PTWM #96 Can’t cope with kids,Treats Josh like crap, cos she’s jealous of his ham wrap

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New thread title thanks to @Lucyinthesky88 , edited to fit, the full version was "
Can’t cope with her kids,
Treats Josh like crap,
Cos she’s jealous of his midday coffee and ham wrap." I've popped a card to your best mate's work address hun, just write it yourself when it gets there, yeah?!

Last thread recap:
- Still a cunty Carol!
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- Raq shared a post about daughters who "carry the trauma of their mothers" and "raise themselves". Clearly supposed to be yet another dig at her (unwell) mum, and doesn't see the irony that the post actually applies to Betsy, Tallulah and Edie 🤷
- The ceiling is coming down in the main lounge. The same room that just the other day she said would be being redecorated soon. How convenient!
- Wilby's had another sensory play session, with a bottle of talc on the floor. However, just like the tin of paint he tipped over, he managed to not get a single speck on himself. What a clever toddler he is!
- A brave and selfless Tattler took one for the team and revisited Lying Linda's first book off the back of her claim that she learnt to drive when Betsy was 9 months old and they were living in refuge. On one page of the book, R is with the girls' dad but they only have Betsy. R states that she was in a senior management role, with "a new company car and earned a good wage". A few pages later, she states that the split with "Tony" was in May 2005 when Betsy was 9 months old, after an argument which turned violent. So at that point either she couldn't drive and didn't have a company car, or she didn't learn to drive while in (pretend) refuge with Betsy 🤷
- Rancid Rach was quiet all day, then 💥BOOM💥 Grid post about the women's centre being a "dream come true". The comments were full of huns frothing at the gash over how amazing and inspirational Queen Lateetha is, and lots of people saying they can't wait to pop in (including OAP SIA Astrid). Thought it was a safe space for vulnerable women, Rach, not a drop in centre for your arselickers to take selfies? All about her and Emily, no mention at all of Jo who is also listed as a director, and has probably done all the background stuff like paperwork.
- then followed stories of reposts saying how incredible it all is 🙄, Emily making a coffee and Edie playing with toys meants for kids who have nothing.
- Raq treated us to a little tour, taking in the office "how cute will this be to work at, this is where I'll be working for the foreseeable". What about the desk in the hobbit loft you had made specially to "work" at? No security, but gifted wire signs on the walls. Excellent. Wilby lay on the sofa with his shoes on, kicking his feet all over it. That'll be lush when someone wants to sit there.
- a bit more content of Wibble amusing himself, this time by taking bottles of squash out of the pantry and putting them on the floor. Rach thinks it means he's thirsty, more likely he's just bored babe.
- Lula's had her hair highlighted again.
- someone called "gembob" is apparently going to join the team at the patchwork shitshow launderette. Raq's next housekeeper/babysitter/general dogsbody?
- Oooh a Q&A about the centre! Men CANNOT access any support, it is a women's centre for women only, no men allowed as it's a safe space. She thanked her followers for making her financially secure by supporting her books and adverts to enable her to do it. No mention of the £9,500 she got as a grant from the National Lottery, or the ongoing PayPal money.
- it's NO MEN ALLOWED but they are trained to work with abusive men.
- she hopes one day Emily will tell her story, which probably means giving R permission to put it in a book.
- she doesn't want donations at the moment, but is working on another project for October 👀
- Ratchet took Wilby to soft play with one of the random women she approached in the park, so of course the woman's child has to be W's new bestie 🙄 then she let him have her latte, because every toddler needs to keep their caffeine intake up.
- despite just days ago saying how tidy Seb's prison cell room is, she was moaning at him about how messy it is and he needs to tidy it up. Then Betsy was whining about wanting to go out for a drive, and told Lula that she'd have to stay home to look after Wilbert. A twelve year old in charge of a toddler sounds like a great plan.
- last week Betsy apparently went to a coffee shop in town for breakfast every day, now she sits in her car 🤷 B and L were sitting in the car playing loud music, I'm sure the neighbours appreciated that 🙄 The car seat that Betsy bought "with her own money to use in her friends' cars" is firmly in the back of her car. Betsy apparently locked herself in the boot with the keys in her hand (so believable) and Racquet happened to film it all 🙄 how the car was locked with the key inside is unknown, but ut couldn't possibly be all fake and set up for content, could it? Oh look, no less than 6 reposts of how hilarious Raq's stories are.
- Ratshit can't even take Edie to the circus without filming it (and other kids nearby), and poor Edie can't even enjoy the circus without playing up to the camera.
- it's Rachey Ramble time! Oooh, look at my hairy armpits and the bits I missed when fake tanning! Apparently her publisher has been in touch to get her to tell everyone that her book is down to 99p on Kindle. Did they Raq, or did you know because you saw it on Tattle?! Bit embarrassing really, only out a couple of months, not even available in paperback yet and already in the bargain bin! Josh crawled up the stepladder stairs and through the hatch with Little Josh out 🤮 luckily he didn't catch his balls on the stairs because they're tucked away in Raq's Mulberry handbag for safe keeping.
- Racquet loves Edie SO MUCH that she films her sleeping and shares it with a couple of hundred thousand strangers. Ok hun.
- Wilberforce went dashing off in his new Vans and resolutely refused to look at a digger, despite Raq saying "look at the digger" over and over again. Even he's sick of your whining Rach.
- Lula had a treatment for her skin, and of course the anxious child can't even have privacy there. Then they went charity shop shopping, probably a first for Rach as she doesn't like anything that isn't branded. After that they went to a plant shop, and then Lula rang Raq's toxic mum, while Raq videoed it. I wonder if she told her mum that her conversation was being recorded to be shared online?
- Ratchet bought some dolls from the charity shop that are DEFINITELY haunted. Enjoy the restless souls in your house babe!
- People have apparently asked for a tour of Lula's room. That's right, grown adults want to look around the bedroom of an anxious pre-teen.
- bizarrely, Rach uploaded a photo of Tallulah on the grid, and then deleted it 🤷 turns out they'd had an argument. She replaced it with a photo of herself in her vile neon snot coloured dress with her boobs almost out 🙄
- time for the Dots of Death! Straight after a post about Sarah Harding sadly passing away from cancer (with a broken heart emoji, of course), Raq hurtled into having been crying all week and moaning that Wilbert has broken her glasses by "giving it one of them". Her mate Lucy turned up (sorry, best mate), and retelling this made Raq get a wobbly lip talking about celebs who have loads of money but still die by suicide. Our Racquet has had such a hard 6 weeks holiday (minus all the time she has palmed her kids off on others, of course). It started with a loaf of bread (Warburton's, of course, because she's a brand snob), and it's difficult juggling 6 kids with "different needs", and her "work" is off the scale at the moment. Raq coped "so much better" when she put her kids in holiday club and went to a real job. No tit, you preferred it when you were paying someone else to look after them all day. She's admitted that Isaac gets overlooked (been reading Tattle have we hun?). Wilby wants to get back inside her womb ( the same Wilby who barely looks at her if she comes home from being away). She's worried about Lula going back to school because she's so anxious (not that anxious that she doesn't have her own Instagram profile though, and doesn't mind the fact that she has been having counselling for years and has just started having treatment for her skin broadcast to thousands of people). She's jealous of Josh, who gets to go out to work and sit in a cafe with his work mates eating a wrap. Yep, that's what all full time key workers do allllllll day 🙄. Then it's all about the trolls - she doesn't like writing her long posts any more because people are horrible. She doesn't take her kids out on her own or have one to one time with them (which is mostly her choice) and she feels like a tit mum. Raq hun, there are many, many reasons you are a tit mum!
- Josh picked up and examined a dead bird, then put it in the boot to take home. Better company than your wife, eh Joyce?
- Lula's gone back to school, celebrated with a nice filtered photo. Rachey's feeling a bit better because she's in her "happy place" - yep, the centre for traumatised women. Raq's trying to up engagement by putting a suggestion box on her stories about the inspiring books about women. She's got some free worry dolls to give out to the kids that come, great for a choking hazard. Sheepers have sent a load of ugly slippers for her to give to the women. Edie's really earning her keep, starring in more ads than the rest of the kids put together, and helping out at the patchwork launderette. Then she asked Ratchet "what are women's centres for?". Of course the camera was set up perfectly to capture the important conversation, what a coincidence! It gave Raq the opportunity to tell Edie all about when she left B and T's dad, and how horrible it all was because she didn't even have a washing machine and they had to sleep on mattresses on the floor etc etc etc. Edie couldn't have looked less interested if she tried, you need to bribe her better next time Rach!
- An eagle-eyed Tattler noticed that among Josh's recent follows was a porny illustration account. Now we know the reason for the mirror over the bed 🤢😂
- Wilbur was featured on a Facebook ad for the local trampoline park, not content with flogging her kids herself, she's now allowing others to do it too 😬
- Ratchet's publishers have done a post about her shite book being 99p (which is embarrassing in itself, seeing as it only came out 2 months ago), and limited the comments on it 😂
- The recent day out to a farm with Wilberforce and Edie has (surprise, surprise) turned out to be an advert for the trains. Will Ratshit ever spend time with her kids without having to be paid for it? Also, she never uses the train, on account of having a shiny Volvo sitting outside the house, but remember - she only advertises products she really loves 🙄
- Eco warrior vegan Betsy sat eating McDonald's in her car - there are very few vegan options at McD's, and they are not really what you'd call an ethical company 👀 she's clearly taking lessons from her mum on rambling on and stretching out a short anecdote into as long a story as possible. It involved driving with Josh and a seagull being in the road so she swerved. Not going to lie, I was fully expecting the seagull to have been "giving it one of them" 🙄
- the pink sofa is gone! She says "given away", but we'll be keeping an eye on PA Jo's Facebook marketplace 👀
- Wibble had a tantrum over the kids going back to school, Rach filmed and snorted instead of comforting or distracting him.
- A grid post of Raq 'n' Joyce acting like a pair of cringey teenagers, with a big caption about how they get to just be "us" for the day. No arguing with kids, organising days out etc (which let's face it, they haven't been doing anyway), just the two of them enjoying each other's company. Firstly, they've had more time alone than most other parents in the bleeping country (Herpes Lodge, the crack den hotel for Josh's birthday, multiple nights out pretending not to drink the fizzy cat's piss etc), secondly, where's Wibbly? Being supervised on the sofa by Paw Patrol? Or having sensory play in the downstairs toilet?


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Will catch up on the wonderful recap after I’ve picked up my child from school and not a paid friend.
Anyhoooo well done V clap 👏🏻

Rachy your patchwork house play scheme/cafe/laundrette/coffee house will be a tit show #justsaying
 
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So V is also opening a CIC too? At least she knows what she is doing and it will be professionally run unlike Rachel’s and that halfwit Emily’s coffee/laundrette shop.
 
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Brilliant recap….honestly think it isn’t going to be long now until the wheels fall off for her….imagine deleting a picture of your child from social media because you had, had an argument….that’s spiteful teenage girl behaviour not parenting!
 
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The recaps are just getting better @DipsyDoodle 🤩.

Not to over analyse but it jumped out at me.
The picture today and the video last night have different teeth. WTF 😩

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I don’t know why but she reminds me of a tit version of Emma Thompson in love actually with that hair cut. Dunno if that’s good or bad.
 
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I don’t know why but she reminds me of a tit version of Emma Thompson in love actually with that hair cut. Dunno if that’s good or bad.
I will never forgive Alan Rickman for what he did to that beautiful woman. At Christmas as well.
 
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Do we think she paid 160 or 48 quid for the tshirt? Either way its gonna look fab when at the patchwork house dealing with women and their trauma who have duck all 👍 sorry I dont mean to question Sir Bob Geldofs integrity but she totally unrealatable
 

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She thinks shes Mrs Hinch with her 'haul' are her management telling her to go down that route now. Slummy mummy not cutting it. I'm sure it will be a #ad #gifted load of tit from Home Bargains. I hope the patchwork community fridge is now full 💜

ETA looks like BandM bags on 2nd glance more useless shite
 
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