Morning ladies,
Don’t know what got into me last night, think I was just really fed up with Rachel jumping on the newest band wagon without even looking into it properly. It’s quite an emotive subject for me.
brief run down of why I got annoyed.
Age 6 weeks old dad walked out on mum for another woman. He lived over the road, was quite happy for me to go to school in jumble sale uniform whilst my step sister went to school in brand new. Promised to take me on holiday, week before said I couldn’t go as step sister wanted to take a friend.
mum had a brief relationship with a man that kicked hell out of her and us. I remember as a child peeking out my bedroom door and seeing him hitting her over the head with a tin of dog food, he wouldn’t think twice about just punching us as kids. Mum soon kicked his arse out!!
age 11, next door neighbour threw his 2 week old baby down the stairs as he was a psycho and was jealous of the baby, I held that baby in my arms while we waited for the ambulance to come, unfortunately the little boy died 3 weeks later.
got into drink and drugs at age 13, did my GCSE’s stoned...still got 3 ds 6 Cs and a B lol.
met my ex husband at 17, had kids at 21 and 23, got married, then he changed. Became an alcoholic, used to spend all his wages on booze, I racked up so much debt just feeding and clothing the kids. I didn’t eat so the kids could...was a lovely size 10....compared to my size 16 now!! Got a part time job, but would get home on a night and he would be passed out, pissed himself on the sofa and the little ones would still be running riot around the house. He would txt me constantly whilst I was at work, I was a slag, tit mum etc etc. He threatened to kill me several times. He was very manipulative as people thought he was amazing, and used to say how lucky I was to be married to him.
age 29 my beautiful baby sister committed suicide. My ex husband used that and used to say there’s no wonder she killed herself having a sister like me etc etc. Worst day of my life having to break the news to my mum that her youngest daughter had killed herself, then having to go round to my dear old nans and tell her, that broke my heart .
It took me another 4 years to finally break away, I got a job as a dinner bag so I didn’t need him to look after the kids. Then I kicked his arse out. Left thousands of pounds of debt im still trying to pay off 5 years later. Even when we split he sent abusive messages every night, turned a lot of friends against me, tried to turn my family against me. Turned up one night with his new drug addict girlfriend. Called me a tit mum, amongst other things, it turned physical, and he broke my leg in 3 places. I phoned my friend after crawling into the house, she took one look at me and packed the kids up to go to her house while I went to the hospital. I had met a wonderful man 3 months previous to this and were still dating, he came to the hospital with me, and basically moved in because I wasn’t allowed to walk for 6mths. Had an op 2 days before Christmas. Ex then tried to turn kids against my new boyfriend. Daughter didn’t speak to him for ages. I didn’t go to the police, I’m stupid I know...but I didn’t want the kids knowing their dad was a bastard. I wanted them to be old enough to make up their own mind. Which they have, slowly, they have realised since the lock down started he’s seen them 3 times, for an hour. He stopped me taking them abroad on holiday, refused to give me permission to take them out of the country for 2 weeks. Ended up doing it, and we had the time of our lives. He pays me £100 a month for both of them in maintenance, he walked away with £4K in cash and both cars...and it still wasn’t enough.
I had a mental breakdown 3 years ago, it was hard but I climbed back to the top
Now 5 years later, I am so in love with my wonderful other half who saw me at my worse. My kids adore him. We have struggled through this pandemic me being furloughed and him unable to work. We have been on the bones of our arse. But my kids are amazing and thriving. I’ve had a promotion at work and now an assistant catering manager, over seeing 10 primaries and a secondary school.
Life is on the up!!!
This is why I get triggered by all the crap she does, this wasn’t a woe is me post, it was a reassurance to anyone struggling it gets better.
Sorry to everyone that read that and didn’t scroll by, be thankful I didn’t embellish like our Rachel does....hey I should write a book!!!
Love you all xxx
)
Somewhere abroad anyway x
