New thread title thanks to meeeee! Kevin the Hermes driver is on his way round as we speak with a retainer and a Pratonamat, just what I always wanted 
Last thread recap:
- Rachaele's middle name should be 'Cunty'
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- Raq shared a video (which looked covertly filmed) of Seb talking to her about having anxiety. Rancho, saviour of the broken, and ambassador for Kidscape, who just last week talked about male mental health, dismissed him, saying "you're only 15, you don't need to overthink anything"
- Wilbert was filmed interacting with his second favourite parent - the dishwasher. Did everyone know that he's got the most unbelievable blue eyes?
- The family went to a farm park. Where Rachey fed a goat a paper bag
on a positive note, she's finally got Wilby out of his baby grows and into a proper outfit! Unfortunately she then shared a close up of his feet, and it looks like Joyce has been too squiffy from the booze to cut Wilberforce's toenails, they look like he could swoop out of the sky and clutch a fish out of a lake 
- Edie's back to earning her keep and birthday presents by starring in adverts
- Betsy told Winston off for eating some cakes. Raq told her it could have been Ethel, and blaming Winston was like sending someone to prison for a murder they didn't commit. Yeah, I can totally see the similarity all this was while Be Kind was wearing nothing but a towel.
- More winding up from Seb, keep up the good work mate! Followed by a grid post of him, she won't answer his calls but she'll sell his childhood for some likes on Instagram.
- once again she's tagged proper author Lisa Jewell, probably in the hope she'll get a mention from her and a few more followers. Shameless.
- For the first time in Wilbert's life, he was playing on the floor and building some blocks. Mum of the year Raq *could* have sat and played with him, instead she was filming.
- in another development jump for Wibble, they have finally shelled out for a high chair for him. Obviously it's positioned so he can face a screen, but it's an improvement on craning his neck round from his old one.
- Wilby has been bought a North Face jacket that already looks too small, great investment of over ยฃ100 there.
- an advert for Tesco, this time with Lula roped in. A ton of free stationery going straight to Lula's room, instead of being donated to someone who can't afford it themselves, like, oh I don't know, maybe some kids in refuge?
- Rancho shared some toys that have been donated for the women's centre, followed by a post about a missing person in another part of the country
- tit THE BED! PARENTS IN 'PLAYING WITH CHILD' SHOCKER! Yes, R and J sat on the floor playing with Wilbert! For most 2 year olds this would be a normal, daily occurrence, but for Wilby this is a strange and unusual event. Will it carry on? Or will it turn out to have been staged for an advert?
- Ratchet has apparently been working 12 hour days since coming back from Liverpool. Doing what, exactly? Sitting on your arse filming your kids? Thought it was only 5 minutes a day!
- She reckons when she was away she spent all her time with the kids. Apart from that time a hun spotted 2 of them on the train without you, eh?
- Betsy apparently goes into town to have breakfast and read a book before work every day. Why would a Bestselling Author be surprised if her kid suddenly started reading? Also, she reckons B posts what she's reading on her Instagram, maybe it's a non-public one that she uses for actual mates, as there aren't books posted on her public page.
- Wilby is suddenly confused over how to eat an ice cream, despite basically being weaned on them. Raq took E and W to the beach, but had to have Stabby Jo along, as she can't possibly look after her own kids alone.
- Raychaellleee and Joycey had a rare night out! By rare, obviously I mean they haven't had one in a couple of days, and of course Stabby Jo was along for the ride (and possibly a sleepover in the hobbit loft as well). Raq's grid post had to be deleted and reposted as she didn't notice a nipple was showing in her hooker dress. Josh, meanwhile, was dressed like someone's grandad off out to the betting shop. Betsy was babysitting, and let Edie stay up late and drink a can of Coke. Rachey managed to bump into someone who had her book in their bag, and she just happened to have a pen to sign it. What are the chances?! In amongst other inexplicable things Raq had in her handbag was a tin of dry shampoo. Has anyone in the history of going out ever taken dry shampoo?
- Rancho followed up an advert for vegan, cruelty free deodorant with a photo of a bacon sandwich. Tactful as ever.
- She shared the new sign for the launderette, just like Raq herself it looks cheap and gaudy.
- Rachey and PC Titwank met up with Arsetrid and Mr Arsetrid for lunch, although not at their gaff for a change. Is Simon sick of the pair of twats lounging around his house? We hope so! In yet another break from the norm, Wilbert has some books! Probably out of the toys that were gifted for the patchwork cafe, but hey, he'll take what he can get.
- She's bought Ethel a crate for when Kevin the Hermes man knocks on the door 17 times a day. But Winston prefers it.
- Rachey gave Wilbert her cup of tea, then complained about not being able to have a cup of tea
- Then the "bestselling author" wrote a caption that made no sense - "Off for a morning walk on his birthday present with him". Turns out the walk was only with golden child Wilbert, Raq and Joyce pretending they only have one child again. Wilberforce was on his little bike that's suitable from 12 months old, but he only got it for his 2nd birthday
- Ratchet shared a post about being jealous of people's lives on social media, Rach hun, nobody's jealous of you!
- Seb has put a cannabis leaf sticker on his bedroom door - excellent real life trolling there Seb
careful mate, or she'll be tapping you up for a new dealer as well...!
- Raq showed Seb's room and honestly, we've seen cosier looking prison cells no sign of the collage she made him on the wall, she did however finally show the external door into his room which she swore was being bricked up 
- She also showed the laundry room, which has been tiled and decorated WITHOUT BEING FILMED IN PROGRESS!
- Someone sent a box of Fairy washing tablets for the launderette. So why is the box open and on the shelf in your laundry room at home, Raq?
- She ordered some name stickers for the kids' laundry boxes "like all the influencers do", but didn't bother to read any instructions and ruined them all, so wrote the names in Sharpie instead. Pure class, that woman.
- the conservatory that was so kindly made over for free less than 3 years ago is now an absolute shithole, containing coats, shoes, a fridge and all other manner of shite. She says it'll be coming down next year, we'll wait and see shall we, seeing as you still haven't done the family bathroom...
- Rachey is on her period, again, and showed her pants drying in the conservatory.
- She also said that the kitchen will be being done next year.
- They went out for another walk, this time with Wilbert dressed as a cheesy 80s DJ.
- Rachey Ramble time! She pretended to Joyce that she had to work because she didn't want to bath Wilbert. Another quick mention of her period while admitting that Betsy is her babysitter (although she's had the audacity to duck off to Cornwall camping, so Raq will have to look after her own kids). Ratchet and Joyce are off to Birmingham for a bird show, but they never have time away from the kids. Joyce has 2 new aviaries in the garden - odd how this hasn't been shown as content, bit worried about the huns seeing just how much dosh you're raking in, Rachey? Apparently when he was 14 he was "big in the bird world", what a claim to fame!
- yet again she's been to Homey B's, anyone would think she's sniffing around for an ad deal with them. In case anyone didn't know she's on her period, she bought some heat pads.
- Seb had a mate to stay over. Which Raq and PC Titwank didn't know about. Rach made a big fuss about the fact she "almost had her tits out" when she spotted what she thought was a grown man walking around her house with no top on. Bit of a weird reaction to an actual CHILD Rach. Also, bit strange to not know there's an extra person in the gaff, I know it's all set up like the H H Holmes murder mansion, but is it not a safeguarding risk to have extra children around without your knowledge?
- Rach complained about "having six kids hanging out of her arse", but the captions came up as "if you've had sex hanging out of your arse" and didn't bother correcting it (hard of hearing? duck you, this is about all the huns messaging to tell her how hilarious she is). Of course she shared no less than 5 reposts about it.
- Wilberforce's new favourite toy appears to be an Ikea plant stand (probably bought with the PTWM credit card and put through as an expense for the women's centre).
- Racquet has bought a wig. For what purpose, we have no idea. Is it for Halloween? Is it to pander to Josh's little sex game of pretending he's picked up a stranger in a club? Or is it just because she wants to be able to nip out to Home Bargains without the risk of someone recognising her and asking her about the PayPal dosh?
- Betsy's had her first driving lesson, with the same instructor that taught our Ratchet. Seeing as she can't drive in and out of her own driveway without ricocheting her car off the walls, and is scared of motorways, this may not have been the best idea. Of course she had to shoehorn in a reference to when she was in (pretend) refuge, apparently learning to drive when Betsy was a baby, but managed to find money to buy a car
If you are new, please read the wiki (pink button at the top) and if you are in need of support or advice in relation to domestic abuse, there are some links and helplines listed at the bottom of the wiki page
Last thread recap:
- Rachaele's middle name should be 'Cunty'
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- Raq shared a video (which looked covertly filmed) of Seb talking to her about having anxiety. Rancho, saviour of the broken, and ambassador for Kidscape, who just last week talked about male mental health, dismissed him, saying "you're only 15, you don't need to overthink anything"
- Wilbert was filmed interacting with his second favourite parent - the dishwasher. Did everyone know that he's got the most unbelievable blue eyes?
- The family went to a farm park. Where Rachey fed a goat a paper bag
on a positive note, she's finally got Wilby out of his baby grows and into a proper outfit! Unfortunately she then shared a close up of his feet, and it looks like Joyce has been too squiffy from the booze to cut Wilberforce's toenails, they look like he could swoop out of the sky and clutch a fish out of a lake - Edie's back to earning her keep and birthday presents by starring in adverts
- Betsy told Winston off for eating some cakes. Raq told her it could have been Ethel, and blaming Winston was like sending someone to prison for a murder they didn't commit. Yeah, I can totally see the similarity
all this was while Be Kind was wearing nothing but a towel.- More winding up from Seb, keep up the good work mate! Followed by a grid post of him, she won't answer his calls but she'll sell his childhood for some likes on Instagram.
- once again she's tagged proper author Lisa Jewell, probably in the hope she'll get a mention from her and a few more followers. Shameless.
- For the first time in Wilbert's life, he was playing on the floor and building some blocks. Mum of the year Raq *could* have sat and played with him, instead she was filming.
- in another development jump for Wibble, they have finally shelled out for a high chair for him. Obviously it's positioned so he can face a screen, but it's an improvement on craning his neck round from his old one.
- Wilby has been bought a North Face jacket that already looks too small, great investment of over ยฃ100 there.
- an advert for Tesco, this time with Lula roped in. A ton of free stationery going straight to Lula's room, instead of being donated to someone who can't afford it themselves, like, oh I don't know, maybe some kids in refuge?
- Rancho shared some toys that have been donated for the women's centre, followed by a post about a missing person in another part of the country
- tit THE BED! PARENTS IN 'PLAYING WITH CHILD' SHOCKER! Yes, R and J sat on the floor playing with Wilbert! For most 2 year olds this would be a normal, daily occurrence, but for Wilby this is a strange and unusual event. Will it carry on? Or will it turn out to have been staged for an advert?
- Ratchet has apparently been working 12 hour days since coming back from Liverpool. Doing what, exactly? Sitting on your arse filming your kids? Thought it was only 5 minutes a day!
- She reckons when she was away she spent all her time with the kids. Apart from that time a hun spotted 2 of them on the train without you, eh?
- Betsy apparently goes into town to have breakfast and read a book before work every day. Why would a Bestselling Author be surprised if her kid suddenly started reading? Also, she reckons B posts what she's reading on her Instagram, maybe it's a non-public one that she uses for actual mates, as there aren't books posted on her public page.
- Wilby is suddenly confused over how to eat an ice cream, despite basically being weaned on them. Raq took E and W to the beach, but had to have Stabby Jo along, as she can't possibly look after her own kids alone.
- Raychaellleee and Joycey had a rare night out! By rare, obviously I mean they haven't had one in a couple of days, and of course Stabby Jo was along for the ride (and possibly a sleepover in the hobbit loft as well). Raq's grid post had to be deleted and reposted as she didn't notice a nipple was showing in her hooker dress. Josh, meanwhile, was dressed like someone's grandad off out to the betting shop. Betsy was babysitting, and let Edie stay up late and drink a can of Coke. Rachey managed to bump into someone who had her book in their bag, and she just happened to have a pen to sign it. What are the chances?! In amongst other inexplicable things Raq had in her handbag was a tin of dry shampoo. Has anyone in the history of going out ever taken dry shampoo?
- Rancho followed up an advert for vegan, cruelty free deodorant with a photo of a bacon sandwich. Tactful as ever.
- She shared the new sign for the launderette, just like Raq herself it looks cheap and gaudy.
- Rachey and PC Titwank met up with Arsetrid and Mr Arsetrid for lunch, although not at their gaff for a change. Is Simon sick of the pair of twats lounging around his house? We hope so! In yet another break from the norm, Wilbert has some books! Probably out of the toys that were gifted for the patchwork cafe, but hey, he'll take what he can get.
- She's bought Ethel a crate for when Kevin the Hermes man knocks on the door 17 times a day. But Winston prefers it.
- Rachey gave Wilbert her cup of tea, then complained about not being able to have a cup of tea
- Then the "bestselling author" wrote a caption that made no sense - "Off for a morning walk on his birthday present with him". Turns out the walk was only with golden child Wilbert, Raq and Joyce pretending they only have one child again. Wilberforce was on his little bike that's suitable from 12 months old, but he only got it for his 2nd birthday
- Ratchet shared a post about being jealous of people's lives on social media, Rach hun, nobody's jealous of you!
- Seb has put a cannabis leaf sticker on his bedroom door - excellent real life trolling there Seb
careful mate, or she'll be tapping you up for a new dealer as well...!- Raq showed Seb's room and honestly, we've seen cosier looking prison cells
no sign of the collage she made him on the wall, she did however finally show the external door into his room which she swore was being bricked up - She also showed the laundry room, which has been tiled and decorated WITHOUT BEING FILMED IN PROGRESS!
- Someone sent a box of Fairy washing tablets for the launderette. So why is the box open and on the shelf in your laundry room at home, Raq?
- She ordered some name stickers for the kids' laundry boxes "like all the influencers do", but didn't bother to read any instructions and ruined them all, so wrote the names in Sharpie instead. Pure class, that woman.
- the conservatory that was so kindly made over for free less than 3 years ago is now an absolute shithole, containing coats, shoes, a fridge and all other manner of shite. She says it'll be coming down next year, we'll wait and see shall we, seeing as you still haven't done the family bathroom...
- Rachey is on her period, again, and showed her pants drying in the conservatory.
- She also said that the kitchen will be being done next year.
- They went out for another walk, this time with Wilbert dressed as a cheesy 80s DJ.
- Rachey Ramble time! She pretended to Joyce that she had to work because she didn't want to bath Wilbert. Another quick mention of her period
while admitting that Betsy is her babysitter (although she's had the audacity to duck off to Cornwall camping, so Raq will have to look after her own kids). Ratchet and Joyce are off to Birmingham for a bird show, but they never have time away from the kids. Joyce has 2 new aviaries in the garden - odd how this hasn't been shown as content, bit worried about the huns seeing just how much dosh you're raking in, Rachey? Apparently when he was 14 he was "big in the bird world", what a claim to fame!- yet again she's been to Homey B's, anyone would think she's sniffing around for an ad deal with them. In case anyone didn't know she's on her period, she bought some heat pads.
- Seb had a mate to stay over. Which Raq and PC Titwank didn't know about. Rach made a big fuss about the fact she "almost had her tits out" when she spotted what she thought was a grown man walking around her house with no top on. Bit of a weird reaction to an actual CHILD Rach. Also, bit strange to not know there's an extra person in the gaff, I know it's all set up like the H H Holmes murder mansion, but is it not a safeguarding risk to have extra children around without your knowledge?
- Rach complained about "having six kids hanging out of her arse", but the captions came up as "if you've had sex hanging out of your arse" and didn't bother correcting it (hard of hearing? duck you, this is about all the huns messaging to tell her how hilarious she is). Of course she shared no less than 5 reposts about it.
- Wilberforce's new favourite toy appears to be an Ikea plant stand (probably bought with the PTWM credit card and put through as an expense for the women's centre).
- Racquet has bought a wig. For what purpose, we have no idea. Is it for Halloween? Is it to pander to Josh's little sex game of pretending he's picked up a stranger in a club? Or is it just because she wants to be able to nip out to Home Bargains without the risk of someone recognising her and asking her about the PayPal dosh?
- Betsy's had her first driving lesson, with the same instructor that taught our Ratchet. Seeing as she can't drive in and out of her own driveway without ricocheting her car off the walls, and is scared of motorways, this may not have been the best idea. Of course she had to shoehorn in a reference to when she was in (pretend) refuge, apparently learning to drive when Betsy was a baby, but managed to find money to buy a car
If you are new, please read the wiki (pink button at the top) and if you are in need of support or advice in relation to domestic abuse, there are some links and helplines listed at the bottom of the wiki page
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