Quarter life crisis

[MaryJaneShoes82]

I’m in my late twenties and I’m struggling. I don’t know if it’s just the times we live in or just a mixture of things over the years.

I am currently in a job I don’t particularly like but the hours and pay are good so I’m finding it hard to justify leaving. I don’t know if I’d get paid what I do there anywhere else, not because the pay is amazing or anything but just because nowadays I feel salaries just aren’t great compared to the cost of living.

My husband is also keen to move which I am too, however current house prices terrify me. I’m in the south but not a major city, live in a 3 bed semi detached house which is a fairly ok sized house but we want more downstairs space for our children and our current house we can not extend due to the garden being tiny. Another reason we would like to move! However, to make the jump to the next size house in our area is about 235,000 more than what we are in now.

My daughter has also recently been diagnosed with dyslexia and I’m trying so hard to help her but I’m at a loss if I’m doing the right thing all the time. I am so worried about her future, I don’t want her to feel unfulfilled like I am right now. The balance between doing enough and not too much is such a hard thing to get my head around.

I feel the cost of living just keeps going up and up but salaries remain the same and we all have to sacrifice constantly.

I’ve come across the notion of the quarter life crisis and wondered if anyone else has experienced this? I’m finding it hard to talk to anyone in my private life about this as I know we all have our problems and worries but sometimes saying them in a more anonymous space is easier.

Even just some inspiring stories of career changes would be great. I’m stuck in such a rut and I know that I’m so lucky to have amazing kids, a husband I adore but I think the last year of nothing going on is just making things feel so much worse.

sorry for this long rambling post.

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Didn’t want to read and dash but I’ve been there although I had mine at 25 (I actually had a breakdown where I was signed off for some time - it was triggered work related bulling harassment at my first ever graduate job) and had another “ existential crisis” again at 27, I’m 28 now (thanks lockdown) my life is in no way as put together as yours is. But I know everyone has problems and I get where you’re coming from in terms of crisis.

The circumstances of life at the moment is pretty intense all round so perhaps your feelings stem from that?

my advice quickly, if you want a career change? Go for it! No time like the present! The money at your current is good so maybe look into evening classes or open uni course for something you’d find fulfilling before making the switch. Do you have any ideas of what you’d like to do? I love my job but the salary is poor. I do think Its hard to have a job you love and the high salary we all need but I’m sure it’s achievable eventually! Unfortunately currently the salaries in this country aren’t rising with inflation etc but one day this may change.

Re your daughter with dyslexia - speak to the SENCo at her school about getting her additional help or support and if there are any groups externally.

Cost of living is astronomical and the pandemic is making it harder so don’t be so hard on yourself about that too! It sounds like you’re doing the best for your children.
Sending xx

 

[Welshgal]

I sadly don’t have much advice I can give you but it is definitely possible that this is all triggered by the current situation! Thinking clear has become a
huge problem for many people, so you are not alone!

Are you in England? If so, then hopefully with things slowly going back to normal you’ll feel better soon, and you’ll figure out what the real “issues” are and what only was a problem because of the situation as a whole (and if you are not in England, know that things are getting better almost everywhere!)

RE your daughter, definitely try to get some professional help (from school or outside school). I have quite a few friends who have dyslexia and they are all doing really well, because they had great support in school! the

Wishing you all the best

 

[MaryJaneShoes82]

Thank you both for your kind replies. I’m feeling a bit better this afternoon.

I hate feeling like I’m moaning but this morning everything felt completely on top of me. Hopefully as lockdowns continue to ease I will start feeling better.

 

[rainbowlemon]

Like the other poster said try not to be too hard on yourself. Talking about something isn't moaning. The past year has been super difficult for many. It's okay not to be able to move straight away. How old are the kids? If they're almost teens they will be staying in their rooms mostly soon.

It's also okay to want to change careers-what areas do you find interesting?

My cousin has dyslexia, but he still graduated as a doctor two years ago. She will be okay but just needs extra support that's all.

 

[Hello1888]

I know he’s not the most favourable character right now, but career achievement wise, he’s very impressive - Matt Hancock. He’s dyslexic.

 

[AladdinSane]

I had this during the first "opening up" after lockdown. I'm 27 and I actually enjoyed the first lockdown in terms of the time I had.

Once everywhere started opening up, I became very aware of how much time had been wasted. I'd always wanted children by the time I was 27 but went through a bit of a spiral of not wanting them yet as I've missed out on a year of doing me, worrying that I would have them too late, feeling like I was behind schedule and feeling like I was getting old.
We had minimal savings in place and I essentially just started panicking, looking back over the "good old days" and just made myself miserable for a week.

Honestly my advice is try to talk to people about it. You may find a lot of people are in or have been in a similar situation beforehand. Try and live in the moment, don't look back unless it is to learn from experiences...and finally do whatever you need to to make yourself happy. If you want a career change, go for it. Maybe if it is financially possible, budget for a emergency fund so when you do change, if the salary is lower, you have a buffer.
Try not to worry about your daughter. The fact that you're worrying so much about her shows you care and I'm sure she knows you will fight her corner and support her through this. I know lots of people who have dyslexia who have gone on to work great jobs and live fulfilling lives. I think as humans, we are meant to question where we are and what we are doing.
Sending you all the best and apologies for the extremely long post

 

[MaryJaneShoes82]

Thanks for all your replies. I appreciate them all but the encouragement of my Daughter and her dyslexia honestly means the world to me It’s great to hear about people who’ve gone on to have great jobs. We’ve read so much about people in the media and love the charity made by dyslexia but sometimes it’s hard to find those people in everyday life. I really appreciate all your replies. Thank you so much