Relationship Advice

[Snippysnips]

Is he sending them in response of this friend asking him if he can hang out more? Could it be that if he sent a message saying he wasn't doing anything then this friend would want more time an he doesn't feel like it? So therefore he's making these responses up so that the friend then can't ask him for his time, I have a online friend that tbh if I didn't say I was at work or doing something even when am not then they would absolutely bombard me with messages, however my lie would usually be something like I have family over an not making up outings like gymnastics

Tbh it's probably better talking to him about it otherwise it's going to drive you insane

 

[simbi123]

Is he sending them in response of this friend asking him if he can hang out more? Could it be that if he sent a message saying he wasn't doing anything then this friend would want more time an he doesn't feel like it? So therefore he's making these responses up so that the friend then can't ask him for his time, I have a online friend that tbh if I didn't say I was at work or doing something even when am not then they would absolutely bombard me with messages, however my lie would usually be something like I have family over an not making up outings like gymnastics

Tbh it's probably better talking to him about it otherwise it's going to drive you insane

Nah its nothing like that unfortunately seems unprompted and its such a random lie

 

[Snippysnips]

Nah its nothing like that unfortunately seems unprompted and its such a random lie

It could just be fantasizing, like you said maybe it's escapism, most online friends you never meet in real life especially if they tend to be in different country's, so perhaps he doesn't see anything wrong in the lies he sends even if it does seem weird he's sending things like going to a gymnastics competition

 

[simbi123]

I know it was wrong but I looked at my bf's messages with one of his online friends because I was suspicious about how much time he was spending with this person.

The messages were mostly normal but I was so shocked to find he had been making stuff up about his life to this friend.

For example, one of the lies was that he was going to 'watch his gf at a gymnastics competition'. I'm sure he doesn't have a secret gf, and it was sent on a day we were hanging out. But I have never even touched gymnastics. Other lies were like him driving to pick me up from work, he doesn't drive and I wfh.

I felt a bit sick reading these messages and I don't know what to believe anymore. I don't think he's lied to me about anything.

He has a very stressful life atm (he's working on it) so maybe the lies are a bit of escapism for him? It makes me feel very uncomfortable though and idk what to do now... It's really eating me up, he seemed so right for me.

Especially bc if I talk to him about it, I need to admit I read the messages