I scrolled through 12 pages and didn't find a title suggestion, so I went with a quote from an old post of Raq's found by @eyeswildopen sending you some thrush medication and a crappy little trolley for the beach!
Last thread recap:
- Racket is, as always, a massive bleep.
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- she's back on the Rescue Remedy train, claiming that their lives are chaotic because they've got so many kids, and they work full time. Despite the fact they are barely ever looking after any of the kids, and never at work
even Arsetrid was featured, because apparently she leaves the free crap she gets for the adverts all over the place, including at the shop. She's used it to help with the stress of Wilby's diagnosis (THAT YOU bleeping PAID FOR), when she's on her own and bored (you'd think someone who's setting up shops and launderettes left, right and centre wouldn't have time to sit and do nothing )
- 7.30pm and instead of some kind of bedtime routine, Wilby sat in the hallway in a vest looking at photos with Rancho being all patronising. Then she said Sloshy is off to play football "like a proper man"
Raq hun, there's a LOT he'd have to do to be classed as a proper man, starting with taking his balls out of your Gucci handbag and reattaching them to himself.
- poor old Sloshua, who apparently goes to the gym every day at the crack of dawn, has got a boo-boo on his leg from playing football with proper men.
- stuck for content? Just film the same seagull couple who nested on your roof last year, and say the male is "attacking" you when it was clearly flying in the opposite direction (probably scared it would get feathers caught in her teeth). "Every year", like it's a surprise when you live near the coast to have gulls nesting on your roof.
- Racquetball is meeting with Nostrils to plan a "trauma course". What's that Rambo, how to cause it, seeing as you're the bleeping expert? But despite having no kids at home, office space in at least one of her centres, they're meeting in Costa. They've probably still got loads of those vouchers that the huns bought burning a hole in their pockets. She shared a story from Emily of her "working" with the caption "like a lawyer in London", no hun, you're a bleep in Costa.
- Sloshy's working hard - not down at the station, fighting crime and banging up the baddies, but on getting his beach deployment kit together (which so far consists of a folding trolley and a cool box).
- on the PatreCON, Ramble said that she had to get antibiotics for bacterial vaginosis just before her holiday to notBarbados, meaning she likely had it when she was rubbing her vulva on her brother-in-law's neck at her party
. She's now got thrush and her period is due. This is well worth the fiver a month people are paying her! She then went on to say that she has passed her tendency for mouth ulcers on to Tallulah, and thrushy fanny on to Betsy. Roll up, roll up, for just £5 a month you can hear Rancid talking about her teenage daughter's genitals 
she also said that the seagulls on the roof have made her realise she doesn't want another baby, as they keep her up at night and she can't cope. Could any local Tattlers please pop round to throw some chips and ice cream onto the roof to thank Steven and Shirley Seagull for the sterling work they've put in to avoid another Shambleton cash cow 
- Rambo filmed herself coming down the stepladder stairs, past the stain where Wilby opened a tin of paint and spilled it on the floor (no fucker obviously took the hint and offered her a new carpet for free then), and downstairs to greet Wilby and the childminder. Wilbert took one look at her, and threw himself onto the floor and started wailing (Ratchet captioned it "the overwhelm of walking in the door", more like he gets appropriate attention and interaction with his childminder, and he knows when he gets home he'll be ignored apart from having every move filmed). She said "ok, we'll just ignore you", STEPPED OVER HIM and started a conversation with the childminder.
- she then followed this up with footage of Wilby crying, and Sloshy picking him up and settling on the sofa with a bottle and his muslin cloth. Ratshit is clearly trying to prove he's having "meltdowns", when really he looked like a toddler who was tired, hungry, and in need of some comfort
- in the couple of days that Rancid and Mangina Malcolm were away in notBarbados, new bestie Lianne has managed to put a bedtime routine in place for Wilby. Despite having raised 3 kids already, Rango is AMAZED that this works, who would have thought?!
- RayJay managed to "accidentally" set off one of the personal alarms that she's got knocking around the gaff. Cue running for her phone (of course, frankly I'm more surprised that it wasn't already in her hand), all for a bit of FML content. Quick note that while she's walking around in head to toe Gucci, the ceiling of her "loft conversion" isn't actually finished
oh, and it turns out it was all an ad for the Snatchwork quid shop after all that.
- PC Tic Tac Teeth was allowed to go birdwatching, and found a fawn curled up in a hedge. Being the experienced wildlife officer and nature lover he is, he leaned in nice and close to video it for his Instagram. Let's hope when the mother gets back she doesn't smell him and reject her fawn.
- Now that Rabid has dropped in the words "career break" in relation to Sloshua, all pretence that he was going to work has disappeared (even though she said it wasn't starting until mid June). So they're off to the dentist together, like love's young dream
let's hope they're getting a BOGOF for sorting both their teeth out.
- two of the Snatchwork twats have had parking tickets, which Racket is overjoyed at.
- the baby who was at the tat shop opening has come round for tea, who'd have thought that a little one could sit in a high chair and eat a plate of real food? Not Rancid, seeing as she never managed to get Wilby to do it.
- Racquet started off the day by secretly filming Tallulah and Edie arguing over a skirt (sounded like 13 year old T wanted to wear one of 8 year old Edie's skirts, no wonder they barely cover her arse)
- Cunty Carol and head Dan were being an absolute pair of pricks to Seb, who was talking about wanting to go out for food with them. Sloshy couldn't even look at his son, meanwhile all Seb wants is a bit of bleeping attention
- up in the love nest loft, Rambling Rancid was on about bathrooms and hosing her hole with a bidet. Lush. She saw a gold bath that she wants, but it's £4k so "out of my budget really", even though she spent £5k on a watch for Hot Pants Harold at Christmas. She mentioned it would be the cost of a "tit job", no doubt laying the seeds for getting the new bath AND a new pair of tits. After the hole talk, she had to mention her thrushy fanny as well.
- she reckons she had THE BEST time in Barcelona. Are you trying to persuade us or yourself babe? Because we all saw your face when you found out
- Seb's left school, and only in for his exams now. He's fallen out with GG because she came home at 5am at the weekend, went into his room and pulled his covers off. REMINDER: GG is 18 so legally an adult, Seb is 16 so still a minor. Seb told her "it's not even your house", so GG blocked his moped in with her car (the moped that Rango recently said Seb wasn't allowed to use). Betsy's already hit her car on the wall getting on to the drive. She snarled about the fact that her drive is between the neighbour's gardens so she can't have all the space to get her two Volvos in and out (it's not like she rented there for years and knew she had two teenagers coming up to driving age or anything GG blocked Seb's moped in, and he said to Betsy "tell your mate to move her car". Despite being Betsy's mate, GG took offence at being referred to as Betsy's mate and there was a big argument, followed by Booty Shorts Benjamin taking everyone outside and telling them he'd been trained in driving by the military and the police. While strutting around in nothing but a pair of tight shorts, with his hand down the front GG has quickly fallen into the Shambleton family way of slagging everyone off and acting like she's better than all the others.
- Apparently Seb rides his moped to school every day but Rabid has to follow him because it's not derestricted so it's slow (nope, no idea how that's meant to make sense).
- she then started wanging on about birds, and how Sloshua isn't as interested in going off birdwatching this year because he's got a garden full of caged birds to look after. Something about chickens, Joyce is off work (like he has been in months), and does the school run and then goes for a coffee every day (as if Raq would let him!).
- She'd videoed Seb brushing his teeth in the kitchen sink, no idea why.
- weirdo Jeremy the estate agent won a prize in the Snatchwork raffle, surprisingly he didn't want to go bouncing so asked them to draw someone else.
- Lianne has replaced Stabby Jo in every respect, including accompanying Ratshit and Sloshy in looking for bathroom stuff.
- Rambo did a Q&A on her Patreon, which included such gems as "what contraception do you use" (pull out and pray, apparently, more likely hope Joyce's swimmers aren't working due to his excessive alcohol consumption). She also told everyone what Betsy uses (no mention of condoms to protect her from STIs on her one night stands in the shed), and that she was "cray cray" when she had a coil. Excellent language from the queen of mental health there. Someone asked whether Henry was "Seb's brother from his mum", either she asked this herself off one of her other accounts, or the huns noticed what Tattlers did when it sounded like she'd said "Seb's mum texted", turns out it was Seb's friend's mum. Another question was about someone having missed a school picnic, which was an opportunity for Racket to say that she sent in extra food with Edie in case there were any other kids that forgot their lunch (because primary schools are known for letting kids sit hungry, aren't they?). Next question was about her and Sloshy's mums, they've both been poorly so St Rabble has been there saving the day, cooking them meals. Another question was about the homeless man that she "used to help" (aka her and Gangsta Granny were laughing their socks off as they gave him some things that they hadn't even checked he wanted or needed, and then Rawhide said she'd had "a nice day out"). She replied that she has met him for coffee, and now has his bank details so she can send him money. It's a well known fact that you can't get a bank account without a permanent address, so either she's talking out of her arse, or he's not really homeless
- Sloshy is "working" at the jumble shop, although he was quick to point out he's "volunteering". Either way, Toothy Tina had said his career break wasn't starting until mid-June, and he would still need permission to undertake any paid or unpaid work. Edie arrived at the front door to ask whether she had the right nappy to put on Wilby, and she had a visible scratch on her face so of course Ramble put in the caption that Wilby had a meltdown and scratched her
- while PC Pigeon Legs was out working/volunteering in the shop, Rambo had set up the patio area with outdoor rugs and furniture, and set the kitchen table, because Arsetrid and Simon were coming over. Nice to see you make an effort once, Ratchet!
- Remember that time when she ditched the kids and went to London to do "important meetings" with Refuge, then it turned out she was actually going to a Britain's Got Talent show? Well it's finally aired, with the camera having done a close up on her chops so of course all the huns messaged her to tell her, and she had to repost them all. I bet she made Arsetrid and Simon watch it on repeat on her Sky Glass telly (#ad).
- Arsetrid's birthday gift was a picture in a frame of two birds, very much in keeping with Arsetrid's quirky style, but we could all tell Rango was disappointed, probably because it wasn't something Gucci.
- the entertainment for after dinner with Arsetrid and Simon was asking Edie about her times tables, with Betsy stood behind her clearly pissed off that she wasn't centre of attention for a change. So she went and grabbed Wilby to bring him in so everyone could cheer him
- as predicted by a Tattler, Ratty Raq showed the yacht on fire in the harbour, because did everyone know she has a sea view?
- just days after sowing the seed of splashing out £4k on a bath, Shameless Sharon is now on the beg for food. She reckons they do a big shop every week for "the women at the centre" (aka her mates like Sweaty Betty), but because it's half term (no idea what difference that makes), she wants donations of "nice stuff" - not just basics, and if you can add a magazine, evern better coming from someone who doesn't pay her her own food shop (#tesco, #plantchef #milkandmore etc), and is bleeping RAKING it in from various sources, this is absolutely sickening. Then someone conveniently asked how they can donate if they're not local, it's ok guys, you can buy vouchers and post them (or maybe, I don't know, DONATE TO A FOOD BANK WHERE YOU LIVE?).
- in the car, Joyce was grilling Edie on her tines tables again. Listening to your own kid doing them is dull enough, so I'm not sure why she thinks people want to hear Edie doing them (and let's be honest, it's probably Edie's dad that's put in the hard work helping her learn them, seeing as in the Patchwork Hamster Cage Mansion nobody gives a tit about education).
- next it was on to the draw for the Snatchwork raffle - which has apparently raised £7000. Begs the question why that money isn't used for the aforementioned food shop? She's not posting the prizes and winners though, so it doesn't "spoil the surprise ". The surprise is probably that if there are any winners, it'll be her mates and employees.
- Arsetrid reckons she has given up drinking (despite filming Joyce pouring and passing her a drink). Rambo reckons she hardly drinks, only about every 8 weeks. Yet she was hammered at her birthday party, was out for lunch drinking the following day, jetted off to notBarbados a couple of days later and drank every day, when they got back there was one night at home and the next they were off to Exeter for the night, and that was all in one week
- @FridaK estimated that the Patreon is currently pulling in almost £12,500 a month (based on the followers of the Instagram each paying £5 a month, so the figure is very likely higher).
- Rancid started off Monday by accidentally uploading a sunrise picture to her own Instagram, then deleting it and putting it on Sloshy's instead. Nobody would have known, except she forgot it had already uploaded to her Facebook as well
If you are new, please read the wiki (pink button at the top) and if you are in need of support or advice in relation to domestic abuse, there are some links and helplines listed at the bottom of the wiki page
Last thread recap:
- Racket is, as always, a massive bleep.
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- she's back on the Rescue Remedy train, claiming that their lives are chaotic because they've got so many kids, and they work full time. Despite the fact they are barely ever looking after any of the kids, and never at work
even Arsetrid was featured, because apparently she leaves the free crap she gets for the adverts all over the place, including at the shop. She's used it to help with the stress of Wilby's diagnosis (THAT YOU bleeping PAID FOR), when she's on her own and bored (you'd think someone who's setting up shops and launderettes left, right and centre wouldn't have time to sit and do nothing )- 7.30pm and instead of some kind of bedtime routine, Wilby sat in the hallway in a vest looking at photos with Rancho being all patronising. Then she said Sloshy is off to play football "like a proper man"
Raq hun, there's a LOT he'd have to do to be classed as a proper man, starting with taking his balls out of your Gucci handbag and reattaching them to himself.- poor old Sloshua, who apparently goes to the gym every day at the crack of dawn, has got a boo-boo on his leg from playing football with proper men.
- stuck for content? Just film the same seagull couple who nested on your roof last year, and say the male is "attacking" you when it was clearly flying in the opposite direction (probably scared it would get feathers caught in her teeth). "Every year", like it's a surprise when you live near the coast to have gulls nesting on your roof.
- Racquetball is meeting with Nostrils to plan a "trauma course". What's that Rambo, how to cause it, seeing as you're the bleeping expert? But despite having no kids at home, office space in at least one of her centres, they're meeting in Costa. They've probably still got loads of those vouchers that the huns bought burning a hole in their pockets. She shared a story from Emily of her "working" with the caption "like a lawyer in London", no hun, you're a bleep in Costa.
- Sloshy's working hard - not down at the station, fighting crime and banging up the baddies, but on getting his beach deployment kit together (which so far consists of a folding trolley and a cool box).
- on the PatreCON, Ramble said that she had to get antibiotics for bacterial vaginosis just before her holiday to notBarbados, meaning she likely had it when she was rubbing her vulva on her brother-in-law's neck at her party
. She's now got thrush and her period is due. This is well worth the fiver a month people are paying her! She then went on to say that she has passed her tendency for mouth ulcers on to Tallulah, and thrushy fanny on to Betsy. Roll up, roll up, for just £5 a month you can hear Rancid talking about her teenage daughter's genitals she also said that the seagulls on the roof have made her realise she doesn't want another baby, as they keep her up at night and she can't cope. Could any local Tattlers please pop round to throw some chips and ice cream onto the roof to thank Steven and Shirley Seagull for the sterling work they've put in to avoid another Shambleton cash cow - Rambo filmed herself coming down the stepladder stairs, past the stain where Wilby opened a tin of paint and spilled it on the floor (no fucker obviously took the hint and offered her a new carpet for free then), and downstairs to greet Wilby and the childminder. Wilbert took one look at her, and threw himself onto the floor and started wailing (Ratchet captioned it "the overwhelm of walking in the door", more like he gets appropriate attention and interaction with his childminder, and he knows when he gets home he'll be ignored apart from having every move filmed). She said "ok, we'll just ignore you", STEPPED OVER HIM and started a conversation with the childminder.
- she then followed this up with footage of Wilby crying, and Sloshy picking him up and settling on the sofa with a bottle and his muslin cloth. Ratshit is clearly trying to prove he's having "meltdowns", when really he looked like a toddler who was tired, hungry, and in need of some comfort
- in the couple of days that Rancid and Mangina Malcolm were away in notBarbados, new bestie Lianne has managed to put a bedtime routine in place for Wilby. Despite having raised 3 kids already, Rango is AMAZED that this works, who would have thought?!
- RayJay managed to "accidentally" set off one of the personal alarms that she's got knocking around the gaff. Cue running for her phone (of course, frankly I'm more surprised that it wasn't already in her hand), all for a bit of FML content. Quick note that while she's walking around in head to toe Gucci, the ceiling of her "loft conversion" isn't actually finished
oh, and it turns out it was all an ad for the Snatchwork quid shop after all that.- PC Tic Tac Teeth was allowed to go birdwatching, and found a fawn curled up in a hedge. Being the experienced wildlife officer and nature lover he is, he leaned in nice and close to video it for his Instagram. Let's hope when the mother gets back she doesn't smell him and reject her fawn.
- Now that Rabid has dropped in the words "career break" in relation to Sloshua, all pretence that he was going to work has disappeared (even though she said it wasn't starting until mid June). So they're off to the dentist together, like love's young dream
let's hope they're getting a BOGOF for sorting both their teeth out.- two of the Snatchwork twats have had parking tickets, which Racket is overjoyed at.
- the baby who was at the tat shop opening has come round for tea, who'd have thought that a little one could sit in a high chair and eat a plate of real food? Not Rancid, seeing as she never managed to get Wilby to do it.
- Racquet started off the day by secretly filming Tallulah and Edie arguing over a skirt (sounded like 13 year old T wanted to wear one of 8 year old Edie's skirts, no wonder they barely cover her arse
)- Cunty Carol and head Dan were being an absolute pair of pricks to Seb, who was talking about wanting to go out for food with them. Sloshy couldn't even look at his son, meanwhile all Seb wants is a bit of bleeping attention
- up in the love nest loft, Rambling Rancid was on about bathrooms and hosing her hole with a bidet. Lush. She saw a gold bath that she wants, but it's £4k so "out of my budget really", even though she spent £5k on a watch for Hot Pants Harold at Christmas. She mentioned it would be the cost of a "tit job", no doubt laying the seeds for getting the new bath AND a new pair of tits. After the hole talk, she had to mention her thrushy fanny as well.
- she reckons she had THE BEST time in Barcelona. Are you trying to persuade us or yourself babe? Because we all saw your face when you found out
- Seb's left school, and only in for his exams now. He's fallen out with GG because she came home at 5am at the weekend, went into his room and pulled his covers off. REMINDER: GG is 18 so legally an adult, Seb is 16 so still a minor. Seb told her "it's not even your house", so GG blocked his moped in with her car (the moped that Rango recently said Seb wasn't allowed to use). Betsy's already hit her car on the wall getting on to the drive. She snarled about the fact that her drive is between the neighbour's gardens so she can't have all the space to get her two Volvos in and out (it's not like she rented there for years and knew she had two teenagers coming up to driving age or anything
GG blocked Seb's moped in, and he said to Betsy "tell your mate to move her car". Despite being Betsy's mate, GG took offence at being referred to as Betsy's mate and there was a big argument, followed by Booty Shorts Benjamin taking everyone outside and telling them he'd been trained in driving by the military and the police. While strutting around in nothing but a pair of tight shorts, with his hand down the front GG has quickly fallen into the Shambleton family way of slagging everyone off and acting like she's better than all the others.- Apparently Seb rides his moped to school every day but Rabid has to follow him because it's not derestricted so it's slow (nope, no idea how that's meant to make sense).
- she then started wanging on about birds, and how Sloshua isn't as interested in going off birdwatching this year because he's got a garden full of caged birds to look after. Something about chickens, Joyce is off work (like he has been in months), and does the school run and then goes for a coffee every day (as if Raq would let him!).
- She'd videoed Seb brushing his teeth in the kitchen sink, no idea why.
- weirdo Jeremy the estate agent won a prize in the Snatchwork raffle, surprisingly he didn't want to go bouncing so asked them to draw someone else.
- Lianne has replaced Stabby Jo in every respect, including accompanying Ratshit and Sloshy in looking for bathroom stuff.
- Rambo did a Q&A on her Patreon, which included such gems as "what contraception do you use" (pull out and pray, apparently, more likely hope Joyce's swimmers aren't working due to his excessive alcohol consumption). She also told everyone what Betsy uses (no mention of condoms to protect her from STIs on her one night stands in the shed), and that she was "cray cray" when she had a coil. Excellent language from the queen of mental health there. Someone asked whether Henry was "Seb's brother from his mum", either she asked this herself off one of her other accounts, or the huns noticed what Tattlers did when it sounded like she'd said "Seb's mum texted", turns out it was Seb's friend's mum. Another question was about someone having missed a school picnic, which was an opportunity for Racket to say that she sent in extra food with Edie in case there were any other kids that forgot their lunch (because primary schools are known for letting kids sit hungry, aren't they?). Next question was about her and Sloshy's mums, they've both been poorly so St Rabble has been there saving the day, cooking them meals. Another question was about the homeless man that she "used to help" (aka her and Gangsta Granny were laughing their socks off as they gave him some things that they hadn't even checked he wanted or needed, and then Rawhide said she'd had "a nice day out"). She replied that she has met him for coffee, and now has his bank details so she can send him money. It's a well known fact that you can't get a bank account without a permanent address, so either she's talking out of her arse, or he's not really homeless
- Sloshy is "working" at the jumble shop, although he was quick to point out he's "volunteering". Either way, Toothy Tina had said his career break wasn't starting until mid-June, and he would still need permission to undertake any paid or unpaid work. Edie arrived at the front door to ask whether she had the right nappy to put on Wilby, and she had a visible scratch on her face so of course Ramble put in the caption that Wilby had a meltdown and scratched her
- while PC Pigeon Legs was out working/volunteering in the shop, Rambo had set up the patio area with outdoor rugs and furniture, and set the kitchen table, because Arsetrid and Simon were coming over. Nice to see you make an effort once, Ratchet!
- Remember that time when she ditched the kids and went to London to do "important meetings" with Refuge, then it turned out she was actually going to a Britain's Got Talent show? Well it's finally aired, with the camera having done a close up on her chops
so of course all the huns messaged her to tell her, and she had to repost them all. I bet she made Arsetrid and Simon watch it on repeat on her Sky Glass telly (#ad).- Arsetrid's birthday gift was a picture in a frame of two birds, very much in keeping with Arsetrid's quirky style, but we could all tell Rango was disappointed, probably because it wasn't something Gucci.
- the entertainment for after dinner with Arsetrid and Simon was asking Edie about her times tables, with Betsy stood behind her clearly pissed off that she wasn't centre of attention for a change. So she went and grabbed Wilby to bring him in so everyone could cheer him
- as predicted by a Tattler, Ratty Raq showed the yacht on fire in the harbour, because did everyone know she has a sea view?
- just days after sowing the seed of splashing out £4k on a bath, Shameless Sharon is now on the beg for food. She reckons they do a big shop every week for "the women at the centre" (aka her mates like Sweaty Betty), but because it's half term (no idea what difference that makes), she wants donations of "nice stuff" - not just basics, and if you can add a magazine, evern better
coming from someone who doesn't pay her her own food shop (#tesco, #plantchef #milkandmore etc), and is bleeping RAKING it in from various sources, this is absolutely sickening. Then someone conveniently asked how they can donate if they're not local, it's ok guys, you can buy vouchers and post them (or maybe, I don't know, DONATE TO A FOOD BANK WHERE YOU LIVE?).- in the car, Joyce was grilling Edie on her tines tables again. Listening to your own kid doing them is dull enough, so I'm not sure why she thinks people want to hear Edie doing them (and let's be honest, it's probably Edie's dad that's put in the hard work helping her learn them, seeing as in the Patchwork Hamster Cage Mansion nobody gives a tit about education).
- next it was on to the draw for the Snatchwork raffle - which has apparently raised £7000. Begs the question why that money isn't used for the aforementioned food shop? She's not posting the prizes and winners though, so it doesn't "spoil the surprise ". The surprise is probably that if there are any winners, it'll be her mates and employees.
- Arsetrid reckons she has given up drinking (despite filming Joyce pouring and passing her a drink). Rambo reckons she hardly drinks, only about every 8 weeks. Yet she was hammered at her birthday party, was out for lunch drinking the following day, jetted off to notBarbados a couple of days later and drank every day, when they got back there was one night at home and the next they were off to Exeter for the night, and that was all in one week
- @FridaK estimated that the Patreon is currently pulling in almost £12,500 a month (based on the followers of the Instagram each paying £5 a month, so the figure is very likely higher).
- Rancid started off Monday by accidentally uploading a sunrise picture to her own Instagram, then deleting it and putting it on Sloshy's instead. Nobody would have known, except she forgot it had already uploaded to her Facebook as well
If you are new, please read the wiki (pink button at the top) and if you are in need of support or advice in relation to domestic abuse, there are some links and helplines listed at the bottom of the wiki page
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