PND with second baby?

LittleB · May 16, 2020

I had PND with my son (first child) who is now two years old. I didn’t begin to feel back to my ‘old self’ until after his first birthday, and although I’ve had a few wobbles since then, I am feeling much better and I’m really enjoying motherhood.

Before I had my son I had never had any mental health issues and had always been a ‘happy-go-lucky’ sort of person. I naively thought I would be the last person to suffer with PND.

My husband and I have now started thinking about having another baby. I would love my son to have a sibling but I’m terrified of going back to how I felt before, it was such a sad, lonely and scary time.

I’m just looking for advice on this really.

Has anyone else out there felt like this before? Has anyone had PND with first child but not with second? Or PND with both? How did you manage it? I would be interested in hearing your experiences.

Thanks in advance - from a worried mum!

Annim · May 16, 2020

I had pre and post natal anxiety and depression with my first. I was in therapy for months whilst pregnant and after giving birth. I have been on antidepressants since my daughter was 2 months. I am now pregnant again and still on meds. So far do good. If you get pregnant, you can talk to your midwife in the booking appointment about your pnd. They can get you in contact with perinatal team who will work with you and help you.

Annim said:
I had pre and post natal anxiety and depression with my first. I was in therapy for months whilst pregnant and after giving birth. I have been on antidepressants since my daughter was 2 months. I am now pregnant again and still on meds. So far do good. If you get pregnant, you can talk to your midwife in the booking appointment about your pnd. They can get you in contact with perinatal team who will work with you and help you.

Oh, my first is now 3.5 years old.

Begborrowsteal · May 17, 2020

I had quite bad pnd with both, but they were 14 months apart. I struggled to get help but thats (unfortunately) dependent on area. All I can say is utilise whats available (gp, family centre, HV..) and ask for pre-emptive help.

Despite all the struggles, id still love a third. I just dont know if im strong enough.

hellylou87 · May 17, 2020

I had post natal depression and psychosis with my daughter. It took around 3 years to get back to some sort of me again. I then fell pregnant with my son and at my booking appointment with the midwife we went through what help was available pre and post natal. They can extend your home visits after baby is born, I think mine was extended to something like 28 days. Was offered counselling and all sorts of extra help.
Once he was born I did have post natal depression to a certain degree, and I did have some erratic behaviour, but my friends/ family and myself we’re all more aware of the signs and triggers and I was offered counselling and medication all of which I took.
Despite having had a bit of a rocky start with both children, I would absolutely love a third. And all I can say is talk talk and talk. Accept all the help you are offered.
It is a scary thought, going back to those horrible dark days, but try not to let it affect your future plans. You are stronger than PND. Xx

Mum2girls · May 17, 2020

I had PND after my first, she was such a hard colicky reflux baby I really struggled.
I was so anxious to have another incase it all happened again. I talked it over with my midwife and health visitor and they were both very supportive. My second one came along and she’s been a little dream from the word go. It took awhile for the ‘this is too good to be true’ feelings to go. I was so on edge for something to happen to set my
PND off. But thankfully it didn’t happen. Don’t get me wrong it’s been a challenge with 2 and juggling everything but I’m not in that same place I was with my first.
The healthcare professionals described my PND as circumstantial PND. Baby cried 24/7 and was absolutely draining.
Hope it goes well for you, try not to get swamped with these thoughts of ‘what if.....’ and talk to the people close around you and your HV/MW about how you’re feeling.

Jellycat99 · May 17, 2020

I suffered terribly with PND with my first, he screamed for the first 3/4 months of his life (colic) and my husband worked nights so I was alone all day and all night.
I was optimistic that I wouldn't have it with our second and I was right, he was a dream baby and slotted in perfectly. I think a lot of it was circumstantial with my first as I didn't have a great time whilst pregnant and had a hard labour.
Second time around you are definitely more aware so I think that helps a lot, I said to my husband and family to be mindful of it too and my midwife and HV were a great support.

Wetmyplants · May 17, 2020

I had prenatal and post natal depression with my first and found out I was pregnant with my 2nd when I was 3 months pregnant, not ideal at all but my doctor was brilliant and put me on a low dose of antidepressants.

My second pregnancy was consultant led and I received a lot of support from HVs, midwives too. Me and my second had to stay in hospital a couple of days following her birth to make sure we were all okay and that she wasn’t suffering any side effects from the antidepressants.

I had no PND with my second and found it much easier x