Hi, was a bit late to answer
@shadowofdoubt ’s q on the last thread so catching up here. We’re still just being observed for now (me for BP and bloods and baby for heartbeat and movement, both good only my BP really that’s all over the place but not super high anymore, and honestly I’m starting to think that’s mostly from the stress. They keep coming and checking after I’ve been having yet another good cry).
We’re still on labour ward, in assessment, Doctors/consultants come round every morning and evening (which I think is standard?) to update on any results and what’s going on/any plans.
The baby is well developed for his gestational age, which is good and on our side (that bloody sonographer yesterday.. honestly those who have got annoyed when sonographers say they can’t comment on something because they are not consultants/it’s not their job, they’re telling the truth!). He’s looking just under 2lbs and brain, heart and vital organs have all developed really well and he looks like a healthy, happy little 27week foetus. He’s also got a great steady 145bpm heartbeat and is moving around happily. The only thing that is causing the massive concern is that every other heartbeat the pre-eclampsia is causing the blood supply from my placenta to him to shut off. He appears to have managed well so far without this, however they are concerned this could change any moment, and when it does they have to get him out straight away. They’re therefore monitoring us both to get that balancing act right, basically figuring out when he will be safer and develop better outside the womb than inside. They’re telling me this will be days not weeks. They’ve put me on a fast today in case I need a c section, but I’m hoping he can safely stay in as many days as possible just so he’s less premature.
a doctor from NICU came to speak to us yesterday too. She was lovely and very reassuring in many ways. She did have to tell us about all the health risks we could encounter, but all are relatively small, and survival at 27-8 weeks is actually good. She told us we would have been having a more somber conversation with her if he was smaller or much earlier. She explained all the things that will happen while he’s in NICU and that we can see him as much as we want.
MH wise I’m not doing great. I’m mostly worried sick about him, and how we’re going to manage the stress of the next few months of him in NICU where they’ve said he’ll be until his November due date. To a lesser extent and unexpectedly i’m grieving the pregnancy and birth I’ve been preparing for that i’m now, suddenly, not going to have. Tried to read the c-section part of a pregnancy book to prepare myself yesterday and just felt irrationally angry at this stupid book and author telling me about hypnobirthing and getting to skin to skin with my baby after a section. I’m never going to get to that third trimester stage. We have paid NCT and loads of free neonatal classes booked, and the fact we’re now going to get hands on one on one training with the midwives in NICU combined with the fact that I have no idea how I will go to these classes with a bunch of pregnant people is making me think I should just cancel. All these new mum friends I was making on peanut etc. I have no idea how I’ll talk to them now. Partly because I’ll feel sad and they’ll feel awkward I don’t feel ready to not feel his little kicks getting stronger every week anymore. I feel he’s not ready to come out yet, which is upsetting. The newborn baby cries and sounds of women in labour has become increasingly bittersweet. I’m not going to have that first healthy, happy baby cry and hold him in my arms. If that comes at all it will be months. I’m angry I didn’t meet the criteria to be put on aspirin for straight away, it was only after the placenta issue was spotted at my 20 week scan. I’m blaming that now even though we couldn’t have known, but I think I’m just grieving and feeling angry and like my body has failed me and my baby.
Hoping I can find some positivity soon. Sorry this has been quite long and a bit of a downer. I think there are some positives but I’m just really struggling to take it all in at the minute
I was full on blubbing 
