Pregnancy #40 we're here for advice so just be nice!

[Dramabyname]

39+2 and I feel like utter crap, my stomach has been in bits most of the day and I feel so nauseous. Had a morning nap and an afternoon nap and I still feel absolutely knackered. I can barely walk more than 5 minutes without my hips and back aching and if one more person asks me “if I’m still here” I’ll scream.
What does that question even mean? Even when baby is here.. I’ll still be here?!?! I have such mum guilt for my 6 year old as I feel so useless as a person right now never mind being mummy. My other half is great though and has really picked everything up and holding down the fort whilst I cry and complain.
Sorry for the moan and the me me me. I hope you’re all doing ok

 

[WotsitG1]

I totally sympathise it’s a horrible wait I remember making myself ill with worry because my mindset was very much “this is too good to be true”. Distraction is the best remedy so you’re not constantly thinking about being pregnant, if you can, make sure you’re not leaving yourself alone too long thinking of all the things driving your anxiety. Trusting your body and the fact that you’ve had good news so far. If you’ve been avoiding buying a little thing like a baby grow I’d 100% recommend doing it, this massively overpowered my anxiety for me because I took back control. Try look after yourself, take your vitamins, eat/drink as healthy as you can (easier said than done I know but equally don’t worry if you can’t), try focus on the things within your control and not the things out with & most of all go easy on yourself x

Thankyou so much, this is all such lovely advice. I do try and keep reminding myself it’s all been good news so far.
I thought I’d go straight out after 12 week scan and buy bits but didn’t. But yes this week I might go and just pick up a few little bits. Might make it few more real!
I think a lot of my problem is letting myself do too much “research” and constantly trying to find things that can go wrong! Like you said I just need to trust my body abit!

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

Made it all the way to 36+2 without an issue. Went for my growth scan today and his estimated weight is lower than it should be. Most of his measurements were spot on, my consultant assured me, just his weight is a concern. 15% (at the 32wk scan) down to 7%. She did assure me that there is room for error with the scans, so not to worry too much. Also my placenta is working above average, so it’s not affecting his oxygen levels, thank god! His heart was fine and he was measuring as he should when the midwife measured him with the tape this morning.
Got to go for another scan on the 17th. If he’s still not gaining at the rate he should, I’ll be induced.

Has anyone else had this before? Can’t help but wonder if it’s something I’m doing/I’ve done. I’m a chocolate picker and I have treated myself to a can or two of normal Pepsi Max from time to time but have generally tried to go caffeine free.

Really worried now.

I've had 3 growth scans. She's gone from 10th centile, to 50th, to somewhere in between. The last consultant I saw seems to think there's been a measuring error somewhere along the line. I'm back on Thursday for another scan, so we'll see what happens then.

My blood flow and fluid levels are both fine, which they've said is a good sign and gives less cause to worry.

 

[WhatABore]

Made it all the way to 36+2 without an issue. Went for my growth scan today and his estimated weight is lower than it should be. Most of his measurements were spot on, my consultant assured me, just his weight is a concern. 15% (at the 32wk scan) down to 7%. She did assure me that there is room for error with the scans, so not to worry too much. Also my placenta is working above average, so it’s not affecting his oxygen levels, thank god! His heart was fine and he was measuring as he should when the midwife measured him with the tape this morning.
Got to go for another scan on the 17th. If he’s still not gaining at the rate he should, I’ll be induced.

Has anyone else had this before? Can’t help but wonder if it’s something I’m doing/I’ve done. I’m a chocolate picker and I have treated myself to a can or two of normal Pepsi Max from time to time but have generally tried to go caffeine free.

Really worried now.

The scans can be massively inaccurate.
I've never had an accurate weight estimate with my 3.

I did have similar this time around however, they kept saying it was just a dodgy measurement.
But she dropped percentiles at one growth scan. Then the next one, she dropped again. And they said "Oh, it's probably because she's hard to measure properly now she's lower down"
So I was reassured.
Then the next one, she did the scan and said "Oh, it seems she's dropped again"
So she measured 4 more times until it didn't look like she dropped on the chart.
Which annoyed me a little but presumed they knew what they were doing.
That was at 40 weeks. So she technically dropped 3 scans in a row but they remeasured and made it look like she was back on track.
So they estimated her at nearly 9lb.
She was born 5 days later at 6lb 14.
So I think she was dropping like they said but as they kept rescanning, they missed it.

So whilst it's not exactly the same, I think she was dropping, like your situation.

Either way, it's out of your control and nothing you can/could do!

How can I get past this early first trimester anxiety?

I’m 5 weeks today (I think) and it doesn’t feel real at all. I’m still testing and my tests are dark, I’ve had a few symptoms (lots of CM, severe nausea, no bleeding etc) but it still doesn’t feel real. It took us a really long time to conceive and I’m so scared that I’m either going to have a miscarriage or something will be wrong.

Stop testing for starters
You're just wasting tests as they will show you nothing about the pregnancy really and all it'll do is give you more anxiety.
I've mentioned before that when I had my miscarriage, my test was positive for 6 weeks. Weeks 1 and 2 tests were brighter than my original tests I took when I found out I was pregnant.

Just know that your anxiety is completely normal and it does tend to last thought the whole pregnancy.
It's a very worrying time and everything is so out of your control.
I don't think there's a single person that hasn't had that anxiety, whether they've had a previous loss or not.
So just know you're not alone and use everyone on here to ask questions that may ease your mind a bit

 

[AnastaciaBeaverhousen]

Thank you ladies @DiscoBiscuit and @WhatABore Really appreciate hearing your experiences. Fingers crossed it is just an error.
These threads are an absolute godsend.

 

[FirsttimeTTC]

Well I spent my first day of maternity leave finally finishing my bags, cleaning out two cupboards, cleaning the bathroom, eating a huge slice of cake and sleeping for 2 hours

Woohoo Happy Mat leave!! You’ve made it

Thankyou so much, this is all such lovely advice. I do try and keep reminding myself it’s all been good news so far.
I thought I’d go straight out after 12 week scan and buy bits but didn’t. But yes this week I might go and just pick up a few little bits. Might make it few more real!
I think a lot of my problem is letting myself do too much “research” and constantly trying to find things that can go wrong! Like you said I just need to trust my body abit!

You’re not alone in feeling any of this, it’s so so tough & as much as each stage brings its own worries when you start to feel your baby move the anxiety you’re feeling right now should ease off. I posted on here one night when I was early pregnant, my anxiety got the better of me so much so I spent from the moment I woke in the morning until about 9pm this day frantically googling all sorts of negative things and you better believe I found myself in every negative corner of the internet feeding my mind with absolute terror. I ended up having a panic attack and was on all fours because I couldn’t breathe, and I actually made myself vomit because of the anxiety. That week I vowed enough was enough and went to mamas and papas and bought a baby grow and something just lifted in me, it was so emotional From that day on I banned myself from googling and the habit eventually went away. Lots of love to you! P.s. I also scheduled a few private scans to break up the time so I had an 8 week, 10 week (anxiety) 13 week (NHS scan) then a 17 week and then had my 20 week. I could feel baby move at 18 weeks so I didn’t feel the need after. I’ve ended up being sent for growth scans etc since but honestly I’ve not needed the reassurance which is good going considering I was in a right pickle. Do what is right for you but hopefully you’ll find something to help you relax xxx

 

[Hunthehun]

Made it to 38 weeks without being fat shamed but wow did the doctor make up for it today. Literally had one of the smoothest pregnancies with very little issues and today this doctor really ruined such a positive experience. Yes I have a high BMI but it’s not that bad and I’m actually shockingly healthy with no medical issues but this witch really made me feel like absolute crap today. I’ve never even met the woman before but she felt it was important to make me feel like I was trying to be overweight and trying to do damage to my baby. Just why I don’t understand

Sorry rant over now but I needed it

 

[Nayalove96]

Made it to 38 weeks without being fat shamed but wow did the doctor make up for it today. Literally had one of the smoothest pregnancies with very little issues and today this doctor really ruined such a positive experience. Yes I have a high BMI but it’s not that bad and I’m actually shockingly healthy with no medical issues but this witch really made me feel like absolute crap today. I’ve never even met the woman before but she felt it was important to make me feel like I was trying to be overweight and trying to do damage to my baby. Just why I don’t understand

Sorry rant over now but I needed it

So sorry you’ve been made to feel like that! I have been made to feel like tit because I’ve put 3lbs on throughout my pregnancy and she basically made me feel like I didn’t give a tit about my baby! She said something stupid like “just eat more” yeah thanks for that hun I’ll try xo

 

[FoksiOska]

Had my flu jab today. Not sure if I'm starting to feel a bit rough, I really hope not! I guess ill just have to wait and see how tonight. Did anyone else struggle with theirs?

It sounds so selfish (and quite frankly I shouldn't even be thinking like this) but I'm that busy at work that I can't afford to lose work time by being off sick at the mo I'm getting pretty fed up with the amount of work I've got on and I'm genuinely getting to the point where I'm thinking of sacking it all off early because its starting to take the piss now. I'll be 30weeks tomorrow

 

[Tired of this crap]

Made it to 38 weeks without being fat shamed but wow did the doctor make up for it today. Literally had one of the smoothest pregnancies with very little issues and today this doctor really ruined such a positive experience. Yes I have a high BMI but it’s not that bad and I’m actually shockingly healthy with no medical issues but this witch really made me feel like absolute crap today. I’ve never even met the woman before but she felt it was important to make me feel like I was trying to be overweight and trying to do damage to my baby. Just why I don’t understand

Sorry rant over now but I needed it

Bedside manner makes such a huge difference, I’ve had similar experience with negative doctors. I really hope you don’t have to see this one again! Sounds like you’ve had a really positive pregnancy and your body has been doing a great job - try to focus on that rather than the rigid views of one unhelpful individual!

 

[fairylights2000]

Made it to 38 weeks without being fat shamed but wow did the doctor make up for it today. Literally had one of the smoothest pregnancies with very little issues and today this doctor really ruined such a positive experience. Yes I have a high BMI but it’s not that bad and I’m actually shockingly healthy with no medical issues but this witch really made me feel like absolute crap today. I’ve never even met the woman before but she felt it was important to make me feel like I was trying to be overweight and trying to do damage to my baby. Just why I don’t understand

Sorry rant over now but I needed it

Really sorry to hear that. I also have a high BMI and so far haven't been made to feel bad about it (touch wood) although the consultant I saw last week said things like eating for two is a bit of a myth when you're pregnant you only need an extra banana a day (duck off!) Or try not to gain any weight (ok so actually lose weight then with all the baby and placenta etc!)

This kind of treatment makes such a difference to your experience, at 38 weeks you might not feel up to saying anything about it but if there's an opportunity to feed back on your care you could bring it up. Hope everything continues smoothly and you don't see that doctor again!

 

[themuffinwoman]

Random question but does anyone find they ache really quickly after doing something vaguely strenuous, e.g changing the duvet covers?? I changed them an hour ago and Jesus Christ my arms and shoulders are aching like I’ve just done a gym session.

 

[Heyguysswipeup]

Just had my repeat hcg tests back and they’ve more than quadrupled in the past 4 days and my progesterone levels are nice and high, they have pushed forward how far along I am so am now 5w4d .. I am soooo relieved! I have been feeling sick with worry all day today as none of my previous hcg tests doubled. I have an early scan booked for 2 weeks time so just got to stay sane for the next fortnight!!!

 

[Ro98]

Made it to 38 weeks without being fat shamed but wow did the doctor make up for it today. Literally had one of the smoothest pregnancies with very little issues and today this doctor really ruined such a positive experience. Yes I have a high BMI but it’s not that bad and I’m actually shockingly healthy with no medical issues but this witch really made me feel like absolute crap today. I’ve never even met the woman before but she felt it was important to make me feel like I was trying to be overweight and trying to do damage to my baby. Just why I don’t understand

Sorry rant over now but I needed it

Sorry you had to deal with that! What a horrible woman.
My midwife said at my booking in appointment (I was worried I wasn’t eating enough due to feeling sick 24/7) “we don’t care about mums weight or size, if you’re not displaying any health concerns then we couldn’t care less about weight & no one should mention it” so I hope the next one you see is kinder! Some can be absolute witches for no reason

 

[Itsallthecheese]

Scanxiety is back for tomorrow 20w... Hope everything is ok... Feel like I might actually be able to get excited after and start preparing.... Just feel so overwhelmed about everything and work stress isn't helping. Such a rollercoaster.

 

[Spencerskates]

Just had my repeat hcg tests back and they’ve more than quadrupled in the past 4 days and my progesterone levels are nice and high, they have pushed forward how far along I am so am now 5w4d .. I am soooo relieved! I have been feeling sick with worry all day today as none of my previous hcg tests doubled. I have an early scan booked for 2 weeks time so just got to stay sane for the next fortnight!!!

So exciting! Hope these two weeks pass quickly for you!

Have you had IVF/fertility treatment? I keep hearing of people being offered blood tests but I haven’t been offered any so wondered if that was normal or not!

 

[Heyguysswipeup]

So exciting! Hope these two weeks pass quickly for you!

Have you had IVF/fertility treatment? I keep hearing of people being offered blood tests but I haven’t been offered any so wondered if that was normal or not!

I’m under a fertility specialist we tried clomid for the first time and it worked! But that’s why I’m getting repeat bloods etc cos i live in nz and referred privately. Surely they would take bloods as part of antenatal screening? X

 

[FatherJackHackett]

Hi guys, I've just found out at the weekend I'm expecting number two just wondering what pregnancy apps everyone recommends? I'm in the UK. It's been a while since I had my first and I'm not joking when I say it feels like I'm starting from scratch lol. Hope you're all keeping well and I'm so glad to have found this thread x

 

[themuffinwoman]

I’m under a fertility specialist we tried clomid for the first time and it worked! But that’s why I’m getting repeat bloods etc cos i live in nz and referred privately. Surely they would take bloods as part of antenatal screening? X

only at the first antenatal appt unless there’s something else, I had bloods at about 10 weeks (I’m in the UK), I think by that point HCG starts going down whilst progesterone picks up? In America the first thing that seems to happen after a positive test is bloods. Congrats on your pregnancy!

 

[WhatABore]

So exciting! Hope these two weeks pass quickly for you!

Have you had IVF/fertility treatment? I keep hearing of people being offered blood tests but I haven’t been offered any so wondered if that was normal or not!

You don't have bloods taken until your booking appointment. But they don't test hcg levels ect unless you've had repeat miscarriages or fertility treatment ect