, rather than saying you’re booking a night away due to the lack of sex?
 
Touch it very important to men. Perhaps start small pick a film you both like try to pick something quite visually sexual that will appeal to him, for a bad example of game thrones plenty of graphic sex on it. Sit on the sofa next to him and snuggle and gently rub his arm or back. Its being sensual without being too obvious. Then perhaps give him a few kisses on the cheeks or near his neck.

Sometimes men feel overwhelmed when they feel like they need to perform sometimes spontaneity is the key.

Whatever if it is it is not you. Im sure you havent changed hes just got into a rut and cant work his way out. Dont let him make you feel bad.
 
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Just read on another thread that apparently the OP has resolved all of these issues and are now thinking of going to Gretna Green to get married

🙄
 
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They’ll post a new thread in December
‘Should I get a divorce’
“We got married at Gretna, we didn’t have sex on our wedding night - he said he was too tired - and he’s been tired or not feeling well enough to have sex ever since - I don’t know what to do? We are only 26 and I think he loves me but I just don’t get it?”
 
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“We got married at Gretna, we didn’t have sex on our wedding night - he said he was too tired - and he’s been tired or not feeling well enough to have sex ever since - I don’t know what to do? We are only 26 and I think he loves me but I just don’t get it?”
Let's just hope they don't want kids.
 
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